Chapter 33
33
MILA
“I want to investigate my mother’s death, and I was hoping you’d help me,” I said quickly.
After stewing over this for a week, I’d asked them to meet with me. It had bothered me since Ethan and I talked about it, but I didn’t have time to think about it then, much less do anything about it, but now I did. I’d been home for a week with nothing to do because Jax and Brody were only assigning me small jobs, which I understood. However, I needed more to occupy my mind.
This was doing a fantastic job of giving my obsessive mind something to focus on, especially considering Ethan and I weren’t speaking. Actually, not speaking would indicate I’d seen him, which I hadn’t. He was back to installing security systems, which meant we didn’t cross paths too much. Before this case, we’d see each other in the gym or in meetings, but I hadn’t been going to the gym because I was avoiding the awkwardness between us. Since we got back, we’d only sat through one meeting together. However, that was changing this morning, and I was afraid of what that would look like. Because I knew we’d be seeing each other today, I’d texted him last night to gauge the waters. He said he was good and spending all his free time with Riley and Everly.
That was it.
That was all I heard in a week, and I wouldn’t have gotten that much if I hadn’t reached out first. I wasn’t sure what changed, but everything did the moment he pushed into the room where Samson was holding me.
I knew he didn’t love the idea of keeping our relationship private when I first suggested it, but I thought he would at least consider it or let me explain. But he didn’t. He just shut it down as if everything in Devil’s Lake meant nothing. I thought at the very least he’d be willing to compromise, but he wasn’t and, in the end, neither was I.
I wasn’t sad, and I didn’t feel rejected. I was pissed, and I needed a place to channel all that anger. What better place to put it than on the other man in my life who’d disappointed me?
Brody and Jax shared a look, which I thought was odd before Jax finally replied. “Why?”
“Because I think my father had something to do with it,” I replied honestly.
Jax got up and circled his desk before closing the door. Once he returned to his desk, he started talking. “That investigation was already done.”
“What do you mean?” I sat down in the chair across from him.
“After your mother’s death, the FBI director opened a quiet investigation into your father.”
I was stunned by that information. “Why?”
“Because the director at the time thought he may have had something to do with it.”
“And...” I gestured for him to continue.
“And they found no evidence. The toxicology report found alcohol in her system. Her injuries were consistent with a fall down the stairs.”
“Which could've happened if she was pushed,” I pointed out.
“That’s true, but unfortunately, they couldn’t prove that. There was no evidence to support it.”
“Why did the director open that investigation? My dad always seemed to be revered at the Bureau,” I asked the most obvious question to me.
“The director and your mom were involved in a relationship. His argument for opening the case was that your mom planned to leave your father and take you with her. According to a conversation between the director and your mom, she’d planned on telling your dad the night she died. But they had that conversation in person, so the only two people who knew about her plans were the two of them. There was no record, so it didn’t hold any weight. They still opened the case and investigated but couldn’t find anything to substantiate what the director claimed.”
Disappointment flooded me. “So they closed the case?”
“They did. It was deemed an accident.”
I ran my hand over my forehead. “Do you believe it was an accident?”
“It doesn’t matter what I believe.”
“It does to me,” I answered honestly.
He glanced at Brody before frowning in my direction. “I’m not sure my opinion will help you move on, but since you need this, I’ll tell you.” He waited for me to nod before continuing. “Brody and I reviewed the case not long after you started. Because we don’t like surprises, we do a complete investigation into the history of our employees. We read over the reports and even spoke to that director who retired not long after your mother’s death, and he felt strong in his conviction that her death was not an accident. I believe him, but I can’t prove it. And neither could he.”
My heart sank when I realized there was nothing I could do. If these men couldn’t find the evidence to back it up, then there wasn’t any to be found.
“What happened to her wasn’t fair, but I’m sure she knew what she was about to do was dangerous. She was attempting to start over for both of you, and you have to appreciate her courage.”
