8
Ahulking figure blocks the morning sunlight, having to duck beneath my old cottage’s short doorway to enter.
“Why the fuck is there another Alpha in here?” Noah’s chest puffs, donning an identical black Sherpa jacket to the one he shredded yesterday.
I grip the arched brick at my side, peeking around the fireplace’s edge. “Noah!”
He doesn’t hear my quiet, pained cry, his focus on the Alpha cowering in my doorway. “If you don’t get her out of here, I’ll drag her out. She better not have hurt my mate.”
Amy gasps, scrambling to shove Kira out the door. “I’ve got it under control, Alpha! She’s leaving with some serious motivation, trust me.”
None of what they’re saying makes sense to my fever brain. All I know is that I need to soothe Noah just as much as I need him.
I try to run for him, but my sick legs only get me so far before I’m tangled in my living room’s messy floor. Noah’s glare softens into sorrow when I crash to the ground, grunting in pain. He drops the grocery bag and huge comforter blanket he’s carrying, diving for me.
“Aliya!”
Hearing my name on his lips changes its meaning, sweetening my heart into overwhelm.
He plucks the hair from my eyes. “Why were you in the fireplace?”
I swallow hard, taking a few seconds longer to answer his question from how captivating his lips are. “I was scared.”
“Oh, my poor mate...” His eyebrows warp as his cool hand on my forehead tests my temperature. “How did it get this bad already?”
Amy slams the door behind her, locking Kira out. “The real question is where you’ve been, Alpha? She thought you stood her up! What if it killed her?!”
Noah whimpers as he nuzzles my neck, sending intoxicating waves of tingles down my body. “You didn’t see the note on your bed that I went to get food and blankets for you?”
“O-oh, I didn’t look there...”
Amy growls. “You didn’t leave it here, where she’d wake up? She’s half-gone already, if not more, and not thinking clearly.”
Noah shrinks. “I thought she’d want to nest in her bedroom. I-it came on so fast, and I didn’t want to wake her and make her feel worse. I’m so sorry.”
“She didn’t even know she was a wolf, Alpha. I didn’t either, and I’m her best friend.”
I can’t stop crying, squirming against Noah as he finally holds me. “Help me!”
Noah hugs me to him, wrapping me in a thick duvet that smells like he yanked it straight off his bed. I grab fistfuls of it, squeezing it to my chest. The second his scent envelops me, I gasp in relief.
Noah strokes my cheek. “Good job. Follow your instincts. What else are they saying you need?”
My fever chills have stopped now that I’m immersed in his bedding, but it’s not enough to quell my aching core. Maybe I need more of Noah.
I rub my whole body in his scent, climbing into his lap and clinging on with all fours.
But that’s not right either.
“I don’t know what I’m doing! Something still feels wrong–”
Noah’s fingertips skate down my neck, brushing the hair from it, and I freeze. My heart beats so fast that I gasp for air, gripping Noah’s fluffy Sherpa collar to pull him closer.
“O-oh. You like that?” He whispers.
When he plants slow, soft kisses on my neck’s golden spot, the pain dissolves piece by piece from the source of his touch.
“Noah... Noah, Oh, my God. Don’t stop.”
As the pain fades, I’m more than soothed; I moan in Noah’s arms, every inch of my body alighting with pleasure. He kisses my neck harder, his fingers digging into the roots of my hair as he tugs me tight against his lap. I’m wetter by the second, each kiss sending a pulsing wave of delight to my groin.
“Oh, God, yes, Noah.”
At the sound of my breathy voice, Noah’s kisses revert to rough licks. I shiver from head to toe, but something in me screams that this is what I want. What I need.
My moans revert to heavier, desirous groans, my hips wriggling. Noah growls as he licks me the heaviest yet.
“Noah! Do not mark her!” Amy shouts, startling us.
Noah pulls back, his chest heaving. “Shit, I... I even took five rut suppressants.”
Amy gasps. “Five?! Alpha, are you trying to die? What the hell are we going to do without you?”
Noah groans, scrubbing his forehead. “They weren’t working! I feel like such an out-of-control asshole.”
Amy’s tone softens, but she ravenously chews her nails like she always does when she’s anxious. “You’re not an asshole. You just met your mate, and now her pheromones are exploding, begging you to mate with her. It’s a lot, even for me as a Beta. Will you be okay while I go help my Alpha?”
Noah sighs, tracing his thoughts as his eyes roam my parents’ flowery couch. “Yes... Yes, I’ll be fine.”
“Do we have to stop?” I ask.
I hadn’t noticed I started crying again until I heard my shaking voice.
Noah’s irritation dissipates the second we meet eyes. “No, I’m going to help you feel better. I’m not leaving your side again.” He kisses my cheek, and I whimper for more. “But first, you’re going to eat something. Do you want me to carry you to bed?”
