Chapter 7
Noa
A fter a morning of catching up with her family, Noa decided it was time to stop putting off the inevitable.
With a fresh cup of coffee in her hands, she pulled out her laptop to start the dreaded job search.
She pulled her feet underneath her so she could sit cross-legged on the living room couch, propped up by cushions and covered by her mum’s crochet granny square blankets.
Comfort was key when starting the tedious task of disseminating her CV, as was having her comfort show playing in the background.
Friends was both hers and Ryan’s comfort show actually, and she was pretty sure her brother could recite it line for line at this point.
Scrolling through job sites, Noa began her search.
She’d worked in publishing in London for the past five years after finishing her degree at University College London, but scouting the internet now, she quickly realised she didn’t entirely think this through.
Moving back to a small town in the middle of nowhere may not have been the smartest career move, and everything she stumbled across was either a huge step down or not in her industry in the slightest. After a few soul-crushing hours, Noa decided to call it a day and call in backup to bring her out of this job hunting-induced funk.
She closed her laptop and grabbed her phone, shooting off a message to her childhood best friend, Tes.
Tes had always been one of those friends who, even when long periods passed without them seeing each other, the moment they were reunited, it was like merely a week had passed.
Noa had always been grateful for their friendship, and never more so as when Tes walked through their front door an hour later without knocking, as that was never something they did, with a bottle of prosecco in her hand and a shit-eating grin on her face.
‘The bitch is back!’ she squealed, running over to Noa and almost knocking her to the ground as she tugged her into a hug.
She smelt like home—fresh air and a hint of pine. Noa hung onto her for dear life. Not even a mouthful of her dark hair could make Noa want to let her go.
‘She is,’ Noa smiled into Tes’s shoulder before reluctantly letting Tes extricate herself from her grip. ‘And she is very much in need of that,’ Noa said, pointing at the prosecco.
Tes quickly got to work retrieving two glasses, like their kitchen was her own, and waved Noa into the lounge where the two of them snuggled into the sofa like they were preparing to put the world to rights.
Noa couldn’t help but stare at Tes. This was familiar. This would never change.
Her best friend, in her classic leggings and a baggy T-shirt, black hair pulled into a high ponytail. She would always show up. Always be her safe place to fall.
When Noa moved away, they never lost touch.
She still knew every little detail about Noa’s life, every secret.
The physical distance did nothing but prove how special their friendship was.
Weekly video chats over morning coffees and Tes’s bi-monthly trips to the city had been the foundation of their friendship for the past eight years.
But being back with her at home made Noa’s heart sing.
‘Right, spill!’ Tes demanded, never one to beat around the bush. ‘And not the half-garbled ramblings I got on the phone yesterday. Start from the beginning.’
She interrogated Noa, seeking the lowdown on everything that had happened in the last week and how Noa had ended up back in Freymoor. Soon enough, Noa had filled her in on the entire ins and outs of her and Lucas’s breakup. Or as much as she could make sense of, at least.
Tes had been Noa’s sounding board on more occasions than she could count over the last year or so as she talked through her and Lucas’s troubles.
Even if she saw now that maybe it was Lucas she should have really been having those conversations with, Tes always gave the best advice, approaching all their conversations with a supportive, yet brutal, honesty that she was grateful for.
‘So let me get this right…’ Tes slurred as she stood from the sofa with her hands on her hips.
‘After everything you did for that boy…’ she shoved one finger in the air.
‘I’m sorry, I cannot in good faith bring myself to call him a man because that would simply be a lie.
But, after all you did, the sacrifices you made, the time you gave him… he just let you go.’
‘He did more than that that. He as good as asked me to. I know we hadn’t been seeing eye to eye as of late, and maybe we have been wanting different things, but it feels like the moment he realised that and realised he might have to make some sacrifices himself, he chucked in the towel instead of putting in the work when times got tough, you know? ’
Tes nodded.
