Chapter 35 ALI - RIGHT HOOKS
Shoot. “I’m sorry,” I mouthed to JP.
“Knows what?” Cliff asked a second time, his brows pulling together in curiosity.
JP rubbed his jaw.
“Cliff, I’m…” I trailed off.
“Ali’s pregnant,” JP finished.
Cliff’s surprised eyes flew to me.
“With—”
“With my…” JP cleared his throat again. “With our… babies.”
Cliff sucked in his top lip and nodded. Then he glared at his son. “I told you.” He wagged his finger at JP. “I told you, son.” In a flash, the older man pulled back and decked JP in the eye, making JP stumble back. Cliff shook out his hand.
“Fuck, Dad. I’m injured,” JP’s left hand went up to his eye. “What was that for?”
“I warned you, son.” His cheeks flushed with anger. “Ali, I’m sorry you had to see that.”
“No, it’s okay,” I said, my eyes wide with shock. “It’s not bad.”
“He’ll marry you,” Cliff blurted out.
“Dad!” JP burst out.
“He will,” Cliff said in a determined voice.
“Dad, she doesn’t want that,” JP yelled at him.
Cliff’s eyes never left mine. “Do you?”
I felt frozen in shock. I didn’t know how to explain it to him in a way that made sense.
Because yes. Deep down, JP was the only guy I would ever even consider marrying.
But that currently wasn’t even possible considering I was still legally married to a total asshole who I hadn’t seen or talked to in over ten years.
“You’re scaring her, Dad,” JP said.
“I’m sorry, Ali.” Cliff shook his hand out again.
“Why are you saying sorry to her?” JP asked, holding his eye.
Ignoring his son, Cliff studied his hand. “That fuckin’ hurt.”
“Oh, did it?” JP snapped sarcastically. When he took his hand away from his eye, I gasped.
His face was already red and blotchy from the punch.
But for some reason, the way JP was muttering complaints had me struggling to keep a straight face.
I immediately rolled my lips together to stop, but the damage was already done. JP shot me a look that said really?
I gave a sheepish shrug, then ducked out of the room and made a beeline to the freezer. I fished around until I found a bag of frozen peas. Grabbing it, I headed back to the living room and handed it to Cliff.
“Here, put this on your hand,” I told him.
JP’s eyes bulged. “Really? What about me?”
Struggling not to laugh, I went back to the freezer for some ice for him.
After we were all settled in the living room, an awkward silence descended on the room.
“Are you really okay, Ali?” Cliff’s knee bobbed up and down nervously. “I’ll help you in whatever way you need. Anything, all you have to do is ask.”
“No, I’m okay. I’m… I’m happy,” I said, and it was the truth.
Seeing my smile, a little tension bled out of Cliff’s shoulders.
“I’m so glad to hear that.” He shook his head, fighting off emotions.
When he looked at me again, his eyes were teary.
“Good.” His chin wobbled “I’m… That’s good.
” Pushing himself off the couch, he awkwardly shuffled over to me. I stood and hugged him.
"Everything's good. I’m four months along. We’re having twins,” I said, struggling to reign in my own happy emotions.
“Twins?” he asked. He rubbed his forehead. “How about that, eh?” He smiled at me with sparkling grey eyes.
“Yeah.” I bit my lip to contain my smile. “You’re gonna be a grandpa.” My hand went to my stomach. “I think we’re gonna find out the genders at the next appointment, right?” I asked JP.
“Yeah, I think we’ve had our fill of surprises, but it’s up to you,” he said distractedly, still rubbing his eye. “Right hook better than half the NHL’s,” he muttered.
I gave Cliff another reassuring smile. “I think I need a nap. Is it all right if I…?” I nodded to the hallway leading back to the bedrooms.
“Yes, of course,” Cliff said hurriedly. “Go for it.”
As soon as I started walking, Hank struggled off the couch to follow me. JP rose to his feet and his hand found the small of my back as he guided me back to his bedroom.