“Yes. Please.”
Noah reaches for the brown paper grocery bag he dropped with one hand, lifting me with the other.
“Use a condom!” Amy calls after us.
Noah glowers. “Thanks for the sex ed.”
Amy laughs. “I’ll come back to check if you did, Alpha! Tell your wolf that!”
I cling to him as he carries me down the hall to my bedroom, my entire body shaking. As Noah eases me onto my unmade bed, it kills me to let go of him.
Until he drops his grocery bag, fetching a colossal chocolate donut out of a second, smaller paper bag. The donut is almost as big as my head, dripping beautiful, sugary rainbow sprinkles everywhere.
Before Noah sets the donut onto a napkin, I throw myself across the bed - placing the donut at perfect face height - and chomp off an enormous bite. Sugar erupts into my mouth, enveloping my aching muscles in bliss. Grabbing Noah’s wrist, I slam the rest into my mouth until his empty palm meets my lips.
For the first time ever, I hear Noah’s full belly laugh. It’s soft and airy - a hint of the shy sweetness I keep discovering beneath his stoicism.
“I guess I chose the right heat food.” He grins, showing off gleaming incisors. My stare locks onto them, wanting them to nip my neck while his touch devours the rest of me.
I try to tell him how goddamn incredible his laugh is, but my cheeks are stuffed. “Hmph hm hmph hmph!”
Noah laughs shyly again, draping his comforter around my bare shoulders. For some reason, this infuriates me.
Noah winces. “Fuck. That was a mistake.”
That’s not how that blanket needs to sit!
I want to tell Noah this, but I’m still chewing. I fumble with his blanket like it’s a rogue snake, struggling to figure out how to soothe the irritation in my gut. The feeling is familiar; it’s exactly like a compulsion, but too strong of one to resist - eight out of ten on the SUDS scale. It takes every pillow I own, cramming them in every direction until they’re just right. When I find the perfect combination, I wedge myself beneath the comforter, out of breath.
I swallow the last of the donut.
As I soak up Noah’s sweet smile above me, heat explodes in my core. “You’re beautiful, Noah.”
With flushing cheeks, Noah’s eyes soften into an expression I can’t place - somewhere between happy and sad.
“Why don’t you call me your Omega anymore?” I ask this the second I think of it.
“O-oh, um, I can... M-my sweet Omega.”
Noah’s eyebrows raise even higher as I grip my blankets to my chest, unable to contain my smile.
But my irritation flares again when I see my hands ruining the blankets, all by myself. My eyes water. “I made the bed nice for us. Why are you over there?”
His eyes widen. “I-I didn’t want to mess up your nest. Again.”
With piled blankets encompassing me, that word fits a terrifying amount. “My nest... I... I made a nest.”
As we lock eyes, the meaning of all this pain and frustration becomes clear. I don’t just want Noah to mark me after having wild, heavy sex with me. I want him to get me pregnant. Need him to.
The heat in my core explodes, screaming that I’ve found the answer to relief. At the same time, it sobers me a little from my heat haze.
This is so unfair. I’ve always wanted a baby, and I want Noah more than I’ve wanted anyone. My stare drops to his erection, bulging through his tight black jeans; he wants me too. But even though this is everything I want - a special connection, genuine desire, and someone who wants me back - I’m still scared if I let myself go, opening up my body to him alongside my heart, he could hurt me worse than anyone has.
I cry whether I want to or not, hating the way it makes Noah’s smile fade. Noah cups my cheeks in his hands, his wide eyes dissolving into fear with mine.
I grip his hands back. “I hate how I’m like this! Why can’t I just be normal?”
“W-what do you mean? You’re just in heat. It’s okay to need to nest.”
“I want you so badly, but I’m still so scared. Why can’t I just be okay with having sex with you? I want to have a baby with you...”
Noah’s eyebrows shoot straight up. He pulls back, keeping a safe distance between us. “A baby? No, no, no. This is just the heat talking. We just met, and what you said yesterday makes me think you need to take it slow. You mentioned you wanted to have sex yesterday too, so that’s as far as I’ll allow us to go. But I’m not getting you pregnant today, no matter what you say in heat.”
I warp into heavier tears, and Noah’s face sinks into guilt.
“Fuck. I-I’m sorry, that came out way too harsh–”
“No, I said it all wrong. Having a baby isn’t the problem,” I blubber. “Why am I so messed up?! Why can’t I just move on? I do want to have sex with you. Beyond that, I’ve always wanted to marry a soulmate, and eventually, have a baby. How can we get there someday if I can’t even open up?” I can’t bear to keep looking at Noah’s terrified, wide eyes. “All I can think about is how hurt I’d be if I lost it all. But that’s so infuriating! Why can’t I just live, now that I finally feel safe enough to survive again?”
