39. TruthTruth
Truth or Truth
Present Day
They were the voices. My instincts. They’ve been keeping me safe all this time. Warning me when things were dangerous, when people wanted to hurt me. That feeling, the pressure in my head telling me to run, to fight. It was them.
All this time.
The thought chokes me. Tears slide down my face, and I bury myself in their scent.
I pull it deep inside me.
I don’t think they would be happy to know that their voices guide me to kill Alphas, but I know, and that’s a comfort in itself.
“You found me. I’m safe now.”
My mother’s hand strokes down my back, and my father pets my hair.
Nothing has changed. Yet everything is different. I let myself sit in the moment. Mourning the girl I could have been if I had stayed with them.
But it was always meant to be this way, as painful as it sounds. I was meant to be this Evangeline. The darkness inside me is what brought me to Cassius. I wouldn’t trade any other existence for this one if it meant I would be without him.
I pull away, needing space to breathe. They spare a pained look at each other. Maybe because I pulled away, maybe because I’m alive, I’ll never know.
I force a smile onto my face. It feels weak. But it’s better than nothing.
“Can we sit?”
“Yes. Yes, let’s sit.” My mother responds, wrapping her arm around my father’s shoulder, supporting him as we move further into the apartment.
I force myself onto a chair, rather than the floor, needing to appear at least somewhat normal.
Apollo runs over. He jumps and tucks himself into my lap. Well, his head anyway, though given the chance I know the giant lapdog would try to fit his entire body on my knees.
“Is that dog wearing a glittered collar with spikes on it?” My father points, eyes wide with curiosity.
“And painted nails. Dog safe, obviously.” I respond excitedly.
“Why?” my mother asks.
I stare, cocking my head to the side.
“Because I love him.”
Is there any other reason?
Cas snorts behind his hand, covering it up with a well-timed cough.
I pet a hand over Apollo’s head and scratch my nails down his spine, the way he likes.
He settles deeper into my lap, the weight of his head pushing down my thighs, keeping me in place.
I can’t help but think he’s been trained for this.
Cassius seems to like the weighted blanket a little too much. I can see him turning Apollo into one.
It’s working, though. I would never move while this perfect baby is resting on me.
“You’re in Finishing School?”
My mother’s voice cuts through the silence of the room and the chaos of my thoughts.
“Most of the time.”
My father’s scent peaks with interest, and rosemary floods my senses.
“I thought all Omegas had to be in Finishing School now?”
“They do. I’m special.”
“Eva has an agreement with the Council. She was studying mostly from home before the new law. Now she is enrolled full time, though she doesn’t have to live on campus.”
A very good diplomatic answer from Auggie. I couldn’t have worded it better myself. I would have told them the truth. That I’m a flight risk and have a hobby of collecting Alpha’s lives. Better that I stay silent.
“And how did you two meet? Through the courting program at school?”
“No, I stalked him while he went on dates with other Omegas.”
My mother chokes on her water, coughing and sputtering. My father giggles but bites his lip, forcing himself silent.
See. I knew I should have stayed quiet. Lila is right. I have no filter.
I’m still mad about him going on those dates.
Cas sends me a look which tells me he knows what I’m thinking, and I know I’ll pay for that later. Though his ‘lessons’ usually end up with his mouth on my pussy, so I think I can take it.
Don’t think about pussy while your parents are here, brain!
“I’m sorry. What?” She asks once she regains her breath.
This might be one of those times Lila was talking about. When it’s necessary to lie to a parent. Not that I’ve had much experience lying to Auggie. If anything, he wishes I would lie to him more often.
How do I explain that I found my scent match while stalking another Alpha and was too scared to approach him?
“I knew my scent match was out there somewhere. I looked everywhere and applied to the Courting program at Eva’s school.
She found me before I had a chance to be matched with her, but she was a little shy at first and instead of approaching me, she watched me.
I wish she had come to me right away, but I truly believe that we were brought together at exactly the right time,” Cassius says.
Not an outright lie. Brilliantly done.
He smiles brightly, my bite proudly on display on his neck. My parents coo over the story and I swear I watch my father melt a little. Such a romantic.
“It was love at first sight,” I add.
I may have had a knife to his throat, but I did love doing it, so I’m not outright lying. I’m learning.
The room lapses into silence, and I hate it. I knew I would be a disappointment.
