23. I Wanted It All With Her
I Wanted It All With Her
Arlo
F uck .
Fuck me .
I fucked up. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking kissing her like that .
Who am I kidding? I couldn’t kiss Bree any other way. It was always like that with us, like we each needed the other one to breathe. I didn’t think it would still feel so goddam intense.
‘Don’t you look at me that way.’ Beans’ big eyes bore into me from his position on the sofa next to me. ‘Quit it.’ I shake my head and raise my glass of water to my lips. ‘Okay, I know I was a jerk,’ I shake my head again, ‘I don’t want to be.’
I really don’t. Everything in me is pulling toward her, but then I remember the past, and I push hard. Not to give her the message, to remind myself that no matter how much I want her, no matter how much I think about her, which is all the goddam time, I need to stay away. Get the job done and get out, despite how much it’s killing me.
Not going inside her house and kissing the hell out of her there, on her sofa, her bed, Jesus, fuck, that’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, and my dick hates me for it, but as we walked back from the bar, I felt it, the eyes on us, and I remembered why I’m here. Not only that. I remembered who she is and what she did.
Back then, when I saw her standing there, watching me get arrested, it all fell into place. I made the mistake of telling her about the job that was going to buy me my way out of the club, and she didn’t want me to do it. She begged me not to do it, said she would do anything to stop me, give me anything. I didn’t think she meant she would put me behind bars.
She’s lucky that all I did was cut her off. One mention of her name to the club and that Campbell protection wouldn’t have meant shit. I kept her safe, kept her name out of my mouth, and insisted I had no idea who called the cops, but I knew it was her. I know she’s the reason the club lost a shit ton of money and gained a whole heap of trouble, and I lost the rest of my twenties to a prison cell.
Beans moves his head to my lap, and I raise up my hand to stroke his ear.
‘I loved her, Beans. I wanted it all with her, and she fucking…’ I grit my teeth. Let it go, Arlo. It was a lifetime ago.
Every time I looked at her tonight, I almost swallowed my tongue—she looked so fucking beautiful.
‘She’s real pretty though, huh, buddy?’ My head drops back to the sofa. ‘ Ughh ,’ I groan like a toddler having a tantrum. ‘I fucking hate that she still looks so good. I wish I could just pretend to be into her to get this shit done, but she’s disarming. I need to speed this up, bud.’
I pick up my cell phone, not the burner, and scroll to her contact. I told her to only use our real phones to keep up the act. I suspect the son of a bitch is keeping tabs on her cell, and I want to push him. I need this done.
Me : Knowing you’re just next door is torture. Tonight was perfect, sugar x
My burner vibrates a response, and I smirk as I pick it up.
Bree : Fuck you!
Laughing, I raise my glass to my lips again. That’s my girl.
Bree
C lutching my stomach, I roll onto my side and curl up in the fetal position. Apparently, exhaustion makes my cramps even worse than usual.
Reaching for my cell to check the time, I groan at the messages from my group chat with the girls, The Coven :
Zoe : Morning, sunshines. Um, twinnie, I heard a rumor you and a certain mountain man were 2 seconds away from making a baby on the dance floor of my bar last night!
Fantastic, this is exactly what I need when I feel like shit. I have a headache, a stomachache, and I’m in a bad fucking mood.
Me : It was one kiss!
Missy : Not what I heard. Kacey just told me that y’all were dry-humping right in front of everyone.
Cara : brEE!!
Me : We were not, Jesus! It was ONE KISS! This town is full of gossips.
Missy : So, he didn’t use you as a human boner shield?
Okay, so that part is true, but they don’t need to know that.
Me : No! God…
I stop typing and instead hold down the button to record a voice message.
‘You guys need to stop listening to gossip. We were dancing, we kissed, that was all. Now, I got my period about an hour after he walked me home, and you know how I get, so unless you all want to feel my wrath, drop it.’
‘Ugh.’ I groan, pushing myself up out of bed and to the bathroom. I don’t want to do a damn thing today. I don’t want to get dressed. I don’t want to cook. I don’t even want to shower. I just want to lay in bed, eat junk food, and maybe cry a little, but the knock on my door reminds me I have plans today. It’s my day off, and Arlo and I are supposed to be spending it together.
Pulling on my robe, I make my way downstairs and yank open the door.
‘Morning short st…’ Arlo’s voice trails off as he looks me up and down. ‘You okay?’
‘Peachy,’ I snap. ‘I need to cancel today.’
‘No can do, sugar,’ he steps close, ‘can I come in?’
‘Whatever.’ I walk into my house, leaving the door open for him. I need coffee.
‘Bree, what’s going on?’
I hear the door close and turn to see Arlo observing me with concern in his expression.
‘I have period cramps, okay?’ I grin wide, sarcastically. ‘I feel shitty and want to do nothing but stay in bed all day.’
‘If you stay in bed all day, will you sleep?’ The question throws me off, so he continues. ‘Bree, you’re exhausted. I see it today more than I have the past few weeks, so if we cancel today and you stay in bed, will you be able to sleep?’
I hold his gaze for what feels like a long time before, embarrassingly, I burst into tears. My hands come up to cover my face as I cry, and then I feel his strong hands grip my biceps.
‘Go, take a shower, pix, and get dressed. I’m going to make you some breakfast, then we’re going to walk Beans, and then we’re getting ice cream. No arguments.’
He turns me toward the stairs and as I head up and climb into the shower, I note that the plans we made to parade ourselves around town as a couple seem to have changed for something more private, and as pissed off with him as I am, I couldn’t be more pleased.