“Wow, I feel like I’m breaking rules by being in here,” I whispered, taking in his room, which looked like it hadn’t changed since JP’s teenage days.
There were random sports memorabilia hanging around the room, nailed to the walls.
Seeing his old #26 jersey that he wore at Centre Ice in a frame had me smiling.
I watched so many games of his in that jersey.
A small wooden desk was pushed up against the wall, staked with a bunch of hockey and baseball trophies.
My eyes caught sight of something else on his desk: a picture of the three boys in their pond skating gear, aged about ten.
Wearing sweatpants, hunting hats, hoodies, and skates, they were holding their hockey sticks and making faces at the camera.
“I love this one,” I said.
Leaning against the doorway, crossing his socked feet at the ankles, JP gave me an amused grin. “Kappy’s mom gave that one to me. She’s got a ton of old pictures.”
“I’ll have to ask her to see them sometime,” I said while struggling against a yawn.
“Hey.” He strode over and palmed my face, studying my eyes. “You feeling okay?
“Yeah, just tired.” I smiled, putting him at ease.
He leaned down and kissed me, his palm never leaving my face, his fingers curled around the base of my skull.
Feeling a spark inside of me. I reached my arms around his neck.
His left arm snacked around me, pulling me tighter as I deepened the kiss. Pulling back, he bit out a groan. “I want to pick you up so bad right now.”
I patted his cheek and struggled to contain another yawn, which made him yawn. “You wanna nap with me?” I asked.
“I’ll stay for a couple minutes, but then I should catch up with my dad,” he said.
Nodding, I made my way over to his bed, which smelled just like him. Tucking myself in, I let out a hum. “This is either very comfy or I’m extremely tired,” I joked. “I think I stayed up too late with Annie.”
He sat up against the headboard and played with my hair, which was like a relaxant drug, making my whole body go completely limp.
“What if the teen version of us could see us now?” I wondered out loud.
His grey eyes went to mine. “Teenage me would high-five myself,” he said with a laugh. “You were my only goal left. I’m so glad I went on that cruise.”
“I’m so glad Kappy and Colt got you on the cruise,” I corrected with a laugh.
He gave a rueful shake of his head. “Assholes. For what it’s worth, I really did think I booked it because I was thinking about it that night.
” He traced my hairline with his finger.
He got a faraway look in his eye. “Sometimes I still think this is all too good to be true, and this is not what you really want.” He paused for a beat.
“What would teen Ali say about all this?”
I thought about my answer for a second. “Remember what you told me when we went skating for Mer’s seventeenth birthday? You said we were—”
“Inevitable,” he answered with a smirk.
“Yeah. I loved that you said that. I had the biggest crush on you.”
“You did?” His eyebrows popped up.
“Oh yeah, I thought it was very sexy the way you stuck me with my Epipen when I was basically dying at ice show practice.” I laughed.
“Yeah, that’s not funny.” He grinned despite himself. “I made Hans keep an Epipen in the office after that.”
I smiled. I knew that, and I loved him for it.
“I’ve always loved you, JP. But I just felt like we always had obstacles stopping us from being together romantically.
Sometimes it was you, other times it was me.
We’ve grown and changed so much over the years.
But I hope you know that every version of me has loved every version of you. ”
He intertwined his fingers with mine and brought my hand up to kiss it.
“This version of me is my favorite,” I told him.
It was true. I felt more in control and self-assured than I ever had before, than I ever thought was even possible.
I felt at peace. If I could stop time and stay a single age forever, it’d be this one.
“And this version of me is so madly in love with you.”
“I love you too, Ali,” he rested his forehead on mine. “In every way possible,” he said, then he kissed me once more.
I fell asleep to him playing with my hair.
When I woke up some time later, I could vaguely hear their voices through the wall.
“You’re ready for this? You’ll stand by her and make it right?” Cliff asked.