“Especially going against a man like my father,” I concluded, and he jerked up his chin. Something had bothered me since meeting with my father, and I assumed now was the best time to ask. “Why is he leaving me alone?” I glanced back and forth between Brody and Jax. “I walked out of his office that day knowing I would hear from him sooner than later, but I haven’t. He’s been silent.”
A slow grin spread across Jax’s mouth. “I talked to Director Reed the day you shared that information with us. After discussing the case we just closed and what our help could mean, he agreed there would be no more offers for you to return to the FBI.”
“Why would he just agree to that?”
Brody leaned his hip against the desk. “Because he wanted this case solved badly enough, he would give us whatever we wanted. The FBI refused to open this case without more to go on, and we were willing to provide that with certain stipulations.”
Jax nodded and added, “I also explained that if your father harassed you in any way, Elite would make it their personal mission to dig out every skeleton in the FBI’s closet, and with Kyle on our team, they know that’s a very real promise. They also know Brody and me well enough to know we don’t make idle threats.”
“I don’t understand why you’d put yourselves in that position.”
“Two reasons. The first is we need your head in the game. You’re an asset to our team, but only if you remain focused. We think your father is a distraction.” I nodded because that made sense. I was distracted after I met with my father the last time, but I hadn’t thought it was noticeable. And maybe it wasn’t to the average person, but Jax and Brody were not average. “The second reason is that you’re family. Everyone who works for Elite is here because we value and respect them, but also because we consider them family. In our experience, we can only be successful if everyone on the team supports the others.”
Brody sat on the edge of the desk. “Our family means everything to us. The one we were born into and the ones we’ve created. No one…” He shook his head slowly. “And I mean no one, Mila, will cause pain to anyone in our family without retribution.” His stare was intense when he finished speaking. “And that includes your father.”
When tears threatened, I swallowed them back, not wanting to make Jax or Brody uncomfortable, but they had to know how much that meant to me. I’d felt alone for so long, but I wasn’t alone anymore. They proved that by their actions. They had no plans to tell me they threatened my father to leave me alone. They took care of it for me so I could start to rebuild my life the way I wanted it to be.
“I appreciate that,” I replied sincerely.
“We know.” Jax grinned.
“We’re good?” Brody asked, and I nodded before he continued. “If any new evidence comes up, we’ll follow that lead.”
“Okay.”
Brody studied me for a minute and ran his hand over the back of his neck. “I need to ask you a personal question.”
I glanced at Jax, but he put his hands up and settled into his seat, telling me this was Brody’s question, so I focused on him. “Okay.”
“You need to understand I don’t get involved in this shit, but I have a feeling that some comments I made may be at the root of this.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “What’s going on with you and Ethan?”
My eyes widened because that was the last question I’d expected Brody to ask. I shook my head and told him the truth, as of now, anyway. “Nothing. Absolutely nothing.”
Brody ran his hand over the back of his neck. “That’s what I was afraid of.”
“I don’t understand,” I admitted.
Jax chuckled. “Brody’s trying to find the words to tell you he screwed up.”
Brody grinned and dropped his head before meeting my eyes. “He’s right, I screwed up. Before you and Ethan left, I pulled him aside and told him not to pursue anything with you.”
“He told me, but I don’t understand why you told him that.”
“Because I didn’t want either of you to be distracted. I wanted this fucking case over. For Striker, for Beth, hell, for all of us. We’ve been chasing these damn Sullivans for years, and this was our shot at ending it. I didn’t want anything to get in the way.”
I wanted to be honest with Brody and Jax, but I also didn’t want to admit to anything that happened between Ethan and me. It was personal, and I wanted it just to be ours. That was hard to do when everyone worked so closely together. If I was being honest with myself, I also didn’t want them to judge me for anything that happened.
“You were right to do that, Brody. We did need to stay focused. The truth is Ethan’s better at working on a team and respecting team boundaries. I’m used to being undercover, and that’s an entirely different animal.” I shrugged. “Most of the time, whatever happened on an undercover case stayed with the case. This team doesn’t work that way, so you were right to ask Ethan to keep everything professional.”
