13
My wolf’s heat erases from my awareness as I re-enter reality. Amy is crouched on my bedroom floor, gripping her hair and stunned silent. My legs are splayed and shaking, and Noah still heaves over me.
At first, I’m elated. Then I’m embarrassed. I just had the hardest sex I could manage with this man, right in front of my best friend, and spoke like an uncaged animal. But when I see Noah’s bloody neck dripping onto my bare breasts, I forget every other worry with a horrified gasp.
“Noah, oh, God! I-I made you bleed!”
He presses my palm against his pounding heart. I’m shocked to realize he’s still crying.
And smiling. “This is the best day of my life. I don’t mind a little blood.”
Goosebumps erupt across my body. The racing heartbeat in my ears slowly links to Noah’s pulse thudding against my palm.
We’re one.
I feel his happiness - a sugary, soothing warmth filling my core to replace the fire he started when we first met. It dances with my confused, yet hopeful emotions, our unique blend warping into a new emotion by the millisecond.
“Noah, we– What is this?”
He weeps through a smile. “We bonded.”
Bonded. That word pulses through me until my heart soars. Bonding describes this novel sensation perfectly, and it’s better than anything I’ve fathomed in my lifetime. I know Noah, even though we just met. I know his core self deeper than I’ve known another soul.
But I can’t allow myself the pleasure of happiness when I see a major problem: we didn’t agree on this beforehand. Was Noah’s consent spurred by a moment of passion, or does he truly want to be bonded to me? Noah’s entire life just changed, and it’s all my greedy wolf’s fault.
I wipe his tears as my heart breaks for him. “Did I upset you? Hurt you? Is this really what you wanted?”
Noah squeezes me to his chest, smushing wet kisses onto my neck. “This is better than anything I’ve ever wanted.”
The crackling emotion in his voice makes me let out a soft sob, but a smile erupts from me beyond my control. Despite this version of reality being completely unbelievable, I can’t get over how Noah just experienced every emotion I’ve ever felt. And he still accepts me.
Not to mention Noah has been through hell also. I couldn’t sense the details, just his feelings, but I know he has a thoughtful, deep heart - one that hasn’t been taken care of, either. We can understand each other.
This is everything I’ve ever wanted too. My wolf jumps for joy.
I squish Noah’s cheeks and kiss him hard before yipping in pain. “Ow, my lip! What’s wrong with my teeth?!”
Noah giggles. “Oh, sweet Omega... Look at your little fangs!” He loops one huge pointer finger around my new fangs, making them feel tiny, and we break into laughter.
But then I gasp. “Wait, are they stuck like this forever?”
“No, they’ll go back when your wolf chills out.” Noah’s grin bursts from him - overjoyed despite the pain he’s experienced in life - inspiring fresh tears.
I cry-laugh, soaking in every ounce of Noah’s happiness as we smash our foreheads together. My heart has never been so light.
But Amy stands, seething. “What are you going to tell the pack, Alpha?! What happened to not wanting to mark her?”
My smile fades.
But Noah’s grin slides into a rebellious smirk. “I didn’t mark her. She marked me.”
Noah laughs as Amy’s eyes grow wide.
“Are you saying... She’s the new Alpha?”
My stomach drops. I grip Noah in panic, but he laughs again, nuzzling into me as he speaks through our mental link.
Don’t listen to that. That’s not how that works, but I’d also never put that duty on you. You’re a free wolf until I mark you, and you’re not forced to join my pack. You’re the only one I’ll submit to now, that’s all.
I cling tighter to him. That’s all? Noah, you just committed yourself to me, for life!
He shivers as excitement twirls through our bond, and I know his wolf probably has the zoomies.
I did. And I’m proud of it.
I’m so stuffed with excitement, overwhelm, and endorphins that I could pop. But before I can figure out how to express it in words, I’m surprised by how naturally Noah switches between our mental link and speaking aloud.
“She’s not the Alpha. Although, I did let her dominate me, which everyone’s going to get a kick out of.”
Amy is just as concerned, gripping another fistful of her frazzled hair. “They’re going to question your legitimacy as the most dominant wolf now, Alpha!”
“Just because I let my mate mark me?” Noah scoffs. “So fucking what. I’m sick of Alphas acting like they’re superior gods. It’s just giving them an excuse to abuse Omegas. There’s no tolerance for sexism in Greenfield.”
