7. Someone Is Watching Me
Someone Is Watching Me
Bree
‘H ey, boss,’ Jenna says brightly as she walks into my office and pulls me out of my daze. I’ve been staring at the screen in front of me for I don’t even know how long, and I defensively snap the laptop on my desk shut. She tracks the movement, and I see the curiosity in her eyes, but she doesn’t question it.
‘Jen, I’m sorry. I meant to call you.’ I shake my head to clear the fog. ‘I’m shutting up shop for a couple of days. I’m not feeling too good, and well, let’s be honest, we can stand to take a few days off.’
The thought is sobering. Maybe it’s the fact that I haven’t slept properly in so long, or maybe it’s the photograph that I can still see even after I closed my laptop, but I’m feeling lost in my career for the first time.
‘You sure?’ Jenna approaches, and I straighten, so she stops and takes a small step back. ‘Bree, are you okay?’ Her voice is softened with concern, and I nod, yes, then speak quickly before I cry.
‘Yeah, great, just need a couple of days. Go home, Jen.’
As Jenna leaves the room, I open up the laptop and stare at the photo once more. It was sent from an unknown email address, just a bunch of numbers and a private domain that something tells me I won’t be able to trace. There’s no narrative, no commentary at all, but the warning was clear.
Tread carefully, Chief…
The smiling faces of Nolan, Chief Cane, a couple of other chiefs from neighboring cities, and a couple of high-powered politicians, the kind who want departments like mine shut down and the policing handed over to the county sheriffs. Also, the kind who hates to see women succeed and would never believe their golfing buddy is capable of putting anyone through this. I know what he’s telling me: if I try to report him again, it will bite me firmly on the ass or worse. The warning is without detail, but it isn’t needed. If I don’t toe the line, there will be consequences.
Slamming my laptop closed with force, I lean back in my chair and stare at the ceiling, and then start to cry, the tears coming fast and hot as they find their path across my skin, and I lean forward, covering my face with my hands and gasping for shallow breaths. I don’t know what to do, for only the second time in my life, I have no idea what I’m supposed to do.
Sliding from my chair to the floor, I tuck myself under my desk, pulling my knees to my chest and hugging them while I cry and scream silently into my empty office. He has me exactly where he wants me: terrified with nowhere to turn for help. I’m trapped.
‘S o, you just took off work?’ Zoe’s concerned expression makes me feel nauseous. She knows me too well. She knows this is out of character for me.
‘Yeah,’ I shrug, ‘not like this is a crime hotspot. I thought Jenna and I could use some time off to spend with family.’
‘Mmhmm,’ Zoe’s lips press together, but as Bowie runs in wearing a tiara and sash over her princess dress, of course, with her Converse underneath, my twin drops the subject and turns her attention on our niece.
Bowie has become the best big sister. She is so sweet with Lottie. She helps Cara change diapers and loves giving her baby sister cuddles, but Doug and Cara wanted to make sure they made a fuss for her birthday so she didn’t feel she was being pushed aside in any way. Because of that, we’re all gathered at Mama’s house this afternoon to celebrate her birthday together. We’re going to have another celebration for the babies in a week or so, but today is all about Princess Bo Bo.
‘Hey, sweet girl.’ Zoe opens her arms for Bo, who climbs into my twin’s lap. Bowie is getting so big. Zoe and I are petite, but Doug is enormous, and Bowie got her daddy’s height. She’s going to tower over us before we know it. ‘What did you get for your birthday?’
‘I got more science stuff. Uncle Nick got me some scrubs so I can help feed the animals at the clinic.’ I smile at that. Nick loves having Jonah and Bowie help him out with the animals. I can’t wait to see him become a dad to his own kid—he’s going to be great. ‘And I got the doll I wanted.’
Bowie rushes from Zoe’s arms to grab the doll in question and my smile falls as I lay eyes on it. My heart races in my chest, and my skin heats as I know… I just know.
‘Who got that for you, Bo?’ I ask, my voice pitched even though I try to keep it steady.
‘I don’t know. Cara found it on the porch, but they didn’t put their name on it.’
I feel sick. I want that doll away from my girl. I know it was him. I fucking know it was.
‘I need to get some air,’ I say, standing, feeling Zoe’s eyes on me the whole time, but I know she won’t abandon Bowie, so I have some time.
On the front porch, I pull out my cell phone.
Me: My family isn’t part of your little game, Nolan. Tell me what you want and stay the fuck away from them.
I see that the message is read, but there’s no response and I know why. He won’t incriminate himself. My response will come but on his terms.
I’m surprised when my cell vibrates in my hand before even a minute has passed.
Nolan: Breanne, this isn’t healthy. You need to talk to somebody. Please tell Bowie I said happy birthday x
My stomach churns as I stare down at his words, and I run down from the porch around the side of the house, then throw up, unable to control my body’s reaction to the fear that I feel. He knows all about my life, my family, where they live, what my niece wanted for her birthday, and when that was. I can’t escape him, and the reality of that makes me heave once more as my stomach empties for a second time, and I drop to the floor. I feel helpless, and I hate it.
T oday, I get to see my entire family in one place— everyone , even my grandma and Cara’s dad, Andy. We’re all heading up to Cara and Doug’s place to celebrate Lottie, Lucas, and Missy’s pregnancy news, and I want to be excited, I really do, but I’m living in hell.
