Chapter 18 Hollow
Chapter eighteen
Hollow
Bash
A life spent chasing revenge is a cup that never fills. You drink and drink, and still the hollow remains.
— The Mysterious Deep: A Comprehensive Understanding
It was almost a shame that James Allan did as I instructed him to.
Every minute his heart continued to beat was a travesty.
The world would improve dramatically upon his death.
He looked from me to Rose, and for a second, I thought he would reveal who he truly was.
He could put on as many nice clothes and style his hair just so, but he was worse than the sea monsters he hunted.
“You are making a mistake,” he said to Rose.
My fiance, apparently. Seas, just when I thought I was caught up to her scheming, she threw another punch. We would have words about it later, but for now, I’d be whatever the fuck she needed me to be.
Rose, with all her fire, tilted her head and ran her eyes over James Allan slowly, up and down. I might have been jealous except there was no desire in her appraisal, only amused contempt.
“No, I’m not,” she said.
This was who Rose was always meant to be. In her element, she was a fearsome creature. More beautiful and intoxicating than I could have imagined. Even if her scheming was problematic, I would always be grateful for the chance to see her this way.
She threaded her arm through mine, and I let myself feel the warmth of her.
After months of trying not to think about her, she filled my head like a siren song.
Her lavender smell, her warmth, the sound of her breath.
I was a man starved, and having her this close was a special kind of torture worse than anything I endured in Newgate.
“Engaged?” A young blond woman asked, her voice slightly high.
She stared at Rose with her mouth hanging wide open like she’d never seen her before.
Rose’s hand tightened on my arm, but the smile she presented to the world was light and airy.
“Yes,” she said a bit breathless, “We met back in Paris, and well, when he asked me to marry him, I couldn’t say no.”
A small snort of amusement broke from me, and her grip tightened once more. I could practically hear the admonishment.
“You didn’t say-” the blond said, green eyes wide.
There it was. The connection that linked them. Though her eyes could never be the brilliant green of Rose’s, I could see the resemblance to Ruby. This was another Bailey. I should have asked just how many there were because they seemed to be popping up from everywhere.
“We wanted it to be a surprise, didn’t we, darling?” Rose asked, smiling sweetly up at me.
God, I was livid with her, but she was difficult not to give in to with her brilliant mind and confidence.
“Yes, we did, Sweetheart,” I said.
She wrinkled her nose at the endearment that didn’t suit her in the least. Somewhere in the crowd, Oscar’s cough permeated the otherwise stunned silence. The corner of my lip pulled up involuntarily as amusement tickled at the back of my throat. He was probably enjoying this immensely.
“Well, I believe congratulations are in order,” Edmonds called.
He appeared by my side, holding up a drink while servants scrambled to fill the hands of partygoers. Rose reached for two and handed one to me. I let my hands graze hers for a second and was immediately rewarded with a flush of her cheeks as she brought the champagne to her lips.
“Cheers to the happy couple! Two strong English houses brought together!” he said.
Echoes abounded from the room, and as I took a sip of the too-sweet liquid, Edmonds leaned into me, turning his head so no one could read his lips.
“I think you’ll find I’ve given you everything you could ever want, Captain. Before you set off on your honeymoon, perhaps we might have a conversation just you and me,” he said.
I covered my mouth with my glass and shot him a glare. Whether I was more irritated with him for using Rose or myself for misreading his motivation was hard to say. Either way, I’d miscalculated on what drove Edmonds to action, and now Rose was bound to him.
“I have several words I’d like to say to you,” I said.
He laughed and clapped me on the back.
“As to be expected. I look forward to hearing them.”
Rose pulled her arm from mine and wrapped it around a woman who undoubtedly was her mother in a tight hug.
By the time I went to say something to Edmonds, he’d already slinked off into the crowd, where he spoke to my father, who wore a small smile that made my insides crawl.
Years spent hating him, and I’d thought a thousand times about what I would say to him from a prison cell.
Never once did I consider I’d be standing in my ancestor’s home the first time I saw him again.
The script I’d perfected over the years now felt obsolete.
More than that, he shouldn’t have been smiling.
I needed to ask Rose what he said to her, but she was currently being surrounded by people wishing her well when they were really judging her.
It was evident in their quick whispers to each other and the way they smirked when she wasn’t looking.