I jump out of the chair, causing Apollo to wake up. He’s on alert immediately, standing guard by my side.
“I’m going to make tea. Does everyone want tea? Great. I’ll get right on that.”
The words spew out of my mouth like vomit, and I can’t stop them. All I know is that I cannot sit in this room any longer, lying and hiding who I am.
The familiar kitchen greets me, the surface gleaming and shiny, and the knowledge that the cupboards and fridge are always stocked with everything I could ever crave.
I let the water heat and move around with very little direction.
Apollo stands loyally by my side, his tail thumping on the tile, letting me know he has not left.
I don’t want tea. It’s disgusting. Only second to coffee. Why would I choose bean water or leaf water when I could have delicious hot chocolate?
I dig out my phone and dial. The call connects on the second ring, but I don’t wait for Lila to talk.
“Lila. It’s a disaster.”
“Are they terrible? Do you need help hiding their bodies?”
“No. I’m terrible. I can’t keep a conversation going for the life of me, and everything is awkward and painful.” I cry out dramatically.
I sink to the cold floor, my head slumping back, thumping off the cabinet door. Lila murmurs on the other end, and a familiar voice echoes through.
“Alpha Harriet?” I ask.
“No. No. Ha. Who is that? It’s just me,” Lila says.
Lying through her teeth. I knew those two would get along.
“Ask her how she got along with them?” I poke.
The phone goes quiet, only the soft sound of fabric muffling the speaker.
“She said that they were really nervous and probably feel more awkward than you do. I think they’re intimidated by your brilliance. You could be honest, put everything out in the open. If they accept you great, if not, my previous offer stands.”
“So you are with Alpha Harriet.”
Got you.
“…You’re a real bitch, you know that,” she laughs.
“You too.”
“But seriously. Stop hiding. Go back out there and show them the same Omega that ripped her own clothes in a rainstorm and ran into a feral Alpha’s house and saved a little boy.”
She’s right. I’m strong. I’m capable.
“Right. I can do this!”
I get off the floor and shake out my limbs.
I’m going back in there.
“Maybe don’t actually rip your clothes off, though.” She adds.
“No. Right, yeah, of course. Good clarification. Say goodbye to Alpha Harriet for me.”
“I have no idea what you are talking about.”
I straighten my spine and stand tall. Each step brings me greater clarity. I have friends. I have a mate and a family. They all love me. My parents can too.
Everyone turns to look at me as I enter. But I refuse to back out now. Lila is right. Where is that impulsive Omega, the risk taker? Where is that confidence now?
“I did stalk Cas. I broke into his home and redecorated and watched him while he was on dates because the Council decided I wasn’t allowed to court or have a mate.
I found out about him because I used to work for the Council and I liked breaking into their offices and annoying them.
Cas’s brother works there, and that’s how I scented him for the first time.
” I take a deep breath and continue. “I worked with the Council because I’ve killed Alphas before.
Not just when I escaped from being scent trafficked, but other times. And I’ll probably do it again.”
There. That’s everything. If they decide I’m not the daughter they want, then so be it.
They stare at me. Processing what I’ve said. Every word making its way through their brain as they try to figure out who is standing in front of them.
Their daughter? Or a stranger?
“And you’re okay with this?” my mother directs at Cassius.
“Yes.”
No more, no less. Just certainty.
Cas isn’t one to explain himself or his decisions to others.
“And you’ll make sure she’s safe and doesn’t get hurt by this?” my father asks.
“Always,” my mate growls.
“Good. Or we would have insisted she come home with us.”
Smiles break across their faces, and they light up.
My father takes my hand, looking into my eyes.
“Thank you for telling us. We want you. Not who you think we want. You are our daughter, and we cannot wait to get to know you. This is the first thing you’ve said that has felt real.”
I let out a sigh of relief and actually feel my bones sink deeper into my body, the tension I was holding onto leaving.
I can finally be myself.
“Now. Can either one of you bake, because I suck and I need advice.”
* * *
I squeeze Auggie into a hug that I never want to end. His whiskey scent reminding me that I had a home, a family, even before I had parents.
“Are you happy?” He asks.
“Happy?” I nod. “But—I think I love you more? Does that make me a bad person?”
After my outburst of a confession, things got better.
A lot better. My father’s dry, sarcastic humour had me drying my eyes more than once, and my mother seems blessed with not just a beautiful outside but a brilliant mind.
