21. The Countdown Begins
The Countdown Begins
Evangeline
I don’t know why I agreed to this.
Everyone is watching me.
My head swims, and the urge to run heightens.
Alpha Cassius.
He is the reason I’m doing this, and I am doing this.
Day 1 of 182. I can do this.
Fuck.
I cannot do this.
I shake my head, trying to rid the negativity, but it’s hard. My whole body aches from being so rigid, and I don’t know what to do with myself. Everyone here is friends, and I’m all alone. The walls are closing in on me, and I can’t stop moving. At least I’m halfway through my first full day.
Only half way.
No. No brain. Think of something else.
What to do? What to do?
A giggle from down the long corridor snaps my attention back to reality, and a large group walks towards me. Smiles wide on their faces. Panic takes over, and with my eyes squeezed shut, I dive into the nearest room and hope that it’s empty.
Deep breath in. Hold. Deep breath out. Hold.
Slowly, I open my eyes. No one is around for my freak out, thankfully. The shiny surface of the kitchen counter reflects the light.
With little thought, I pull out ingredients. The clock ticks softly, and my gaze locks onto it. I have a little over an hour before my next class. Plenty of time to whip up something delicious.
The baking section glares at me, mocking me.
I am not a good baker. I wish I were. I can cook, but baking is another skill entirely. Somehow I always mess up a step. These brilliant ideas form in my mind, and I can’t wait to make them a reality, but they never turn out how they are supposed to.
Fuck it.
I pack it all back up and storm over there. This time I am going to bake, and it’s going to go well. I could keep it simple, give myself a fighting chance at least, but I’m nothing if not overly confident with absolutely no reason or evidence that I should be.
With all the grace of a newborn deer, I stumble around the kitchen, trying to make something edible rather than just a mess.
Flour coats the surface after I lose the battle to keep it in the mixer, and somehow there is egg in my hair.
But the batter is thick and glossy (at least I’m doing something right).
The worst part of baking is that by the time I have finished, I have no desire to eat what I have created.
Baked goods are made to be shared, gifted, and enjoyed with others.
I have no problems when it comes to eating what I cook.
Maybe it’s because cooking is one of those things that gets me out of my head: the order, the creativity.
Simplicity through structure and a reward at the end.
Baking is chaos. You blink wrong and suddenly the soft and gooey chocolate chip cookies you were making become brown puddles (no, I am not speaking from experience). Liar.
The timer dings, and I rush over to pull the muffins from the oven.
They look perfect.
Domed and golden brown, with perfect crispy crumble pieces on top.
Maybe I could bring them to my next class. I have to see them every day, all day, from now on. Maybe a little treat will stop them from staring at me.
I drizzle the caramel on top as a little finishing touch. They look amazing, if I do say so myself. Caramel apple crumble muffins. Who could hate that?
The clock mocks me from the corner of my eye. It’s time to go. The little corner of peace I have carved out for myself is over.
I rush to clean, refusing to leave the room a mess despite the lack of time I have to do so. But if I ever need to come back here, I don’t want to risk upsetting the staff. I sweep, mop, stack dishes in the dishwasher, and put back everything I used.
I should do this for Alpha Cassius. I bet he would eat whatever I bake. From the way he stocks his fridge, I can tell he loves eating as much as I do. Auggie isn’t big on sweet things. I’m hoping that isn’t an Alpha thing.
With my arms full of muffins, I race to class.
I’m early. No teacher, no students. Just me and my muffins. I place them down at the front and dig through my bag for a notepad. The only one I have is a pastel purple with little flowers crawling up the side, but I doubt anyone has paid enough attention to me to know it’s mine.
I scrawl a note telling the class to enjoy and take my usual seat at the back.
My phone buzzes softly in my pocket, and I can’t help the spark of light that pings inside my brain at the thought of it being him.
Lila: Hey, girl! Did you get your Alpha yet?
Disappointment tries to worm its way into my heart, but the spark stays alive. I have a friend.
Students begin to gather in the room, wandering over to the pile of muffins and chatting around them. I quickly fire off a reply that yes, I did, but that it’s complicated and I’ll fill her in later. I watch them with eager eyes. They like them.
Hiding my smile, I gather my notebook and textbook for the class, preferring to write than type on a tablet like some of the other students.
“Welcome to ‘Mated Etiquette’. Some of you have been in this class for a few weeks now. Others are new faces. We will be going over what you can expect from society, your Alpha or Pack, and yourself when you mate. All of you have taken a step forward in your relationships and will soon be mated. Life will change. I’m here to make it as easy and seamless as possible.
” The relatively young Omega beams at the front of the room, her mating bite proudly on display.
She moves, beginning to write on the board, but pauses and grabs a muffin, sliding across her desk before continuing.
I like her already.
“While the class wasn’t full, we went over questions and concerns that the students had.
We try to keep the classes small for this kind of thing so everyone gets a chance to participate, but now that you are all here we can begin.
