Chapter 25
I walk into Plant Daddy and Kai is busy transforming the place from late summer paradise to early November fall fantasy. Artfully placed limbs of brightly colored leaves adorn the window facing the street. Across the cafe vibrant sunflowers, dark purple sweet potato vines, and ivory and rust mums, infuse autumn color into the usual greenery. I say hello to Damola who waves at me and bounces his head along to some beat coming in from his headphones. I nod to Angelika who is in the middle of a reading with a woman with straight black hair who is weeping into a cup of tea as Angelika pats her on the back.
Rajesh has become a regular with his new girlfriend Jessica, an equally shy blond girl with thick glasses. They always sit at a booth in the corner so they can hold hands as they study. I notice Kai has made sure there are always a few tall snake plants near the table for privacy.
My mother spots me before I’m even able to put down my bag.
‘Pumpkin Pie, how did it go?’ she shouts from across the room. Everyone in line turns to see who in the world could be called that name. I’m sure they are expecting an orange cat but it’s just me. I see her finish a drink and then ask Maggie something. Maggie nods which is my mother’s cue to come out from behind the counter and sit next to me. Line of early-morning commuters be dammed.
‘I want to hear everything,’ she says, handing me a mug with a perfect spiral of whipped cream and chocolate and orange sprinkles. She sits down next to me.
‘Is this a bribe?’
‘It’s a Mocha Salted Pumpkin Dulce de Leche latte with extra sprinkles. Call it what you want.’ I take a sip and enjoy the super sweet mix of flavors.
‘How did speed dating go? Tell me. The Wedding is just a month away and you’ve rejected every wonderful candidate I’ve brought you. If I have to put up with your horrible Aunt Mary telling me how she wishes you would find someone special in that condescending tone, I will throw myself on the wedding cake no matter how much I like your sweet cousin Ziggy.’
‘Mom, Ziggy doesn’t care if I have a date or not. He’s already agreed to let us bring Omar and whoever we want to be at our table.’
‘But won’t it be more fun with someone special? Now tell me all about it. How many guys did you meet and did you get their social media names? I want to weed out the wackos.’
‘Present company excepted.’ I nod toward her.
‘I’m not sure if you mean you or me but I don’t think either of us are wackos or maybe we both are so the statement is moot.’
A few people come in and pass by our table. They must be regulars because my mom greets each of them by name and tells them to let her know if Maggie needs help.
‘Sure thing, Glory,’ a tall guy in a thick flannel shirt says.
‘See you later, Glory,’ his companion in a similar flannel says and they head to the counter.
‘Who the hell is Glory?’ I ask.
She straightens her blouse and adjusts the multi-colored scarf she is wearing around her neck. ‘Me, of course. I’m Glory.’
‘Since when?’
‘Since I had a wonderful conversation with Kai.’ She glances toward the back of the cafe where Kai is carefully trimming a bonsai. He notices her, puts down his clippers and gives her a small wave and a big smile. She raises her hand and closes her fingers to her palm a few times to wave back. ‘You know he chose the name Kai after his transition. It’s such a beautiful name. He says there is no reason I couldn’t change my name if I wanted to.’ She looks at Kai again and I notice her eyes soften. ‘I’ve always hated the name Gloria. Blech. It’s such an old-lady name.’
‘But you are an old lady,’ I remind her.
‘Please, you’re much more of an old lady than I am,’ she fires back. She’s not wrong.
‘I withdraw the accusation.’ We tease each other all the time, so I know she isn’t offended, and I’m not either. She does seem very happy with her new name.
‘The name Glory suits me much better, don’t you think?’
‘As a matter of fact, I do. It suits you perfectly.’
‘It’s never too late to become who you were always meant to be.’ I disagree with her, but I don’t want to get into it. ‘Who did you match at speed dating?’ she asks. She has a remarkable ability to stay on message.
‘No one,’ I say despite the fact that I woke up this morning thinking about my conversation with Finn at the event.
‘What?’ she asks loud enough so that everyone turns to look at her except Maggie, who I’m sure is acclimated to my mother’s outbursts. ‘How is that possible? There had to be at least a hundred people going in there on Sunday. Some of them were very handsome. Alright, I saw one guy wearing a beret. That’s a deal breaker. Even I can’t put up with a beret. But that was only one out of so many. Are you sure?’ She looks me in the eye like she knows I’m fibbing.
‘How do you know how many people there were? And how do you know someone was wearing a beret?’
‘I was there, of course. I mean, not inside the actual room. That would be butting in and I would never do that.’
‘Oh, no, not you,’ I say as sarcastically as humanly possible.
‘It’s still a free country the last time I checked, Sam. A human being can hang out on a street corner across from a gay speed dating event and tag each of the participants if she wants to,’ she says like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
‘Tag the participants? They aren’t birds migrating for the winter. You do not need to tag anyone.’
