42
I’m met with silence, which I’m relieved about – our emotions speak for themselves, burning my chest as Noah’s anger dances with mine. I take a steadying breath, and Noah rubs my back.
Unfortunately, I haven’t told him the worst of it. I peek at him, unsure how he’ll react. “I was denied a restraining order since we were dating when ‘the thing’ happened.”
Noah’s wolf is set ablaze, burning through his yellowed irises.
But I can’t stop talking. “I have no idea if he’s a Lycan, or how I’d even know. God, he could track me so easily no matter where I went if he is. You think he could be here? That he’ll–”
“No.” Noah tucks my head against his chest. He frantically kisses my mark, soothing the petrified, sour scent emanating from me. “No, he’s not in the pack. I just checked.”
I droop into Noah, swimming in overwhelm. It’s a relief, but at the same time, it’s not. Steven still exists out there, and I’ve always been afraid he’d come back for me someday. The only thing keeping me in this state - no, this country - has been Amy.
But there’s a tangible, creeping memory behind Noah’s tense glances over his shoulders too. Is it his PTSD reminding him of a past event, or should I be watching out for Noah’s well-being too, protecting him from something? Someone?
I bite my lip, struggling to keep my heart in check. “What about you? Do you feel safe here?”
Noah avoids my eyes. His thumbnail-picking morphs into an aggressive task. I sit in silence with him for a while, but as his breath picks up, I grasp his hands to stop his shaking thumbs before he makes himself bleed.
“Noah, you never have to tell me anything.”
He furrows his brows, sucking in a short, sharp breath to speak. But he remains silent. Maybe he decided against speaking, or maybe the trauma he’s plagued by stole his voice.
My gut aches for him, but it’s nowhere near the pain seeping from the base of our bond as Noah recollects whatever this is. It kills me that Noah has been carrying this agony alone.
I give his hand a soft squeeze. “I mean it. You don’t owe me any explanations, even if I’m your mate.”
Noah shuts his eyes, letting out a slow breath.
I figure that’s his answer - he can’t talk about it right now - so I settle into him with my arm around his waist.
But Noah clears his throat. When he speaks, there’s an unfamiliar darkness to his rumbling tone, lacing my body with goosebumps. “I don’t know where mine is either.”
Acidic anxiety surges through my veins. So Noah’s trauma was caused by a person, not some freak event?
Noah is such a confident Alpha. But by admitting he doesn’t know where his monster is, his wolf bristles in our bond - doubling in size and morphing into a furious, drooling beast. This intimidating display would scare anyone, but I can feel the emotions tied to it.
He’s terrified. Noah feels small, insecure, and way too exposed. Whatever happened wasn’t just horrendous but felt deeply personal.
A growl escapes my chest, my arms locking around my mate on instinct.
I understand Noah’s fears about me now. What if his abuser comes back? If Noah is this afraid, does that mean his monster is as strong as him? Even stronger than him? In what world could my part-human flesh be strong enough to fight anyone of Noah’s caliber?
A soft chuckle escapes Noah as he loosens my death grip. “My sweet Omega. Goddess, look at your little fangs extending again. How did I get so lucky?”
My shoulders soften as we meet eyes. Affection overflows from Noah’s stare, the darkness I saw moments before dissipating by the second. He’s okay. At least for now.
I nuzzle into his shoulder, letting out a grumpy groan. “I hate that I’m so little.”
Noah’s deep laugh rumbles through my chest. “You’re not little in spirit.”
I scowl, and Noah laughs again.
He kisses the top of my head. “You don’t have to protect me. It’s oka–”
“I will. I have your back now, just like you have mine.”
Our thoughts swirl, filling the silence. After tracing my cheek with his thumb for a while, Noah mutters, “We are a pretty great team. Bad things could happen again, but they don’t have to. Who knows - especially with this badass Omega by my side.”
I smile, welcoming the uncertainty.
Uneasiness mills through our bond, but so does a satiating warmth. Noah huddles into me, scooting me closer by the hips.
As soon as I’m smushed against him, Noah nuzzles into my neck, kissing my mark. Every soft press of his lips floods me with endorphins, giddy, gentle waves of affection swirling in my chest. I squeeze him in as tight of a hug as I can manage, throwing my leg over his hip.
Noah chuckles, his heavy purr vibrating our chests as we relax into each other. The sound erases every ounce of fear I felt moments before. Noah didn’t say it out loud, but his sense of ease proves it; no matter what’s to come, we feel safe together.