I would have gladly fed them all to Koinu, and something told me he’d be eager if it was in defense of Rose. I still didn’t understand the link Rose shared with the Mysterious Deep, but if we were going back out to sea, I needed to figure it out sooner rather than later.
“She’ll make an honest man of you yet,” Oscar said, clapping me hard enough on the back that I coughed. “Lord knows, no one says no to her once she decides, not even you.”
Someone should have told me the day I met the Bailey twins would wreak only havoc, but I was also self-aware enough to know I wouldn’t have changed it.
“Are you aware of how monumentally terrible this plan is?” I asked.
He threw back his drink and downed it in one gulp.
“Absolutely. On the positive side, now Oliver doesn’t have to duel you,” he chuckled.
Sure enough, the eldest Bailey was hugging Rose, but glaring at me. I doubted we were going to be friends any time soon. It stood to reason that Ruby and Oliver had more sense than the twins, who should have put distance between them, and I long ago.
“Maybe I should let him just so he feels a little better,” I said, dryly.
Oscar laughed. “Rose probably punches better, and you’ve survived that.”
I reached for my nose, remembering the efficient way she’d broken it a few months ago. Too many eyes watched me and whispered with their heads together. It was a viper's nest dressed in finery. I much preferred piracy where there was significantly less judgment and hidden meanings.
“This is terrible. How do you stomach it?” I asked, pulling at the collar that was choking me.
Oscar’s eyes twinkled as he sniffed and rubbed at his nose, laughing at the floor.
“Well, I don’t think I did stomach it well, did I?”
The laugh that loosed from my chest was genuine and unexpected. After Newgate, I wasn’t sure if I even remembered how to laugh. Leave it to Oscar to remind me.
He reached out and knocked on my hand twice.
“Emille’s handy work?” he asked.
I nodded, wishing I could flex the solid oak fingers. I missed my arm, but the alternative of becoming a wraith in the Glass Sea was less desirable.
“It even comes with a hook option,” I said.
Oscar whistled. “Fancy. I feel like we can work with that, but just so you know, you are going to have to come up with a less badass reason than being bitten by a wraith for the missing arm.”
“I don’t think fucking up is considered badass.” I joked.
Oscar shook his head, laughing. “You are a damn good pirate, but you're going to be shit at being a gentleman.”
“Hopefully it’s a temporary condition,” I said.
Oscar’s smile dissipated as did any humor hanging in the air. I felt the shift as much as my own heart beat and dreaded what came next.
“I don’t think it’s temporary, Bash. I don’t agree with what she did tonight, but if you leave her, she will never recover socially. This world will be lost to her.” Oscar said.
I watched Rose intermingle with her mother at her side.
The smile on her face was genuine. It was tragic the faith she had in me.
She should have known I only break what I touch.
It took Billy over a decade to realize it, but now he was at the bottom of the sea because he believed in me when he shouldn’t have.
Oscar squeezed my arm. “We will figure it out. I can’t stay here forever either. Inu is my home, and this world would never welcome her, but more than that, she would hate it.”
Despite the morose melancholy seeping over me, I imagined Inu dressed like the woman here with their tight corsets and hidden meanings.
“She would pull out her sword within ten minutes,” I said.
“Absolutely not, it’d be more like five,” Oscar said, mock seriousness.
It would be easy to keep standing next to Oscar and avoiding the reality I was now in, but fear and anxiety only grew beneath repression.
“Might as well get it over with,” I said.
My father was standing back from the frey with his eyes locked on me. It was a summoning I knew well from our year together.
Oscar cleared his throat. “The powers that be really shit on you when they gave you him for a parent.”
I nodded, glad that Rose had already told him the truth of my heritage. I didn’t feel like reminiscing. Once with Billy and once with Rose was enough for a lifetime. It wasn’t particularly enjoyable to relive.
“Later, when we find some half-decent alcohol, we can talk about how absolutely insane your revenge plot is,” Oscar said.
I laughed, but caught it in a cough before I gave away I wasn’t approachable.
So far, people eyed me like a dangerous animal, and it was keeping me from socializing.
Rose was laughing at something her older sister said, and I loved how happy she looked.
If I could bottle up the sound of her laugh, I would have a thousand times over.