Chapter 15 Ignoring the Red
IGNORING THE RED
ANASTASIA
Even if Saint hasn’t told me everything about the woman and child from his past, he will. I know it. Because I’ll be patient and give him time.
“Saint,” I moan, his lips grazing down my neck to where his hand cups it possessively.
“Say it. Who do you need, Anastasia?”
“You, always you.”
He claims my lips slow and sexy this time, drawing it out like we have no expiration date.
We can’t, not after tonight, not ever. He has to be the one man I’ve been searching for my entire life.
If he’s not… well, there’s always the promise of Nana baking me treats to soothe my broken heart for the rest of my days.
With his mouth and hands on me, he leans me back on the bed until he’s hovering over me. I split and raise my legs to accommodate him. Like it belongs there, his cock finds its way into my entrance, stealing my breath away.
“Oh, jeez, a condom. Hold on, baby.” He pulls out, reaches to the floor, and brings up his jeans. Only something falls from his pocket onto my stomach.
“What is this?” I hold up a green and furry object, scared at first, until I realize it’s an old rabbit’s foot.
“U-um…” He stutters, his face white, like he’s shocked to see it in my hands. “Nothing. Just something an old friend gave me long ago.”
He grabs it from me and launches off the bed. He tosses it into that bottom dresser drawer and slams it shut. Another piece of the mystery, I presume. Did she give it to him?
I’m speechless, watching him fumble for the condom. He turns away from me to sheath himself, his breathing erratic, like he’s trying to maintain a hold on the present.
With a deep inhale, he returns to me. But is he really with me? Between my legs, eyes closed, he reaches down, lining up for entry.
“Hey, stop. Look at me.” I hold his cheeks in my hands. “Are you okay? Are you here with me or somewhere else?”
He’s quiet, his weight going down to his elbows on each side of my head while he searches my face.
“Saint? Talk to me. Tell me everything.”
“I’m okay.” He shakes his head, planting kisses down my neck to my chest. The way he latches on and suckles on each of my breasts like he’s a baby who needs every reassurance that there’s good in this world, I let him use me for comfort, if that’s what he needs.
Questions multiply in my head. Did he lose the woman and child in some way? Was he in love with her? When will he tell me?
“Anastasia, my angel, you’re so patient and good for me,” he whispers along my skin, leaving goose bumps in his wake. “Let me show you my appreciation.”
He lines his cock up again.
I worry. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
“Sh, baby, I’m good. Let me prove it to you.” His blue eyes lock with mine. They are back here with me, not empty and lost somewhere in time.
Is that how it will always be? Certain things casting him away into the past. Me fighting for us here? It sounds too close to a red flag, which I choose to ignore, because I finally have the man I’ve lusted after for so long. The man I’ve denied I wanted until recent events brought us together.
His thick head works its way in, deliciously stretching me. I moan and purr, as he moves in and out, each pass reaching deeper. “Yes, Saint, like that.”
“Walls so fucking tight like I knew you would be, my sweet girl.” With a grunt, with one last thrust to the hilt, he reaches my soul and pulses there. “Do you feel me deep? Feel how we’re connected?”
“Yes, so good.” The best cock I’ve ever had, and it’s attached to a man with a secret past. Just my luck.
My hands reach up, fingers behind his neck, my thumbs at his pulse.
He’s alive, and with me, and if this is what he needs, me on my back, helping him forget the past, then I’m here for all of it.
“You keep me here, okay? Don’t let me go, angel, no matter what. Don’t let me go.”
“I won’t. I’ll be here to fight all your battles with you.
Promise.” My words fade away, only our fragmented breaths remain as our bodies move together.
The give and take between us equalizes, soft and tender at first, soon becomes hard and demanding.
We experience it all, pain and pleasure, as we climb together .
Faster, deeper, his cock sears into me. I hold on to him tightly, begging him for more, crying, “Don’t stop fucking me.”
“Never stop.” His fast strokes intensify the penetration. He’s everything I dreamed of having and more, with the stamina of a hockey god on fire. But what if I can’t be strong enough for both of us when he needs me to be? Will I lose him?
