Chapter 26
Noa
H o Chi Minh City had turned out to be a flying visit.
Even for Vietnam, the city was busy in a way that just felt exhausting, and none of them had felt very connected with the place or inclined to stay.
That was the perks of going with the flow Noa realised, complete freedom.
They’d had no restrictions on their time and could jump onto the next available flight to Da Nang, where they had now been for the past few days.
After the events of Ho Chi Minh City, Noa had been on edge around Alex.
She didn’t know how to act. She knew he and everyone around them had noticed it, but they had, luckily, given her space to figure it out.
She considered whether to acknowledge what had happened, but her head was honestly swimming with so many thoughts that she didn’t know what she would say or do if she did.
She had been jealous the night he flirted with the blonde in the bar, and she had accidentally let the mask fall.
He saw the jealousy and called her out on it.
She couldn’t take it back now. But did she like Alex Fletcher like that?
It all felt so messy and, despite how busy they’d been as they travelled through Da Nang and explored the huge city with all their new friends, she just couldn’t keep her mind from wandering to him. She needed to make sense of it.
She’d once thought she had feelings for him before.
However, that was back when she was twenty, and it all ended in a one-night stand followed by a very quick pros and cons list that resulted in her decision to make a pact to put the night behind them.
They swore that they would never think about it again.
But now, that’s all she could think about and, unlike back then, telling herself that this would only hurt Ryan and Alex in the long run was not enough to deter her from her thoughts of pouncing on the man.
What didn’t help is that, as if he knew something had shifted in her, Alex had been so kind and attentive over the past few days, and they had started getting a lot closer.
That, accompanied by the fact that they were both in Hoi An Old Town, in a longboat, sailing down the river as part of the lantern festival, was causing all kinds of crazy butterflies to set flight in her stomach.
They sat side by side in the wooden boat, an older Vietnamese woman rowing behind them.
The whole scene surrounding them was lit by so many different colours of lanterns.
They glowed in the dark night, and the gentle sway of the boat, along with the soft lapping of the water against the wood, made a sudden rush of emotions wash over her.
She had once dreamed of being here and sitting here now, with him, it felt so intimate.
Romantic almost. She felt so comfortable in his presence.
Neither of them felt the need to fill the comfortable silence with words as they sat and just enjoyed the perfect moment.
Noa came to realise that, somewhere along the line and without even knowing it, she had stopped trying to mess with Alex.
She’d lost sight of that. It no longer seemed important as she focussed on the pull that still existed between them instead.
She’d also lost sight of her need to put herself back together after her breakup, because she was never truly broken.
She never gave Lucas all her pieces in the first place, and that had made getting over him easier than she’d ever imagined.
And, here and now, she felt more whole than she’d ever felt.
She watched Alex from where he sat beside her. Thick stubble framed the quiet smile on his face. His hair was a perfect mess from the evening breeze. He was completely relaxed and entranced by the display around them, and Noa was entranced by him. She felt her chest squeeze.
Because it wasn’t the light display dancing across the water that had her unable to look away. Or the colourful buildings blanketed in ripe green leaves and pink-petaled flowers. It was him.
A lump formed in her throat as another realisation dawned on her: she had deep, messy feelings for her brother’s best friend. And, she thought, maybe she always had.
Ryan:
I want you to know I come in peace. My white flag is in the air, and I know I was in the wrong. Iam requesting forgiveness and a truce to be formally acknowledged in the family group chat. Let me know your terms…
Noa:
Oh dear, did Mum ground you again?
Ryan:
I am not a child!
But as good as. She cancelled family dinner this week after promising my favourite. So, let’s just say I have been fairly punished and lesson learnt.
Noa:
Ohhhh messing with you and your lasagna, she brought out the big guns.
Ryan:
So… we even?
Noa:
Nice try, but not even close!
Ryan:
Jeeeez, I had no idea Alex’s company was that hard to tolerate.
