Chapter 16
KIRILL
She went off like a firework the moment she touched herself, and that breaks me. Or maybe it’s Tess’ mouth, her generosity, and the fact she got so wet while I fucked her face that she came. Either way, pleasure floods me, pushing up from the base of my spine and up my length.
I empty.
I roar Tess’ name like an animal.
She swallows everything down, her throat working over me.
I’ve never really understood why people want to have orgasms with someone else, but this is a different sort of pleasure. New, pure, and more intense than anything I’ve felt before.
Slowly, I ease my cock from between her lips. She slumps, and although I’m just as destroyed and boneless, I catch her up and lift her onto the sofa. And when she goes to move, I press my palm to her sternum and shake my head.
My hands tremble as I zip up my jeans. Moments later, I’m back at Tess’ side with a glass of water. I hold it to her mouth like she’s an invalid, and after a second of hesitancy, she drinks. I gently wash her face clean, drying her tears and wiping away the mess I made of her.
Her fingers though, I suck the honey from those, and she blinks in surprise.
“Better now?” I ask.
She huffs with gentle laughter and nods.
It’s a wrench, but I return to my desk, and watch her from the corner of my eyes.
She’s smiling as she reads on her new e-reader, and my heart is as soft as warm fudge. I’m glad I bought that for her. I’m stupidly keen to indulge her, be it orgasms, books, or even unleashing my lust to calm her concerns about me.
Not even two days, and this girl has lodged herself into my soul in a way that I thought only sadistic torture, death, and the satisfaction of hacking into more and more difficult computer systems could.
Her joy brings me joy. Having her with me, instead of the arsehole I was expecting, has been a revelation.
But when my computer flickers back to life, my stomach drops through the floor.
My trap worked far faster than I anticipated. I have a meet-up arranged with a man I know to be a monster of the worst kind. This afternoon.
How can I keep Tess, and also do this? I’ve been happy with her across from me, bringing a sweetness into my life that I had no idea I lacked. Maybe even needed.
I try to imagine taking Tess to Blackfen and splitting my time between the basement and being with her. It’s unsatisfactory. She could stay here, but what if she was bored? What if she escaped?
I could only visit my innocent little captive sometimes, so I don’t like that solution either.
I can’t look after Tess the way she deserves and also spend hours and days torturing men who deserve it. Not with the regularity I have been, anyway.
She said that I kept bad company, and I fear she’s right. I’ve been spending time with revolting scumbags who hurt children for their own selfish gratification, thinking that on some level, I was making amends because I’m unfeeling too.
But being with Tess has made me realise that I’m not indifferent. I do feel.
I want to keep destroying those evil men, but I think I’d like to have Tess by my side. I think it would be good to share the burden of my hobby.
Oh shit. I just realised it’s a burden.
That’s… Not really a hobby, is it? It’s a chore.
I’ve believed for so long that I’m the only one who can take out the rubbish, and that I deserved to suffer this duty. But what if it could be shared? What if I could spend my time with people I liked and respected?
Loved, even.
Like Tess.
My heart skips.
I love her.
I… I can’t believe it.
“You okay?” she asks, gazing at me across the room.
Swallowing, I look back at my computer screen. “Sure.”
“What’s that expression about?”
I love you.
I’d do anything for you.
“Nothing.”
“Mmmhuh. You don’t want to tell me.” She rolls her eyes and returns to reading her hockey smut.
I can’t sustain this. I have a decision to make.
And just as when I first saw Tess, it’s not a choice. My body has already decided.
It doesn’t take me long to hack into the relevant group chat, given that Mayfair gave me his phone number in the futile hope I’d use it. And then it’s a case of checking what they’re talking about, and bingo.
There’s an event. I check the details, and then search through Tess’ web history to see if there’s anything appropriate. Only a few minutes, and I find something perfect, and I send the link to one of my men to acquire it. He gets the easy job today.
Then I email my second-in-command. My hobby is an open secret amongst those in the Blackfen mafia. They’re all vetted, and they might be ruthless, but they have a dark sort of moral code. This is the first time I’ve asked my men to be actively involved.
A response comes within minutes.
With pleasure, Pakhan.
Almost like he’s been waiting for me to allow him to help. Perhaps I could have asked earlier, and not had to do all the killing on my own.
Thankfully, I’m not left with that uncomfortable thought for long, as my order for Tess arrives in less than an hour.
“We’re going out this evening,” I tell her, dropping the bags onto the sofa.
“What?” She tilts her head up to look into my eyes. “Why?”
Because you inadvertently hit a nerve.
“You’ll wear this.” I unzip the dress bag, and indicate the delicate pink silk.
Her eyes go wide as recognition hits. “That’s—”
“Yes.” I cut her off. “If you were looking at it because you thought it was ugly, bad luck.”
She’s silent for a moment, full of curiosity, and what feels absurdly like trust. Then nods. “Where are we going?”
I swallow. “You’ll see.”