Chapter 4
Noa
A s Ryan and Noa made their way into The Brew, a sense of nostalgia hit her all at once.
This was the place she had come to during her rebellious teenage years when she was under age, and it was the only place in town lenient enough to look the other way.
She’d had her eighteenth birthday here, and the whole town had turned up.
Freymoor was good like that. It had a sense of community like nowhere she had ever been before.
As much as she’d first wanted to lock herself away at her parent’s house and throw away the key, when her brother had suggested coming tonight, she’d thought maybe unlike denial, distraction could be a healthy coping mechanism.
Thinking back to that birthday put a smile on her face.
Her brother was going through his ‘I’m going to be in a rock band’ phase at the time and had eagerly volunteered—pushed may be more accurate—to make this event his first ‘gig’ .
Let’s just say this dream fizzled out by the end of the year, but the mohawk took slightly longer to grow out.
The Brew was the favourite go-to joint in their small town that didn’t have another good bar for miles.
It was one of those places where regulars had their own seats they would sit in time after time, and tabs could be left open for weeks on end.
The definition of the quintessential small-town vibe.
Now, everything on the inside looked… different.
It still felt warm and inviting—unequivocally Freymoor—but there were subtle changes that highlighted the passing of time and the fact that, as much as she thought it would, the town she grew up in had not stood still since she left it.
Her heart ached at the thought of what else she could have missed, a pang of sadness settling in her bones.
The once-shaggy-looking interior had been replaced to give it a much more upmarket feel.
The sticky vinyl floor was now lined with deep Mahogany wood, which matched what looked like a hand-crafted bar and bar top.
The dingy dance floor and DJ booth had been swapped to an intimate band-stand and multiple sofas dotted around, encouraging people to chat and enjoy the atmosphere.
This must have happened when the new ownership took over , she thought.
Ryan had mentioned something about it, but she had been so wrapped up in her own dramas following an argument with Lucas at the time, and she clearly hadn’t been listening.
She recalled there was something about The Brew becoming run-down and the owners becoming too old to maintain it.
She was sure they had run into financial troubles, but that was the extent to which she had listened before Lucas had stood with his hand on his hip, waiting for her to get off the phone so they could finish their disagreement.
Also, in her defence, Ryan was like an overgrown toddler and spoke a mile a minute sometimes.
She couldn’t be expected to remember every word that came out of his mouth.
‘What you having?’ Ryan asked, nodding over to the crowded bar and draping a heavy arm over her shoulder, temporarily shaking her out of her daydreams.
‘Oh, you tell me. Whatever’s good these days… and locally brewed, obviously. You know I prefer it to the imported stuff,’ she feigned cheerfulness, not wanting her brother to jump into protective mode.
So, as Ryan took off toward the bar, Noa returned to her trip down memory lane as her eyes cast over the surrounding space.
The pool table where her dad taught her to play pool, the dart board where she’d beaten Ryan on her twentieth birthday— he’d insisted he’d let her—before she’d gone on to get a very wavy level of drunk in a celebration of said big victory.
As her thoughts spiralled, she realised that this was the very same night she lost her virginity to…
Noa very quickly cut off that train of thought.
It felt wrong to think of it, to think of him in Ryan’s presence.
But, despite her best efforts, self-preservation did not win, and she was tossed back into the memory of her twenty-year-old self.
‘Shit, shit, shit,’ Noa thought as she frantically tried to grab her clothes from where they decorated the floor around the bed.
Alex’s mum always worked every hour of the day, and it had seemed to work in their favour as they’d fumbled into the house last night. But now, she wished there had been someone to talk sense into her and stop her idiocy.
Someone who would have reminded her that this was not just anyone that she was about to lose her virginity to, but her brother’s best friend.
For so long, she’d ignored any whisper of a connection between her and Alex.
