Chapter 44B
Note: This is the beginning of the HEA ending. It starts the same as the no HEA, so if you read that one, there will be repetition in this chapter. The Epilogues are exactly the same.
Jayce
As I stared at her for long minutes, I felt more afraid than I ever had. Alicia wasn’t supposed to be up yet and she certainly wasn’t supposed to come down here. She must’ve been looking for us. Maybe she’d heard Alana scream or us arguing. I could only be grateful that she hadn’t been hurt, but I shouldn’t have given Alana the gun. Even though she couldn’t do any damage with it, convincing Alicia that nothing was wrong would be a feat. If she told anyone about what she’d seen, it could cause problems, especially when it came to the adoption. Her aunt aiming a gun at her uncle was not what the courts wanted to hear.
“Alana,” I repeated firmly. “We need to go back upstairs.”
She was a disaster. We needed to go back upstairs and figure all of this out. If I threw her over my shoulder, I didn’t know if it would make things worse. Maybe I could sedate her. There was a syringe in the cabinet behind her. I didn’t want to rush her and make her afraid of me right now.
Moving forward, I tentatively reached out. When she didn’t stop me, I cupped her face.
“Everything’s okay. Let’s figure this out together.”
Her brow furrowed. “She’ll be terrified of me.”
“No. She won’t even know you pulled the trigger.”
“I don’t want to scare her. I want…”
“What do you want, baby? Talk to me.”
“To be with you.”
The statement made me smile. “You are with me. We’ll always be together. I promise.”
Finally, her face relaxed a little. The change in her eyes made me feel better. She broke for a moment, but she was going to be okay. I’d put her back together. That was always the plan.
Steps on the stairs made me turn. They didn’t sound like Alicia’s- they were too heavy. When I heard more of them, my heart began to race. Alana backed up toward the wall, the fear evident on her face as she clutched the gun to her chest tightly.
I held my hand up. “It’s okay, Alana.”
Men with guns raised appeared in the doorway. I swore and took a step to the side to shield Alana.
“Drop the weapon!” they demanded.
Fuck. I turned to Alana with pleading eyes. “Hey, let’s do what they said, okay? Hand it to me.”
When I tried to pry it away, she wouldn’t budge and the struggle just made them yell louder. They repeated the order, but she didn’t move. She must’ve been in shock after everything. I kept a hand raised to tell the officers to wait. They adjusted their aim instead.
“No,” I shouted. “It’s okay. She’s not gonna do anything. There aren’t any bullets in it.”
“Drop the fucking gun!”
Tears streamed down her face. Her breaths had become panicked and the acceptance I’d seen in her eyes earlier had morphed back into something that was too dangerous for our current situation.
“Alana…” I ventured as I got closer.
As if she’d just noticed me, she jerked and drew the gun away from her chest. I lunged forward to take it just before a shot went off behind me. Pain erupted in my shoulder and made me stumble. I managed to grab the gun from her and tossed it to the side.
“It’s fine,” I told the officers. “She wasn’t going to fucking do anything. God damnit.”
I watched one of them take the gun from the floor. With that out of the way, I turned back to Alana.
“No,” I breathed.
She slid down the wall, holding her hand against her neck. Everything stopped in that moment. All I could see was the blood and the look on her face. Her eyes were wide with terror and pain. When she pulled her hand away, more blood poured from the wound.
“No, no, no,” I said, pulling her closer. I tried to stop the bleeding with my hand, but it just kept coming. Even slowed as it tore through my shoulder, the bullet had done so much damage. “Baby, look at me. Hey. It’s okay. It’s okay.”
Her head shook the slightest amount. When she met my eyes, she was no longer crying.
“I…” She choked and blood spilled out of her mouth. “I don’t want to… die.”
“I know. I know. You just have to breathe, okay? Someone will be here soon and they’ll fix it. They’re gonna fix it, baby.”
“I’m sorry… I didn’t… mean…”
“Shh. I did this. It’s my fault.”
