Chapter 44
A week later, the night of my cousin’s wedding, we gather at Plant Daddy before we head up to The Plaza for the ceremony and reception. Kai is wearing a tuxedo with a pink, blue, and white striped bow tie, and my mom is dressed in a sparkly gown with the same colors. Omar has designed matching suits for him and Kevin. I have no doubt there is a lizard somewhere in Brooklyn wearing a miniature version. Omar offered to make one for me but I declined. I’m wearing a simple vintage tuxedo but I’ve added my own flair with the pair of rainbow socks my mom bought me for one of my dates.
We walk into the wedding at The Plaza, and the famous Grand Ballroom is decorated with so many winter white flowers it’s hard to believe there are any left in the tri-state area. White roses, lilies, tulips, and chrysanthemums fill the room, spilling out of glass vases that soar above the tables like trees frosted with fresh snow. Soft lighting bounces off the intricate gold and burgundy embellishments on the vaulted ceiling, giving the entire room a warm glow. No expense has been spared for this event. We wait in line with the other guests and then congratulate my cousin Ziggy and his new wife Hilda. We even make nice with my Uncle Donald before we head to our table.
Mom and Kai, and Omar and Kevin, look so happy to be with someone special at this event. I’m glad to be sitting with so many people I love. I’m also glad Wayne is home with a cold because I don’t want to eat wedding cake sitting next to a lizard.
I know my mom didn’t want me to be alone at this, but tonight I don’t feel lonely. I feel like I’m with my people. But it would feel great to be here with someone special.
We get to the table reserved for the ‘Carmichael Family’ and I take away a chair to make morespace for Kai. Then I pull out my mom’s chair and she sits down. The table seats six, so there’s one empty chair remaining where my date should be.
I turn to my mom and say, ‘I’m sorry. I know you wanted me to have a date for this wedding.’ I can’t help staring at the empty place setting. Beautiful gold-trimmed plates and elegant glassware that won’t be used tonight. I think about asking the server to remove it so it doesn’t taunt me.
‘Sam, all I’ve ever wanted is for you to be happy and from where I am sitting it looks like you’re almost there.’
Maybe I am. It felt like I might have been getting close but I’m still not there. ‘Mom, I don’t even have a date.’
‘Who says?’
‘Everyone at our table is with someone and I’m not. Five is an odd number I’m afraid.’
‘Samuel, our agreement is valid until midnight tonight. I have no intention of relinquishing my control until the very last moment.’ She checks her watch. ‘Don’t forget I’m still in charge of your dating life for the next six hours at least.’
Her phone buzzes inside her purse. She opens it and looks down but keeps the screen hidden. ‘That’s your blind date… He’s out by the fountain. Go get him and show him where we are.’
‘Mom, you didn’t.’ I cover my face with my hand. ‘Please tell me you didn’t set me up with some random for tonight.’
‘Sam do not keep this young gentleman waiting. They’re about to start serving the salad course, and you know what happens to your tummy if you don’t get enough roughage.’ She holds up a finger with her warning.
I roll my eyes. Some things will never change.
‘I’ve learned a lot over these past few months about what you need,’ she says. ‘Anyway, you don’t have a choice. I have Rajesh on speed dial. Don’t make me call him to go over terms. It’s rude to keep a blind date waiting. Go.’
The last thing I want to do tonight is have a date with some guy I don’t know. The Plaza is so romantic it will just make everything worse. My heart is not in the right place right now. I get up from the table and my mom says, ‘I love you times a million billion.’
‘I love you a billion more,’ I say, and I really mean it. I walk out of the ballroom past the Palm Court with its elegant green lattice and fronds stretching to the ceiling. I exit through the lobby to the front entrance where a red carpet leads out of the hotel to Fifth Avenue.
Across from me I see the iconic fountain at the foot of Central Park where Barbra Streisand brushed Robert Redford’s bangs out of his eyes in The Way We Were – one of my favorite Hollywood classics.
I scan the area around the fountain and don’t see any single guys but then the spray from the fountain shifts and through the mist I see the back of a man in a tuxedo. A strip of color catches my attention and my eyes drop down to his ankles. He’s wearing the same rainbow socks I am. My eyes move up from his socks, and my entire body responds to the handsome figure I only see in silhouette. I recognize him. His frame is strong and confident. It has to be… The man turns around, and it’s Finn.
I run across the street between The Plaza and the fountain, almost causing an accident and making a few cars roll down their windows to scream at me, but I don’t care. I keep going until I’m standing in front of him. ‘Finn, what are you doing here?’ He looks stunning in his tuxedo and I notice he must have recently gotten a haircut.
‘A certain mother from New Jersey invited me to a very important family wedding.’
‘And you came? Thank you. Thank you so much.’ I don’t know how he feels about me but the fact that he was willing to come tonight is a good indication that maybe he’s had enough time to reconsider.
‘I also wanted to give you this.’ He opens his tuxedo jacket and pulls out an envelope from the inside pocket. He looks at it for a second and then shows it to me. I immediately recognize the Art Barn logo. He hands it to me and I rip it open and read.
‘Oh my gosh. They accepted me for the residency. This spring. I just submitted the application a week ago. I can’t believe… how… what?’ The words fall out of my mouth and I’m not sure what I’m saying. This moment is all about feelings and I like the ones I’m having right now.
‘I had nothing to do with it,’ Finn says, raising his hands to show his innocence. ‘I’m only the messenger. When I found out you applied, I recused myself from evaluating your application. But it was a unanimous decision, and I did read your application. It was beautiful. Not just in how it was written but because of what you said. You finally did it and I know you meant it.’
‘What I said is true. It’s all true.’ I remember exactly how my application started:
For most of my life, I’ve struggled to take myself seriously. I was always doing something else instead of just being myself because I wasn’t sure who that was. Lately, I’ve learned that the only way to believe in yourself is to know yourself honestly, and that’s what I’m determined to do.
‘You taught me to do all that. Thank you,’ I say.
‘I knew you could get there, and maybe you were already there when we were doing the presentation at the school. When I read your statement, I knew it was more than words because I felt…’ He puts his hand to his mouth and searches for the words. ‘I felt connected. Connected to you. I take my art so seriously. Maybe too seriously. That world is easy for me, but this?’ He gestures to the space between us and shakes his head. ‘I thought my work alone could be enough but it’s not. I also need to be connected to people I love. People like you.’ He bites his lower lip and pauses. ‘Not just people like you. You.’
He tilts his head and I do the same but the opposite way. It feels like time is slowing down as our lips are drawn together by a force neither of us wants to stop. He puts his lips on mine, and we kiss. The air is cold, but I feel his warmth, and I share mine with him as our mouths connect and he holds me in his arms. I can hear the traffic and smell the chestnuts and fresh pretzels from the food carts on the edge of the park. We don’t separate. We keep kissing and smiling, and it feels like we are both letting down whatever obstacles were there before. We’re finally knowing each other in the way we have both been wanting. Horse-drawn carriages, traffic, tourists, and native New Yorkers swirl around us. We are a part of it all, but we are also a part of each other.
We catch our breath, and our lips separate, but we’re still holding each other. He looks at me, I look at him, and at the same time, we both say to each other, ‘You’re amazing.’ We laugh, and I can see his breath in the cold night air. I look into his eyes and say, ‘We are both amazing.’ But it’s not the words that are important. It’s the feeling.