Chapter 32
Alex
A lex spent the last hour pacing up and down the beach trying to fight the intrusive thoughts trying to come to the surface.
Had she really just left like that? He’d thought they were having a moment.
The entire night had felt so perfect. They’d talked for hours.
She’d opened up to him in ways she never had before, and it made him want to do the same, to be vulnerable and put it all on the line, too.
But now, all he felt was overwhelming regret and unfiltered rage.
How had he so badly misread the situation? Why did he think this time would be any different? Why did he think she was any different?
The questions bounced around Alex’s head on repeat, and there was so many of them that he couldn’t sit still.
He scoffed to himself and kicked the sand like it had personally offended him.
There were no sounds on the beach but the rhythmic crashing of waves, the distant cries of birds, and the faint staccato chirping of cicadas.
Where the quiet had felt soothing earlier, it now felt deafening, allowing his thoughts to run wild.
He tried to tell himself that, maybe, it was too much too soon.
Maybe she had gotten overwhelmed, maybe he’d scared her.
She’d only just come out of a long relationship.
God, what was he thinking? He should have just kept his mouth shut.
As his thoughts started to spiral, he realised that maybe hers were doing the same.
Noa Drake was many things—beautiful, smart, stubborn, and a serial overthinker.
He knew well what being in your own head was like, and it could eat you alive at times if you allowed it to.
He didn’t ever want to be the reason she was struggling like that, so he turned and started to march quickly toward their cabins in the hopes that they could talk it out together.
But when Alex arrived at Noa’s cabin, she was nowhere to be seen.
Turning and glancing around, he spotted the dim lights coming from the shared bathroom a few huts down, but no noises were coming from inside.
He waited on Noa’s porch steps for ten minutes, but when she didn’t arrive back, he felt like invisible creepy crawlies had started to embed themselves under his skin. Something didn’t feel right.
He stood, dusting himself off, and then headed in the direction of the bathroom. Knocking, there was no reply, so he gently eased the door open and almost fell back at the sight before him .
Noa was slouched between the wall and the toilet, a deathly grey colour to her usually rosy cheeks.
Her eyes were closed, and for a minute, he wondered whether she was even conscious until a garbled groan escaped her lips and the fear gripping his chest loosened.
God, he’d been so busy thinking the worst and she was in here, sick and alone.
She was shivering despite the humidity on the island.
He pressed his palm to her clammy forehead.
‘Shit, Noa, you’re burning up.’
Her eyes fluttered open, but only for a brief second before she spoke. Her voice was so small it was barely audible.
‘I think I ate something and I…’
Before she could finish her sentence, she was back over the toilet bowl, emptying her stomach, letting out small whimpers as she went. Noa had practically inhaled a vegetable stew at dinner and, trying to run through the evening in his head, he hadn’t seen anyone else so much as touch it.
Damn it .
Between every retch came soft sobs that threatened to rip his chest clean open.
He’d never seen her this vulnerable, and the thought of her being sick made a knot form in his stomach.
He frantically wracked his brain for what his mum used to do for him when he was sick, then dropped to his knees beside her, gently rubbing circles into her back with one hand and holding the hair from her face with the other.
Once she’d finished, her entire body went limp as she slid back onto the toilet floor. Finding a wash-cloth in her mess of toiletries he dampened it with cold water, running it across the fevered skin of her arms, neck, and face.
‘Please, Alex. I don’t want you here. I’m gross. I don’t want you to see me like this.’
Her voice was hoarse and weak .
Alex sighed and slowly rose from where he was crouched next to her.
He left the room for a few moments, jogging back to his hut.
When he returned to her side, her face morphed into a shocked expression.
He knew he should be offended, but he realised, maybe, she just wasn’t used to someone looking after her the way she should be, and the thought enraged him.
He quickly tried to squash that thought and focus on nothing but the sick girl in front of him.
Looking down at her, he made sure to soften his tone before he spoke, ‘You thought you could get rid of me that easily, Trouble? Not a chance.’
He passed her the bottle of water he’d gone to retrieve and with shaky limbs, she reached out to him, accepting the water.
Every protective instinct in him was on high alert in that moment, and he was trying to keep his own anxieties at bay and just focus on making sure she was okay.
She remained slumped there, making no attempt to drink the water her body so desperately needed.
‘Drink.’
His commanding tone left no room for argument and, in her current state, all traces of Noa’s feisty and usually stubborn personality were nowhere to be seen.
She took small, slow sips. Alex’s shoulders fell a little as he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.
‘Good girl,’ he coaxed. ‘Keep going.’
He used his hand to smooth down her hair, encouraging her to let him take care of her in that moment.
She looked up at him like she wanted to argue, and he didn’t know whether it was her lack of energy or that she’d seen in his eyes how much he needed this, but all protests died on her tongue and she continued to drink.
He needed to take care of her, and the relief he felt that she wasn’t fighting him on it immediately washed over him.
They sat like that for a while, the two of them on the bathroom floor side by side, the room barely big enough for them both.
Noa’s eyelids began to flutter open and shut, like the effort to stay awake was too much.
Taking her tiny, clammy hand in his, Alex started rubbing soft soothing circles on her wrist.
After a while, her breaths became shallow and her head lolled onto his shoulder.
His heart twisted. She looked so peaceful, but her face was still pale and her wispy hair clung to her sweat-coated skin.
There was a furrow to her brows that he wanted to press his thumb between until he smoothed out the creases.
Slowly and careful not to wake her, Alex lifted her to his chest with one hand behind her back and the other under her knees.
She was so soft, warm, and pliable like this.
Even sick, he couldn’t help but notice how well she fit there in his arms. He carried her the few short steps to her room and placed her down on the bed, stroking the top of her head and watching her sleep like a creeper.
He couldn’t bring himself to care, though.
The need for her to be okay was overwhelming.
Soft snores escaped her lips, and he just smiled down at her, continuing the massage through her sweat-soaked hair. Soon, though, she started to stir.
‘Shhhh, baby. Go back to sleep. You’re okay. I’ve got you.’
And he meant every word.
Unable to fit beside Noa in the single bed, and fear gripping him at the thought of leaving her alone, Alex slowly lifted her head, resting it back on his lap as he used the wall to lean against. Muttering something indecipherable in her slumberous state, she nuzzled into him like, even sick, she too, couldn’t get close enough.
Resting his hand on her chest so he could feel the steady rise and fall for reassurance, he remained right there.
Late into the night, sleep finally took him.