Thirty Geny
Tina is asleep on the love seat when I walk into the living room. Frank is awake but the TV is loud. There’s a chance he didn’t hear the argument outside. My reckless words. He pauses whatever movie he’s watching when I step further into the room.
He sits up. “How was your night?” He looks behind me and realizes I’m alone. “Where’s Wyatt and your sister?”
“She had a little too much to drink.”
He doesn’t say anything, but looks at me as though he’s thinking what I’m thinking. That Wyatt and Grace are hopelessly in love and now they’re alone together, and I am so stupid and so foolish and so fucked.
“Well, Tina and I will get going. I think both of the boys are asleep. Carter went to bed an hour ago, and last time I checked, Jack was reading in bed.”
I force my lips to smile. “Thanks, Frank.”
“Yep.” He stands up with a grunt and shakes Tina’s shoulder.
She startles awake and looks right past Frank at me. Her face screws up a bit.
“Grace? Oh Grace, I’m so sorry.”
“Tina. Wake up. It’s Geny,” Frank says.
Tina’s eyes seem to focus, and her face changes as she comes into full consciousness. She sits up, smoothing down her hair. “Oh, I’m sorry. I was having such a strange dream.”
She stands up, looking uncomfortable. I try to tell her thank you, but my throat is too tight. Instead, I keep the fake, polite smile plastered to my face.
I stand awkwardly as they get their shoes and coats on.
Every few seconds, Frank glances up at me and each time he does it I wonder if he heard what actually happened outside.
I’m not sure I even take a breath until they’re both outside and the door is closed between us.
The second it is, my body starts to shake.
What is wrong with me? I can’t stop making a mess of everything. The harder I try to keep Wyatt close, the more I push him right into Grace’s arms. I wouldn’t be surprised if I end the week having lost both my husband and my sister.
The tears come faster and faster, along with my breath.
I need to calm down, but I can’t. I go to the bathroom down the hall and nearly jump out of skin at my reflection.
I look insane. Black streaks run down my face from the makeup I thought I’d wear to look pretty for my husband.
My hair is all messed up like I just got off a carnival ride.
Is this how I looked when I came into the house? Is this what Frank and Tina just saw?
It’s all too much. Wyatt should be home by now. I rush out of the bathroom and onto the porch. It’s cold, but I hardly feel it. Wyatt isn’t here. He isn’t here because he’s with Grace. And he’s with Grace because of me.
Everything is my fault. I was stupid to think I could keep him. Grace is back from the dead and they should be together. I shouldn’t stand in the way. I always knew they were meant to end up together, and I did what I could to take that from them because I’m a monster. This is what I deserve.
When my breathing finally slows and the tears dry up, I realize I’m no longer home. I didn’t intend to leave, but I just started walking and now I’m close to town. I immediately recognize the houses on the block and keep going. I do my best to blindly fix my tear-stained face and wild hair.