He curls me into his chest, whether it’s intentional or not. But as he continues, I’m still struggling to keep up with a second person’s emotions rippling through my chest. His fierce protectiveness runs so deep that I shudder.
“I’m not ashamed of mating with an Omega, so I don’t see the problem if she marks me back,” Noah says. “Judging by Aliya’s instincts, maybe all Omegas would want to mark their mates, and everyone’s gender bullshit is stifling their instincts. They’re the ones missing out on the best experience of their lives.”
My heart jolts. Not just because Noah just declared bonding with me to be the highlight of his lifetime, but also because it sounds like I seriously did something weird.
“I didn’t know it wasn’t normal. I’m so s–”
“No. Don’t apologize. They’re the ones who are wrong,” Noah says. Then he tenses. “Or, wait... Do you mean you regret marking me?”
“Of course not! I wanted to, from the second you explained it. If not now, then someday.”
Noah’s shoulders soften. “Then that’s all that matters. You’re my mate, and now I can proudly show off your mark to prove it.”
Amy looks more stunned than I am. “Noah, no one has come close to dethroning you, but this might be pushing it. You’re that serious about my best friend?”
I stroke his wide back, letting out a whine.
Noah kisses away my worries. “I am.”
After a long silence, Amy’s voice comes out choppy and quiet. “I love that. For both of you.”
My heart has done fifty flips, but now I can’t contain myself. I want so badly to be Noah’s lifelong mate. Maybe even his Luna. But now that my heat is clearing, all my old fears resurface with my logical mind - intrusive thoughts escaping from my lips before I can parse through them.
“What if one day, you don’t want me? What if you realize I’m not the one, or you regret being marked?”
Noah shakes his head, dismissing it without needing a moment’s thought. “I trust my wolf. I’ve never felt like I’ve found my mate before I met you, and everything in me says you’re the one. If I’m wrong, then that’s just a risk I’m willing to take.”
I have to admit, that makes my heart feel invincible. It pounds into my throat, soaking in the pressure of my mate’s bare body as he stares me in the eyes. He looks so sure of me. And honestly, I’m sure of him.
Which is why I hate watching my mate bleed.
I don’t know why, but I lean in and lick Noah’s bleeding wound. Cringing at how that might’ve hurt, I prepare to apologize, but I’m too stunned to speak as my saliva stops Noah’s seeping blood; his raw wound holes shrink into fresh, dark pink skin before my eyes.
“What the hell? I stopped you from bleeding.”
Noah chuckles, kissing my temple. “You really are a wolf. Thanks, sweet Omega.”
Holy shit. Now that I think about it, my palms and knees are healed after Noah licked them last night.
Noah is still knotted in me, his body vibrating mine with excitement. I’m dying to feel the same way, but with yet another discovery to add to my mental pile, healing saliva feels a bit too surreal. Overwhelm sinks my stomach into the mattress.
But I don’t have time to ruminate; Amy perks up at the same time as Noah. Their eyes zip to the bedroom door, and I hold my breath. When my front door slams yet again, I jump.
“W-who’s there?!” I call out.
Noah’s scent soothes me despite my nerves. “It’s all good. Just Yasmine.”
As my new guest speeds down the hall, I instinctually cover my bare breasts. “Just your second-in-command?! You’re inside me, and I’m naked!”
Noah’s raising eyebrows seem to realize all at once what position we’re stuck in. He rushes to hook the bedsheets over my splayed knees just in time for Yasmine to enter.
Her artfully messy ponytail spills over her shoulders with a disapproving shake of her head. “Goddammit, Noah. You really did let her mark you.”
Noah huffs, his smile fading. “You got a problem with her, Beta? Nice first impression on my mate.”
The Beta sinks into herself, glancing at me with sleek, dark eyes set into her olive skin. “Sorry, you’re right. That was rude. Let me start over.”
I’m awed at the woman in front of me. Why hasn’t Noah already mated someone like her? Just her essence is grand, proud shoulders squaring off to face me over wide, gorgeous hips. She plasters on a smile that I know steals hearts, her lips arched in a perfect bow. But then I spot them - four sharp fangs peeking beneath her lips. Does that mean she’s showing her wolf side? Always?
“Hi, I’m Yasmine - 99% of Noah’s brain cells.”
While I can’t stop staring at her exposed fangs, Noah chuckles, shaking his head.
Yasmine’s eyes bulge, and she nudges Amy. “Did our Alpha just laugh?”
Noah groans, burying his face into my neck. I can’t help but giggle, stroking the back of his head.
