Chapter 18
Lina and I spent hours putting together the tree, stringing lights all around, and adding ornaments. Throughout the evening, howls were heard all around the cabin. She left around midnight, and I finally climbed into bed. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I fell asleep quickly.
My eyes fluttered open. I’d never get used to waking up to the smell of bacon. The room was bright from the morning sun. I had slept in much longer than I normally did. I climbed out of bed and walked into the hallway.
The smell of coffee hit my nose. It was different from what I’d usually smelled before.
Stronger. Nuttier. I also smelled bacon and ham.
My eyes drifted to the Christmas tree that sat in the corner of the living room, near the fireplace.
I tilted my head slightly. Three presents.
As I rounded the corner, Quinn was standing in the kitchen.
He stirred a pot of grits while loading plates.
It smelled so good in here. My mouth instantly watered.
“Merry Christmas, Zay,” he said.
“Merry Christmas, Quinn,” I told him.
“I’ve made a hearty breakfast and chicory coffee,” he said.
“You’re still hungry after… hunting,” I said.
“No hunting occurred,” he said flatly.
He pulled bacon from the pan and handed me a plate. There were hot grits, a buttery biscuit, a slice of bacon, a half slice of ham, and scrambled eggs. My stomach rumbled in response to the smell of food hitting my nose. We both sat down at the table and ate quietly for several minutes.
“There are presents under the tree,” I said.
“Yes, for you. It’s Christmas after all,” he said.
“I didn’t get you anything, though,” I said, my eyes dropping to my plate.
“And?”
“I feel weird getting gifts without giving them.”
“Don’t. I don’t need them,” he said.
“As I don’t need them either.”
“It’s not anything lavish. Christmas was huge for your family, you deserve to have a little slice of that,” he said.
“I guess.”
He finished before I did and started washing the dishes. Once I finished, I walked over to the sink, plate in my hand. He reached for it. I didn’t have it in me to argue. Not today. Today was meant to be a joyous day.
“Go. Sit down,” he said sharply.
“Yes, daddy,” I said, teasing him.
His head turned to me so quickly.
“Nope. Nope. We are not doing that,” he said. The laughter rolled out of me. That reaction was a chef’s kiss, and I’d absolutely be doing that again.
I walked to the chair and sat down. Within a few seconds, he was at the tree, grabbing the presents. He handed me the smaller one first. I gently pulled the paper back.
A journal.
The front of it had a beautiful sunset with geese silhouettes flying. I opened it up to flip through it. On the first page, something was written. I stopped reading it a couple of times, thumbing my finger over the writing.
For when the grief feels too heavy to say, write it. -Quinn
A single tear rolled down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away. Nope. No tears today.
“Appreciate you,” I said quietly.
He gave me a gentle smile before handing me another present.
I gently opened it. As soon as my eyes locked with the little eyes staring back at me, tears escaped before I could control them.
It was a ten-by-thirteen close-up picture of Aspen.
She was smiling, with big blue eyes staring back at me.
Her hair looked blonder than when I last saw her.
“How’d you get this?” I asked.
“I had Callie get it and mail it here,” he said.
“You planned this? For me?”
“I knew you were missing her. I know it doesn’t replace holding her, but it’s a reminder to keep fighting to live,” he said.
“I don’t know how to thank you, truly,” I said. “I’m afraid of what the other present is.”
“Ha. I got the emotional ones out of the way. This one shouldn’t elicit tears,” he said.
“Alright, let’s have it then,” I said. I was still clutching the picture in my hands.
The remaining present was a larger box. He gently placed it on my lap.
I tore the wrapping paper free and opened the box.
There was a nice pair of Nike running shoes.
They were white with teal accent ovals and a purple Nike symbol on the sides.
Size eight and a half. The size I needed. Exactly what I needed.
Under the shoes was something thick and black. I pulled the shoes out and grabbed it. They were sparring gloves. I held them up.
“Oh?” I looked at him.
“You said you wanted to train… I prefer you have better shoes and protection for your knuckles,” he said.
“Oh, okay. Appreciate you, I’m sure they will feel much better running in than these larger ones.”
“Did you have a good night with Lina?” he asked, after a few moments of silence.
“Yeah, we had a really great time. I think she might have shared some trade secrets,” I said, before flashing him a little smile.
