Chapter 27
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
PRESTON
Unexpected phone calls always set Preston off this way. Ever since his mom. His father had called him while Preston had been walking to class. He hadn’t had a meltdown, not until that night, though Dani seethed later, unable to believe “that jackass” hadn’t called someone at the school, to be there to tell him in person, to take him back to his apartment. Preston had dropped his phone. Watched it fall toward the pale concrete path across the humanities quad, time seeming to slow, to stretch into a clear line marking the before and after of learning what he’d lost. He’d made all the arrangements—the funeral and flowers and emailing his professors that he’d be finishing his degree online—on the shattered screen.
Now Preston’s anxiety flooded through him as he raced toward downtown, looking for his sister and trying not to think about Harmony. Even before he’d jumped on his bike, his pulse had been speeding. He was worried for Lacey, no time to be upset for himself. He shouldn’t even be that angry. Only at himself, for being foolish enough to believe any of this could actually have happened to him for real. For thinking anyone, let alone Harmony, could have felt enough for him to barge into his life like she had, forget sticking around.
Why would Harmony bother, though, once he’d signed that lease? He coasted a moment, a sick dread falling through him. He’d never seen Harmony look like that. Defeated. Small. He’d never heard her sound like that, her voice broken.
But it was an act, right? It had to be. Right? Because she’d seemed heartbroken, and he knew, he knew , no one could love him like that.
He swung around the corner toward the greenbelt path he always took with Lacey, away from traffic. No sign of her.
Even before he’d found out Harmony had been lying, he’d known they were only short-term. And even if she had been sincere in her feelings for him, she still had to go or risk being arrested. Of course she did. One way or another, everyone left.
He’d reached the center of downtown and scoured each bench, the gazebo, the patio of the ice cream shop, for Lacey. Where would she go? Her bike wasn’t outside the library. It was going to get dark soon. He chose a street and kept going.
Was Harmony already driving out of town? If she was in danger of arrest, she should go. He’d meant it that he needed her to leave. That had been half his panic back there, that he wanted her to go and be safe as much as he wanted her to stay and be who she’d said.
The whole way home from the hotel, and after, he’d wanted so badly for Harmony to explain it all away. He’d even waited to call or text, not wanting to interrupt her important meeting if it all turned out to be a misunderstanding. Mind churning, he’d gone through chores on autopilot, sure that with enough time things would settle into some shape that made sense.
But they didn’t, and she hadn’t. There was no escaping the truth, that she had only been here as part of a con, and that he had monumentally fucked up by thinking he might have actually found someone, even for a short time, and having her around Lacey.
Who had heard something about Harmony’s lies and run away and what if something happened to her? He’d only just started letting her ride around the neighborhood on her own, not because of her own lack of skills, but because sometimes people were shit and thought it was funny to take advantage of autistic kids and fuck maybe he’d better call Dani.
He pulled over to the sidewalk and dug out his phone. He was too hurried to text, but she didn’t pick up. He left a message. “Hey, Lacey got upset and took off. Not sure where she went, but can you keep an eye out, maybe drive down your road in case she’s headed out there?”
“Mr. Jones!”
He spun at his name. Across the street and halfway down the block, Jordan was standing and waving, next to a bench outside the smoothie shop, where Nina sat—beside Lacey.
A wave of relief hit him. “Never mind, found her. Call you later.”
He swung off his bike, left it against a tree with his helmet swinging from its handlebar, and jaywalked over to the girls. “Hey,” he said to Lacey, who was holding a small smoothie cup with a bright pink straw. “I wasn’t sure where you were.”
Nina looked from Lacey to him. “She was stopped here and seemed kind of upset, so we thought we’d better hang out with her. Bought her a smoothie.”
“Thank you. That was very kind of you.”
Nina knocked her own cup against Lacey’s in a little toast. “No problem.”
“Yeah,” Jordan said, “we all have to watch out for each other, right? Like Ms. Hale did for us.”
The relief of knowing Lacey was okay receded, leaving behind all the pain of the last few hours. He really wanted to go home. “Lace, you want to take that smoothie to go?”
She nodded, but her face screwed up with concern. “Am I in trouble?”
“No, Lace Face. I understand.” He was the one who needed to apologize to her. At home.
Nina sighed and stood. “I have to get home too.” She tossed her cup in a recycling bin. “My parents think I’m at prom committee. Which they already told me I can’t go to with Jordan.”
“Hang in there,” Preston told her, trying not to sound too bleak, as Lacey got her bike. “I did the countdown to college thing too.”
“Pfft, I won’t survive senior year in that house. The second I turn eighteen in September I am out of there.” She slipped her hand into Jordan’s. “Mr. and Mrs. DaCosta say I can stay with them. If I do make it into Berkeley, I plan to major in crushing student loans. But sometimes you just have to make a break for it, right, Lacey?”
Lacey shot a finger gun at her, and both girls did them back. It was all Preston could do as they rode home to hold it together a little longer. Back at the house, the empty drive, with no ridiculous red car parked there, looked bereft. He must not have been hiding his distress as well as he’d hoped, because before he could even sit Lacey down to talk, as they came through the front door, she asked, “Are you sure I’m not in trouble?”
He set down her smoothie and dumped his keys and phone. “We need to talk about going places without telling anyone, if you’re going to bike on your own. But you’re not in trouble.”
Lacey’s hands twisted into the sleeves of her hoodie. “But everyone’s mad.”
Preston sat on the sofa, eye level with his sister. “Hey, remember when we talked about how people being upset around you doesn’t always mean they’re upset with you? This is one of those times. I’m sorry if you heard something that made you sad or scared. We can talk about that if you want?”
She sat at the other end of the couch. “Is Harmony in trouble?”
He took a deep breath before saying, “Maybe.”
“Why?”
“She made some mistakes.”
Lacey scrunched her mouth to one side, considering. “Is Harmony a liar?”
“Yes.” He swallowed.
“So do you hate her now?”
“No.” The word was out before he could think, but it felt true. “No, I don’t hate her. You don’t stop caring about people just because they make mistakes. I want to be sure you know that.” Because Preston could shield Lacey from their father’s parenting, but not from knowing he’d given up custody and refused visitation. “No matter what, I’m going to be here for you, okay? I love you.”
Lacey was fiddling with the drawstring of her hoodie. “Do you love Harmony?”
A dark feeling spread through his chest, like sticky tar, making it hard to breathe. He shoved it down, down. Rubbed a palm along the arm of the couch, right near where Harmony had leaned this afternoon. All he could finally say, fully aware of what a hypocritical asshole it made him, was, “It’s complicated.”
He kept holding it together as best he could through dinner, and a quick text session with Dani reassuring her about his earlier voicemail, and Lacey’s piano practice, because he thought sticking to their routine would be good for both of them. He would go back to that, his straightforward schedule of afternoons and evenings full of piano lessons, long days at the library as long as they let him, running Lacey to class and sessions, pretending being busy all the time meant he didn’t ever feel empty. Telling himself trying for anything more was foolish for someone like him.
Lacey went up to bed, leaving him at the piano, alone, again. He dragged himself to his feet, too ready for this day to be over. As he switched off the lights, he noticed a pillow on the couch had tumbled over, from when he’d sat there with Lacey. The red stain of Harmony’s lipstick burned into his vision. He hadn’t ever tried to wash it off.
Preston grabbed the pillow and threw it across the room.
He was a liar. Because like he always said, it wasn’t complicated at all. He did nothing halfway. He still loved Harmony with his entire, broken heart.