Bonus （Jasper POV）
For two days I've been forced to be with Nealin while we mapped the North and now West portion of our territories.
I’m not sure why I thought of it but I had decided to bring my camera today since I knew we’d be visiting some visually pleasing land on our last stretch of the southern border.
It caught Nealin’s attention right away.
“You do photography?” He tipped his head when I produced the camera from it’s secure bag. For two days we still only made awkward small talk. He’s too nervous to do anything more than that.
“I do. If we have the time I might take some shots,” I side eyed him to see his reaction. “We’ll have time,” he said quietly.
I hesitated a moment before continuing the conversation.
“Devran used to let me take pictures of him for practice. Once he left for training I started using my sister and now Mira...have you ever, like, posed for pictures?” I rubbed the back of my neck feeling weird for even bringing it up.
His eyes went wide and he shook his head no repeatedly. “I’m too camera shy. I would be a wreck” he told me honestly.
“It feels weird at first but you get used to it,” I told him. I’m not sure why I was even talking about it.
“Do, um, do you have a portfolio?” He asked me after a minute of quiet. “I do.” He seemed to be thinking about something before asking, “Could I see it?”
I was surprised he was being so forward. He seemed the most intrigued as I’ve ever seen him.
“Sure, it’s not with me but I don’t mind showing my work.” He just nodded and lifted the map to cover his face. He pointed to a tree and I knotted it off. “Hm,” he said.
“What?” He seemed to be looking around for something.
“Last I was here there was an abandoned resting hut for the patrollers” he pointed out.
“Ah, yeah, it got destroyed in a storm. They took it down” I told him. He nodded and marked his map again.
When he was facing away from me I got the courage to lift my camera to my eye and snap a picture. He whirled around but I was already pointing toward something else so he figured that’s what I just took the photo of.
I wasn’t being a creep I just knew he was camera shy and I would show him it’s easier than he thinks. I take plenty of shots where the people are facing away from the camera or only their silhouettes are visible.
I have all kinds of artistic shots.
Devran was always confident in front of the camera. He had no problem looking straight into the lense. I’ve gotten some beautiful photos of him. He’s my best friend so I think I can openly say he’s a damn handsome guy.
Everyone knows it. That’s why he’s been most popular with the ladies for most of our lives.
Nealin was in a light flannel today. He'd been looking off over an elevated portion of the terrain scratching his head in thought. That’s what I snapped the photo of.
I could edit it later on and play with the lighting a bit. All you saw was his shoulders and his mop of brown hair.
“Nealin” I called him. His body paused at the sound of my voice. When he turned around again he looked nervous.
“What made you want to join our army? No offense but you seem...sensitive. Or maybe that’s not the word I am looking for” I scrunched up my face in thought. His cheeks tinted pink.
“I’m good with the tactical stuff in regards t-to formulating plans or s-stuff like this...grid work...my..my dad wanted me as a warrior wolf...I just couldn’t hack it as a soldier though” he looked ashamed.
It made me smile at how innocent this guy was. He had boylike qualities at times. “We all have our strong suits,” I shrugged. That seemed to appease his shame.
“I guess you never had much of a choice either, huh?” He acknowledged my rank as Delta. In fact, whenever he addressed me he used my title which I wasn’t exactly used to yet.
It felt silly because I’m about the most easy going guy. I don’t let the title get to my head like Dev and Diego do. When I think of Delta I think of my dad.
“Yeah...I was born into this role. I couldn’t forfeit that type of responsibility” I sighed. He seemed to look at me for a second. “Did you want to?”
“Not exactly. I’m not sure. I just feel like I grew up so fast. I guess I’m trying to get used to being taken seriously. I was sort of a class clown in high school. Now I’m suddenly the Alpha’s left hand” I talked too much. I wasn’t sure why either.
“I remember” Nealin almost seemed to smile fondly on the memory.
I never paid much attention to him in high school but did he pay attention to me? That was a weird question so I wouldn’t ask it.
We started walking down a trail that would be the home stretch of our mapping before we were back at the village.
This weekend I'll be gone for my first formal training. I guess Nealin will be there too but in a different section. That probably means we're taking the trip together though. Again.
How was I suddenly thrown together with this guy?
“Can we stop for a short break?” Nealin peeked up at me. I nodded and we both plopped to the ground to fetch the waters in our bags. I watched as he slid off his shoe.
“Ss-omething’s up with my foot today...kinda hurts” he explained what he was doing when he noticed me watching. I furrowed my brows and leaned over for a closer look.
“You’re getting a blister. You should have told me. I have a bandaid” I practically scolded him. It surprised me. I don’t even know where that came from. He got skittish about it.