“Ohhhh boy. What did my dear Titi blab about?”
“I’m honestly too embarrassed to repeat any of it,” I said, my cheeks burning, eyes in my lap.
He gulped so hard. My eyes shot up and stared at him.
“Yeah… exactly,” I said.
“I’m… well… I can’t believe she told you that,” he said.
“Well, she didn’t tell me everything. Said something about mating and binding, but she didn’t explain that,” I told him.
“Oh…” he said.
“What is binding? I mean, I assume I know what mating is,” I asked.
His eyes got even larger. “Nope. We are not doing that either.”
“Aw, ruining all the fun this morning,” I teased.
“How about we go for a run?” he asked.
“Together?”
“Well… you’ll be running, and I’ll be running separately. I was thinking we could go down the dirt road, change up the scenery. Break in those new shoes,” he said.
“I ‘spose we can do that,” I told him.
We cleaned up breakfast and did the dishes. Then we headed outside. Normally, I’d be walking or running to check on the eaglets, but instead, we headed down the dirt road. It felt much longer running it instead of driving it.
“Faster, Zalayuh,” he called out from behind me.
“Ya know I’m out of shape,” I said in between breaths.
“Well, a wolf is chasing you, and you need to run faster,” he said, closer to me than he was seconds ago.
I sucked in a breath and demanded my legs to go faster.
“Better, but I’m still right behind you,” he said, and he was. He was right on my heels.
“I don’t think I’ll ever outrun you or a wolf,” I said. I could feel his presence right behind me.
“No, you won't, but you have to try,” he said. His breath hit my neck, and goosebumps popped up all over my arms.
Focus, Zalayuh, focus. Run faster. I had it in me.
I pulled a little ahead, but only for a second.
I quickly weaved to the right. He picked up and got right behind me.
I stopped, and he ran into my back. I threw a punch to the stomach and then darted back toward the house.
It only stalled him for a few seconds. He was right back on my tail.
“Low blow, Zalayuh,” he whispered in my ear. Chills ran down my spine.
I forced my legs to go as fast as I could.
Once he would get close to me, I’d weave to the right and then back to the left.
It worked for the most part, leaving him a couple of steps behind me.
Once we made it back to the house, my breathing was ragged.
I bent over trying to catch my breath. He walked past me and into the house.
I felt like I couldn't catch my breath, and my tongue was dry as sandpaper. He wasn’t gone long before his feet came back into my view.
“Here,” he said. “Water.”
I gasped for air and reached my hand out, grabbing the glass. I swallowed down the water in between my heavy breathing.
“You’re right, you are out of shape, but you’re also quite fast.”
After several minutes, I was finally able to breathe normally again. I drank the entire glass of water.
“I don’t think I like running with you,” I said.
“Too bad… I quite enjoyed it,” he said.
“Well… now I need a shower,” I said, ignoring his comment.
“I thought you wanted to train?” he said.
“Isn’t that what we were doing?”
“No. We’re warming up. You’re catching your breath, and now we’re gonna get even sweatier,” he said, flashing me a smile.
“Okay… I did ask for this,” I said.
“Remember that in thirty minutes,” he said. He walked over to his truck and grabbed a large blue mat. My head tilted.
“Where did that come from?” I shot out.
“I went and grabbed it from my uncle's early this morning.”
“I didn’t hear you even leave,” I said.
“You went to bed much later than normal, too,” he said.
“Yeah… I guess.”
“Alright, I figured we could practice outside if it’s not too cold. If not, we can move the chairs to the kitchen.”
“Okay… and what exactly are we doing?” I asked.
“I’m gonna lay this out, and well, today, you’re gonna show me what you got,” he said.
“As long as you don’t laugh at me,” I told him.
“Never. You’re standing here asking to learn. That’s more than most people. Now go get your gloves,” he said.
He dragged the mat to the grassier part of the yard.
I walked inside and grabbed the gloves from the box that sat atop my bed.
The picture of Aspen lay next to it. I paused for a moment and stared at her.
That ache in my chest hit me hard. I wanted to hold her as much as I wanted to hold Izayuh.
I reached behind my neck and unclasped the necklace.
I didn’t want it to get broken and lose him for good. That thought was unbearable.
He was standing on the mat outside, bouncing on his bare feet. He’d taken his shirt off. I paused on the porch.
I gulped.
Nope.