‘I saw a lot of very interesting folk. Surely there was at least one who caught your eye?’
Then the one who caught my eye walks in. Finn opens the door and looks over his green-tinted aviator glasses to survey the room before making an entrance. He doesn’t have to do much to have every single person in the cafe turn their attention to him.
My mother jumps up from her seat and waves. ‘Yoo-hoo,’ she sings. ‘Over here.’
‘Mom do not call him over here,’ I say hiding my mouth with my hand. She ignores me. Finn walks over and kisses her on both cheeks. It’s clear she has already gotten her claws into him.
‘Hi, Glory. Good morning, Sam,’ he says. I wave hello. I’m not sure what to say.
‘How did it go at speed dating?’ she asks him. ‘Did you get any great matches?’
‘Mom, do you really need to interfere in Finn’s life too? Isn’t trying to destroy mine keeping you busy enough?’
‘Sam,’ my mother sighs. ‘Finn is new to New York. He’s looking to meet people. And I’ll add, it took very little convincing with him. Unlike some people, Finn knows a good thing when it’s staring him in the face.’
Is that what she thinks my problem is? I know she thinks something in me must be broken but I’ve never been exactly sure what she thinks it is. It’s got to be more than just my hair and how I dress.
‘Finn, word on the street is that a lot of people wrote down your number but you only wrote down one.’ She fluffs her curly hair with one hand.
‘Word on the street?’ I repeat. ‘What’s that supposed to mean? Are you telling us that there’s a buzz across New York City about a speed dating event at a dive bar in Brooklyn? I find that hard to believe.’
‘I may or may not have been texting with Clams.’ She grins.
‘What? How do you know Clams?’ I ask.
‘Pumpkin Pie,’ she starts and I shudder a bit being called that in front of Finn. It’s embarrassing. ‘When two people are in the same business, they tend to know each other. We’re both matchmakers. Of course we know each other. Clams is a lovely person and Kai used to date a member of the Giblet Triplets.’
‘Mom, what happens at speed dating, stays at speed dating. That business is private and personal. It’s one thing to invade my privacy. I’m used to it. It’s another to do it to someone like Finn who you just met.’
‘Stop being so uptight,’ she says and then turns to Finn. ‘He’s always been a little tightly wound. He doesn’t get enough fiber. I think he tends to be constipated but he’s really got so much potential.’
‘Mom! Stop. Please.’ I cover my face with my hands.
‘Fine. It’s not like Clams handed over the data. That would be unethical. At least that’s what he told me when I asked for it.’
‘I went. I did what you wanted. Can we just stop talking about the whole thing? You are embarrassing Finn,’ I say.
‘I don’t mind.’ Finn shrugs.
‘You aren’t helping,’ I say and shoot him a look.
‘In fact,’ Finn says, pulling out a chair and sitting down with us. ‘I did match with one person at the event.’
‘Oh, that’s wonderful. How fabulous.’ My mother responds like money is falling from the sky. ‘Have you arranged the next date yet?’
‘I haven’t yet. I don’t know when he’s free. Sam, when are you free?’ He raises his eyebrows in a way that makes me almost forget he is not a viable match for me. He’s just doing this to entertain my mother, I tell myself.
‘I knew it!’ She slaps her hand on the table so hard the sugar falls over.
‘You did not know it,’ I say. ‘Finn and I work together. We are not a match. Not in that way.’ The words are more challenging to get out than I thought they would be. I notice Finn’s face shift downward slightly.
‘Finn, my son has no idea what he wants. He’s still finding himself.’
‘Mom, enough,’ I interrupt. I’m about to remind them both again that Finn and I work together. I’ve told her this but she doesn’t listen. Still, I can’t help but wonder what a date with Finn Montgomery would be like?
‘I think it’s nice that you’re helping, Glory,’ Finn says firmly planting himself on my mother’s good side. ‘My parents would never be that interested in my life.’
‘Again, Finn. Not helping. But if your mom is looking to do a late-stage adoption please give her my contact information.’
‘Sam, you don’t understand what a gift this is. Finn understands,’ Mom says, and pauses putting her finger to chin. ‘I’ve got an idea. You two are so busy. I’ll plan the whole thing, soup to nuts; how does that sound? All you both do is show up. What do you think Finn?’
‘Sure,’ he says. ‘That sounds like an adventure.’
‘Um, you didn’t ask me what I think,’ I interject.
‘You don’t get a choice. Do you need me to call Rajesh over or bring out Exhibit A, The Letter, and the addendum? I keep a photocopy behind the counter for moments exactly like this.’
‘No, Mother. Plan away. It’s not like anyone can stop you.’
I look at Finn and he seems to be enjoying the whole thing. I wish I could see more things through his eyes.