Chapter 1
Alana
October 2024
Year from hell was a stupid fucking phrase. Hell sounded like a better time than what I’d been through. At least in hell, you could expect that there would be an eternity of torment. Plus, you’d earned your place there. That is if the religious nuts are to be believed.
Life was actually so much worse because it led you on and made you believe things were going to work out for you, then it snatched that shit right out of your hands like a greedy bitch.
My fiancé died suddenly eleven months ago. It was tragic and heartbreaking, obviously, but it was an accident. The neighbors who lived in our duplex forgot that candles were burning when they left the house and it looked like their cat had knocked one of them over. It caught the curtains on fire and, voila, it was a recipe for trauma and the end to my relationship of nearly twelve years.
I’d been on a field trip at the time and Jake, well… He was drunk, according to the tox screen. He hadn’t been badly burned, but by the time the firefighters came, smoke inhalation had claimed his eternal soul or whatever. All because of a candle and a cat. I never asked if it survived. If I found out that it hadn’t, I’d probably go completely off the deep end.
As I erased the words on the whiteboard, I felt eyes on me. Turning, I found Jane, the teacher whose classroom was next door to mine. Her dark hair was in her signature pigtails and she was staring at me in that creepy way I’d come to despise since Jake’s death- rueful smile, hands in an awkward position, sad eyes, and enough intensity to make me wonder if I could manage to jam an expo marker into her eye socket.
Pity. I hated it. One would think it’d disappear after almost a year, but some people held onto it for too long and I had no idea why.
“How are you, Jane?” I asked, returning to my task.
“I’m good, I’m good,” she crooned.
“Can I help you with something?”
“Oh, I wanted to check in. It’s been a while.”
“We talked earlier this week.”
She took a step closer. “About work, yeah. I wanted to see how you’re doing. It’s been almost a year.”
I clenched my teeth and focused on clearing the last of the words from the board. When it was clean, I considered using the spray on it, but I was pretty sure Jane was going to stay here until I left, so screw that.
“Everything is good,” I said with a smile. “Time heals all wounds, as they say.”
“Is that true?”
I sighed. “I don’t know, Jane. Excuse me.”
After grabbing my backpack from under my desk, I moved toward the door. She followed me out, then waited as I locked it. If I thought I’d escape by heading down the hall, I was mistaken.
What could she possibly want?
“Halloween is in two days,” she chirped from my side.
“Yes, it is.”
“I noticed that you didn’t sign up as a volunteer for the trunk-or-treat event.”
“No, I have plans.”
We were here five days a week, sometimes more. Not only did we deal with teenagers suffering from raging hormones, but we were also underpaid and overworked. It baffled me that anyone would want to volunteer to spend more time here. For free, nonetheless.
Maybe I was a bad person. It was something I’d thought about a lot since Jake died. More and more, I found myself being cynical and feeling a general sense of discontentment toward humanity in general. So many people were kind after it happened, but I couldn’t help convincing myself that they didn’t actually care. They were going through the motions of what altruism was supposed to mean and doing what was expected when someone died.
Worse, they could be acting genuine. That sort of made me nauseous. I didn’t want their pity and their kind gestures. A fridge full of shitty casseroles was meant to help me through the ‘dark times.’ They didn’t help at all. In fact, my best friend Jayce threw most of them away because I barely ate the first month and he hated casseroles. According to him, they were a crime against humanity and disrespectful to the grieving. He might be a little dramatic.
I didn’t purposely waste the food, but I still felt shitty about it. My parents always guilted me by reminding me that there were starving kids in the world. Sorry, kids. Grief was a bigger beast for me at the time.
“You should really stop by,” Jane went on. She might have been talking the whole way to the parking lot, but I’d never know. “Principal McKay works so many hours. Any stress we can take off of his shoulders would be a blessing for him.”
Offering her a sickly sweet smile, I unlocked my SUV. “I’ll totally consider it.”
“See you tomorrow,” she called as I quickly shut the door and backed out of the spot.
“Yeah, see you tomorrow,” I muttered. “Unfortunately.”
If one of my seniors tried to make another ridiculous excuse for not having their project finished, I might decide that sacrificing my soul to Lucifer was a better option than working at a high school. Seriously, why had I thought teaching minors was a good path for me? I’d always intended to go back to school for a higher degree so I could teach at the university level, but that dream seemed impossible now, so it looked like I was stuck with seventeen-year-olds. Better than kids, but still.
As I pulled up to my apartment, I grimaced. My old duplex I’d lived in with Jake wasn’t anything grand, but at least it had a driveway and a small backyard. Plus, I wasn’t surrounded by a bunch of other tenants. I’d managed to get a second-floor unit here, which I’d been adamant about for obvious reasons. If someone really wanted to hurt me, I was sure they wouldn’t be deterred, but it made my place less desirable for crimes of convenience. Allegedly.