She’d plastered on her friendliest smile around him, reminding herself of the not-so-subtle warnings her brother had drip-fed them over the years. Yet, in one drunken night, she had torn down any flimsy barriers she’d kept between them.
Shit, shit, shit.
This time she was sure she’d spoken the words aloud as she heard rustling from over her shoulder, evidence of life from the bed.
She closed her eyes, hoping that if she couldn’t see him then he, too, couldn’t see her attempt at a discreet escape.
How would she explain this?
‘Where are you going, Trouble?’ a gravelly voice asked. Her heartbeat picked up, and—were those butterflies? No!
No, no, no.
She had to get out of here before salvaging their friendship became impossible and the risk of causing a rift between Alex and Ryan became inevitable.
She turned to look at Alex then.
He was twenty-two to her twenty and was just starting to fill out in all the right places. His defined pecs were on display over the covers and a light dusting of chest hair decorated them in the centre, evidence that Alex was not a boy anymore.
He was a man.
And, like a man, he could make his own decisions. That’s exactly what last night was.
The rational part of Noa’s brain should have known that. But Noa was a perpetual overthinker, and rational thinking often took a back seat to ‘worst-case scenario’.
And, right now, that worst-case scenario playing on repeat in her head, was the one where her lust-infused decision could very well lead to the downfall of Ryan’s and Alex’s relationship.
She didn’t know if she could take that. Even if a part of her was curious to explore what last night had meant.
She had to protect that friendship because, for years, her family had been more like a second family to Alex, and that wasn’t something worth risking.
Her brother was protective to a fault, and no relationship brought a guarantee. Everyone went into it risking their hearts. But this wouldn’t just risk their own, and she knew that, if something went south between them, Ryan would always take her side.
As she stood almost catatonic, staring at him, Alex reached out to grab her arm. She suspected he knew she was deep in her thoughts and, as he often did, was likely trying to pull her out of the place she had gone to.
He was good at that.
Looking into his warm eyes she felt lucky that her first time had been with someone she trusted and felt safe with.
But it wasn’t enough to make her question the words she spoke next as the fear took over.
‘We need to keep this between us,’ she blurted. Alex reared back like she had shot him before schooling his features.
She saw it then. That expression he had been wearing before was hope, and she had just crushed it.
‘I’m leaving for university. There is no need to complicate things with you and Ryan. If you are worried he will find out, I won’t say anything if you won’t…’
The sound of the microphone squealing jarred her from the memory.
A memory she had buried to keep her own guilt at bay.
And, when she had met Lucas at University, she hadn’t needed to think about it, because she had moved on, and it was truly in the past. But there was something about being in this place that unearthed it. The Brew was a reminder of that night.
A reminder of him.
The pact that they made that night to pretend like it never happened was the only secret her and her brother had ever had between each other.
She’d left for university that month, so what good would it have done to blow up Ryan’s friendship, with his best friend no less, and then leave him alone as she started a new life across the country?
No, she stood by it and maintained that it was the right decision for all involved.
He and Ryan had remained friends and lived out their playboy life styles together, and she had moved away and moved on.
She wouldn’t feel bad for that. It was a one-night stand, with too many beers on behalf of both parties that would never be repeated.
If she was honest, she doubted he—who’s name felt too dangerous to even think about—would even remember it now.
Not after the stories she’d heard from Ryan about his escapades over the years and the many notches he now had under his belt since that night.
Besides, losing him from her life had been an easier transition than she’d expected. It wasn’t like she had seen him since.
Not until—
A throat cleared behind her. Noa turned and quickly felt like all the air had been stolen from her lungs, the bar suddenly too hot, as her eyes caught on a pair of rich amber ones not three feet away from her.
Eyes that had always reminded her of the leaves on the trees in her favourite season.
Eyes that she had worked so hard to forget so that they wouldn’ t be her undoing.
Eyes that could not be mistaken as belonging to be anyone other than him.
Ryan’s best friend. And the one she’d pushed away. Alex Fletcher.