Chapter 6 A Touch of Madness
Chapter six
A Touch of Madness
Bash
It is not the cell that drives one mad, but the echo of one’s own thoughts pacing the same four walls.
— Letters from the Gallows, Volume II
The smell of shit would follow me all the days of my miserable life, of that I was sure.
I could feel it clinging to my clothes and everything it touched.
Anything was better than this. The gallows would be a welcome friend by the time I finally made it to them.
I should have written in that letter that she was torturing me by denying me the fate I designed for myself.
It likely wouldn’t have swayed her, but she would at least have it on her conscience.
My back ached after being on this poor excuse for a bed. Billy would have called me whiny for all these complaints and told me it was the price of pirating. I fished through my mind, trying to recall how Billy endured his time in Newgate.
Unfortunately, of everything he taught me, I catalogued it in a less important file inside my mind. Covered in dust and time, coupled with malnutrition and chronic exhaustion, made the information nigh on inaccessible. Just another thing I’d never be able to ask him.
The sound of a pistol shooting off and the smell of smoke clogged all of my senses as I sat up with a choked gasp.
“Easy, Bash,” Oscar said, from where he was sitting against the wall. “It’s only in your head. Everything’s fine.”
That was a load of shit. I’d seen dogs more groomed and well-fed than the man across from me.
His beard was long and tangled, but his mustache was somehow still patchy, which would have amused Rose greatly.
More concerning was that his clothes, which used to fit him perfectly, were now nearly two sizes too big.
His eyes were glazed over as he stared at the ceiling.
Realization settled over me with icy tendrils.
“I’ve done this before,” I said.
Oscar nodded, “Yep.” He popped the last sound.
This was not good. Edmonds thought to make me weak and delirious so that when he finally paraded me, it would be as a broken man.
The problem with that was that there was too much at stake.
Lives lost in pursuit of this one goal. If I didn’t have the mental wherewithal to stand trial and expose my father, then it was all for naught.
“How long has it been since your brother was here?” I asked.
“One month,” he answered, scratching at his nose.
A rat the size of Blackbeard scurried over his outstretched legs, and he didn’t flinch. Didn’t even notice as it searched in vain for crumbs that were nonexistent.
“We’ve been in this cell for two months.” I clarified.
“Yep.” That pop again.
I searched my mind, trying to account for the days and came up blank. There was no recollection of much time in between Oliver Bailey leaving and now.
Heels on cursed stone emitted in between shouts and pleas from unlucky souls, and I wondered if this was a hallucination as well. Oscar sat straight and edged towards the bars of our cage.
Not a hallucination then.
“Oliver?” he rasped.
“Not quite, Mr. Bailey,” Edmonds said as he stood in front of us, arms folded carefully behind his back.
I estimated him to be in his late thirties, young enough that ambition clouded his judgment, but old enough to play the game well. From the way my mind stumbled over details, it was a fair judge that he played more than well.
“Please, this is torture, let us out,” Oscar begged.
I refused. It was as simple as that. Let my mind break, and my schemes go to waste, but I would not get on my knees for any man.
Stubborn to the end, aye, Bash?
I stilled. That was Billy’s voice, as clear as the two men in this room. I was falling deeper into the madness.
Not such a bad thing, my boy. As long as you don’t talk back, you’re still all right.
God, I missed him.
Would I have done it all if I knew he was the price at the end of it? The fog in my brain wouldn’t let me answer one way or the other.
“Well, Mr. Bailey, it is your lucky day. Somehow, and if you have any thoughts to the how of it, please feel free to share, your family, despite losing their business, is still wealthy enough to deal in bribery.”
I knew the answer to this. It was in a carefully scrawled script against parchment.
Her.
Rose.
I grunted in frustration as I fought for the memory.
“You aren’t allowed to die. I forbid it.” The memory blurred, and I balled my dirt-caked hands into fists.
“Did they buy our way out of here?” Oscar said with too much hope.
The answer flitted across my mind, and I grabbed it.
“P.S.: I looted the last eleven years of your spoils since you weren’t using them. See you soon, Rose.”
Rose. She was always the answer.
“No,” Edmonds said, watching me with head tilted, “But your brother did negotiate some time from your cells, which means it’s time to put you two to work to earn your keep.”
