Chapter 5
Thirty-eight days had passed. The midwife had clothing, coloring books, and crayons sent to me that same day she saw me, the day I tried to escape.
No one else other than Quinnlyn had entered the room since that day, and Quinnlyn and I hadn’t spoken about it again.
I didn’t try it again, but then again, he was more cautious around me.
My meals had changed to include larger meat proportions, and more protein-type snacks were brought in.
A few days later, she sent books and a small television with a VHS player.
It sat on the floor, plugged into the one outlet that was in the room.
I drew a calendar on the back of the last coloring page.
Each day, I’d mark off another day. Not only was I keeping track of the days, but I was also keeping track of my pregnancy.
It was September twenty-fifth, making me exactly thirteen weeks.
One of the books she sent was What to Expect When You’re Expecting.
I read almost every page of it. Hitting thirteen weeks meant I was now in my second trimester.
The point at which the risk of miscarriage went down.
My stomach was mostly flat, although sometimes I looked a little bloated—not really pregnant. I hadn’t felt any movement, but the book said that it probably wouldn’t happen for another several weeks.
Each day had been the same. Quinnlyn brought me breakfast to start his babysitting shift.
He said very little to me. I’d eat whatever they brought in.
It wasn’t for me—it was for this baby I was carrying.
I might not make it out of this cell, but this baby would, and I needed to give it the best chance at life.
After breakfast, I’d either read something from one of the books I had or color. Once I got bored, I’d watch one of the VHS tapes that were in the room. Most of them I’d watched a few times. The Lion King, Mrs. Doubtfire, and Forrest Gump were among my favorites.
After about two weeks of watching those, Quinnlyn brought more options in.
I was pretty sure he’d gotten tired of hearing me say, “My mama always said, 'Life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get,'” and “Lieutenant Dan!” in the voice of Forrest Gump. It didn’t stop me, though, just made me randomly say more movie quotes.
Around midday, footsteps came down the hall, and Quinnlyn brought lunch. The evenings followed the same pattern—after supper, he'd swap out with the night guard. I tried to interact with them, but they ignored me. On occasion, they would look in through the bars.
I’d cried less over the last few weeks, but I still missed my family. I even missed my mom. I’d catch myself daydreaming about the day I’d see Aspen’s little face again, about her running and jumping into my arms. My brother and me holding each other so hard we couldn’t breathe.
A single knock landed on the door, breaking my trance.
Batman was playing, but I was in my own head.
I watched it so many times before I was trapped in this cell, and then it was one of the tapes he’d brought me.
He only knocked when food was coming up the hall, but he’d brought me breakfast not long before.
I could hear chatter coming near. I immediately stood up and pressed my back against the wall.
Whoever brought food had never talked. They walked down the hall, and then footsteps walked away—that wasn’t what this was.
As they got closer, I recognized the voice of the midwife who had seen me weeks prior.
The door opened, and she came in. Unlike the last time, only she entered the room. I stood frozen against the wall. I decided that I’d be quiet and compliant if anyone came in here. Fighting them got me nowhere, except with a gash on my forehead and being dragged back to the cell by my hair.
“How are you feeling?” she asked.
I shrugged my shoulders.
“May I check your vitals? Listen to the baby?” she said.
I nodded. I tried not to get excited at the thought of hearing the baby.
Part of me was excited, but also terrified.
What if we couldn’t hear the heartbeat? I tried to distance my emotions from the baby.
I knew that they would separate us as soon as I delivered, and I was trying to prepare myself mentally.
I walked to the bed and sat down. She sat down next to me, took my blood pressure, and listened to my chest.
“Can you lie down?” she asked me.
I spun to the side and laid flat on the mattress.
“Your blood pressure is still a little high, but it’s not worse. Have they been treating you okay in here?” she asked.
I nodded.
“You’re quiet, unlike the first time we met.”
“Nothing to say,” I finally told her.
“I’m going to lift your shirt, alright?”
“Okay.”
“The gel will be a little cold on your belly,” she said as she squeezed a small amount of gel on my lower stomach.
A tiny gasp escaped from me. It felt like an ice cube had hit my stomach.
She put the wand onto my stomach and gently pressed in.
She turned the dial on top of it. The small machine in her hand made a static noise at first, before making swishing noises.
She moved the wand all around my stomach before moving it even lower.
Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.
