Chapter 6 ALI – WITHWITHOUT YOU
I’m not sure how it happened, maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was JP’s disarming grin, or his calm nature, but it only took a couple hours for my guard to completely drop.
We were running around the cruise ship, knocking out little dares like kids playing ding dong ditch. Sure, we did pass up a few dares, but that just meant both of us had taken our fair share of shots.
I’d been living on a cruise ship for almost a decade, but this was the first time I actually experienced being a tourist; it was the first time I had pure fun, and that was thanks to him.
I should’ve known that would happen. I never let myself revisit my past, but if I did, I’d quickly remember that I always had fun with him.
And the more time I spent with him, the more I started remembering.
When he dipped close to whisper a joke in my ear, I caught a whiff of his cologne, and it was like inhaling a dose of nostalgic happiness bottled straight from the twenty-tens in Michigan.
I always loved the way he smelled. Even after a hard-fought game, when he came out to the rink lobby with sweaty hair and a damp shirt, he never smelled bad to me.
We played a round of ping pong—I won.
We played a round of blackjack—he won.
I dared him to jump in the pool fully clothed—he did it.
He dared me to sing karaoke in the packed bar—I sang my best rendition of Best Days of Your Life by Kellie Pickler.
And now that it was nearing 2 a.m., we were dancing wildly in the strobe lights at the ship’s nightclub.
He kept a safe, respectable distance from me, not daring to touch me as we danced, but I wanted him to. God, I wanted him to take me in his arms so badly.
In the past, I’d never been jealous when watching other couples dance. I typically didn’t even pay attention. I wrote off physical contact as something I didn’t want anyway.
But in one single night, JP was changing that.
He was making me crave it.
“All right, folks, it’s the last dance of the night,” the DJ called out, making the room of dancers groan. “Join us tomorrow starting at 10 p.m. for seventies night!”
JP’s eyes danced with delight. “You hear that? Seventies night. We can’t miss that.”
I laughed as the next song started. I expected the DJ to play a banger, but the song started off slow, making a lot of people immediately leave the dance floor. JP and I now had a lot more space to dance, but he stood frozen, staring at the DJ stand.
When I looked up at him in question, he just shook his head. “Sorry, good song.”
“Really? I don’t recognize it yet,” I murmured, listening closely.
“I think you will,” he said with a shy grin.
As soon as I heard Bono’s voice, my eyes snapped up to his. “With or Without You” was one of his favorite songs as a teen. This felt…
“Did you request this?” I demanded.
“No.” He let out an incredulous laugh. “I swear, I didn’t.”
…meant to be.
Small red splotches formed on his cheeks, clueing me in that he was feeling anxious—something I always found endearing when we were young.
I found it even more endearing now. As the beat picked up a little, he held his hand out to me.
My heart jumped. As soon as I took his hand, he twirled me into him so we were chest to chest.
This was the most contact we’d had all night. I practically stopped breathing. My eyes darted to his lips. I’d never wanted to kiss someone so badly.
His large hand splayed across my hip and lower back, making goosebumps climb my arms. As the song picked up, my body was flooded with nostalgia for our younger selves driving down Michigan dirt roads in his old truck, singing this song on the top of our lungs.
It suddenly felt like we were the only two on the dance floor, and my face actually hurt from smiling so hard.
Swaying to the beat, he lifted my hands slightly above my head, then trailed his rough hands down my arms and body.
When he reached just below my hips, he dipped to pick me up, so I was now angled above him.
A laugh flew out of me as my foot popped while he spun me around.
“I’m impressed,” I said, feeling like I was in a movie. “Where did that move come from?” I asked as he set me back down and resumed dancing.
“Ah, you don’t wanna know,” he said with a little chuckle.
My face faltered slightly, and a little reservation slid into my heart.
It was easy to get carried away with him.
I was so touch-starved that this night probably meant way more to me than him.
I gave a weak smile and looked away. He was right.
Why would I want to know? A woman from his past probably taught him.
“No,” he said quietly, giving my waist a little squeeze. “You’re thinking the wrong thing, Al.”
“What? No, I’m not thinking anything,” I denied, but my voice came out a little too high.
“Ah…” He dropped his head back for a second. “This is a secret, okay? Mer still doesn’t know how Colt’s as smooth as he is on the dance floor.”
My eyebrows drew together in confusion.