After Jake died, I stayed with Jayce for a couple of months. He’d insisted that I should just move in with him so that I wouldn’t be alone, but I needed my own place. He was amazing and had helped me through the initial pain of my loss. We saw each other at least twice every week. Living together, though, was bound to fuck up our relationship. I’d seen friends have a major falling out after trying to be roommates and I couldn’t stand the idea of that happening with us.
Besides, I was twenty-six. It pushed my budget to live by myself, but it was the natural progression of life to go out on your own.
Since he’d been worried about me, I’d let him install a digital door lock system that would alert both of us if anyone tried to break in. That made me feel a little better. The only two who had a code were me and him. He only lived a couple of miles away, so he’d be here within ten minutes if anything ever happened- probably faster than the police. He was huge too and I had no doubt he’d take down anyone who wanted to hurt me.
I punched in my code to open the front door, then let out a heavy breath once I stepped inside. Another day done. Another to get through tomorrow. Halloween was on Thursday and the school decided to give the students Friday off. I was going to do everything in my power to catch up on my work so that I could have a free day too. God knows I needed that.
My phone started vibrating, making me groan. Speak of the devil. He always seemed to know when I got home.
“Roadkill café,” I answered. “You kill it, we grill it.”
Jayce’s deep laugh made me smile. “So, you forgot to take your crazy pills again, I see.”
“Ha ha. Why are you calling me?” I stripped out of my shirt and tossed it into my room. It landed on the floor, which was fine. I’d get to it. Eventually.
He hummed thoughtfully. “You should be jumping for joy and thanking me.”
“Alright, I’ll bite. Why am I thanking you?”
“Because I did it.”
“Did what?”
“ It .”
I stopped in the middle of throwing a frozen pizza in the oven. “You’re kidding.”
“Nope. This is not a drill. I’ll come over and we can pop a fresh bottle of this stuff.”
“Hell yes- Wait.” I checked the date on my phone and nearly stomped my foot. “I have something to do tonight.”
There was a short silence on the other end. “More important than this?”
I wanted to say no. We’d been working on this for years, ever since we were broke college students. Bailing on my plans sounded like an amazing idea considering I’d been going back and forth about canceling for a week already. It was important, though- a positive move toward a life that wasn’t overshadowed by a dead fiancé. That was a step away from being a widow and I didn’t want it to define me.
“Yeah, I’m sorry. I have… a date.”
It was stupid to feel like I was doing something wrong. Jake was Jayce’s brother, but we’d talked about how shitty it would be when I put myself out there again. He knew it would come eventually and I didn’t think that he would be upset about it.
So, why did I feel such a sense of shame right now?
“A date,” he repeated. “Last minute thing?”
“No, I’ve had it planned for a week. I wasn’t sure about it, but I think I need to, you know?”
“Yeah.” Silence again. “Yeah, yeah. It’s a step, right? You could’ve told me, though.”
“I wasn’t sure if I’d go through with it and telling you made it feel locked in, I guess.”
“You know I’ll support whatever you decide to do, Alana.”
I shivered a little. “I know, Jayce. Rain check?”
“Sure. Maybe we can crack it on Halloween.”
I snorted a laugh. “If Jane doesn’t physically force me to go to the trunk-or-treat at school.”
“If she does, I’ll cut off her stupid fucking pigtails. Or I’ll kidnap you,” he added with a laugh.
“Maybe you should. God knows I need the excitement in my life.”
“Rope or zip ties?”
“Hm. Rope.”
“Gag or duct tape?”
Shaking my head, I started rifling through the clothes in my closet. “Neither. Don’t you want to hear me scream?”
“Alright, Alana.” His voice had taken on a darker quality that sent a chill down my spine. “Mask or no mask?”
I tried to keep my breathing even as I pulled out a pair of nice black skinny jeans. If I wore a pretty shirt, it would be appropriate attire for dinner. The alternative was a dress and that wasn’t about to happen.
“Alana,” he prompted, almost musically.
“Mask, for sure. Kidnappers are never actually sexy.”
When he laughed, he sounded more like his usual self, thankfully. Jayce was absolutely sexy, just like his brother, of course. The thought immediately made my chest ache.
“Fine, go on your date, but I’m claiming you for Halloween. No exceptions.”
“I’m yours for the whole night,” I agreed. “Don’t tell me we’re going to a party, though. We’re too old.”
“We’re single, hot, and have no kids. Don’t pull that ‘too old’ bullshit with me.”
With a growl, I shimmied the pants over my ass. Had I gained a few pounds? I needed to delete all the food delivery apps on my phone and force myself to bring lunch to work, but have you met Taco Bell? It was a sad girl’s wet dream and that was saying something considering depression had killed my sex drive this year.
“Are you jogging?” Jayce asked. “You sound out of breath.”
“Go enjoy one of your cool bottles of wine, bitch face.”
He was still laughing when I ended the call. I sat on the edge of the bed to let my heart rate slow down.
Fucking skinny jeans. They were officially the bane of my existence.