Chapter Fifty-Four
Chiara
Two days later, Lucas is released from the clinic.
Or rather, he bullied his way out by being insufferable.
Even Damiano ordering him to stay and rest had not kept him in place.
I had stayed with him in his hospital suite all the time, safe for short trips to the villa to get some clothes and toiletries.
He wouldn’t let me out of his sight and blew a fuse every time I stepped out of the room.
I even stayed when he, Damiano, and Matteo huddled over business matters.
I was stunned to hear the extent of Manticore’s crimes in the city and the amount of blood soaking Lorenzo’s hands.
Matteo had traced their nerve center back to a cell in Russia, and they had located another in Italy.
Without the head, the foundations of Manticore were beginning to crumble, and together, the three of them are tearing the organization apart like avenging angels.
And I know that soon, there will be nothing left of Manticore and their hateful activities.
Now, I regret even less pulling that trigger.
The first nights were haunted by nightmares, but Dr. Stone—the therapist who guided me after Lily and I were abducted—helped me navigate the lingering guilt.
And the truth I’ve come to accept is clear—the thing I might regret most isn’t taking a man’s life.
No. It’s that I feel no shame for doing it.
He was a monster, and if I had to do it all over again to protect the people I love, I wouldn’t hesitate for a second.
I’ve always been seen as a shy and weak Mafia woman who could be overlooked.
But now, I realize that I’m stronger than I ever imagined possible, and I’m ready to show it, to embrace it fully.
Lucas had asked me to hide the fact that I killed Lorenzo. “We don’t know if his men in Chicago will retaliate and I’ll be damned if I put you in danger. Only D and Teo will know the truth. For everyone else, it was me, we clear?”
He has been domineering as usual, even in the car ride to his villa, he has been his overbearing self, pulling me close and invading my space as soon as the door closed on us.
In the living room, he lowers himself onto the sofa without a word, eyes glued to me.
“Do you need anything? A glass of water?” I ask, suddenly flustered under his scrutiny and unsure of what to do.
A slow smile curves up his lips. “Come closer.”
I narrow my eyes. What is his game? I move closer until I am standing between his spread legs.
“Yes, there’s something I want.” His predatory smile makes my heart slam against my chest with anticipation. He holds my gaze for several seconds before a sole word wraps around me with possessiveness and finality. “You.”
Before I can react or reply, he grabs my wrist and pulls me forward, sitting me astride on his legs.
I fall against his chest with a startled squawk. “Lucas, stop! You’ll get hurt.”
“Well then, you’ll have to make the hurt go away, won’t you?” He is grinning now and I can’t suppress a laugh.
“You’re impossible.” I start to untangle myself with a fake annoyed huff, but his grasp is unrelenting as he drags me deeper into him.
He wraps his other hand around my neck and pulls my face down to fuse our lips.
Then he tangles his tongue with mine in a scorching, heart-stopping kiss.
The all too familiar current of desire zaps down my spine, making my toes curl.
“No, Lucas!” I struggle harder now, leaning back and frowning down at him.
“What? You’re not granting a dying man his last kiss?” he complains theatrically.
“You’re not dying.” I huff, rolling my eyes.
“I will, if you get up and leave me here all by myself.”
“Don’t overdo it.” I laugh, feeling my face heat.
“No, cara mia.” He sobers and locks his gaze on mine, intense and scorching. “I’ll die if you leave me. And this time I can say it without you thinking that drugs are involved. I’m ready to die for you. I’m ready to die without you.”
I swallow hard, my ability of speech flying out the window.
He lifts his hand to my face and brushes his knuckles over my cheek so tenderly that my heart threatens to leap out of my throat.
“Do you remember when you dubbed me Phoebus?”
I nod, frowning. It all seems like another lifetime now.
“I was so pissed, because nothing was farther from the truth.”
“But…” I start, “you were dating so many women and—”
“Pretense, cara mia,” he cuts me off. “I wanted to prove to you, and more importantly, to myself, that it didn’t matter, that your vision of me wasn’t eating me alive from the inside.”
“Are you saying that you’ve not…” I trail off, not knowing how to ask what my mind can’t comprehend.
“Exactly. The moment I laid eyes on you, it was over for me.” He brushes his thumb over my lower lip, the movement drawing his eyes to my mouth. His gaze turns dark and hungry, the pupils dilating to swallow the blue.
“Since that day I first saw you, when I talked to you in your room, I’ve never been with another woman.
How could I when you are the only person I am able to see?
