17
Elder Alpha Aaron wrings his hands, struggling to look Noah in the eyes for more than a second or two. “I sincerely apologize for my words earlier. I can’t say I understand the lifestyle choices you’ve both made, but–”
Noah huffs out a subtle growl, and the Elder winces.
“That was a poor choice of words. What I mean to say is that this is all new to me. But you are our trustworthy Alpha and Luna, nonetheless – that much is clear.” Aaron smiles at me in particular, and my heart flips. “I have high hopes for you, future Luna. You have our protection for life, but maybe you won’t need it. I have a feeling you’ll be our most resilient Luna to date.”
I’m stunned silent as Noah kisses my head - a subtle signal of agreement that sends my head spinning.
But there’s no time to question it. Wolves flock to the commotion outside the pack meeting center, flooding Noah with attention. As my mate is pulled away from me to support his pack, I’m left all alone, uncertain where I fit in. If there’s even space for me.
Amy catches my eye, giving me a sad smile as she approaches. “You okay?”
I huddle closer, softening to a whisper. “A., what does it mean to be Luna? I don’t understand. Am I just supposed to be Noah’s glorified housewife? A princess to tote around for looks? Or am I going to have to do what Noah does and get yelled at by Elders all day?”
Amy snorts. “Okay, if you were in another pack, I’d have to agree with the glorified housewife thing. But Greenfield is different.”
She links our arms, walking me to a quieter spot. The forest welcomes us with a cool breeze, laced with humidity to suggest the incoming rain. But Greenfield wouldn’t be green without rain, so we slip on our waterproof jackets by the time the light sprinkling shifts into a soft shower. We settle between a circle of thin, tall trees, spring flowers budding with bursts of color in every corner of the clearing despite the gray sky.
Amy lets out a heaving sigh. “Do you remember when we’d sneak away into the forest to play house, and I’d always ask you to be the mom?”
I grin. “Yeah. I figured you just liked having an excuse to call another girl your wife.”
Amy laughs, smacking my arm. “Well, that’s a fair point. But do you remember what else I used to say about your maternal side?”
My cheeks flush. I do remember, but I didn’t think Amy did. I loved what she said so much that I’ve secretly held onto her words for decades.
Amy smiles, tucking stray hairs behind my ear. “I told you how if there was ever a job to give a whole city pure mom-love, you’d be the best at it in the world.”
I bite my lips, trying not to cry.
She laces her soft fingers with mine. “Oh, babe. I said that because that’s exactly what being a Luna is. From the day we met, you reminded me of a little Luna.”
I let out a soft sob, but I’m smiling. “That could be my job? Just loving the pack?”
“Yeah, A.” Amy sighs, beaming with absolute adoration. “Only if you want it. Noah won’t pressure you, but I know he thinks the same as me. He didn’t even have to know you your whole life to figure it out.”
I hug Amy as hard as I can, blinking the tears from my eyes. “Amy, I need to know everything there is about becoming the next Luna. Can you teach me what you know?”
She laughs. “Of course I can!”
“You really think I could do it? This isn’t just getting my hopes up and getting myself into another mess?”
Amy pulls back to look me in the eyes. Her smile widens. “Look at you. Most people would run away screaming at this idea, but you’re glowing. This means the world to you, doesn’t it? That says ‘Luna,’ right there.”
I chuckle through tears, dropping my flushed stare. “I literally work at a preschool because of how much I loved that idea you planted in my head.”
“Oh, girl. Now I’m crying too.”
I laugh, diving back in to hold her. “If that’s all true, being Luna is my dream job. And I want to do it right.”
“I know you can. You just dove into a hole after a stranger’s kid - in a skirt! You’ve got the stuff, girl.” She laughs, squeezing me hard before pulling back to face me. “But you won’t do it alone. We’ll all help you.”
Hope fills my heart for the future. Between meeting Noah and his pack, I’m growing into hope’s warm, curious sensation, allowing it to exist without fear it’ll be stripped from me.
But Amy’s smile wavers. “The only problem is...”
My heart deflates.
Amy grabs me by the shoulders. “This is going to be difficult to hear, okay? But don’t let go of this dream! It’ll happen, I know it.”
“Just tell me, Amy. What’s the catch?”
“We also have to teach you how to be a wolf first, before anyone finds out you’ve never shifted before.”
“I’ve never shifted... You mean into a wolf?”
Amy nods, her frazzled stare at my reaction only bolstering my anxiety.
I’ve felt my wolf all this time, but shifting - my body jerking, growing hair, and spawning a massive wolf ten times my size - hadn’t crossed my mind as a possibility for me. Or anyone, for that matter, until I met Noah.
But I don’t think I’ll ever be comfortable with shifting. It’s perfect intrusive thought fodder.
My stomach sinks. “Is it really that bad that I haven’t shifted before?”
“Not exactly, it’s just...” Amy looks around, stepping closer to whisper. “Remember how I said they don’t take kindly to humans here? Someone shot your father, the top Beta, and Ritchie, their last Alpha. Wolves don’t need guns to kill. As far as Greenfield Pack is concerned, humans are responsible for killing their beloved pack leaders five years ago.”
My stomach rolls, making me hunch over. I can hardly even whisper my words. “Oh, God, Amy... Wouldn’t that make Noah hate humans?”
“He told the pack he only hates recreational hunters, and he doesn’t believe in hating an entire species for the actions of a few. But you have to wonder...”
I grip her arm. “But he still accepted me, without a second thought? Mated with me, then showed off my mark?”
Amy wipes my tears. “He did, babe. I think he’s serious about you, to say the least.”
No wonder Noah has kept me close ever since we got here. Our relationship sounds like a way bigger taboo than my mark.
But something doesn’t add up. “Wait, I am a wolf, though.”
“You are. At least, mostly. But the fact that you never had your heat until meeting Noah and also never shifted is highly... unheard of.”
“Even for other part-wolves like me?”
Amy winces. “I can’t say I’m well-educated on hybrid wolves, unfortunately...”
“No one else has been some type of hybrid before?”
“They have, but not in this pack. And especially not mated to the Alpha. If I’m being honest, I’ve never heard about any Alphas mated to hybrids.”
I have to take a deep breath, feeling lightheaded.
Which is when Noah’s mindlink interrupts my thoughts. Are you okay? I know you’re talking to Amy in private, but I feel something off, and I’m concerned.
My heart lifts just enough for hope to re-enter. I’m okay, thanks. We’re just talking about something heavy. I’ll be back in a minute.
Take your time. Let me know if you need anything.
I smile, wiping away my tears. Gripping Amy’s hands, I’ve never felt more afraid yet certain about what I want. “I guess someone has to be the first hybrid Luna. Why not me?”
Amy breaks into a huge grin, tackling me with a hug. “I love you. You’re such a badass.”
“I love you, too, Amy. I don’t know where I’d be without you.”
“You don’t have to know, because I’m not planning on going anywhere. We’ll get it all worked out, okay?”
“Okay...”
But everywhere I look, wolves display their affection with hugs, nuzzling, and laced hands throughout their casual conversations, and there isn’t a second of questioning their demeanor or social cues. But here I am, relishing in the fact that I let a man touch me for the first time in five years without panicking. I’ve never felt more behind.