Missy offered to pick me up and drive me to Doug’s, and I gratefully accepted before packing a bag with a few days’ worth of clothes and toiletries. I can’t stay here. I need a few days surrounded by family, at Doug and Cara’s, or Zoe and Leo’s, Mama’s even. I don’t give a fuck, and I don’t care what questions they might have about why I want to stay somewhere so close to my own home. I just need a break.
Every day for the past week, Nolan has texted me something personal, something about the clothes I’m wearing or the way I did my hair. Yesterday, it was about the fact that I changed my perfume, which means he got close enough to me to smell it, and I didn’t notice him there. My instincts are off, and without them, I don’t know what else I have.
‘Hey, honey.’ Missy grins as she meets me at my door after knocking, and I offer a small smile.
‘You didn’t need to get out of the car.’
‘I did. Nick refuses to honk his horn in town.’ She rolls her eyes, but I just grin as I pull my door closed behind me and lock it.
Nick is a good man. He always has been, and I have known him since we were kids. I lost my virginity to his brother, and we have a lifetime of memories between us, so his not wanting to disturb my neighbors on a Sunday lunchtime does not surprise me at all. He’s always been thoughtful and caring. I guess that’s why he became a vet.
‘Chief.’ Nick smiles at me through the driver-side window as I reach the car.
‘Doc,’ I grin as I climb into the back. ‘ Buddy ,’ I say enthusiastically when my little Jonah holds up his hand to start our secret handshake, and I bring mine in immediately.
‘I missed you, Bree,’ Jonah says sweetly, and guilt hits me as I have been so distant.
‘I know, kiddo, me too. But I’m here now.’
I ruffle his hair, and he giggles, then smooths it back down, and Nick pulls his car away from my house.
Cara and Doug’s house buzzes with love and happiness as the family moves around talking, hugging, cradling babies, and laughing at the confusing jokes Bowie and Jonah think up. It’s perfect, and I’m happy to see them all, but I can’t breathe. I’m exhausted, and panic sits low in my stomach, threatening to bubble up and over at the idea that I’ve led him to them, to all of them, to the babies, to all the people I love most in the world. I don’t know what he’s capable of, but I know he’s watching me, and I still came. I came, knowing that I could have left a breadcrumb trail all the way here.
Stepping out onto the back porch, I make my way down the huge backyard to the swing Doug built for Bowie last year, and I sit far enough away that the sounds of joy from the house disappear, and only the birdsong can be heard. I swing slowly, gently, and close my eyes, forcing out tears I hadn’t realized had collected there.
‘Well, I was going to ask if you were okay, but now I see that you’re not.’ The no-nonsense tone of my grandma has me gasping in surprise and my eyes snapping open. ‘Why are you sitting back here crying, Breanne?’
‘Oh, Grandma.’ I swipe at my cheeks to wipe my tears. ‘I’m fine. I’m okay.’
‘See, if you hadn’t walked out of the house with tears in your eyes and without a word to anyone, I might have believed you, but you forget, I know you, and I have eyes in the back of my head. Now talk.’
A sob lurches from my throat, and I bring my hands up to cover my face as I cry.
‘I’m so tired.’ I speak from behind my hands and feel her hands on my arms, pulling me up to standing and into a hug.
‘Sweetie, talk to me.’
‘I can’t, Grandma.’
She pulls back, looking directly into my eyes since we’re practically the same height.
‘Breanne, if you think I’m just going to let you sit out here in this state and not get to the root of it, you’re dead wrong.’
‘I can’t talk about this here,’ I whisper, wondering if he can hear me, if he’s here somewhere, somehow.
‘Then where?’
‘Grandma, I can’t talk about this.’ I look around at the trees and bushes, all the places he could be hiding.
‘Bree, why do you look like you’re afraid the boogeyman is about to jump out on you?’
I sob again and growl up at the sky, frustrated with this whole situation.
‘Because I am,’ I admit, throwing my arms out to the side and letting them slap down against my thighs. ‘Someone is watching me.’ My voice is so little, quieter, and weaker than I’ve ever heard it. ‘He’s watching me and messaging me, and I don’t know where he is, Grandma. I don’t know if there’s anywhere that he can’t see me.’
I watch her absorb my truth. I wait for the shock and horror of the situation to dawn on her, but I should have known better. Doris Campbell is a badass.
‘Bree, don’t take this as me doubting you, but I have to ask. You’re a cop. If you know who this guy is, why can’t you do something?’
‘I tried, and they laughed me out of there. He’s a cop, too. A much more well-connected one, a detective. I don’t have any proof it’s him yet, and nothing will stop him until I have something solid.’
‘Come and stay with me. We’ll figure this out,’ she says without hesitation.
‘Grandma, I can’t lead him to your place. I don’t know what he’s capable of.’
‘Breanne, you remember that my house is safe, right?’
I inhale deeply. I remember. The van always parked right outside with the men, always inside it, waiting. The man I… I hang my head and close my eyes, pushing away memories that I don’t have the head space for right now. Then I nod.
‘I remember.’
‘Then you know, you can lead him right to my front door, but he’ll never get close to either of us there.’
She’s right. My dad’s deal from before I was born to make sure his parents were protected still stands almost forty years later. They don’t interfere with her or her life. They just stay in the background and watch. Wherever she goes, she’s protected, and she keeps them on their toes with all her traveling, but they figure it out. Her house is safe. I’ll be safe there.
‘I’ll come home with you.’
She nods, then pats my cheek and smiles. ‘Okay, honey. That works for me.’