Epilogue
Noa
N oa had been lost in deep pools of blue for the last hour as she gazed into the most perfect eyes she had ever seen.
Any love she thought she knew seemed so incomparable right now as she held her daughter in her arms, including her love for Alex.
It wasn’t less than, just different. Like seeing your heart physically living outside of your chest.
The intensity of this love she now knew threatened to tear her apart but, luckily, she had the man of her dreams holding her together. Both physically and emotionally.
Noa inhaled Leyla’s perfect baby smell, wanting to remember every minute detail of this moment forever.
A rainy beach scene still played across the ceiling of their bedroom, the relaxing sound of waves, mixed with Tinks’ purrs, acting as background noise, just like it had throughout labour.
Alex had been the best birthing partner, guiding her through her breathing with each contraction, rubbing her back and whispering positive affirmations, just like they’d practiced at their home birth evening.
Now, he held her in his warm embrace as she cradled their tiny human, one who was a perfect mix of the both of them, in her arms.
‘I was praying she’d have your eyes,’ he cooed at her.
The way he’d fussed over her since the second she made her entrance into this world just over an hour ago was almost too much for her heart to take.
‘You do know lots of babies have blue eyes, right? I’m still praying for your amber ones,’ Noa said, turning her head to look up at him.
Alex’s face was cast in the flickering light of the projector, highlighting every familiar feature, his amber eyes glowing warmer.
Her love for him had grown and reshaped itself again and again over the last nine months, until it became as much a part of her as the lungs that gave her breath.
And since holding their baby girl in their arms, her heart ached with the depth that love had taken.
‘Well, she is perfect no matter what, and I will spend my every breath making sure that she knows it.’
‘I have no doubt,’ Noa whispered.
The look of pride and devotion she saw swimming in his eyes as he stared at her caught her off guard. She still struggled to believe that the thing she had been missing from her life for all those years had been there all along.
‘What? ’
‘I am so proud of you. You absolutely kicked labour’s ass, and you are a natural with her,’ he responded, stroking his hands reverently through her hair.
Noa had struggled a lot through her pregnancy.
First with morning sickness, which did not only happen in the mornings, and then as her body had started to change.
She’d struggled to feel confident in her new and changing body.
She had also struggled when that motherly bond people said she would feel as she felt her baby grew did not arrive.
But now, looking at her darling girl, she wondered why she had ever worried.
But like Alex always did, because he knew her every insecurity, he soothed her worries without her even having to say a word.
He’d even been the one to research home birth in the first place. He’d found leaflets and told her that the experience could not only optimise oxytocin, but that staying in their safe space, where they could have the privacy they were getting now, could help them bond with their baby girl.
As they continued to sit, silently observing their daughter Leyla, Noa felt like she was in a blissful bubble.
One they’d created. The flat they’d soon filled with Noa’s collection of books and trinkets, now felt like home.
Tinks remained curled up at the bottom of the bed, tired after spending the whole night by Noa’s side through her labour. Forever Noa’s comfort animal.
Her soft half-purrs, half-snores mixed with their birth playlist now, and Noa felt a deep sense of belonging and purpose. One she’d found in the family she had created.
Their photos that now hung on the walls were filled with the memories they’d made on their travels and in the months since.
They felt like a promise of the future to come, and she imagined the ones they would add: photos of Leyla’s first birthday, family Christmases, and the holidays they’d promised they’d take.
Alex caressed her arm, catching her attention again before he spoke, ‘Remember that list of yours?’
Noa had let all thoughts of her ‘30 before 30’ list slip from her mind over recent months. The whole thing seemed unnecessary now. She looked up at Alex, confusion likely clear on her face.
‘Well, you did say you wanted to give Tinks another sibling. This is probably not the kind you had in mind when you wrote it, but you are forever the overachiever.’
She laughed.
‘I forgot all about that.’
In her arms, Leyla made a content gurgling sound and Noa wanted to bottle up the feeling forever. Nothing could make this moment better. She felt like she was flying high in the clouds and never wanted to come down.
‘Well, I didn’t. Hey, why don’t you pull it out now so we can see if you’ve managed to do everything on there…’
‘It hardly matters now. We have more important things to focus on,’ she said, kissing her daughters head and breathing in that indescribable baby smell.
‘Humour me.’
With a huff she pulled out her phone, where her list was now kept on a shared note that they could both access. When she found out she was pregnant, Alex suggested setting it to share so that he could help her finish it before she had Leyla.
As she opened the note, Alex insisted she read it out loud to him.
So, she began doing just that. She didn’t remember adding the last few things on the list, so it looked like Alex had done it for her.
As she finally got to number thirty, her eyes widened and her mouth fell open as her head flew up to gawk at him.
He was smiling as he said, ‘Go on. Read it.’
Noa could barely see through tear-filled eyes, something that had not gotten any better through the pregnancy. Her words were shaky and barely audible.
‘N… number thi… thirty,’ she started, clearing her throat to remove the huge lump that seemed to be growing there. ‘M… marry Alex.’
She looked up at him then and, without her knowing, he had quietly retreated from the bed next to her and was now on his knees, a red, velvet box in his hand.
‘Noa Drake, you have owned my heart since the moment you walked into my life as a sassy and dorky teenager with the biggest stubborn streak I have ever known. Our journey may not have been the most straightforward, and we may have been too stupid to see what was right in front of us for the longest time, but I wouldn’t change a thing if it would get me right here, now.
You have given me the greatest gift in life, and I will live the rest of mine working to be worthy of the love of my girls.
You are everything I have ever wanted but couldn’t have dreamed of having, and I would be the happiest man on this earth if you would agree to be mine. Forever.’
Noa let out a sob, lost for words. She wouldn’t change a thing either, because she was wrong when she thought nothing could make this moment better, because this moment right now was perfect.
She could not love this man any more than she did, and she knew that she would love him until her dying breath.
She nodded frantically, using her one free hand to grab his shirt, pulling him up from the floor and into her until his lips crashed to hers, passionately kissing her hard enough she was sure her lips would bruise.
She pulled away, looking at him breathless.
‘Of course, I’ll marry you, because forever isn’t long enough.’
THE END