But I was a fucking idiot. I was convinced that everything I touched died or left.
So I told myself that if I didn’t hold on to anything, it wouldn’t rot.
I convinced myself that you were too sweet and soft for someone like me. ”
I scoff and he chuckles.
“I know now that you are not soft. You have the heart of a warrior, and you conquered and enslaved my soul.” He brushes a strand of my hair from my face and cups my cheek. “I’ve learned to never want anyone. To never need anyone. Until you.”
My breath hitches and my heart slams almost painfully in my chest.
He leans closer and brushes his lips over mine, his breath ghosting over my lips, sending shivers down my spine. Then he drops the bomb.
“I love you, cara mia. I’ve loved you the second your eyes looked up at me in your room. I’ve been obsessing over you, I’ve been agonizing over you, and when you left, it nearly killed me. Only you had the power to make the sun fall. You were my sunfall, and now you are my new dawn.”
The words crash over my consciousness like a hammer blow, making my head spin. Our gazes are locked now, his is grave and full of longing. My heart slams against my ribs.
“Lucas—”
He cups my face and stops my words with his thumb on my lips.
“It’s okay, love. I get it that you don’t feel the same way yet.
I understand. But I swear to God, I’ll do everything in my power to make you fall in love with me.
Fuck, I’ll do anything if you’d just tolerate me.
There’s only one thing I can’t give you, and that’s your freedom.
I won’t give you the divorce you want.” He swallows hard, his throat working.
And when he speaks again, his voice is gravelly.
“Stay, cara mia. Give me this one chance, and I swear I won’t blow—”
“I love you,” I blurt out and he freezes.
His eyes widen in shock. “What?” he whispers hoarsely, then swallows. “You…love…me?”
I nod, tears starting to gather in my eyes. “That’s what I wanted to say. I love you, Lucas.”
He is still frozen on the spot, disbelief, awe and astonishment written all over his face. “How…” He breathes.
I cup his face, careful not to brush against his injured cheek.
“I’ve loved you from afar for years. At first, it was just a teenage crush for the second-in-command of the famiglia.
But then I got to know the man, and I’ve fallen.
Hard. That’s why your words destroyed me.
” My tears are flowing over, trailing down my cheeks.
He brushes them away with his thumb, his pained gaze never leaving mine.
“What you heard the night of the gala was me denying what my whole being was trying to tell me. If you had stayed for half a minute longer, you would’ve heard that I told Tiffany no and went back inside to look for you.
But I can’t unsay what you heard, and I know I was the worst idiot that existed.
Still am. Because I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I’m hoping for it anyway.
Hell, I’ll take anything you’re ready to give me.
I’ll be the hero you want, I’ll be the villain for you, I’ll be your Phoebus if that’s what you want.
I’ll be whatever you need me to be, as long as it’s me you need. Just stay with me.”
I slowly shake my head. “You don’t understand. I don’t want you to be either.”
He stills, confusion and dread creeping into his gaze.
“You never were the hero or the villain,” I whisper. “What I didn’t understand until now, is that you were something else. Something bigger.” My voice trembles, but I hold his gaze. “You were the cathedral.”
He frowns and opens his mouth to reply, confusion written on his face, but I silence him with my thumb on his lips.
“At first, you felt like this immense and unstoppable force. People looked at you with awe and admiration. I was looking at you the same way,” I admit. “Then you became my cage, the stone walls I couldn’t escape from when you cornered me and left me no way out.”
He starts to shake his head, devastation flashing in his eyes, but I go on.
“But now”—my voice softens and I tenderly brush my thumb over his lips—“you are my sanctuary, Lucas. The place I feel safest.”
His breath catches for a beat then shudders against my thumb.
“You protect me, but you don’t try to break me into something else. You accepted me…all of me. With you I am myself at last, I am free.” I draw in a shaky breath. “So, you see…you have more than my forgiveness. You have my trust…my love.” I brush my palm over his uninjured cheek.
The gaze he gives me is wrecked, but there is a new light shining in his eyes. “You love me,” he repeats as if not believing the words.
I nod with a watery smile.
He lets out a shaky breath. “I must be dreaming,” he mutters. “Or I’m dead and somehow ended up in heaven. Punch me, cara mia. I need to know this is real.”
I snort out a breathless laugh. “I’m not punching you, Lucas!”
He grins slowly. “Then make love to me. Show me it’s real.” His mouth crashes over mine, hot and demanding.
And I open for him, letting him in, tangling my tongue with his. Red-hot need ignites low in my belly and I moan into his mouth.