Chapter 39
AUSTIN
It feels pretty incredible.
That was my first thought when Melody said it felt too good. Everything that had happened since the wedding had been pretty incredible. Good wasn’t the right word. It was so much better than that.
It was complicated and messy and terrifying, but incredible.
“I’m glad you showed up at the gala too,” I said. “Best surprise of my life.”
“Even better than Christmas morning when you were seven?”
“I was a rich kid. Christmas was never that exciting. But you? Showing up in that gold dress?” I let my eyes roam over her. “That was magic.”
She smiled, and in the moonlight she looked ethereal. Like something I had dreamed up rather than someone real standing in front of me.
It was perfect. There were few moments in my life that I would ever claim as perfect. Perfect was a big word to live up to, but this was definitely one of those.
The smooth waters. The star-filled sky. The food. The champagne. Everything.
And I was so afraid I was going to fuck it all up. That’s what I did. If there was something good in my life, I found a way to make a mess of it.
I was afraid to say anything. I didn’t want to risk ruining the moment. So, I decided to refill our glasses with more bubbly.
“We should talk about this,” she said.
“This?”
“What we’re doing.”
She was going to pop our perfect little bubble. But it had to happen.
“Okay. Let’s talk.”
We moved to one of the cushioned lounge areas, settling in close together. The yacht rocked gently beneath us. The sound of the water lapping against the side of the boat was soothing. Just adding to the perfectness of the moment.
“This started as an arrangement,” Melody said carefully. “Both of us needed something. You needed your family off your back. I needed to restore my reputation.”
“I remember.”
“But now I think this is something different.” She paused, seeming to gather her thoughts. “Like we crossed some line from pretend to real, and I can’t remember exactly when it happened.”
“Does it matter when?”
“Maybe not. But it matters that we both acknowledge it.” She looked at me directly. “This is real for me, Austin. You’re real for me. And that’s scary as hell.”
I took her hands in mine, needing that connection. “It’s real for me too. Maybe the realest thing I’ve ever had.”
“Really?”
“Really.” I struggled to find the right words. “I’ve never told a woman I loved her. Never even come close. And I’m not saying—I mean, it’s early, and I don’t want to screw anything up.”
“Austin, you’re rambling.”
“I know.” I took a breath. “What I’m trying to say is that I can see myself falling for you. Hell, I might already be falling. And that terrifies me because I don’t know how to do this. Don’t know how to be in something real.”
“So we figure it out together.” Her voice was soft, soothing. “We take it one day at a time. We make mistakes. We learn. We grow.”
“And if I fuck it up? Because you know I will. It’s kind of my specialty.”
“Then we deal with it when it happens. But, Austin, I’m not your family. I’m not going to expect you to be perfect. I just need you to be honest. To try. That’s all. I don’t want anything from you. I mean, I do, but not in the sense your family does if that makes sense.”
“It does.” I nodded.
“Good. Because whatever this is—I want to see it through. Not for appearances or reputation or any external reason. For myself. For us.”
“Me too.”
I kissed her, pouring everything I couldn’t say into that kiss. All the fear and hope and desperate need to not screw this up.
When we broke apart, both breathing hard, I stood and pulled her up.
“Come with me. I want to show you something.”
I led her up to the top deck, past the hot tub and dining area, to where the crew had set up a sunbathing area. Thick cushions covered the deck, creating a makeshift bed under the stars.
“Lie down with me,” I said.
We stretched out side by side. I pulled her close so her head rested on my chest. Above us, the sky was a blanket of stars. I took a moment to simply enjoy the moment.
“It’s beautiful,” Melody breathed. “I think I feel my soul healing.”
“Your soul?”
“I read a book once about how humans needed to touch grass basically,” she said. “We’re meant to be in nature. It energizes us. It gives us peace. I think living in the city where stars are next to impossible to see, we’re missing out on one of the elements our souls need.”
I considered her words. “Maybe. Makes sense. Touching grass. Dipping your toes in the sand. Stargazing. It is all very peaceful.”
“It’s stunning.”
“Yeah.” But I wasn’t looking at the stars. I was looking at her profile and the peaceful expression on her face.
My mind started spinning.
Not in a bad way. In a really good way. But it was all so foreign. I didn’t quite know how to process all the thoughts that were cascading through my head.
I was already thinking about the next vacation. Where could I take her? The Maldives? Santorini? Somewhere she’d never been. I wanted to take her somewhere I could watch her face light up with wonder again.
And then my thoughts jumped to the holidays. To Christmas, which had always been a tense affair at the Bancroft estate. But with Melody there? Maybe it would be different. Maybe I’d actually want to be there, to share that with her.
New Year’s Eve. Dancing with her as the countdown happened. Kissing her at midnight while everyone else cheered. Starting the new year with her in my arms.
Introducing her to everyone, not as a date or an arrangement, but as my girlfriend. My girl. Mine.
And then, more terrifying, the thought of making her more than that. Of proposing. Of watching her walk down an aisle toward me. Of calling her my wife.
Starting a family. Little Bancrofts running around. Kids with her smile and my stubbornness. Teaching them to be better than I was. Building something real and lasting and good.
The thoughts should have terrified me. Should have sent me running like they always had before.
But they didn’t.
They just made me hold Melody tighter.
Get a grip, Bancroft, I told myself. You’re getting way ahead of yourself. It’s just a moment. No need to take it more seriously than that.
But even as I tried to convince myself, I knew I was lying.
Because Melody wasn’t just a woman. She was the woman. The one who saw through all my bullshit. Who called me out when I needed it and supported me when I was struggling. Who made me want to be better not because she demanded it, but because she deserved it.
And this wasn’t just a moment. This was the beginning of something. Something that could either be the best thing that ever happened to me or completely destroy me.
Maybe both.
Melody shifted beside me, tilting her face up to look at me. “What are you thinking about?”
“You. Us. The future.”
“Scary future or good future?”
“Good future. Really good future.” I kissed her forehead. “Probably too good to be true.”
“Why does it have to be too good? Why can’t good things just be good?”
“Because in my experience, good things don’t last. People leave or disappoint you or realize you’re not worth the effort. Or I do something that sends people running in the opposite direction.”
“Austin, that’s not true.”
“With you, it feels different. Like maybe good things can last.”
She propped herself up on one elbow, looking down at me. “You are worth the effort. And good things can last if we fight for them.”
“You’d fight for this? For us?”
“In a heartbeat.” She leaned down and kissed me softly. “Would you?”
“Yes.” The answer came without hesitation. “I would. I will.”
She smiled again before stretching out again. I pulled her close, needing her body next to mine.
This wasn’t just a moment.
It was everything.
She was everything.
Maybe I didn’t know how to do this perfectly. I would make mistakes. Maybe I’d fuck up in spectacular fashion like I always did.
But I was going to try. Really try.
It was my turn to roll to my side and lean down for a kiss. I ran my tongue across her bottom lip before gently pushing my tongue inside. Her hand came up to hold the back of my head, her fingers threading through my hair. My hand slid over her stomach to cup her breast.
When we broke apart, we just held each other under the stars.
“Austin?” Melody said quietly.
“Yeah?”
“Thank you. For this. For all of it.”
“Baby girl, you have that backwards.” I tightened my arms around her. “Thank you for giving me a chance I definitely didn’t deserve.”
“You deserved it. You just didn’t know it yet.”
She kissed my chest, right over my heart. “You’re a good man, Austin Bancroft. Even if you don’t believe it yet.”
I wanted to argue and list all the ways I had proven I wasn’t good. But lying there with Melody in my arms, I didn’t feel like the family disappointment. I actually felt hopeful for a future I never imagined I would want.