He licked his lips. “You know that celebrity ballroom dance competition? The one on TV?”
“Yeah, of course. I love watching it.”
“Well, one of our retired buddies went on it a couple years ago.”
My eyebrows flew up. “And he taught you?”
“Yeah, he taught a bunch of us. We were curious.” He shrugged.
For some reason, the thought of a bunch of NHL guys practicing ballroom dance moves together had me cracking up laughing.
“Hey, they’re useful skills, are they not?” he asked with a grin.
I couldn’t hide my own grin as I patted his chest. “They really are.”
A second later, he spun me out again, but this time, when he pulled me back in, he dipped me ever so slightly.
My eyes flashed to his in shock, but there was absolutely no surprise in his. His heavy-lidded eyes were glued to my lips. I wanted this. I’d wanted this kiss for a long time.
In a daring move, my hand slid up his cheek. A grateful look passed on his face. A second later, his lips were on mine as he pulled me up out of the dip, making my whole world feel like it was tilting in the best way possible.
His lips were soft but firm against mine. One of his large hands slid down to my lower back while his other gently fisted my hair. A euphoric happiness filled my chest, but the kiss was only a few fleeting seconds long.
When he pulled back, his eyes were still closed for a beat. “Wow.”
Leaning my head against his chest, I let out a breathless little laugh.
“We got the first one out of the way,” he said, a faint blush stained his cheeks.
A laugh popped out of me. My hand flitted to my chest. I could feel my heart beating erratically. First one, he said, meaning he wanted to kiss me again. I was practically giddy with excitement. When my eyes flitted back up to his, he gave me a knowing grin.
Pretty soon he was singing the words to the song in a hilariously over-the-top manner, making me crack up laughing.
He pulled me in front of him, so my back was flush to his chest, and he hugged my waist with his large arms. His presence around me was overwhelming in the best way possible.
“C’mon, Al, you know these words,” he whispered in my ear.
He gave me a wink, and the look on his face said, C’mon, play along with me.
Biting my lip, I joined him for the chorus.
“Thatta girl,” he whispered in a gravelly voice, making a thrill race down to my core.
________
“Wait, my shoe!” I came to a stop in the hallway and JP barreled into me. His large arm wrapped around my waist to keep us from toppling over.
“Jeez, Al,” he said with a chuckle. “Supposed to be resting my shoulder.”
“Your shoulder?” I squeaked out, craning my neck to look at him.
He ignored my question and lifted my rogue sandal in front of my face. “Got it right here.”
I clapped a hand over my mouth to cover my laughing. “My hero.”
He shook his head ruefully and grinned. “You’re drunk, Al.”
“You are, too,” I pushed a finger into his chest.
He rubbed his bloodshot eyes. “I definitely am. You have some water?”
“Ooh, yes, good idea.” Moving a little quicker down the length of the skinny hallway, I made it to my door and swiped us in, then stumbled toward my mini-fridge.
Except when I turned to hand him his water, his bleary eyes were roving over my entire bedroom, making me pause.
Shit.
I hadn't thought this through. This was the first time a man had ever stepped foot inside of here, and I suddenly felt way too exposed.
“Sorry, it’s kind of messy,” I said, quickly moving around to pick up rogue clothes littering the floor.
“No, it’s not,” he said kindly. He grasped my hips to stop me and pulled me against him. “No time for cleaning, just sleeping,” he said in a groggy voice, then he pretty much picked me up and flopped us onto my tiny bed, making me giggle.
I tried to get us situated under my sheets but accidentally elbowed him in the process, making an oof pop out of his mouth.
“Sorry,” I cringed.
He just chuckled. “Stay still. Just let me.” With a grunt, he pretty much manhandled us into a good position, tugging my hips closer so that I laid right beside him, my cheek against his chest, one arm glued to my side, the other splayed across his large chess.
He lazily looped his arm around my lower back to pull me closer, and it felt so incredibly comforting. It felt right.
“Good?” he asked. His hand gently swiped back and forth over my arm draped across his chest.
More than good, I thought as I nodded against him. “Ya know, I never took you as a cuddler, Jameson.”
His happy eyes met mine. “You like it or hate it?”
“I like it,” I said with a sigh. A bubble of uneasiness started forming in my chest.
“Sounds like that’s a problem?” he mumbled sleepily.
Yes, it was.
Because I liked it way too much.