Shy Alpha, I mindlink.
Noah’s smile widens against my neck. He flexes into me, filling my belly with fizzing excitement.
Yasmine blinks a few times. “Well, shit. I’ve never seen my best friend so happy.”
Amy wipes her tears, smiling as she shakes her head. “I haven’t seen my best friend this happy either. Not since we were kids.”
Yasmine clasps her hands with one loud clap, and I jump in Noah’s thick arms. “Alright, Alpha. When your dick stops being dramatic, we’ve gotta get home. The wolves can sense you’re mated with a stranger, and they’re freaking out.”
Noah frowns. “My mate’s in heat. They can wait a couple days.”
“I actually feel better now,” I say. When everyone stops to stare at me, I cup my hands around Noah’s ear, my cheeks flushing bright red. “I think you really did break that condom. My wolf is satisfied.”
Noah’s eyes pop wide open, and within seconds, he’s stressed enough to be able to pull out. I bite my lips, unsure what to say as he stares at the broken condom, rolled to the base of his shaft. My abdomen stirs, still heavy despite Noah’s absence, and I know why: he unloaded every drop he could into me, right against my cervix too.
This is mainly my wolf’s fault. I feel a little guilty, even if a pregnancy is also what I want, deep down.
Noah’s voice is quiet but firm. “Amy and Yas, I don’t want to keep having an audience.”
The two Betas scurry out faster than I expect, and a part of me sighs in relief. But Noah still doesn’t look into my eyes, lacing his arms beneath my shoulders to lift me.
I gasp. “Noah, it’s all going to spill–”
He wipes me clean with his blanket as his sperm seeps out of me, not seeming to care that he’s dirtying his bedding. “Are you in pain?”
I give a nervous giggle. “Not a bad kind. Just satisfyingly sore.” Oh, and my uterus is cramping, dragging his seed deeper. With how grooved Noah’s forehead is with worry, I keep that to myself.
Noah only half-heartedly smiles, offering to carry me to the bathroom with open arms. I fit snugly against his chest as he lifts me, but I’m too concerned to enjoy it.
He’s thinking way too hard. As Noah closes the door behind us, I can’t stop looking at his sad eyes, the worry in my heart more nauseating by the second.
Noah holds me close with a soft whine. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
A heartache onslaught tempts me to double over as dread guts me.
Noah finally looks up. “Oh, Goddess, Aliya, I felt that pain through our bond. Are you okay?”
“Noah, do you not want kids? Not even someday?” I swallow back tears. “Please be honest. I need to know as soon as possible.”
My heart throbs as Noah aches with sadness through our bond, grasping me into a heavy hug. “That’s not it, sweet Omega. I haven’t even marked you yet, and you told me you weren’t ready to be pregnant. I feel horrible for you.”
Hope fills me even though logically, I know I should be worried about a potential pregnancy. We just met. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me for trusting him this much - unless this is just a wolf thing.
But I also know I can’t keep rejecting my needs anymore. Even if they’re illogical, my wolf might kill me for repressing myself for another second. I’ve hit my limit one too many times, often unsure why I was alive and sentient if I couldn’t fulfill a single desire. No wonder I numbed out, nearly erasing my wolf and all my heart’s desires with her.
But now I feel everything. Through our bond, I let Noah feel what I usually bury deep down – the excitement that even if I don’t end up pregnant, at least I’m dating someone who wants to have a baby with me. And the deep, gnawing pain I carry for why that never happened. How Steven held it over my head, using my lifelong dream of becoming a mother to get what he wanted. How I stuck with him embarrassingly long, thinking I was lucky he stuck with someone as worthless as he convinced me I was. I genuinely believed Steven was my only chance, wasting my life for him.
Not just wasting, but tainting. Now his abuse will likely seep into my future kids through me.
“I... I do want a baby someday,” I whisper, unable to suppress gushing tears.
Noah whines, pressing a slow kiss into my lips. “Oh, Goddess. If you decide I’m your mate, and the timing is right for your life and career, I’m giving you that baby one day, okay?”
I hide my face in Noah’s chest, not wanting him to see my warped crying face.
I’m crying not only from happiness at his compassion, but also stinging tears as the past resurfaces. This is how gentle it could’ve been?
The losses in my life are too much to bear, and Noah only knows how they felt. He doesn’t know the hows or whys. I don’t have it in me to speak of them right now. Not about this.
But Noah just strokes my back, allowing me to keep my secrets.