Chapter 53
AUSTIN
Ifelt like an idiot. Like a teenager getting ready to pick up a girl for a first date. I’m nervous. And it’s just coffee. We’re not doing anything. We spent a week together practically naked. It’s not new.
But I felt like this was a pivotal moment in my life. I knew there was a big talk coming. That talk would change everything. I didn’t think showing up empty handed was the way to go into this thing.
I tapped on the partition separating me from my driver. “Hey, Matt? Pull over up here.”
The car glided to a stop in front of a small flower shop. I had probably passed the place a hundred times without ever really seeing it. The window display overflowed with blooms in every color imaginable, but I had no fucking clue what any of them were called. I didn’t think names mattered.
“I’ll just be a minute,” I said, climbing out onto the sidewalk.
I walked in and was immediately hit with the overwhelming scent of flowers. A woman in her sixties looked up from behind the counter, her weathered hands expertly wrapping tissue paper around a bouquet of yellow roses.
“Be right with you, dear,” she called out.
I wandered between the buckets and displays, feeling completely out of my depth. There were so many options. Red roses felt too cliché. Those big white ones looked like they belonged at a funeral. The pink ones were pretty, but were they Melody pretty?
“Now then,” the woman said, joining me with a warm smile that crinkled the corners of her eyes. “What can I help you find today?”
“I need flowers,” I said, then immediately felt like an idiot. Obviously I needed flowers. I was standing in a flower shop.
She didn’t laugh at me, though. Instead, her smile widened. “Well, you’ve come to the right place. Are these for someone special?”
I nodded, shoving my hands in my pockets. “My girlfriend.”
“Wonderful! Tell me about her. What’s she like?”
I opened my mouth, then closed it. Where did I even start? “She’s unique,” I finally said. “Like, genuinely one of a kind. She’s this fashion influencer, but she’s not shallow or vapid like you’d think. She actually gives a shit about helping people feel good about themselves.”
The florist nodded encouragingly, moving toward a display of tall, elegant flowers with spotted petals that curved back dramatically.
“She’s beautiful,” I continued, the words coming easier now. “Not in that cookie-cutter way everyone expects.”
“She sounds remarkable,” the woman said softly.
“She is. And she works harder than anyone I’ve ever met.” I scratched the back of my neck. I realized she couldn’t give a shit about any of what I was saying. I was rambling. Maybe I was practicing what I was going to say to her when I delivered the flowers.
The florist was beaming at me now. “Young man, you’ve got it bad.”
I laughed despite myself. “Yeah. Yeah, I really do.”
She gestured to the flowers she’d been standing near.
“These are stargazer lilies. They’re bold and beautiful, with a fragrance that’s both sweet and spicy.
They stand out in any room, command attention without trying, and they’re surprisingly resilient.
” She touched one of the petals gently. “Something tells me these might be perfect for your girl.”
I stared at the flowers. They were striking and elegant and somehow exactly right. And nothing like I had seen before. They were unique and I hoped they were just as new to her as they were to me.
“These are as beautiful as she is,” I said quietly.
“I’ll wrap up a dozen for you.”
I watched as she expertly arranged the lilies, adding some greenery and wrapping everything in crisp paper tied with a purple ribbon. When she handed me the bouquet, I pulled out my wallet.
“That’ll be seventy-five dollars,” she said.
I handed her two hundred-dollar bills. “Keep the change. Thank you for the help.”
“She’s a lucky woman,” the florist called as I headed for the door.
I glanced back. “I’m the lucky one.”
Outside, Matt had the car door open and waiting. I slid into the back seat carefully, holding the flowers like they might shatter. As we pulled back into traffic, I found myself scratching my head, staring at the bouquet in my lap.
When was the last time I had bought a woman flowers?
The memory hit me like a punch to the gut. Six years ago. She’d been everything I thought I wanted—elegant, cultured, comfortable in my world. I bought her flowers every week for three months. Roses, mostly. Sometimes orchids. Whatever was most expensive.
Turned out she’d loved my bank account a hell of a lot more than she’d loved me.
I was nothing more than a walking credit card that would buy her jewelry and take her on luxury vacations.
She was planning to shop at Prada on a weekly basis and buy every pair of shoes and all the handbags she wanted.