“Work?” Oscar stumbled over the word.
Edmonds stepped to the side, his perfect uniform without a speck of dirt. It was a remarkable feat in Newgate.
Two jailers in all black stepped into view while one of them unlocked our cage. I should have thought about pushing and running. I should have grabbed Edmonds and done something, but my legs shook and vision blurred instead.
Edmonds watched me while his mouth turned down, his assessing gaze finding me wanting. I was sure if I could see myself that I would have agreed with him.
“How disappointing,” he murmured. “Time to put you to work as promised.”
The guards stepped in and carefully shackled my wrists with iron. They were cool against my skin, and I was struck by the fact that it wasn’t so bad. My muscles spasmed as the guard urged me forward. Walking. I knew how to do that.
“Soon, Bash, hang on a little longer,” Oscar whispered beside me.
The walls were stone as thick as six feet of earth above. A grave most never crawled out of.
But I did, and you will too.
I wanted to argue with Billy that it seemed unlikely, but then I recalled he was a figment of my imagination.
Though why I would conjure up hope in a place like this was the worst symptom of them all.
My bare feet hit the uneven stone and filled with a bone-deep ache.
Almost like they weren’t used to existing.
Bodies rushed toward the end of their cells and reached for us, black-coated skin that looked to be more dirt than person. Most of them had their heads shaved, rags hanging from their thin bodies.
“Please, please let us go. We will repent, we won’t do it again, please, please.”
Desperation gave way to panic, and the shrill shriek of a woman screaming edged into my mind, searing through the walls I’d erected to protect myself.
“Why am I still here?” I asked.
“An excellent question,” Edmonds said. “Believe it or not, it was not my intent to place a broken man on the stand. I believe you should and will account for your crimes, and that requires sanity. I see now I’ve been lapse in seeing that goal is protected, so let’s play a game, shall we?”
A nudge at my back said we weren’t slowing down. The pressure sat right against the ache in my lower back, and I grunted to keep from giving away more. Edmonds walked in front with his hands clasped behind his back.
“Carter, please see your charge to carpentry duty after he receives a full meal.”
“Yes, Captain.” His accent was thick and nearly indiscernible.
The words all fell against me like hail to the deck of a ship. Harmless, irritating. Something in the back of my mind said I should care, but I didn’t. Even as Oscar and his guard veered down the opposite stone hall, I couldn’t remember why I should care.
Instead, I followed Edmonds at the urging of the guard behind me. I was pliable because anything else required something that was broken in me.
Edmonds came upon a splintered and peeling wooden door and opened it, gesturing for me to go in.
I stopped outside and could see a wooden bench and chairs on either side.
At the center was a steaming bowl of meat and gravy with what looked suspiciously like carrots.
My mouth watered, and I breathed in the smell of broiled beef. Warm and savory.
“Kit, stand outside while your charge and I speak a moment,” Edmonds said.
“But, sir-”
“I’m sure I’m in no danger,” Edmonds said, gesturing for me to enter.
I rushed to the table and sat, ignoring my body’s protest. I lifted my hand, but the chain prevented any real movement where it was attached to what was left of my other arm.
Desperation and hunger ate at my stomach, ripping through the shreds of my dignity.
I could just lower my mouth to it like the animal I was, but I knew my name still.
Captain Sebastian Flynn.
I’d built that name with my own blood and sweat. I took in a shaky breath, forcing myself to look away from it.
The sound of the door shutting was a shot in the dark, and for a moment, Billy’s lifeless and mutilated body was there in my mind. It wasn’t then.
“I see we haven’t broken you altogether, Captain. I confess, I am relieved,” Edmonds said, holding out the key to my shackles.
I didn’t question why, like an obedient lap dog, I held out my arm and bit back the thank you that built in my throat when I was free.
I picked up the fork and, with a control I didn’t think I still possessed, I stabbed at a piece of meat dripping in gravy and brought it to my mouth.
God, I didn’t recall flavors like this ever being real.
The meat was tender and fell apart in my dry mouth while the taste of garlic and salt rolled over me like its own sort of ecstasy.
“I’m glad you approve,” Edmonds said.
Statements didn’t require answers.
Every bite was another piece of myself placed back together. Stale bread and murky water didn’t make for meals, but this– even Billy would have appreciated it.
