Chapter 19
It had been almost two weeks since Christmas, and almost a full month since the birth of Izayuh.
Our days ran together. We spent our mornings running either on the road or alongside the river.
Then he taught me self-defense, or let me take my anger out on him.
He taught me how to stand properly and how to hold my hands correctly.
My endurance was getting better every day.
Tonight was a full moon. It was the first full moon since Izayuh’s birth.
The last few days, Quinn had been snappy.
We didn’t wrestle this morning. All I could think about was what Lina said about him being lustful, and how my smell made that worse.
The last couple of days, he seemed to keep his distance from me.
I’d go to the river, and he would go back to the house.
He spent more time in the woods exploring than at the house.
Part of me didn’t mind. The tension between us had been building, something I was denying to myself. I told myself every night that I didn’t like him. I couldn’t like him. I needed to focus on myself. Remember the times he was an ass to me.
The sun started to drop in the sky, which meant he would be leaving for the evening.
He offered to take me to Lina’s home this evening, but I declined.
While I was nervous the last time, I had peace in my chest about it today.
I’d planned to read a new book I’d picked up, as well as do more journaling.
I was sitting in the chair reading when he came inside.
“I’m… heading into the woods, Zay,” he said.
“Have…fun… I guess,” I told him.
“There is nothing fun about being forced into a wolf,” he said, then he walked out.
I read my book for a long while, until my stomach started rumbling. I got up and decided to make myself a sandwich.
Awoooooo. Awoooooo.
Ring.
Ring.
What in the world? First, he was howling, and then someone was calling. I set the butter knife down and answered the phone.
“Hello?” I said.
“Evening, Zay,” Lina said.
“Hi, Lina,” I said.
“How are ya this evening?”
“I’m making myself a sandwich right now.”
“How are you feeling?”
“I’m good, I’ll be okay,” I told her.
“Ya can call me if you need, okay?” she said.
“I know. I’m gonna eat, read some more, and then head to bed,” I said.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Lina asked.
“Yeah… yeah. I was nervous last time, but I feel good about being alone this time.”
“Well, if you need anything, you have my number,” she said.
“I know, and I’ll call if I need you,” I said, then the line clicked.
I went back to making my sandwich. I sat down and finished it, with my book lying open on the table beside me. I was hooked on this romance story. Once I was done, I cleaned my plate and curled up into the chair with my book.
Awooooooo.
I lowered the book and looked around. He sounded right outside the cabin. I looked at the clock. Twelve-ten. Shit. I hadn't realized how many hours had passed. I finished the chapter I was on, folded the corner of the page, marking my place. I curled into bed and fell right to sleep.
My dreams were restless. I dreamed about wolves and home and Brenden. I missed home and my friends. Something woke me. Dishes clinked around in the kitchen. I made my way out there. Quinn was standing next to the counter, spreading jam on a biscuit.
“How was your evening?” I asked.
“Not great…” he said, his voice low.
“Oh…” I walked to the counter, standing next to him. “What happened?”
“Nothing,” he said flatly.
“Hmm… it definitely wasn’t nothing,” I said.
“Zalayuh, I don’t want to fucking talk about it,” he said.
“You don’t want to talk about anything!” I shouted.
He turned toward me. “It’s complicated.”
“You always fucking say that too!”
He growled. “Because it is!”
“No, it’s really not. Just tell me! I’m not fucking fragile,” I shouted.
“Yeah, ya are,” he muttered.
“I’m leaving. It’s time for me to go home! I’m healed and—”
“No! You’re not!” he shouted.
“YES! I am. You said I’m not a prisoner, remember!”
“You’re not ready!”
I didn’t answer him, just turned around and headed for the door.
“Zalayuh!” he shouted from behind me.
I kept walking. I opened and then shut the door behind me. As soon as it clicked shut, I took off running into the woods. I didn’t know where I was going. I could run into town and call someone. Brenden. He would find a way to get me.
“Zalayuh, are you seriously running from me?” he called out.