She didn’t want me at all. I was pretty sure she never even liked me. The sex was mid. I should have known she didn’t like it. Or me. She wasn’t that great of an actress.
That’s when I swore off anything deeper than a one-night stand. Flowers became just another symbol of how fucking gullible I’d been.
I expected that memory to fill me with doubt now. To make me want to toss the lilies out the window and show up empty handed to meet Melody, protecting myself from getting burned again. But the doubt never came.
Because Melody wasn’t her. Melody had her own money. She had her own career. She didn’t need me for financial security. Hell, she’d been doing just fine before I crashed into her life at that wedding. Melody was strong and independent.
I was the one that was essentially hitching myself to her wagon. She didn’t need me for anything. I would be lucky if she chose to give me a chance.
If these flowers made her smile, even for a second in the middle of whatever mess we were about to navigate, that was enough for me. Her happiness mattered more than my fear of getting hurt.
“We’re here, sir,” Matt said, pulling up in front of Melody’s townhouse.
I looked at the familiar brick facade. This was it.
Whatever conversation we were about to have could change everything.
Part of me was certain I was walking into a breakup, after our last conversation about kids and the future when I’d basically admitted I had never seriously considered being a father before her.
And the fact she had gone radio silent for days did not bode well. It felt like the end. Like watching a speeding train headed for the proverbial “bridge out” sign. And fuck, was it going to hurt.
I had spent years being so careful to avoid caring about anyone or anything beyond my next adventure.
Years of keeping things light and easy and disposable.
Then Melody Stephens walked into my life—or rather, I crashed into hers—and suddenly I couldn’t remember why I had ever thought that emptiness was freedom.
If she was ending things, I would have to respect that. She deserved someone who could give her everything she wanted without hesitation. Someone who knew for certain they wanted marriage and kids and the whole domestic dream. But damn, I wasn’t ready to let her go.
I couldn’t be selfish. I couldn’t demand she put her life on hold to give me time to get my shit together.
I grabbed the flowers and climbed out of the car before I could overthink it. Sitting outside and staring at her townhouse wasn’t going to change what happened. The walk to her front door felt like miles instead of feet. I raised my hand to knock, then paused.
Maybe I should turn around. Save us both the pain of this conversation. She could go find some guy who had his shit together and knew what he wanted. I could ghost her. Hop on a plane and go to Mexico or maybe Ibiza. That was how I kept things at arm’s length.
The door swung open before I could knock.
Melody stood there in soft gray loungewear, loose pants and a fitted long-sleeved top that hugged her curves in a way that made my mouth go dry.
Her hair was pulled up in a messy bun, a few strands framing her face.
She wore no makeup that I could see, and she was absolutely stunning.
Fuck me, I missed her. Missed holding her. Missed being inside her.
“I saw your car pull up,” she said softly. “Were you just going to stand out here all day?”
“I was considering it,” I admitted.
Her lips quirked up. “Come in, Austin.”
I stepped inside, and she closed the door behind me. The townhouse smelled like vanilla and the usual citrus scent I would forever associate with her. That beautiful smell had gotten under my skin weeks ago.
“These are for you,” I said, holding out the lilies.
Her eyes widened as she took the bouquet, bringing it close to her face. “Stargazers,” she breathed. “They’re gorgeous. Thank you.”
“They reminded me of you.”
She looked up at me with a huge grin on her face. “Let me put these in water. Make yourself comfortable.”
I watched her disappear into the kitchen, then settled onto her sofa. My leg bounced nervously.
“I made muffins.” She came into the living room carrying a plate stacked with them. Then dashed out only to return a few seconds later with two cups of coffee.
And then she rushed out again.
She was acting like an angry bee. Rather, a busy bee. Clearly, she was just as nervous as I was. That almost made me feel better.
Melody returned with the flowers arranged in a clear vase, setting them on the coffee table where we could both see them. She sat on the opposite end of the sofa. “Thank you for coming.”
I raised an eyebrow. She sounded so professional, like we were going to have a business meeting.
“Thank you for inviting me,” I replied and immediately felt like an idiot.
“We need to talk,” she said.
Here it comes. “Yeah. We do.”
She took a deep breath, and I braced myself.
“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking these past few days,” she started. “About what I want and what I need. About what I’m willing to compromise on and what I can’t.”
I nodded, not trusting my voice. It was evident she had thought about what she wanted to say. I wasn’t going to interrupt her prepared speech.