“Oh, Goddess...” Noah scrambles onto the bed. He squeezes me to his chest, holding strong against my returned chills. “I don’t know what happened to you, but whatever it was, it’s bad enough to overpower a wolf’s heat. That fucking breaks me.” His voice quivers. “I’ve never seen this in my life. Someone or something hurt you, and hurt you badly. I refuse to blame you for that.”
He’s taking me so seriously, shaking with anger like I was inside for years after what my ex did to me. He believes me, and I didn’t even give him details.
“Noah...”
His voice speeds into a frustrated pant. “I’ll never force you into sex or even dating me. I don’t own you. Fuck anyone who made you think that was normal! If you’re not ready, you’re not ready.”
I gape in awe at his fury, loving anger in a man for the first time. Relief floods my core, but grief for the past also wracks my system as I tug him deeper into my bed. This is how it could’ve been, all along?
Noah’s body is rigid when he first lays down, hesitant as I rub myself over him from head to toe.
My internal filter officially breaks. “After what he did, I didn’t think a partner like you existed in this world.”
Noah lets out the most honest whimper I’ve heard from him yet, rolling me into the tightest hug. I grip his back furiously, gasping through tears.
I didn’t give Noah details, but I did it. I told him something I rarely tell. Pride loosens my breath.
As Noah hugs my head to his chest, his voice comes out hoarse and quiet. “I want to protect you so badly. But I didn’t show up soon enough. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to stop whatever happened.”
I squeeze my eyes shut, a smile breaking through my tears. “You’re here now.”
When I try to meet his eyes again, Noah is too shy to look at first. Then I see why. His teal eyes have turned greener than ever now that they’re lined with red.
He’s crying for me. With me.
My soul splits at the seams, bursting with affection. For the first time since my parents’ deaths and rejecting my abusive ex, my heart fully opens. I want to trust Noah. With my heart, my body, and my mind. Even if it takes me years.
And to start, I want to kiss him. Hard.
Throwing one leg over his hip, I’m surprised by how easily he lets me roll him onto his back to straddle him.
Shit. The sight of him under me - my bare thighs gripping his waist - erupts heat from me again.
Running my hands up his chest, I’m elated as he sucks in a shuddering breath. His gentle palms land on my back as I lean over him. My post-braid wavy hair pools around his serious stare, shrouding us in our own secret den. As I lean into his lips, his touch on my back grows stronger - hot and urgent caresses that flutter my heart. Kissing me long and slow, Noah sends my pulsing heat into a frenzy as one hand slides up to my neck, the other to my hips.
I tilt my pelvis forward on his lap, eager for pressure, and Noah sucks in a tight breath. He flexes against me in response, startling a gasp from me as a shockwave of desire echoes through my groin.
I forgot I was practically naked. I can feel the heat from his shaft so clearly, warming the thin, soaked core of my panties.
Laying my body against his, I immerse my fingers in his thick hair before kissing him hard. Noah leans into my embrace, squeezing me tighter against him. He eases his lips against mine over and over, filling me with butterflies until I let out a soft moan, unable to hold still.
He pulls back. “Are you feeling okay with this?”
“No, Noah. The heat is hitting me stronger than ever.”
“So is this t-too much?”
“No. It’s not enough.”
Noah sucks in a desirous breath as I kiss him again, rubbing my clit against the hot bulge in his pants. His hands slide down my back to aid my movements, but they hesitate just before they reach my hips. I slip his warm hands under my lacy waistband, placing them on my ass.
He squeezes both bare cheeks as I roll my hips. My heavy rub stimulates a soft growl from Noah. I pull back this time, my heart pounding as I stare deep into his vibrant teal eyes.
“I can’t take it anymore. I want you.”
“L-like how?”
I lean over him, giving his hard cock the heaviest rub yet with my hips, his jeans rough against my inner thighs. Noah gasps against my lips, brushing them with his hot breath as his hips automatically buck into me.
“Whatever you’ll give me, Noah. I want it all.”
Noah’s eye color shifts from teal to bright green, his grip tightening on my ass. “Don’t say that. My wolf is begging for yours, but he’s too instinctual. There’s plenty he’d want to do that feels way too early for us.”
I know what he means. The urge in my core heightens, ignoring logic until it spouts declarations I’d never speak aloud. “I want him. If he wants me to please him, I will. If he wants to fuck me silly, that’s what I want too. I want my shy Alpha.”
Noah rolls me onto my back before I can blink, and I gladly welcome his heavy body on top of me. His cheeks are hot red, his stare more serious than ever.
“I’m shy... But my wolf isn’t shy about how he feels about you.”
My heart flips. I hear the beast behind his words, a low growl that wasn’t there before. With one hand on either side of my head, Noah bends to press a slow kiss against my lips.
“There’s something you’ve got wrong about this, Omega.”
Each time Noah kisses me, his lips are more thorough, stirring my heart as if it’s receiving a loving massage.