She’s incredibly smart, and talking to her pulled at my need to understand the world around me.
By the time they left, I felt like I fit in with society a little more.
But it’s nothing compared to the sense of security and love that Auggie gives me.
“No.”
Good, I don’t feel like a bad person.
“You don’t have to pick who you love more, though I think your mate might have something to say about that,” he nudges me with a laugh.
“You don’t have to love everyone the same way.
There’s a thousand ways to love a person.
I raised you. I was there when you felt like you were alone.
I love you because you are my daughter. They love you because they made you and you are more than they ever imagined you would become. ”
“You’re pretty sappy when you want to be.”
He narrows his eyes and glares at me. A playful, sweet candy scent wraps around us.
“Well, I’ve been watching Nested, and it’s clearly a bad influence on me. I need to go hunt or fish, really get attuned with my Alpha emotionally constipated thoughts.”
I practically pounce on him, bouncing up and down, shaking him by the shoulders.
“You’ve been watching it! Really! Tell me everything.” I demand.
“That mother of Omega Skylar is a real piece of work, isn’t she?”
I slide off the sofa onto the floor, keeping my eyes locked on Auggie, afraid if I look away this conversation might end.
Best day ever!
“I hate her. After everything he’s been through and she’s trying to set him up on dates again.”
“Honestly, if I were him, I would date. Just to get away from her.”
I cannot believe he is actually talking to me about this.
Pinch me.
“And the diary thing?” I sneer.
“Maybe it’s the Alpha in me, but I would have at least punched her for that. What kind of mother tells their child to write a diary about the worst time of their lives so they can read it out loud to the whole world?”
“Oh no, it’s not just you. I wanted to punch her too.”
“You’re going to need to catch me up. What’s up with the family fortune? They keep mentioning it, but no one is really saying anything.”
He’s hooked. I knew it would happen, eventually.
“Okay, so for that, we need to go back to season 5—”
I go on to give him the lore, seasons’ worth.
At some point, a hot chocolate appears in my hand, but I’m so focused on my story and the timeline that I don’t remember drinking it.
We talk for hours, gossiping and spewing facts about people we are never going to meet, like we could personally make a difference to their lives.
Horrified and shocked don’t cover the emotional roller-coaster Auggie goes through learning about these people. With a promise to watch the next episode together, we slip into a comfortable silence. The setting sun casting an orange glow through the windows.
That’s one thing I actually like about this apartment. The view is something else.
“Eva?”
“Yes?”
“What do you want to do with your life? So much has changed lately. Before, you were just surviving and trying to stay out of trouble. Now, you have a mate, you’ve been going to school and you have your family back. What do you want to do?”
He’s right.
I have a mate.
And a family.
The Council can do as they please but they can’t change that. I’ll graduate from finishing school and I’ll be like every other Omega.
“I—I don’t know.”
He shuffles onto the floor next to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and tucking me into his side like he used to do when I was young and the voices in my head got too loud.
“You’ll figure it out.”
* * *
“What should I do with my life?”
“What?”
After Auggie left, the thought has been swirling around in my mind and I can’t let go of it. I always thought of the world and my role in it as what I was allowed to do. But now I can do anything. And I’m scared.
“Auggie asked me today what I want to do with my life, and I don’t know.” I stress.
Cassius looks down at me from my curled up position between his outstretched legs.
“I can’t decide that for you, Angel.” He gives me a sad smile, though I bet he does want to decide for me. Controlling bastard.
“But I can promise you I will support you every step of the way.”
Meaningless words that don’t help me at all.
I roll onto my front, lying my head on his lower stomach.
“So if I wanted to keep killing Alphas?”
“Then I need to get the cleaners to clean the floor better because as much as I like you sitting under my desk rather than on the perfectly good chair at your own desk. I can’t actually remember the last time those floors were cleaned properly.”
The floors are oddly sticky in some places. Though with a building full of mostly Alphas, I prefer not to think about that.
“If I never want to work again?”
“Then you will be the best stay at home dog mum to ever exist.”
I can’t help but giggle.
“I don’t know,” I sigh.
“You don’t have to have it all figured out the second someone asks. You’re young, and you’ve hardly had a chance to live freely with the Council up your arse.”
“You really think I’ll figure it out?” I peer up at him, watching his face for any sign of a lie.
“I promise you will.”
Fuck.
He means it.