If you want to see what we have been talking about, it’s all online and I will send you the link to the folder after class—”
There are about ten of us sprawled around the room. No cliques, no groups gossiping. Everyone has their eyes locked on the teacher, ready to take notes. I guess we are all feeling more lost than we would like to admit.
Maybe I’m more like them than I thought.
“—first, when you are bitten, you will experience a rush of memories and emotions from your partner. This can be disorientating and before you ask, no, you cannot predict what will be shared nor hide memories. These memories usually bring the couple or pack closer together, sharing what needs to be shared so they better understand each other.”
Wow… I really need to disclose a few things before that happens.
“You will then experience what is considered a short heat. If you have not already experienced one, then please let me know and I can do a full class on what to expect. But this will last no more than 72 hours. During this time, you might feel the desire to bite your partner in return. It is important if you are mating an Alpha that you ask before you bite. The act can cause a rush of emotions and even induce rut. A rut is similar in ways to heat. However, we will focus on that in the coming weeks.”
My head already hurts from the sheer amount of information I’m taking in.
Heat.
I’ve only had one. It was painful and scary.
I was alone in my shed, and even curled in my nest, I didn’t feel safe.
Every noise made me jump. I don’t know how long it lasted, but it had to have been days.
Auggie told me that he came to me on the first night, but he couldn’t get near me without me screaming in pain.
He spent days sat outside guarding my shed.
Even though I wasn’t aware of it, I’m glad he was there to watch over me.
I was dehydrated and starving when I came to.
I held Auggie for hours and cried tears I couldn’t afford to lose.
I hope mating is better than that.
A girl in the front row shoots her hand up.
“Do you have to get bitten on your scent gland?”
We all raise our heads, listening attentively for an answer.
“No. You will feel a pull to where your bite needs to go. Do not be worried about voicing this. Your partner will feel the same pull, especially if you are scent matches. My friend, for example, has her mating bite on her shoulder. There is no wrong way to mate. Alphas tend to be more territorial. Bear in mind that if you choose to be bitten else where they will still mark you for others to see.”
My scent gland tingles, and I know for sure I want it there.
The thought of his canines digging into my skin, leaving their mark where everyone can see, makes my whole body feel aflame. I have never been so glad I wear scent deodorisers. The last thing I need is to be known as the horny girl as well as the weirdo in the back of the class.
“After you have mated, you will feel heightened emotionally. This can last months. During this time you will feel drawn to your mate and often feel extreme sadness when alone. Your nest will be your best friend. You might find yourself sleeping more. Your body will be craving rest. Be kind to yourself. Your support system at this time is key. If you have an Omega parent, friends or siblings, they might be the only people your Alpha feels comfortable being around you.”
I hope Alpha Cassius is okay with Auggie being around me. He might be an Alpha and technically unrelated to me, but he is my only family.
“Matings can be private or public, but they are all the same when you look at what is required. A mating is the process of an Omega being bitten and claimed. That is all. If you choose to do this publicly, your friends and family will be there to watch. An officiant will lead you, whether you use the traditional vows or your own. Once you have been bitten, instinct will take over. A private mating can involve the same steps but without the officiant and witnesses, or can be completely unique to you. Remember, if you mate privately, to register the mating with the Alpha Council—”
I can’t imagine how anyone could want a public mating. It’s so personal and vulnerable.
“—after you are mated, your legal guardian becomes your Alpha. If you are mated to a pack with multiple Alphas, as a pack you must pick a head Alpha and register this with the Alpha Council. If you do not mate an Alpha, you can keep your current guardian, or you can register to be assigned an Alpha with the Alpha Council. Due to the new laws. After you mate, whether your guardian changes or not, the new Mating Department will assign you a caseworker. This caseworker will randomly visit and assess your mating and your Alpha guardian.”
The class shares a look of fear, eyes darting to one another. My hands twist in my lap. The Alpha Council is already opposed to my mating, and now they want to be more involved in my relationship? When will they leave us alone?
“Class, calm. This is not something to fear. They are there to help. It is a system in place to help Omegas in abusive situations get the help they need. They will not interfere unnecessarily.” Her tone is soothing and honest.
“I myself had a check in with my caseworker last week. They asked some questions, wanted to see my nest and asked me to project a couple of feelings. It is very similar to the Omega evaluation you all had when you were thirteen.”
Collectively, we sigh with relief.
I have had countless ‘evaluations’. Every family that fostered me wanted proof that I was broken and not their home. It wasn’t too bad. As a child who didn’t feel like a good Omega, being given a grade made it more real.
Plus, I aced them.
The class continues, and the amount of information I have could fill a book. I can’t believe there are weeks more of content to learn. How much will change after I mate?
My head is swimming by the time the bell rings. The urge to run off to my shed is becoming more and more enticing. The halls blend together: the movement, the noise, and the scents of students.
Finally, the cold air hits me, and the world slows back down.
I did it. I stayed for the whole day.
Maybe I can do this.
My legs move under me and I mindlessly wander in the direction of home. A guttering growl of an engine hums behind me, and I turn. The familiar bike slows to a stop next to me.
Smoke.
He came for me.