31
In a flash of fur, Amy shoves me into the grass with her massive paw, taunting me. I struggle to my feet, out of breath from trying to keep up with a wolf. Well, another wolf. I’m a wolf too, dammit.
At least I should be.
As my nails buzz and stretch into claws with my irritation, I growl, desperate to fight Amy back. She’s not even breaking into a pant, and here I am, drenched in sweat.
My eyesight phases into a new set of colors. Sprouting fangs steal an uncomfortable amount of space in my mouth. But the moment a swirling pressure consumes my chest - my wolf attempting to enlarge my ribcage - my breath catches.
Panic shoves her deep inside me, just as Amy rounds another tree, bounding over. Amy bats me, knocking me back into the grass.
My frustration rises, but not toward Amy - toward myself. I grab fistfuls of grass to yank myself upright, urging my shaking muscles to work. But Amy knocks me down yet again.
“Ugh!” I scream, alerting Amy’s fluffy ears with a jolt.
This seriously sucks. I can’t seem to let my wolf go unless it’s in bed with Noah.
But not even Noah has been able to help me shift. Every time I get close, intrusive thoughts hit me like a truck, bending my will.
What if you fail at shifting, and your hybrid body can’t handle it?The thoughts creep through my head. You could die, leaving the pack without a Luna. All because of your inability to shift properly, Noah will be alone, forever. That is, if your death doesn’t kill him first.
I let out an angry groan, gripping my head and shaking it clear - giving into a compulsion to erase my intrusive thoughts before I can stop myself.
Amy’s beautiful, iron-red wolf pants above me, nudging me with her nose to keep wrestling.
“Ugh, no thanks. I’m done feeling mad at myself for today. My compulsions are out of control.”
Amy whines, sitting on her haunches.
I sigh, stroking her snout. “What if I’ll never be able to shift, Amy?”
Her right ear pulls back in thought. Yeah, what if? Maybe you won’t.
I groan, flopping onto my back to catch my breath.
Or maybe you will, and this will soon be a distant memory.
I smile, stroking Amy’s soft paw. Now that Greenfield’s top Alpha has swapped blood with me, I’m part of his pack - in terms of the pack bond, at least. One of the best perks is mindlinking my best friend. I haven’t needed to touch my phone for a week.
“You’re right. Maybe I will, maybe I won’t. Either way, I never thought I’d grow up to be regularly butt-naked with you.”
Amy shifts back to her human form, her fur morphing into her silky, shoulder-length hair. “Hey, I’m not complaining. You’ve got a nice ass.”
“Thanks. You literally have the prettiest boobs.”
She giggles, flopping beside me. “Come on, girl. You’re the freaking future Luna. No one will question it if you don’t shift at the welcoming ceremony.”
“I’m not officially the future Luna yet either. Noah’s mom hasn’t talked to us since I gave her a verbal takedown.”
Amy snorts. “She didn’t tell anyone you’re part human, though. Isn’t that a good sign? She obviously knows.”
My stomach curls over itself at the thought.
I feign reaching for my backpack beside Amy, giving up with a dramatic flop into the grass. Amy cackles, tossing me my clothes.
As I undo my braid, combing the grass from my hair, Amy shoots me a worried glance.
Ugh. I’m ready to shift the focus off me. “Sometimes, I still can’t believe I never knew you were going through all this on the side. Especially in secret.”
“Trust me, I nearly let it slip a million times. You just had no idea it was a possibility - of course you wouldn’t guess this existed.”
I sigh. That’s exactly how I spent 29 years not truly knowing myself.
Amy fiddles with a piece of grass. “Not to mention I was out of control back then. I used to clash with my wolf’s desires too, and it’d make me lash out. My first shift was right before winter break, when we were 10.” She winces, suddenly avoiding my eyes. “I still feel bad about that fight we had, A.”
The second I realize which childhood fight she’s talking about, I burst out laughing.
“When you called me a bitch for the first time?” I laugh even harder as her eyes widen. “So it was only your wolf who thought I was a bitch?”
Amy playfully nudges my shoulder with a groan, throwing her head back. “Stop it! I know, I know! I was losing my shit, okay?”
“I can’t believe you still feel bad about that! We were just kids.”
“It was the worst fight we ever had, girl! What if I lost you because I let my wolf hormones ruin everything?”
I grasp Amy’s hand on impulse, biting her finger.
She gasps, growl-laughing at me. “What the hell?!”
“There. Now we’re even.”
“Girl, you really are a damn wolf - a feral one, at that. Get out of my sight.” She pushes me down before I can chase after her, and I yank her back into the grass with a tackle. That’s about all we have energy for, groaning in each other’s arms in the grass with weary limbs.
We gather our things, trekking out of the forest full of smiles and laughter like we’ve had for each other our whole lives.
But as I approach Noah’s cabin for the night, my stomach churns at the waxing gibbous moon - nearly full and shining bright against the baby blue sky.
Shit, I only have a few days left to practice before the next welcoming ceremony. I’m not sure what’s holding me back from wolfing out beyond my intrusive thoughts, but I don’t want to disappoint Noah.
When my shirt catches on a nearby branch, I hear a sharp rip. My focus zips to the massive tree that has me in its clutches. I can’t pull my shirt off its branch. All I have to do is untangle it, but this is too familiar. I just keep tugging. Afraid someone will find me stuck here - catch me all alone in the forest.
This perfect combination of sights, smells, and urgency flips my brain on itself like an hourglass, catapulting me back in time.
I fall through my memories until they’re not memories anymore. They’re now.