‘And, don’t get me wrong, I know we shouldn’t have to sacrifice ourselves or our happiness for the sake of a relationship,’ Noa continued, ‘but the way he made it out was like this had been coming for a while. So, if he never had any intention of putting our relationship first or giving it the care it deserved, then why did he waste so much of my time by keeping me around for so long if it was so “ inevitable ”, as he put it?’
Her shoulders sagged, and she huffed out in exasperation, ‘I just can’t believe he felt like that, you know?’ Tes just stared at Noa like she had something to say, but didn’t know if she should.
‘What?’ Noa pressed.
‘Well… did you not see it coming?’ Tes said.
‘You told me months ago you felt like he rarely put your needs before his, and that you hadn’t been on a date in almost a year.
Did you question him or bring it up before now?
You know I love you, but you do have a tendency of burying your head in the sand and ignoring your problems instead of dealing with them head-on .
You always said communication never came naturally between you two.
Are you sure you didn’t just miss the signs?
Did he really never try to voice his side of things and his issues, or did you just choose to ignore it because it was easier?
You also told me you’d started bickering about little things all the time, so I don’t think it’s an altogether shocking turn of events. ’
Wow, Tes really was a no holds barred kind of friend, but sometimes it really did take Noa by surprise just how honest she could be. She felt grateful for her all over again, even if a little wounded.
‘Okay, so maybe I was comfortable and too scared to do anything about it, but I still think we missed a step in the breakup, you know? Like, we never even tried to make it work, we didn’t talk about our issues and how we could resolve them at all.’
‘There’s that lack of communication rearing its head again, but maybe it went both ways.
And then, one day, it just felt too late,’ Tes reasoned.
‘I agree, and am equally appalled that he didn’t voice his concerns way sooner and given things a chance, but you were far too patient with him.
But… and this is a big fat but… I know my best friend and I know you avoid conflict like the plague and will have equally allowed him to do that. ’
Tes could interpret the situation so well and, as much as she hated to admit it, deep down Noa knew she was right.
However, in that moment, had Noa been a dog, she would have put her tail between her legs, cowering at her friend’s brutal honesty.
This was why she needed her best friend at a time like this, to tell her straight what sometimes she just refused to acknowledge .
With that wake-up call probably being displayed all over Noa’s sombre facial expression, Tes expertly attempted to lighten the mood by shouting a little too loudly, ‘Oh, and did you not tell me he refused to use your vibrator on you when you told him you’d like that?’
She let her palm fall to her chest, feigning a look of horror.
‘I’m sorry, girl, but that right there should have been your final straw!
A man who finds his masculinity so threatened by a rubber toy that he will deny his girlfriend a killer orgasm should immediately be put in the bin, whether you loved him or not,’ she added, holding her hands up like she was under arrest.
Noa laughed, a huge belly laugh that felt really good, as she threw a pillow at her drama queen of a friend.
She was absolutely right. Lucas had often shut down her ideas to spice things up in the bedroom.
And, although she knew he hadn’t ever tried to deliberately make her feel bad or kink shamed, she had been embarrassed all the same.
It was safe to say she had put her guard up after that and not been honest about her desires again.
This girl’s afternoon was everything she had needed and more, and she felt so much lighter for it.
‘Oh, oh, oh! I know what you need,’ Tes squealed again, jumping off the sofa and doing an excited dance like she’d just discovered the world’s best-kept secret.
‘Do tell…’ Noa pressed.
‘Well, a good dicking, obviously ,’ Tes stated so matter-of-factly.
‘And from someone who knows what they’re doing.
A real man. You have been deprived for far too long and looking like that …
’ she emphasised the last word, waving her arms in Noa’s direction.
‘Well, it is simply a crime that must be rectified. My best friend is hot and deserves a man who makes her feel that way. ’
Noa rolled her eyes and decided to brush her friend off.
‘No, Tes, what I need is a plan. I did not just call you here to get prosecco drunk on a Friday afternoon and join Tinder. I need your help.’