I bury myself in him, forgetting all about our picnic as the blanket turns into an extension of our nightly cuddle ball. Noah grips me twice as hard until we scoot close enough to squeeze out all air between us, enveloping ourselves in one collective, sizzling body heat.
We share a toasty silence. The stone’s chill seeps through the picnic blanket, keeping us from overheating. I fall into the rhythm of Noah’s heartbeat against my ear, my eyes drooping in delight.
But Noah takes a shaky breath. “This used to be where I’d go to hide.”
My eyes snap open. My focus races over the dark, damp walls of the cave - the place that held Noah’s trust when no one else could. Since I’m here, it dawns on me just how much Noah trusts me. I can’t imagine how risky sharing this den must feel for him. Or maybe I can, and I just hate that we’ve had to experience such pain to be able to relate.
Noah’s trust is pure and raw, opening his soul up to mine in our bond. I’m struck with a momentary fear: am I worthy of being trusted by this sweet soul?
But as his shy stare gazes at me with absolute faith in who I am to him, one thing is certain; I want to be this special, trusted person for Noah. I want it too badly to care whether I deserve it or not.
I grab his hand to roll us over, but Noah grabs all of me. Rubbing the entire length of my back, he nuzzles me into the picnic blanket until his weight settles over me. I cup his scruffy jaw in my hands, giving it a gentle scratch and loving how it softens the remaining tension around his eyes. We lean in to trace each other’s noses, kissing every time our lips pass one another with aching, tender slowness.
“Thank you,” I say. “For allowing me into your life.”
Noah’s shyness hits harder than I’ve seen it in a while - raised shoulders and an irrepressible grin rendering him speechless.
Putting his forehead against mine, Noah mindlinks, I love you.
I break into a smile. I love you so much.
But as I spread my thighs, deepening our cuddle ball, his limp weight over me melds our hips together. Passion strikes even lower, my pelvis tilting for more attention. Noah’s blinking softens as he strokes my head, giving my hips a gentle nudge.
God, I don’t just want him, I want to love on his body in every way I can - drive him wild with bliss. I bite my lips, vivid fantasies whirring across my mind until I settle on one: Noah’s satiated, open lips, dissolving into pleasure as I lick the bulge forming against my lower abdomen.
As lust pools between my legs, craving to summon Noah’s primal side, I offer something I never thought I could want again.
“Can I spoil you?”
Noah’s gaze zips to mine. Desire emanates from his eyes, but this is new for both of us; he’s usually the one asking for requests. My hips squirm, unaccustomed to taking charge.
Noah clears his throat. “O-okay. As long as you enjoy it too.”
We settle onto our sides, taking a clearer look at one another now that we’re not nose-to-nose. I trace a line down his torso, stunting his inhale. The sound squeezes my knees together, nudging my swelling clit.
Noah’s relaxed, wide shoulders tell me how comfortable he is around me, lying in full view despite my full focus on him. I massage his chest, dragging slow, sweeping pressure over the broad muscles until his nipples harden through his shirt.
“Would you like my mouth on you, Alpha? Or my hands?”
His shirt’s hem is already rolled, drawing my eyes to a sliver of skin showing at his waistband and dark hair trailing to his belly button. But when I speak, my eyes drop even lower; his sweatpants warp from a silhouette of his shaft to a rigid view. If I can make Noah’s cock flex in his sweatpants like that from a mere suggestion, what can I do to him with my lips?
But the sweet man can’t even look at me, still unaccustomed to being taken care of no matter how much I nurture him. He works his bottom lip between his teeth, hiding his eyes behind his hair. “I-I’d– I’d like both too much, but–” He takes a heavy, shuddering breath, flexing his abdomen and tenting his pants in the process. “T-the way you use your mouth feels good.”
With my exploding, mischievous smile, Noah breaks into giggles. The heavenly sound is cut off when I dive for his sweatpants, whipping the elastic down and dragging my tongue over the bulge in his boxers.
Noah gasps. “Oh, Goddess–”
He’s on his back for me now, just how I’d like him. I douse every angle of his clothed shaft with my tongue until the fabric is soaked. Within thirty seconds, his hips lift, pressing this hot erection against my tongue.
I peek at Noah. Flustered cheeks intensify those ever-golden eyes I always tease out of my mate during sex. It creates a sense of pride in my wolf like no other.
Burrowing my fingers beneath his boxers’ waistband, I stare at his heaving chest above me as I slowly expose his cock. I kiss and nuzzle it, waiting to add tongue until his back arches and his hands find my cheeks in desperation.