Noa:
If you think Alex is the only issue here, then we have bigger problems. Ryan, you interfered with something I specifically told you I wanted to do on my own. How do you think that makes me feel?
Ryan:
If I tell you some self-improvement will be done, will you forgive me?
Noa:
I’ll consider it.
Ryan:
[Sent Image]
Does this cure picture of me and Tinks help? I really think this animosity is getting to her.
Noa:
Maybe a little. Now don ‘t push it.
A fter her realisation about her unplanned and wholly unwanted feelings toward Alex, they spent two days in Hoi An taking part in numerous group activities, such as food tours and lantern-making, so Noa was able to continue ignoring them for the time being.
Putting them in a box and not dealing with them until later felt like the most sensible solution she had right now. The only solution .
Noa used any alone time that she had as an opportunity to bury her nose in her writing, and it was paying off. Turns out, a messy life makes for great inspiration. Who knew?
Today’s activity included Vietnamese cooking classes followed by a coconut boat trip down the river.
Whilst they were in the shuttle that had picked them up at the hostel, the heavens opened and water droplets attacked the bus from all directions. The grey sky proved there would be no let-up anytime soon, and Noa felt deflated that Mother Nature was plotting against her to try and ruin their day.
Her raincoat clung to her skin as they ran to take shelter in the bamboo hut that their class would be held in.
The temperature was significantly lower in Vietnam than it had been in Thailand and, even though it had been comfortable so far, her wet skin cooled her to the bone, causing her to shiver.
She suddenly wasn’t looking forward to the next four hours.
Despite them being warned at their hostel that there was the potential for a monsoon this week, Lola had insisted they still book the trip, adamant that they shouldn’t let something as unpredictable as weather make them waste their trip.
But, right now, as her matted hair stuck to her forehead and water droplets trailed down her face, she wished she hadn’t listened.
A sudden, welcome warmth crept up her back.
She wanted to lean into it, her eyes momentarily fluttering closed.
But when that same heat brushed across her neck and made it to the shell of her ear, that shiver was back.
The earthy scent of the coconut forest was replaced by notes of tobacco and vanilla, and Noa’s eyes flew open again.
‘We can go back, you know. I know this isn’t what you planned,’ a husky voice whispered in her ear.
His fingers came up to pull her jacket over her shoulder, where it had fallen down, and the brush of them against her arm sent a spark of electricity through her. Her body was a traitor. She couldn’t stop it from reacting to him.
She jumped forward then, like he had burned her, and, had she been watching from the outside, she would have found the whole scene overdramatic and comical.
Alex’s eyes widened, but then his expression softened like he understood her need to put space there, to find a way to dampen this attraction between them.
Like he understood her fears.
And he did.
Because, surely, he had the same ones that she did.
She was suddenly thrown into a memory from twelve years ago.
She’d known her and Alex had a special connection growing up, but she had always been Ryan’s little sister, a little too young for him, and anything beyond friends had felt out of reach.
He and Ryan loved tormenting her, scaring off any boys who looked her way.
And she had thought that was all it could be.
Until, when she turned sixteen, that two-year age gap suddenly didn’t seem like a barrier.
And neither had Ryan, until the night she had spiralled into a panic attack on the living room sofa and Alex had been there to comfort her.
It was the most intimate moment she had ever experienced with anyone, letting him see her in such a vulnerable state.
But she hadn’t felt any fear letting him see her that way.
She’d been so lost in that moment with him. He was all she saw, and it was on the tip of her tongue to ask if he’d ever seen her as more.
They sat close enough to share a whisper between them when Ryan had walked in.
He turned on his heel, claiming to have forgotten something in his room, and Alex had followed him.
To this day, Noa didn’t know if either of them knew that she, too, had followed and overheard the conversation that came next.
Ryan had asked Alex what he’d walked in on, and then warned him not to cross the line and make their friendship ‘weird’. Her heart had sunk. And she’d never forgotten it since. It had been on repeat in her mind the night they had indeed ‘crossed the line’ and why she’d panicked and withdrawn.
‘Noa?’