Chapter 7
Alana
When I forgot my phone at home, I thought it would be fine. I was just popping over to the store to get a bottle of vodka. Yeah, that was the mood I found myself in after I took a nap. Wine wouldn’t cut it and I’d get too emotional in the state I was in. Vodka, on the other hand, would either make me forget about my woes or I’d have a burst of anger, in which case I’d probably get through it and move into apathy at a certain point.
I figured Jayce would be blowing me up. We were supposed to go out tonight. He hadn’t been forthcoming about the specifics and right now, I just didn’t care that much. I needed some time to process and I didn’t think that was asking for too much.
What I hadn’t anticipated was running into one of the teachers, Mr. Everhart. We hadn’t interacted very much outside of when our classes were seated next to each other at a few assemblies and the occasional greeting in the hallway. I didn’t know if he’d seen the redness of my eyes or simply recognized me and struck up a conversation, but I found myself glad he did. He invited me to an adult Halloween party, as in above college age, which was a relief. It was in a nice area, in a house I could never afford, and those that were already here seemed nice so far.
I brought my beer to my lips as I took a moment to study him. He was young, probably barely older than me, and I had to admit that he was attractive. His chestnut brown hair was long enough to be styled in a nice quiff and he had just the right amount of stubble to draw my attention to his jaw. It was a pretty nice jaw too. At first, I thought that his eyes were brown, but in the light of the living room, I could see that they were a very dark green. It was an interesting color that I hadn’t seen before.
“What’s the verdict?” he asked.
“What?”
He smiled, then ran his tongue across the bottom of his top teeth. “You were sizing me up. Do you think you could take me in a duel?”
I laughed and covered my mouth. “No, I would lose that immediately. I have no idea how to fight.”
“You can have the first swing. How about that?
“I think that’s gonna land me in trouble with HR, Mike.”
“Oh, ye of little faith. You think I’d turn you in?”
“Maybe. You probably want my classroom. It’s bigger than yours.”
He put his hands up in surrender. “You got me. All of the teachers are envious and we throw darts at a picture of you in the break room.”
Shaking my head, I drained the last of the beer. He immediately took the bottle and grabbed me another one.
“So, are you going to tell me what made you look so despondent while you were browsing the vodka?”
“I was fine.”
He gave me a pointed look. “I teach English, you know. I can recognize an air of melancholy when I see it.”
“Remind me not to hang out with you again.”
“That would work against my interests.”
“Oh, you have interests?” I teased.
“Well, that depends. Are you open to someone having an interest?”
Either this man was pretty smooth or I’d been out of the game for too long. Probably both. As far as dating prospects went, he had a lot going for him. Young, attractive, funny, and he was a teacher, so I liked to think that was a point in his favor for character, but they weren’t all good people.
“I’m not not open to it,” I replied.
“In that case, maybe I can interest you in dinner tomorrow night.”
“Oh, he’s forward. That’s refreshing.”
“And she’s good at changing the subject.”
I bit my lip on a smile. “Okay, how about this? We hang out here where it’s much harder for you to murder me.”
“Okay,” he laughed, gesturing for me to go on.
“And if neither of us are sick of the other by the time we leave, we can have dinner.”
He pretended to consider it for a solid ten seconds. “Challenge accepted. Although, that means I’m going to show you all of the worst parts of me throughout the night so that you can make an informed judgment.”
“I don’t want to see your dick.”
Chewing on his lip, he narrowed his eyes. “That’s what you think I meant by the worst parts of me? You, Alana, have more sass than I expected.”
“Have you changed your mind already?”
“Not a chance. How else am I going to convince you to trade classrooms willingly?”
“Oh, that’s how it is. Alright, Mr. Everhart. This has turned into a challenge.”
When he grabbed my hand and dragged me toward the area where others were dancing, I tried to resist. He raised a taunting brow, so obviously, I couldn’t back down.
*****
Was I drunk? A little bit. Maybe a lot. It was hard to tell after a while, when you were surrounded by others who felt the same way and there were things going on in every direction. I couldn’t take a moment to evaluate how I felt, but I was having a good time, so I didn’t care all that much.
Adult parties weren’t all that different from college ones, surprisingly. Once everyone started getting tipsy, the music got louder and the hard liquor was brought out.
“Do you want a shot?” I called as I poured myself one.
Mike shook his head. “I have to drive in a little bit. My babysitter can’t stay all night.”
“Oh, shit. You have a kid?”
“Yeah. A daughter.”
“That’s, uh, cool. Are you divorced, then?”
He rolled his lips a few times, then looked at me again. “No. She died, actually. Two years ago.”
“I’m so sorry.”
I put a hand on his arm and squeezed it. Being on this side of things was unfamiliar to me, but I knew from experience that the more you said about it, the more awkward things felt for the other person. At least, that’s how it was for me.
“My fiancé died almost a year ago.”
“I heard about it. Actually, I thought about talking to you a few times, but I know how overwhelming it can be. Condolences, condolences, condolences.”
“I’m surprised you said that three times without stumbling.”
He chuckled. “We should get some air.”
I nodded and followed him out the front door. On the porch, it was significantly quieter. As I adjusted to it, I started to recognize that I was pretty damn tipsy. After the morose turn of conversation, I wasn’t sure what to do, so I just leaned back against the railing.
