Prologue
Chiara
“Hello, Mamma.” My quiet voice echoes in the graveyard, and the biting cold turns the words into clouds of condensation. I look at the headstone even though the chiseled lines are carved forever in my mind.
Daria Bianchi, beloved wife and loving mother.
My heart clenches painfully every time I read the gilded letters. She had been neither.
“I haven’t been here for a while.” I crouch down to pick up the withered stem of the rose I’d left there last week.
“Things are settling. Little Dante is six months old now, and he is such a sweet nephew.” I brush my hand over the cold marble to wipe away dry leaves that have fallen on the grave.
Then I lay the white rose I have been holding on the exact same spot where I placed each of the roses I had brought previously. My eyes sting.
“God.” I let out a ragged breath. “How is it possible to miss someone even though they have been such a failure as a parent and as a human being?” I remain crouched, feeling the heaviness of the past weighing down on my shoulders.
“The truth is, despite everything, you are still the only mother I had, and now that you are gone, it feels like there is a hole in my life, like I don’t know where I belong anymore.” A lone tear spills out of my eye to roll down my cheek and drip onto the marble.
“And Father…” A quiet sob escapes my lips.
“He—he’s not himself anymore. He has been drinking…
a lot.” I rub my right hand over my left arm, feeling the lingering soreness under my coat.
“Everything seems so unreal since you’ve been gone.
And at the same time, it feels like life has settled for everyone but me.
You have been the one to tether me, in your own way. ”
I pause, searching for the right words.
“Or rather, controlling me. I’ve been your broken puppet.
I let you pull all the strings. I was your ticket to recognition, and you didn’t hesitate to dangle me in front of the wolves like a piece of meat.
” I lay my hand on the cold stone, feeling the iciness seep into me through the skin.
I suppress a shudder and take a steadying breath before I go on.
“I tried… I really tried to be the perfect daughter. I was obedient, I let you rule my life, because the only thing I wanted in return was for you to love me.”
I sob quietly as more tears spill out over my cheeks. I angrily wipe them away. “But I came here to let you know that I am done being that woman. I turned twenty-six last month, and I am done cowering and letting others dictate my life. It’s time to take my fate into my own hands.”
Slowly standing up, I look one last time at the headstone. “There won’t be any more regular visits, Mother. It is time I moved on.” I linger for a moment, unsure of what to say. “Goodbye, Mamma,” I finally whisper.
Then I turn around and walk away without a backward glance.