The fast-thumping noise poured out of the speaker.
“That’s your baby,” she whispered.
A teardrop fell down my cheek. She held the Doppler in place as the thumping filled the small room.
“One hundred and fifty-six,” she said.
“Is that good?” I asked her.
“It’s perfect,” she said.
She pulled the wand from my stomach, wiped the gel away with a paper towel, and tucked the machine back into her bag.
“Is there anything I can do for you?” she asked.
“Let me go home,” I whispered.
Her lips pursed, her eyes dropped.
“You know I can’t do that,” she whispered back.
“Then no. I’ve been getting food and water. Every few days, they walk me to another cell that has a shower. It’s better than nothing, I s’pose.”
“I’ll be back in a few more weeks to check on you. I need to figure out a way for you to get an ultrasound in a couple of months,” she said.
I simply nodded at her.
She gathered her things, stood, and went to knock. A moment later it opened and she was gone. Whoever had accompanied her trailed down the hall, and eventually, Batman was the only sound left in the room.
“I’m Batman!” I called out the line right along with the movie.
“And I’m the Joker…” Quinnlyn said from outside the door, in the flattest voice.
“Just so you know, any movie you bring me, I’ll watch over and over and randomly say lines from it,” I said.
“Something I’ve learned,” he said, “I was thinking Bambi next.”
My body froze. I went back to the day I tried escaping, when he kept calling me a doe—a deer—and seemed to enjoy hunting me through the dark halls. I laid back on the bed and continued watching the movie without saying another word.
“So no Bambi?” he asked, after a few minutes.
“Leave me alone,” I said.
“Oh, how the tables have turned, but I’ll happily take your quietness,” he said.
Voices outside the room startled me awake. I hadn’t realized I’d fallen back to sleep, but it was the norm these days, watching television and sleeping. My eyes struggled to open. Batman had just gone off, and the credits were playing on the screen.
“Why are you—No, how are you down here?” Quinnlyn said, his voice lowered, but not low enough.
“They can’t watch me every second of every day, and why can’t I see her?” a voice I knew said—Daxyn.
I jumped up, ran to the door, and wrapped my hands around the bars.
“Daxyn?” I asked.
“Zay!” he said.
“Your father has me locked in here—”
“I know,” he said, and he sighed heavily. “Please let me in there, I won’t tell him or anyone that you did. No one should be coming anyway, since the midwife already came, and I have Zay’s lunch.”
“Fine,” Quinnlyn said, “but I swear to fucking God, Dax, I’m not going down for any more of your bullshit.”
The door handle jangled, and then he pushed it open.
As soon as our eyes met, his eyes dropped, his brow furrowed.
He pushed the door closed behind him. I stared at him, unsure what to say or do, before he pulled me into his arms and squeezed me tightly.
He let go, his hands clasped around my upper arms, before pulling his upper body back, looking my whole body over.
“Let’s go sit—”
“No, help me get out of here!” I said.
“I can’t—”
“You can’t? Or you won’t?” I cut him off.
“Both. I can’t defy an order—”
“Yet it sounded like you did, to be in here right now,” I said.
“This won’t get me killed. That would,” he said.
“I don’t understand…” I said softly.
“Let’s sit down,” he said, then grabbed my hand and pulled me to the mattress.
I was trying to hold back the sobs that threatened to come. I’d done a lot of that since being locked away.
“I never wanted any of this to happen. I never thought my father would resort to any of this.”
“Why is he keeping me here?” I asked, tears rolling down my cheeks.
“Because of what I’m—”
“Dax!” Quinnlyn said sternly.
“What are you?” I whispered.
“It’s complicated, and it may sound a little too crazy,” he said.
“Shut. The. Fuck. Up,” Quinnlyn said.
“Would you mind your own business?” I yelled at him.
Daxyn’s eyes narrowed at me, as if he couldn’t believe I’d yell at Quinnlyn that way. I’d gotten brazen with him over the last month. I may not have found a way out of here, but I’d learned his weakness—he didn't want to harm me.
“You are my business,” he said.
“Whatever,” I said, before locking my eyes on Daxyn. “Just tell me,” I whispered.
“I… I… can’t. I want to, I do, but you’re already in enough harm's way,” he said.
“Thank you!” Quinnlyn yelled out.
“I thought we were friends,” I said, recalling all the times we’d hung out.