One thing I’d learned about death was that it isn’t peaceful. The movies show someone slipping away on their last breath, then their eyes close. It was actually horrifically different than that in most cases.
“Sir, we need you to move.”
I shook my head, furious that they’d even tell me that. My palm pressed more firmly against Alana’s neck. Her blood painted my hands red, just like others had for her sake. It was all for her. It always was. But it led to this, so what had I actually accomplished? Wouldn’t I rather her be alive, even if I didn’t get to have her? No, I was selfish. I’d rather us both die than let her leave me.
“She’ll be okay,” I insisted. “She’s fine. It’s fine.”
“Sir.”
“No!” I shouted before I pulled her against my chest. She was weak and tired. Just weak and tired. “Alana, baby, wake up. You’re okay, you’re okay.”
I clutched her more tightly and began to rock back and forth. The way my body shuddered almost made it feel like she was moving. She was going to move again. She had to.
“We’re gonna go to Greece just like you want. We’re going to swim, touch all of the sculptures we’re not supposed to, and explore every cave they have. We’ll go hiking, even though you have terrible coordination and will probably sprain an ankle. I’ll carry you the whole time. I’ll always carry you. Do they have dolphins in Greece? We’ll find some, baby. I promise we’ll see everything you want.
“You’ll look so beautiful in those blue waters,” I went on. “I’ll take so many pictures. Not of the scenery; just of you. I never get tired of looking at you, baby. I just want you to smile for me and let me hear you talk. I want to listen to you talk forever. Please talk to me. I need to hear your voice.” Burying my face in her hair, I released a choked, pained sound. “Please talk to me. Please, please, please.”
“Medical is here,” one of the officers said.
“Sir, we need to have you checked out and we need you to tell us what happened.”
“You shot her,” I said. “You fucking shot her and she wasn’t going to hurt anyone.”
“We couldn’t know that, sir.”
“The gun was empty! Fuck!”
Someone took my arm and I shrugged them away. When they tried it again, I struck at them. The pain in my shoulder flared and it gave them the chance to thrust me onto my stomach. My hands were cuffed behind my back and no matter how hard I flailed, I couldn’t get free. The way my cheek was resting against the floor gave me a view of Alana. She was on her side with her hair covering most of her face. One of the paramedics crouched beside her to check for a pulse. I closed my eyes, unable to see them confirm it.
I couldn’t… I just couldn’t…
A couple months ago, I said there were two ways things could go. Both ended with me having Alana. There were no other options. But there was. No matter how much control I thought I had over the situation, something happened that I hadn’t planned for. She’d been taken from me. I had her, but now she was gone.
“Get the stretcher,” the woman called.
I craned my neck to see the person bringing it. He collapsed it and they got Alana onto it. I thrashed again, desperate to go wherever they were taking her.
“Let me go,” I demanded. “Let me go!”
“Sir, you need to calm down.”
“Let me go with her. Please. Fuck, please let me go with her.”
He looked at someone behind him, then got me to my feet. They kept the cuffs on but brought me upstairs. As we approached, I kept my eyes on the ambulance they loaded Alana into. Once we got in, they freed my hands and I covered my mouth with them, not daring to tear my gaze away from her.
“Sir, let me see your shoulder,” one of the paramedics said.
I let them do what they wanted, but I refused to lay down or look at them. “Is she going to be okay?”
“We don’t know yet. It doesn’t look like the bullet went through her trachea, but we just can’t tell until she gets to the hospital.”
Maybe it slowed down enough when it hit me. Maybe, just maybe. I could work with that.
*****
After thinking about it while I sat in the hospital, I realized where I’d gone wrong. Jake. I should’ve just taken her from him before they fell in love. It would’ve worked. The day he brought her home, I should’ve shut that entire thing down. I’d waited too long. It was the act of a coward to give her a chance to be happy with him. I always intended to take her, so why did I wait so long?