“Austin, I care about you.”
Her eyes met mine, and they were shimmering with unshed tears. My heart practically stopped beating. There was a sharp pain. I knew what was coming. I prepared myself for the words, but I couldn’t have really braced for it.
“So much more than I ever expected to when you grabbed me at that wedding. This thing between us? It’s real for me. It stopped being fake the second you looked at me like I was the only person in the room.”
My heart pounded. “It’s real for me too, baby girl.”
She smiled at the nickname, then grew serious again.
“But I need you to understand something. Motherhood isn’t negotiable for me.
It’s not something I can compromise on or give up or put aside for the right person.
I want children. I want to be a mom. It’s been part of my vision for my life since I was a little girl.
I tried to tell myself I didn’t need it, but I do.
I thought maybe I could find fulfillment in the traveling and excitement of having no responsibility, but that’s not enough for me. ”
“I know,” I said quietly.
“And I heard what you said at dinner. That you’ve never wanted kids.
They gross you out and annoy you.” Melody sighed.
“I respect that honesty. But I also need you to be honest with yourself about whether that can change. Because if it can’t?
” Her voice cracked slightly. “If you hit a point where you know for certain you don’t want kids, I need you to let me go.
No matter how much it hurts. No matter how good we are together.
I’m asking you to love me enough to let me go, if that’s your answer. ”
I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees.
She was laying it all out there, completely vulnerable, asking me for something that terrified her to ask for.
Every time I saw a new side of Melody, I liked her more.
Except like was too weak a word for what I felt. It had been too weak for a while now.
“I hear you,” I said. “And I respect the hell out of you for saying that. For being clear about what you need.”
“But?” she whispered.
“No but.” I met her eyes. “I went to my brother Isaac’s house for dinner last night. His kid, Conrad, wouldn’t leave me alone the entire time. He followed me around like a puppy and tried to show me every toy he owned. Kept climbing on me.”
A small smile appeared on Melody’s face. “That sounds sweet.”
“It was annoying as hell at first,” I admitted. “But then… I don’t know. I started playing along. Sneaking him food. Making him laugh. And watching my brothers with their kids? They were exhausted and overwhelmed, but they also looked happy. Really fucking happy.”
I ran my hand through my hair. “I’ve never thought about having kids because I never thought I’d want to settle down. Never thought anyone would make me want to change my entire life. But then you happened.”
Melody’s eyes were swimming now, tears threatening to spill over.
“I’m not saying I’m ready to be a dad tomorrow,” I continued. “I’m not saying I have it all figured out. But what I am saying is that when I picture my future now, you’re in it. And if kids are part of your future, then they’re part of mine too. I want to figure it out with you.”
A tear slipped down her cheek. “You mean that?”
“I’ve never meant anything more in my life.”
She wrapped her arms around my neck, her face buried against my shoulder.
“I missed you,” she whispered.
“I missed you too.” I held her tight. “These past few days have been hell. I’m sorry I didn’t handle that conversation better.”
She pulled back to look at me. “No. You were honest. That’s what I need. I just needed time to process it.”
“And?”
“And I realize that life is uncertain,” Melody said. “There are no guarantees with anyone. But I’d rather be uncertain with you than certain with anyone else.”
I cupped her face in my hands, my thumb brushing away another tear. “You’re incredible, you know that?”
She laughed. “You’re not so bad yourself, Bancroft.”
“Baby girl, I have to tell you something.”
“What?” Her eyes locked onto mine.
“I’ll always wait for you. However long you need. Whatever you need to figure out. I’m not going anywhere.”
Fresh tears spilled down her cheeks, but she was smiling. “How did I get so lucky?” She kissed me. “I’m sorry I went MIA on you.”
“It’s okay. You needed space. I get it.”
“It’s not okay. I should have at least texted you. Let you know I was thinking about you.”
I raised an eyebrow, grinning. “Were you? Thinking about me?”
“Constantly,” she admitted. “Couldn’t get you out of my head. Cleo was ready to murder me because I was so distracted.”
I grinned. “Good. I like being in your head.”
“Where else would you like to be?” she asked, and there was a new heat in her eyes.
“Anywhere you’ll have me.”
“I think I’d like to have you in my bedroom,” she murmured against my lips.
“Lead the way, baby girl.”