I started running faster, weaving in and out. I doubled back and rubbed myself against a tree trunk. I ran circles around the tree, then ran back to where I came from. He taught me that wolves use scent to track.
“I taught you better than this, my little doe,” he said.
Anger surged through me, driving me to run faster. Leaves crunched close behind me. I darted back toward the river.
“I thought I was free!” I yelled back at him.
He didn’t say anything, but I kept running, until my shoes hit the riverbank. I turned and ran. I knew he was close. Rocks crunched from downstream.
“The thing is, I always find my prey,” he called out.
I turned a sharp left and climbed up the bank and back into the woods.
Mew. Mew. Mew.
The sound caught my attention, and I froze in my tracks. It was high-pitched and something I hadn't heard before.
Yow. Yow. Yow.
I stopped and looked around. Was he making noises to fuck with me?
Mew. Mew. Mew.
I jogged toward where I thought the noise was coming from.
Mew.
I looked down. Something moved in the leaves. I knelt on the ground. There was a kitten. Its eyes were still shut. I scooped it up into my arms and held it close to my chest. I looked all around the woods. I didn’t see any—
Except Quinn walking toward me.
His brows were narrowed. “I thought your endurance was better than that.”
I ignored him. I held the little grey and black-striped kitten to my chest. It was cold. It stopped crying when I picked it up. Its little ears were barely there, small points.
Oh shit.
It was a bobcat kitten.
I frantically looked around. Its mother had to be somewhere. Leaves crunched as he neared me.
“Get up and fucking run!” he yelled.
“That might just turn you on,” I called back. My eyes were still scanning the ground.
“Just as much as you sweat,” he said.
He got closer, but I wasn’t running. I was trying to save the baby in my arms, except I didn’t know what to do.
“Any chance you smell a bobcat out here?” I asked.
“What are you on about?” he said.
“You can hear just fine,” I snarkily said. He was nearly on top of me.
“Well… I do smell something, now that you asked,” he said.
“Like a big mama smell, perhaps?” I asked.
I was pissed at him, but I needed him right now. I could be pissed at him once we found the mother.
“I don’t know if it’s adult or not. What the hell are you doing?” he asked.
He was standing right behind me, so I spun around to face him.
“What the fuck is that?” he shot out.
“I’m pretty sure your eyes work well,” I said.
“Okay, smart ass. I see a fucking kitten,” he said.
“Yeah, and it's alone. No mama in sight. It’s cold and hungry,” I said.
“Put it back down… nature sucks,” he said.
“No! I’m not gonna just let it die!” I shouted. “We need to find its mother.”
I stood, holding the little kitten to my chest. I started walking, staring at the ground for any clues.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m looking for its mom,” I said.
“No point,” he muttered.
“What?”
“Stop looking, Zalayuh!” he grumbled.
“Why? It needs food!”
“I’m pretty certain I killed its mother last night,” he muttered.
“You did what?” I yelled.
“It attacked me first… to be fair,” he said.
I grumbled under my breath and turned to walk toward the house. There was no point in looking for its mother. I stomped through the leaves.
“I didn’t know there was a baby!” he yelled.
“You just fucking love torturing new moms, huh?” I said.
“I didn’t torture you!” he yelled.
“You held me captive. Hell, you’re still holding me captive. Your little plaything!” I screamed.
“Far from my little plaything, because if you were…”
“If I were, what?”
“Nothing,” he muttered.
“There you go again… beating around the damn bush,” I said.
“There is no damn point…”
“Yeah… yeah… complicated. I’m so fragile… blah, blah, blah,” I said.
“What is your plan with that damn kitten?” he asked.
We had almost made it back to the cabin.
“I don’t know yet… keep it?” I said.
“No. No. No. Absolutely not,” he said.
“It doesn’t have a mom, Quinn. Am I supposed to just throw it out into the woods and let it die?”
“Yes!” he said.
“No! I’m not letting another baby die!” I said.
“Zay, this is not Izayuh. This is a wild animal. A cat,” he said.
“You don’t like cats?” I asked.
“No,” he said.
“Fucking cliché.”