Is this what you like, my love?I mindlink.
Noah can’t respond as I drag my tongue along the sensitive underside of his shaft; by the time I reach the tip, a soft, needy gasp escapes his lips. It’s beautiful - so honest. Fire envelops my veins, a full heat threatening to take force.
But as my licks grow frantic, Noah brushes my arm with his fingertips. “H-hang on.”
I lift my chin, worried I did something wrong, but I’m met with desperate, ravished eyes.
His voice is raspy with pleasure. “Can you turn around?”
I sit up. “Turn around?”
“Yes, please. I’m dying for you to feel this good with me.”
My heart flips. He means we’d lick each other senseless at the same time, right?
“I’ve never tried that position before,” I say.
Noah’s eyes sharpen as we lock stares. “D-do you want to, or–?”
“Yes,” I blurt out. I turn myself around before I can overthink it, my skirt skating over his exposed cock. As I position myself on my hands and knees, Noah flips the loose fabric over his head, sending my stomach into my throat.
I can’t see him, but I shudder as hot fingertips trail up my thighs. They dig in when they reach my hips, drawing me to him. I try to refocus, shaking on my knees as I grip his flexing shaft. But when his lips brush a soft kiss over my clothed clit, my lungs hitch.
Just my breath lifts Noah’s hips, his tip bumping my bottom lip. I taste the salty fluid he left behind, my heart hammering as Noah plants kiss after kiss between my legs, warming my cold, wet panties.
Circling my tongue around his tip has Noah breathing twice as fast. I can’t get enough of the grateful hum in our bond to be nestled into each other’s pleasure. Its sweetness settles into my core with every tender lick between my legs. I breathe harder than I mean to, stirring Noah’s hips into jerking again. Nerves pound my pulse into my ears, but I dip my head, suckling off the new droplet forming on Noah’s tip. He hisses behind me. The sharp puff of air clenches my pussy so tight that I whimper.
Having tasted Noah, I want more. When I slip his tip deep into my mouth with shaking hands, Noah yanks my panties out of the way. A jolt of pleasure zaps up my spine with the introduction of Noah’s wide, hot tongue. My chest heaves, but I bob my head, slinking over him. He drags a gentle, wet wave of pressure up my entire core.
My hips dip, and Noah purrs, vibrating my pelvis. Without meaning to, I suck his cock hard, swallowing the heavy warmth blooming in my belly. Noah’s breath blasts against my wet pussy, clenching it over his prodding tongue.
Every vein in me throbs, warning of an incoming climax. Noah’s fingers dip into the grooves of my hips, thrusting me back into his tongue. I flex my tongue down his shaft, dousing the length in saliva. The next time I taste the entire length, I slink my mouth over him as far as I can until his hips jerk, brushing him against my soft palate. This time, I swallow him, staving off my body’s panic at such a large object in my throat.
One deep swallow is the end of Noah. He whimpers, breathy and weak against my pussy. The pleasure it induces courses through me so strongly that I swallow again, moaning between deep suckling over his shaft. With rapid, frantic breaths, Noah erupts in my mouth. His body attempts to fill me so heavily that seed spills from my lips.
“Oh, fuck,” he whimpers.
He’s still squirming below me as I swallow every drop I can before sucking in a desperate inhale.
But Noah isn’t done with me. Moaning through residual pleasure, Noah licks me faster, startling such heaving, rapid breaths from me that his tip pops from my mouth. My hips buck in the air on the verge of climax, so Noah swirls his tongue in wider and wider circles until I’m so open for him that he enters me.
When he slips his tongue out of me and down my clit, it’s his nose that does me in, nuzzling into my core. I can’t stop myself from coming all over his face, dropping my hips back for deeper attention as he flicks every bit of my orgasm from my swollen clit. My shaking legs threaten to give out, but Noah’s grip keeps me pressed to him, riding out every delighted swivel of my hips.
By the time he comes up for air, I melt over him, dropping my chest flat against his abdomen. His cock already rehardens against my cheek from how deeply he satisfied me, but Noah pays it no mind. His big hand rubs the entire length of my back, soothing my eyes into closing.
His whisper is roughened with sleepy bliss. “There you go, gorgeous. Seeing you like this spoils me more than anything.”
When I open my eyes to find such an earnest, doting smile, my core flexes, desperate to have deep, cuddly sex with him.
“Do you have a condom nearby?” I mumble.