“This isn’t about what I want. This is about my wolf pleasuring the heat out of yours.”
I grip his jacket tighter, my breath heightening just before he gives me a soft tease with his hips. Heat saturates me. The need to mate with Noah - and only Noah - pushes out a soft moan.
Noah freezes, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows the sound of my pleasure. His eyes search my face, growing hungrier by the second.
I’m starving too. Except “the urge” I keep feeling in my gut isn’t a feeling anymore. It’s the vulgar, bold side of me I’ve always suppressed.
She’s me. My wolf.
The second I recognize her, she takes the lead, making way for thoughts I’ve never deemed acceptable. She relishes each fleeting second without fear of consequences; all that exists is here and now.
And she’s not shy about Noah either.
I give him a teasing smile. “Your wolf isn’t shy when it comes to me, Alpha? I might have to see it to believe it.”
Noah’s sweet scent bursts from him, his chest heaving. His scent screams one thing: he wants me. It pushes another trickle of fluid into my drenched panties. My eyelashes flutter as Noah scoops my head in one palm, nuzzling my neck.
“You’re not hearing me yet. My wolf doesn’t want to ‘fuck’ you, sweet Omega.” Noah’s tongue leaves a slow, heavy trail of wetness along my neck, hardening my nipples with excitement. “He wants to make love to you until your wolf screams for her Alpha.”
I involuntarily moan as he nips my neck, rubbing his bulge against my clit. He’s rock-hard.
But that’s not what’s torturing me the most. It’s his gentle, deep voice, still soft and reserved despite his dirty words. They feel like sultry secrets, spoken just for me.
My knees raise and open for him. Noah lets out a heavy huff as he grinds into me, increasing the pressure. And my wolf wants him now.
His hum is more of a deep growl as I smash my lips against his, sitting up to pop off my bra. Noah pulls back, capturing every millisecond of my bra straps sliding off my shoulders, revealing hard nipples.
Taking in not only my breasts, but all of me - open and exposed for him - Noah flushes. “I can’t believe you’re my mate.”
I bite my lower lip. “Is that a bad thing?”
“No, it’s... No, what? Fuck, I can’t think.” Noah swallows hard, hesitating on whether to touch or only look.
Placing his hands over my breasts for him, I lean back, keeping his knees beneath my hips. Gentle fingers splay across my breasts, each digit brushing over my nipples one by one. I shudder, squeezing his hips between my thighs.
Noah’s jaw tightens. “Fuck.”
I press his palms against me, urging him to squeeze. Despite his rapid breath, his movements are slow and massaging, running over my nipples as he kneads them rather than the painful squeezes I’ve had from exes.
Memories threaten to take over, dragging me into the past by the hair, but Noah’s slow, thorough massage recaptures my attention, cradling me in the present. Within seconds, I’m here, and I’m coated in bliss.
I hum, grinding against his lap, and Noah’s chest heaves. Noah leans over me, slipping my nipple into his mouth as he teases the other. His soft, suckling pressure makes my hips rock with his tongue, the slick muscle flicking my nipple. When he sucks the other side, the rush of cold air on my wet nipple makes my hips squirm.
I can’t take it. My skin flushes all over, craving more of him.
Hooking my ankles behind Noah’s hips, I urge him closer until I can pop open his pants before he bursts from them. Noah exhales in relief as I free his heavy cock from his boxers, only to find him dripping like me.
Oh, God. He’s thick.
Flushing bright red, Noah studies my reaction. But my wolf is impatient. I yank on his pants, struggling to pull them past his muscular ass. He easily slips them to his knees before stripping his jacket and shirt.
As I gaze at his wide chest and plump, flexing cock above me, the rising heat burns throughout my body again.
“I-I think it might take some work to get you to fit in me,” I blurt out. “But I want you to.”
When Noah speaks, his voice is deeper and rougher than ever, washing my spine in chills. “Oh, fuck. So much for suppressants. I’m grabbing a condom before I slip into a rut and can’t see straight.”
After Noah snatches a box from the grocery bag, my eyes widen as he fetches a condom wide enough to encase my garden’s juiciest cucumbers. Just as he places it on his tip, I interrupt to roll it on for him, sparing a moment to massage his shaft from base to tip.
Noah nuzzles my neck more frantically than ever, eager fingers sending tingles up my inner thigh. His warm hand stops just before my groin, and I squirm in frustration.
He purrs at the sight. “What if I used my hands first, Omega? Prepared you for more?”
I suck in a tight breath, gripping his hand with a nod. Noah slides his hand higher and higher until big fingers caress my wet core through my underwear. My back arches at this tiny touch alone, each gentle stroke that much stronger just because it’s Noah’s.
Blush creeps down my bare chest. Before I can overthink, my wolf spills the truth of my desires. “Please do.”