Before I realized what I’d done, my stomach ached with pressure as I stared at the empty bowl. I shouldn’t have eaten all of it. I would be more likely to be sick than keep it all down.
Edmonds produced a cup of crystal clear water and handed it to me. Part of me didn’t want to wash away the flavors so I would remember when he inevitably put me back in my cage, but the promise of clean water was too much for a mere mortal.
I took it and swallowed in one gulp, not daring to give him the chance to change his mind. When my thoughts inevitably grew murky once more, I would try to hold onto this feeling. Of being full and not desperate for a drop of water.
I wondered if Edmonds would have done it if he knew it mattered as much as it did.
When I raised my eyes to him again, his smile told me everything I needed to know.
“There’s no honor in bringing down a bear without claws,” Edmonds said.
He held himself perfectly straight, careful not to touch anything more than he had to as he sat across from me. Lines at the side of his eyes and mouth said he knew how to smile, but what could make a man made of steel smile was a mystery to me.
“And what is it you want from me, Captain?” My voice was dry, hoarse.
I couldn’t recall the last few days, maybe even a week. Either way, dissuse was evident in the strangulation of my vocal cords. I may be fractured, but I knew one man did not give another something that didn’t come without a price.
I’d only ever known one man who did.
And I didn’t do it for nothing, did I? That bread brought you to me, and I’ve never been sorry for it.
I blinked, clearing away the phantom voice.
Billy was dead. The bullet from my pistol lodged in his forehead. He was dead, laid to rest at the bottom of the sea that he spent his life loving.
Dead.
“Besides a worthy opponent?” Edmonds said, shrugging. “I thought I might regale you with a theory I’ve been considering.”
I met his eyes, not caring what he saw underneath. “How diverting.”
The corner of his mouth turned up.
“It’s a shame you chose piracy. I think I would have enjoyed having you as a colleague more than a foe,” he said.
I held out my hand, “There’s always time.”
Edmonds' smile faded, and I realized it had been the wrong thing to say. Normally, I was better about reading people. Given my own mind wasn’t safe, it made sense I struggled to read him.
It only made whatever came next more dangerous.
It wasn’t just my sanity and life; it was Oscar’s.
Until Inu came for him, he was at this man’s mercy, and the less broken she found him, the better.
“As I said earlier, it’s interesting the Bailey family is doing so well.
Not just well, but thriving. You might not be aware of this, but North Star Line lost three ships in two months.
Sunk to the bottom of the sea. I’ve often thought about the day we met.
What would it be like now if I had seen through your promise to provide information for the lives of your crew? ”
“I held my end of the bargain,” I rasped.
Edmonds raised his eyebrows, “I believe that’s true, but I should have foreseen that your crew would impede your efforts.”
“P.S.: I looted the last eleven years of your spoils since you weren’t using them. See you soon, Rose.”
“Now, isn’t it strange that there are rumors that lord Bailey is starting a new shipping line. With money he by all accounts should not have, with still enough that Oliver Bailey can afford to send bribery money for his brother to receive special treatment while imprisoned.”
I wished my mind weren’t too murky to see the final piece of the puzzle he painted for me. It was a testament to how malnourished I was that I couldn’t keep up. I knew Rose stole the money. I knew it was her sending it, but the world thought her dead. She was safe.
Ain’t no one safe if their heart still beats, Bash, you know that.
Billy was dead and at the bottom of the sea.
“I can see you are struggling. Let me be clear, I’ve had all of the Baileys watched, which is a considerable feat as there are far too many of them.
None have done anything so exciting as staying up past ten o’clock.
Which means someone else is invested in their continued survival. I can only think of one who might.”
I swallowed hard, my throat already going dry. Billy was right. No one was ever truly safe until they were dead. No, not Billy. That was me. My mind, conjuring his voice. Billy was dead.
“I think that will be enough for today, except to say I believe I have found your weakness at last, Captain. I’m ashamed it took me this long.
” He stood and wiped the dust from his uniform.
When he raised his eyes to mine, I was sure I’d been outmatched.
“It would seem the mythical Captain Flynn is just as human as the rest of us.”
He opened the door and didn’t bother turning around again.
Only a muttered, “How disappointing,” echoed in my ears.
He knew.