It was my love for my brother. That never should’ve mattered, but I agonized over it because I knew that in order to have her, he had to die. The me that existed now, here in this hospital, wouldn’t hesitate. I’d been more hands off about it when I killed him. In the midst of the flames, I watched him blink out of existence, but now… Now, I would wrap my fingers around his throat and crush the life out of him. And then, I’d tell Alana. We would have dealt with it. I would’ve shown her who I was immediately and nobody would have the chance to ruin it.
I couldn’t bring myself to be angry at Alicia for calling the police. She’d come downstairs and saw Alana pointing a gun at me. It should’ve gone through my mind that she would do that, but I’d only been concerned with keeping Alana from spiraling and dealing with Alicia together. It was supposed to be fine. The gun wasn’t fucking loaded. It should’ve been fine .
Looking over at Alana, I felt just as worried as I had been this whole time. She’d woken up after surgery, but she wasn’t alert. They had her on a lot of drugs and said it could take time for her to feel okay enough to stay awake long. She’d lost a lot of blood, then went through surgery. It was probably better if she stayed out for a little longer. She was going to be in pain and I hated that.
The paramedics were right, at least. It lodged in her trachea, but not enough to go through, so it wouldn’t fuck up her ability to talk or eat. She’d have a scar on her throat, which she’d hate, but I’d make sure she always felt beautiful.
If she made it through this. When she made it through this. No other options.
Ever since we’d gotten here, I’d been angry. I didn’t let them keep me in a bed and I rarely left this chair. When they tried to say shit about visiting hours, I told them I was admitted here and would go where I pleased. If they wanted me gone, they’d have to forcibly remove me. Dad had talked to them more kindly and they’d decided to just leave me be.
I didn’t know how to explain it to the cops, but I’d spun a story on the spot. I refused to let them think she was some villain. Alicia saw wrong. I’d been showing Alana my gun because she wanted to learn how to use it after she’d been threatened by Mike. It wasn’t loaded and she was feeling out its weight. When the cops showed up, she had flashbacks of when Mike tried to attack her. What happened was their fault and I made sure that everybody knew it.
It didn’t really matter in the end. To them, she’d fucked up by not complying with their demands. Sure, she wasn’t the bad guy and she wasn’t in trouble for it, but they still blamed her and that pissed me the fuck off.
I couldn’t stop thinking about those officers. Could I manage to kill all of the ones who had been on the scene? Probably not, but maybe. I could play the long game and pick them off slowly. None of them should have the luxury of surviving after what they’d done to her. They’d nearly stolen her from me and that wasn’t something I’d ever forgive.
The door opened and I saw Charlie’s face. She looked timid, probably afraid of my mental state. That was smart. I’d thought about killing every nurse and doctor who came in here. Instead of acknowledging her, I looked at Alana again.
“If you’re gonna stay here, you need to at least eat.”
I shook my head without a word. After a minute, she appeared in front of me, blocking my view. I gave her a venomous look that made her eyes widen. Then, she narrowed them.
“You love her,” she said. “But we all do. You don’t get to act like an asshole because something bad happened.”
“Fuck you, Charlie.”
Her palm connected with my face. Closing my eyes, I took some deep breaths.
“Fuck me?” she hissed. “I’ve known about your crush on Alana since you first met her. It was obvious to anyone who would’ve cared to look. I didn’t tell anyone, I didn’t try to steer you away, even though I know that sort of obsession can be dangerous.”
I met her eyes, trying to gauge her state right now. Did she know something? Doubtful, but she wasn’t making me feel glad for her presence, that was for sure.
“Your brother died and everything worked out for you,” she went on. “Love through tragedy or whatever. She survived being shot. Both of you did. Now, get the fuck over yourself and let your family be here for you. We love her like a daughter and we’re all worried sick.”
“Fine.”
Her nostrils flared, but she took a step back. It was all I could give her right now, so she would have to accept it. Until Alana woke up, I didn’t want their love or encouragement. I’d never lied when I said that she mattered to me more than anything else. I loved my family to death, but if someone held a gun to their heads and asked me to choose between all of them and Alana, I would choose her without hesitation. And I didn’t think that was wrong. If it was, I didn’t give a fuck.