“We are,” he said.
“No, no, we’re not. When we stood on my lawn, and I told you I was pregnant, you said you didn’t care and that I should get rid of it,” I said, anger lacing my voice.
“I know… I know what I said. I was in shock. I was never supposed to have children. Then there you were, insisting that you got pregnant from the one time we hooked up.”
“One time is all it takes, and for the record, pretty sure it happened multiple times that night.”
“Yeah… except when I was younger, something happened, and it was said that I’d more than likely not be able to have kids,” he said.
“Well, I reckon they were wrong, because the one thing I’m sure of is that it’s yours,” I said.
“I know it’s mine…” he said, his head dropped, looking between us, instead of at me.
“And yet you’re okay with me being held against my will in this cell, the future mother of the only child you may ever have?” I said.
“I’m not okay with any of this,” he said.
“Then help me get the hell out of here,” I said.
“I know they won’t let you go, but I’m trying to plead with them to let you stay in the house with me.”
“Daxyn, I need to go home. Aspen—”
“Is fine,” he said.
My breath hitched. “What… what… what do you mean? You’ve seen her?”
“I’ve checked in. Obviously, she misses you, and they are all worried about where you have been—”
“Of course, they don’t know you’re involved in this,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“I’m not exactly involved,” he said.
“Whatever makes you feel better about this,” I said.
“Look, I know you miss her, and they miss you, but I know my father won’t let you go, especially now, but he may be willing to let you come to the house if you agree to follow the rules,” he said.
“I’ve been following the rules down—”
“You tried to escape and busted his head—” he nodded toward the door, “—open.”
“How did you—?”
“I helped him,” he said, his eyes dropping between us again.
“Why has it taken you this long to see me?”
“My father forbade me from coming down here and has given me meaningless tasks that have kept me from being near here. The kitchen person is new and didn’t realize who I was when I said I was there to deliver lunch.
I’d been waiting days for him to bring the midwife here for a visit, knowing that it would be unlikely for anyone to come down here other than for food or the night guard,” he said.
“All to come here to say you can’t help me? What’s the point?” I asked.
“I wanted to actually see you, not hear Quinnlyn’s bullshit lie that you were okay. We may not have been close, but we were friends who got a little too drunk and had an evening of fun. I don’t regret it, but I wish it hadn’t put either of us in this position,” he said.
“What about this baby?” I said.
“I don’t know. I haven’t fully processed that part,” he said, eyes dropped back down between us.
His guilty tell.
“Love that for you. While you have been out there doing who knows what. I’ve been in here against my will, reading pregnancy books. Preparing myself to give birth to a child, that your father has made clear he will rip from my arms as soon as it’s born,” I said.
“I’m sorry, I’m trying—”
“Time’s up!” Quinnlyn yelled, cutting Daxyn off.
“I didn’t know there was a time,” he grumbled.
“Yeah, well, there is,” Quinnlyn said.
“Why are you being a hardass? No one even comes down here or to this cellar?” Daxyn said.
“Because someone could come or see you leave here. Either way, I’m not about to catch hell for it,” Quinnlyn said.
“You’ve always been a buzzkill,” Daxyn said, before turning to me. “I’m gonna try and do what I can to get you out of here.”
“Yeah… okay,” I said. Part of me didn’t believe him. The way he treated me the day I told him left a sour taste in my mouth.
He stood up and went to the door. Quinnlyn opened it and came in, handing me my food, as Daxyn walked out.
Quinnlyn’s jaw was clenched, eyes narrowed.
He locked eyes with me for a brief moment before walking out and shutting the door behind him.
Lunch was grilled chicken strips, a spoonful of egg salad, and a bowl of mixed fruit.
“Why isn’t he allowed to see me?” I asked in between bites.
“Because his father doesn’t trust him not to do something stupid,” he replied.
“Like what?”
“Try to break you out, make you promises that won’t ever happen. Dax is always doing something impulsive.”
“So, me going to the house probably won’t happen?”
“Unlikely. Now eat,” he said.
I finished eating my food before putting the trash on the ground next to the door.
I sat back on my bed and started reading one of the books the midwife had sent.
It was a fiction book about werewolves terrorizing a small town in Maine.
I was only a few chapters in, but so far it seemed to be a good read.
In the mix of books, it was the only fiction book she sent.
Something about it left me curious as to why she chose that one.