“Sorry” he whispered. I shook my head clear and fetched the bandaid. He didn’t need to be sorry. I don’t even know why I acted like he owed me anything.
He was about to place the bandaid when I suddenly grabbed his wrist. His head swiveled in my direction in surprise of the contact.
“Let it air out for a minute. We’ve got time” I assured him. He nodded and left it alone for now. We sat awkwardly side by side on the ground. I rested my elbows on my bent knees and looked off into the distance.
I felt his eyes on me.
I decided to pull out a bundle of berries Mira packed for me in a container this morning. I nudged Nealin and offered him some. With pink cheeks he put a few into his palm and tried one. He hummed in appreciation.
“D-do you, um, have a g-girlfriend?” He suddenly asked me. I was the one to snap my head in his direction now.
I couldn’t help but study his body language. He was nervous as always but curious. He wouldn’t let his eyes meet mine though.
“No” was all I said. I found it odd that his lip twitched at my answer. It almost looked as if he wanted to smile.
“Do you?” I decided to humor him. “I’m-” he paused without finishing his sentence. “You’re what?” I coaxed him to continue.
“Gay” he practically whispered. “Oh” I shrugged.
“Does that...weird you out?” He asked me. I side eyed him and said, “Nope.”
I offered him more berries and he took them. He sat there with his one shoe on and one shoe off while we quietly munched on our snack.
When Nealin bent slightly to grab the bandaid to place on now that he'd aired his foot out his arm brushed into mine.
He sat up quickly and apologized. My hand clasped his shoulder without thinking about it and I told him he didn’t have to be so sorry over everything.
His eyes drifted down to the physical contact and I swiftly pulled away. Why does shit always get so weird between us? I wanted to audibly huff.
To fill the silence Nealin randomly blurted out, “Do you ever photograph yourself?” I chuckled.
“Once in a great while. I have a timer and a stand, so I am able to do so, but I would rather photograph someone else. I don’t care to look at myself” I explained to him while he tied his shoe.
“But you must photograph so well,” he said with a furrowed brow. “How so?” I asked. His eyes went wide and his lips pressed tightly together like he regretted saying that.
When I continued to look at him he started stuttering over himself and fidgeting with his hands.
“I just meant- well, I just assumed. You’re...um, a-attractive, n-not in a weird way... I just-” he shook his head and stood quickly so he could avoid looking at my reaction. Weirdly I felt flattered.
“Thanks” I nudged him to show him it was okay to compliment me. Weirdly when we caught eyes again I was suddenly blushing as much as he was.
Freaking weird. All of this. I need to cut it out.
We started walking again and when the short pencil fell from behind his ear where he tucked it we both leaned down at the same time to get it. He retracted his hand as I reached it first.
When I handed it to him our fingers brushed over one anothers and he was blushing again.
Does he have a crush on me? No.
I have absolutely no idea what came over Nealin at that moment but when he cut in front of me it made me pause from moving forward. And before I could process anything he was up on the tips of his toes and his lips brushed against mine.
I stumbled backwards in shock. We hadn’t kissed but our lips did touch. What the fuck was that about?!
He looked terrified at his actions and we both froze momentarily before I panicked and just ran off. I just left him there and bailed.
“JASPER” I heard him call after me in distress. I cursed myself but it made me stop in my tracks and look back at his jogging frame in the distance.
“I’m-I’m so sorry. I’m sorry” he heaved out between breaths. I swiped a hand down my face and my heart was racing from both the speed of my running and how flustered this all made me.
Why’d he do that? Doesn’t he know I am not gay.
“Look, you seem like an alright guy and all, but I’m..I’m not gay, alright?” I huffed the stress that was making me tense and pacing.
“I’m so embarrassed. I’m sorry” he said again, only this time he seemed a bit teary eyed. I felt really bad at that moment. I didn’t mean to upset the guy.
“Hey, you don’t gotta cry” I rocked on my heels unsure what to do next. When he dropped his head down and wiped at his cheeks something inside me broke and I found myself comforting the guy.
I pulled him in for a hug. A bro hug. I couldn’t help but notice how he instantly nuzzled into me. His head laid on my chest and my larger arm was wrapped around him. This is weird.
“No hard feelings, man” I cleared my throat and released him.
When he looked up at me his slate grey eyes were still somewhat teary and his cheeks were that same tint of pink that he often wears around me. Or maybe just in general.
With the pad of my thumb I wiped the last stray tear that had rolled to his cheek bone. That awkwardly shifted the air again. I meant nothing by it obviously. I just felt bad for the guy.
He hadn’t removed his gaze from mine and the tension was strange and uncomfortable.
Then I did something really really stupid. I kissed the guy.