He doesn’t give me space to dwell on that, reaching down to my clit, strumming there. Engaging my core, my body reacts, my legs shaking. I’m breaking down all my defenses for him, leaving myself wide open to be loved…or hurt.
Tingles hum through my body, seeking only the greatest pleasure in the moment. “I’m coming for you, Saint.”
“I love watching your face right now, like pure ecstasy,” he growls.
My eyes open. I had no idea he was watching me so intensely. And love? That alone adds another layer to my ecstasy. I tumble down, head over heels, releasing myself all around him.
“That’s it, good girl. Lose it on my cock. Let yourself go.”
I do, screaming his name. “Saint, oh my God.”
I may be done, but he’s relentless, filling me deeper than I thought any man could go, until all at once he detonates inside of me. “Anastasia,” he roars, the vibration of his release quakes throughout my body, until he collapses.
We stay connected for some time, until our breathing returns to normal. My hands remain locked around him to keep him here with me as long as I can. Like I promised.
Then all at once, he leaves, the weight of him is gone. The cool air hits me and I worry, lifting my head, only to find him rinsing a cloth under the water in his bathroom. When he returns to me, through my half-lidded eyes and a lazy smile, I watch him clean me.
He’s the fantasy man I always wanted. “Thanks for that,” I whisper.
“Always.” He smiles and kisses my lips. Next thing I know, he takes a shower. So much for after sex talking and cuddling.
It’s okay, though, we’re just beginning. This is only the first time, hopefully, of many. I get up and put my t-shirt back on, happy, satiated. Until I glance back at the dresser drawer.
I retreat to my room across the hall. So many thoughts swirl through my head. I forget all about his promise of dinner, not in need of food, but for answers to all the mysteries. I curl into a ball under the covers of my bed, turning away from the door.
A few minutes later, it opens and Saint comes charging in, reaching my bed in two huge paces.
“What are you doing?” I startle.
“What do you think you’re doing?”
“Um, sleeping?”
“Not without me.” Suddenly, he grabs me and hoists me over his shoulder, one arm steadying me behind my knees, the other hand on my backside, squeezing each of my cheeks. “You’ll be sleeping next to me.”
He carries me back to his bed and gently lays me down.
“Are you sure about this? So soon?”
“Don’t deny it. This is what you want. And I do, too.” He brings the blankets up to my chin and tucks me there.
“I just thought, since you didn’t hold me and snuggle after, and went to shower right away, that you were done with me.”
“Never done with you. And if you need snuggles after sex, noted. I’ll do better next time. You’re my angel, not some puck bunny I can’t wait to usher out the door.”
A feeble smile comes to my lips, reading a lot into this. It’s clear he really hasn’t done relationships that well since—my eyes dart to the dresser drawer.
He blocks my view and kisses me. “Be right back. Don’t go anywhere.”
I have no words and don’t move a muscle, unsure about what’s going on. Too tired to fight a jumble of emotions building inside of me, I can’t relax.
Next thing I know, he returns with a tray filled with Chinese food boxes. “Dinner is served, my lady. Hope you’re hungry.” He grins and I sputter, a happy tear coming to my eye.
I sit up and plump pillows tall behind us for comfort, making room for him next to me. We eat and talk about our day, and he has me laughing for an hour about the new guys on the team, until we’re both stuffed. Thank God we did it first before dinner, so my belly wasn’t so swollen.
When we finally turn the lights out, his arms go around me, bringing me into his warm body.
We fit so well together, he’s my new comfort place—and I’ll have him every night because this is our bed, according to him.
This is everything, and I feel myself falling fast for him, even while the dresser drawer a few feet away harbors a huge secret.
Exhausted to the point I can’t think straight, my eyes fight to stay awake as he continues to whisper in the dark.
“I’m going to need more time with you because you see the real me, Anastasia, like no one has in a long, long time. We won’t waste precious hours anymore because every second together counts.”
“Are we doing this then?” I yawn. “More than roommates?”
“So much more. Now go to sleep, my angel.”
I fade off happier than I’ve been in some time, with a full smile on my face.