“Yes, dad. Of course. I love her more than life,” JP answered.
Cliff was silent for a minute. “You always have.” It wasn’t a question, he said it like a statement.
“And I always will,” JP confirmed, making my heart squeeze in my chest.
“What about that guy? Mark? Is he still around?”
My body tensed, waiting for JP’s reaction.
“Yeah, unfortunately I think he is,” JP said.
“He could be a problem, Son.”
“They’re still married.”
Cliff let out a dry chuckle. “That son of a bitch. Yeah, he could definitely be a problem. Does he know she’s back? Does he know she’s pregnant?”
JP let out a sigh. “He will soon.”
“Just be prepared. It might be hard, but you’re a fighter. I know this probably goes without saying, but you need to protect her.”
“I know.”
Their conversation drifted to business, to hockey, and then to Hank. I fell back to sleep listening to their comforting voices.
___________
2014
After completely blowing my long program at Nationals, I sat in the locker room with my dress and skates still on long after the competition was over.
Katrina already left to go mingle with other skaters and coaches.
My mom and Annie were already back at the hotel getting ready for the big press event tonight. Annie was being named to the Olympic team. I was happy for her. But I needed to sit on this bench a little while longer.
As soon as I took off my skates, it was all really over. And I had no clue what was next. What would my life even look like after this?
I was honestly too scared to move.
By the time I walked out of the locker room, I was practically the last person in the stadium. After such an intense week, the peace and quiet felt like a gentle hug.
What I didn’t know then, was that I should’ve taken longer to get back to the hotel. Because I was wholly unprepared for what I was walking into.
As soon as I opened our hotel room door, the stench hit me. Our room smelled like a brewery. Part of me wanted to shut the door and run away, but I swatted that thought away. My need for reassurance outweighed my fear. I just wanted him to hug me and tell me it was all going to be okay.
Too bad we don’t always get what we want.
Mark lumbered forward, a drunk, stumbling mess.
He took one look at me and lost it. He started throwing clothes at me, calling me pathetic, saying he married a loser.
When he ran out of clothes to throw, he grabbed a drinking glass and let it fly.
I dunked as it exploded against the wall.
But I wasn’t fast enough to dodge the TV clicker.
It hit me right below my eye, making my ears ring.
Any part of my heart left intact after that day just crumbled into dust.
The next thing I knew, he was stalking toward me, slamming his fist against the wall by my head. My whole body shook as I registered what just happened.
His black eyes were wild, telling me no amount of crying or pleading would make it through to him.
He was too far gone. He pulled back again, and I braced for the blow.
I was too tired, too depressed, to even make myself fight back.
I have no doubt he would’ve killed me that night, but his phone started ringing.
He swore under his breath and forgot about me.
Gasping for breath. I dropped to the floor and scrambled behind the bed.
He thankfully stormed out of the room without looking at me.
As soon as he was gone, I ran to lock the door, then slid down to my butt.
How did I get here?
How did it all come to this?
Pulling my knees up to my chest, I laid my forehead down and cried.
It came to this because I was too focused on this one day. Skating was all I ever saw for my future. My only goal was standing on that podium. I’m not sure I even realized that my life would continue after this day… that my marriage would continue after this day…
Now that it was all over, now that figure skating was over…
All I had left was this.
Him.
I messed up too badly and there was no way out.
I was trapped.
Trapped.
Kind grey eyes and birds flying high in blue skies flashed in my brain.
“I’d never trap you.”
I cried harder.
My fingers itched to call JP. I knew he’d pick up, too, but that would just cause an even bigger mess.
I couldn’t risk it. I couldn’t risk him.
I knew what it was like to watch a dream float out of your grasp.
JP was so close to making the NHL. But if he came here, Mark would ruin everything for him.
I knew Mark. He wouldn’t stop until JP had nothing left.
Just like me. This was my fault. My mistake. I had to live with it…