87. Dollie—present day #2
“His parents thank you.” The Great Natalia smiles at Valaria. Her still squinting eyes move to Ambrose, and then roll to the back of her head. Staying there, exposing the whites of her eyes to us.
I’m ready to leave my chair and run. She looks like something I could envision in a ghostly horror movie.
“Mom says sorry.” Natalia’s eyes are still somewhere in the back of her head. “Sorry that they don’t get to see the real you. That all this happened because of what she and Dad did.”
They, meaning all the people in here, who are almost as unnerved as I am.
“She loves you.” Her eyes return to the front, but she isn’t looking at Ambrose, she’s looking through him.
Ambrose doesn’t move.
If I didn’t know him as well as I do, I may not notice the way his mouth parts to breathe, the way his eyes widen slightly, the sadness that shines in them.
He’s affected by this. By Mom being here.
I find myself playing with his hair, my eyes watering because I’m sorry too. My mouth moves to say it, but he silences me by putting his lips on mine.
No one dares to say a word.
“She has something to say that’s a little personal. Are you okay with that?” Natalia asks, finally looking present in the room.
He nods.
“You must never try to end your life again. You’ve been through so much, and she’s sorry you’re hurting.
And I see that. I see all . But that is not the answer.
She’s aware of the situation—the love between you and your sister.
She wants you to know she isn’t mad.” Natalia’s gaze moves to me.
“She isn’t mad at you, either, sweety. She and Daddy love you so much, Princess. ”
That word has tears flooding from my eyes.
“They are so sorry for the childhood you had,” Natalia passes along the message with her hand pressing to her heart.
“They are sorry for the pain that they caused to you both by being selfish. By wanting a nice home for you guys to grow up in and jeopardizing your childhood for some book deals that would fund it. They didn’t know you’d be hurt in the ways you were.
They didn’t know of the repercussions it would have on both of you mentally, and they blame themselves for what came afterward. ”
Everyone’s stare feels heavier on us, even Annabelle’s.
My pink painted nails stab into Ambrose’s thigh through his jeans, and I breathe hard. His hand tightens on my shoulder and pulls me closer. His wet cheek grazes mine as he leaves a kiss on my neck.
“Dad agrees. He doesn’t want you crying, guys.
He says that he and your mother disrupted your entire childhoods, sending you to live with that monster, staging a kidnapping.
He doesn’t want your adult lives ruined, too.
He also agrees with your mother that what they did hurt you in ways they never expected, and they never expected the suffering both of you have every single day.
He thought this monster was just going to watch over you.
That you wouldn’t be disfigured and scarred while in his care, he was someone they knew and trusted. And he’s sorry. He’s so sorry.”
“Do they know that we love them?” I stutter out through tears.
“He says, we know, princess. We love you, too. And you, champ, I’m so incredibly proud of you.
The things you’ve had to deal with. The life you’ve had to live, when all you ever did, was be a great son, an amazing brother.
A protector, and a man so much better than me.
” Tears stream down The Great Natalia’s face.
“I’m gonna close this soon. They have one last thing they want to say to you both.
What you have going on now, they aren’t mad or ashamed.
They love you individually and for how you somehow keep your perfect counterpart safe.
For a long time, they thought it wouldn’t be accepted.
But you’ve never needed anyone else to survive, and they want you to know that they are happy that you’re both doing all you can to survive.
They love you, and they wish you a better future than you’ve had a past. Use some money from that house that you’ll never want to step foot in again, and buy the dog her own sofa and Dollie a new clover necklace.
Shane got rid of the last one. They’re sorry about that too—that whole relationship and the things he did.
If Dad has anything to do with it, he won’t be waking up.
Oh, and one more thing. He surprisingly likes Bubbles.
Now, I’m gonna end this here, on a happy note, because the emotions in this room are getting so heavy.
” Tears stream from The Great Natalia’s eyes and my own. “Bless them. Bless you.”
She steps away.
Whispers start again. This time, they’re all about our mother and father and what they did to us.
But I zone out, focusing on the last words from my parents.
They accept us. Together. They still love us.
It’s the closure I need.
And while I can’t wait to leave here tonight, I’m feeling broken, sad, and a little lost, but I know it’ll be okay because I have my person, and he feels all those things too.
“How about we get out of here and get a Hawaiian pizza on the way home?” He kisses my cheek, his own still wet, like mine.
Turning to him, I nod and wipe a tear from his eye.
“I told you it would be fine.” His dimple pops as he smiles.
He did, and he was right, because being sad and broken is okay, as long as we’re together.
We’re still whole together.