Brody’s eyebrows drew together. “You realize there’s no judgment here, right? Shit happens.” He gestured back and forth between himself and Jax. “We know that. We knew what could happen if we brought you on.”
My back straightened at his choice of words, and I immediately felt defensive. “I worked this case as hard as I’ve worked every case in my career. I never lost focus. I never…”
“Whoa.” Brody held up his hand. “Mila, this isn’t a personal attack. You did a hell of a job. We trust you, and we trust your judgment.”
I looked back and forth between them. “Then I don’t understand what you’re saying.”
“We’re just pointing out that there’s an obvious divide between you and Ethan since you got back,” Jax said, and I looked in his direction.
“We’ll fix the divide,” I promised adamantly. “We just need a little time. Our situation was intense. We practically lived together for a month. We just need time to get back to what we knew before Kevin Samson hit our case list.”
Jax nodded, but then he leaned forward in his chair and rested his elbows on his desk. “At some point in this conversation, we hit a nerve with you, but you can relax. You no longer work for your father, Mila. We are not micromanaging every step you take or every decision you make. We respect you. We trust you. You wouldn’t be here if we didn’t.”
My shoulders relaxed as he spoke, and I realized I was reacting exactly as I always had when my father would call me into his office for what could only be deemed an interrogation.
I swallowed hard and nodded. “Sorry about that.”
“You don’t need to apologize,” Jax replied. “You need to change how you think you’re perceived. You have a place here. Your abilities are equal to everyone else’s on the team. You have no reason to hide shit that you think is going to put you in a poor light, including your sexual preferences.” My eyes widened slightly while he talked. “I get why you said that, and I might have to in your position, but those issues were Striker’s, not yours. We let it slide because it helped you transition easier, but that’s the survival shit you brought with you from the FBI, and we don’t want it here. Secrets have no place on this team.”
“That includes a relationship with someone else who works here,” Brody concluded.
“We’re not in a relationship,” I answered immediately, but I could tell by their faces that they suspected something.
“We don’t give a shit if you are.” Jax sat back in his chair. “We just need to know when or if that changes so we can make the necessary adjustments to keep this team together. We built this team very carefully, and we’re not willing to lose anyone. Honestly, we can’t afford to lose anyone. When we saw what skills you could bring to the team, that completely overshadowed any possible relationships you might have with another employee. I don’t give a fuck what people do in their personal lives, but in our business, personal and professional shit often collides. We’re not asking for details. Hell, if you started giving them, I’d shut you down, but we can’t manage this team effectively if we’re kept in the dark.” Jax lifted his eyebrows. “Fix it. Whatever that looks like, we’ll deal with it.”
“Understood,” I agreed, and I did understand. I just had no idea how to fix something that was so broken.
“We’re already dealing with Striker and Beth.” Jax shook his head. “You two would be easy compared to them.”
I glanced between them. “What do you mean?”
“He means Striker’s a pain in the ass whenever he knows Beth is in the office and he doesn’t have eyes on her.” Brody snorted. “I wish he cared as much about our opinion as you do.”
I smiled. “You and Striker have history. I think he feels pretty confident he’s not going anywhere.”
“And neither are you.” Jax pushed to stand, and I took that as my cue that the meeting was over. “You’re worth a hell of a lot, and it’s a fucking shame that your father convinced you otherwise.”
I nodded, but I couldn’t deny that because he had, and he’d obviously done a good job, considering how I’d been handling myself.
I turned toward the door but looked over my shoulder when Jax called out. “We’re not only having this conversation with you. You just got to us before we could call you in.”
They couldn’t possibly know how much it meant to me that they weren’t just singling me out. Or maybe they did. Jax and Brody seemed to know a lot that was never spoken.
“See you at the meeting in an hour.”
“I’ll be there,” I promised as I closed the door behind me.
What I didn’t say was how much I was dreading it.