Mike watched me curiously as if he was looking for something. Maybe he was perceiving something. Neither of those were ideal, but I guess it was part of pursuing someone. It had been so long since I got to know someone. Did it still work the same? I didn’t know if it was one of those social things that changed with the times. Online dating was one example. The idea of that made me wonder if being alone forever wasn’t as bad as it sounded.
When he stepped closer, I sucked in a breath. There was hardly any space between us and I felt simultaneously excited and terrified. There was a little bit of guilt there too, which was my biggest deterrent. Jake was dead but somehow, it still felt like I was doing something wrong.
“How about that dinner tomorrow?” he asked. His voice was soft and deep. It made my brain feel a little scrambled.
“I guess I can stomach being around you again.”
“This might make me sound like an asshole, but I just want to throw it out there. If you want to come to my place tonight, I guess I could stomach that.”
A nervous laugh left me. “That might be taking it further than I can handle right now.”
“Then, dinner tomorrow. Nothing more than that, even if you try to jump my bones.”
“I’d like that.”
“One more thing, though.”
His lips came down on mine, startling me. I was immediately conflicted. Part of me wanted to kiss him because he was a nice guy and I was attracted to him, but it still didn’t feel right. It was too soon.
I was about to pull away, but he did first. It was so abrupt, I stumbled. When I opened my eyes, I saw someone wearing a Jason mask and a dark shirt with the sleeves rolled to his elbows. He slammed his fist into Mike’s face, knocking him to the ground.
“What the fuck?” I shouted. When I tried to crouch beside him, the other man grabbed me by the arm. I screamed and tried to get out of his grip.
“Alana,” he said in a familiar voice. He raised the mask and my mouth fell open.
Mike scrambled backward before he struggled to his feet. “Oh my god.”
“What the hell are you doing?” I demanded.
Jayce raised a brow but otherwise remained expressionless. He maintained his grip on my arm and even when I tried to shrug him off, he held on.
“Well, are you going to answer me?”
“We had plans,” he replied simply.
“Then I found out you betrayed me.”
He scoffed. “I didn’t betray you.”
“You sort of did!”
“It’s not my job to relay all of my brother’s sins, Alana!”
“Oh, are there more?” I snapped.
“I’m sure I can think of a dozen, but they don’t fucking matter because he’s dead. What good does it do to cause you pain?”
This time when I shook him off, he released me. I walked over to Mike and looked at the blood on his lip.
“I’m so sorry,” I rushed out.
“No, uh, it’s fine. Who is this?”
“This is my friend, Jayce. Apparently, he thought you were going to hurt me or something.”
“Or something,” Jayce repeated dryly.
“Right,” Mike drawled. “I have to go relieve the babysitter.”
“Yeah, of course. You should do that.”
He hesitated, his eyes moving to Jayce briefly. “Seven tomorrow?”
I smiled a little and nodded. “That’s perfect.”
I watched him until he got into his car, then I turned on Jayce. “You can’t go around punching people.”
“You’re at a party kissing a random guy. What was I supposed to think?”
“That I’m an adult and I can kiss whoever I want.”
“Maybe we could’ve avoided this entire situation if you told me where you were going.”
“I went to the store and forgot my phone, then I ran into Mike.”
He rubbed his jaw as he nodded. “Alright. Got it. Mike, who teaches at your school and you barely know, was a better alternative to spending time with me like we planned.”
“How do you know who he is?”
“I’ve seen him when I come by.”
With a sigh, I leaned back against the house. “I was hurt.”
He settled beside me, then took my hand and dragged us down to a sitting position. I dropped my head against his shoulder, letting him pull me into his side.
“There wasn’t a perfect way to deal with it,” he said. “I did my best to protect you. I always have.”
“I know,” I whispered.
Jayce flipped onto his knees in front of me and before I could ask what he was doing, he took my face in his hands. His blue eyes were bright in the dim light and suddenly, everything seemed to disappear. My heart raced as I stared back at him, waiting for something.
What was I waiting for?
From one moment to the next, Jake came to my mind. And once he was there, that’s who I saw in front of me. I knew it wasn’t him, but it was hard to make that distinction, even when I looked at the scar above Jayce’s lip and the difference in the way he held himself.
“You see him.”
My eyes burned as I nodded. He let out a breath and kissed my forehead, then got to his feet. I took his outstretched hand, letting him pull me up.
“Let’s get out of here,” he said.
“I can drive.”
“Fuck no, you can’t. You smell like a distillery.”
He dragged me to his Bronco, then helped me into the seat, even though I didn’t need it. While he walked around to the driver’s side, I focused on my breathing.
Why did they have to be identical? Jake was gone, but he still remained every time I looked at his brother. It gave the term dead ringer a more sinister meaning.
If they weren’t twins, maybe I could imagine Jayce as something more than my best friend, but we both knew it wasn’t possible. He saw the moment my mind made the switch. I knew he returned my feelings, but it was probably just as fucked up in his head. I was his brother’s fiancé. We both had to move on and I think he agreed, especially after tonight.
I knew Jayce well enough to believe that we could stay best friends. He wouldn’t push me to do anything I wasn’t comfortable with.
When he climbed into his seat, he flashed me a heart-stopping smile. I returned it, unable to hold back if I tried.