11. Regret
CHAPTER 11
REGRET
MILES
W hat the fuck was I thinking back there? I close the door to my room and stand still, taking several deep breaths. Licking my lips, I can still taste Delilah and I go into the bathroom to splash cold water on my face.
She’s delectable, and I want to go back for more. Delilah tastes like fucking honey.
This is her fault. I walked by her room wanting to talk and that’s when I heard her moaning my name in the throes of an obvious orgasm. The idea of Delilah touching herself while thinking of me is incredible, and I listened like a pervert before running into the kitchen to regain my composure.
Seeing her enter the kitchen flushed and unsteady on her feet made me want Delilah more than ever.
“It can never happen again. Nanny. Lola. Andrew.”
I need sex. This proves that more than ever and I know I can just find a random woman and have my way with her before returning to normal life. I’m a pro hockey player and that’s one of the easier parts of the job if I want it. Lola is three now and well-cared for, so I can take some time for myself.
That’s why people get nannies, whether they are single or taken.
I shower and take care of myself in the hot water, telling myself I will never touch Delilah again.
In the morning, I wake up when it’s still dark and work out for a while. By the time I’m showered and ready to leave for practice, the girls are up for the day and I can’t bring myself to look at Delilah. I’ll never get the memory of how she looked coming for me last night out of my head. I kiss Lola goodbye and walk out to my car, leaning back in the seat with a sigh.
Time will fix this. We’ll forget it happened and I’ll sleep with some woman and get it out of my system. Lola needs to be my priority here.
When I get to the arena and dress for the skate, I only feel slightly better. Seeing Andrew sends my anxiety into a spiral, and I drop my bag in front of my cubby.
“Are you good, Miles? You seem a little unsettled.”
Andrew looks at me from the bench beside me as he takes a break from lacing his skates.
“I’m good. Long workout and I am just feeling a little jittery, I guess.”
That sounds legit, since he knows how much I work out. I pull on my practice jersey and shake my hair out. I should get it cut soon.
“It seems like more, but okay. Is Lola good?”
“Great. I saw her before I left. Thanks again for the nanny suggestion. It’s helped a lot.”
Why can’t I say his sister’s name? I am going to blow this out of the water.
“No problem. I knew you’d need it, and my sister seems to be doing a great job. You, on the other hand, might need to do something for yourself to be less neurotic.”
“I’ll be fine on the ice.”
We go out as a team and listen to what the plans are for this practice. Shooting goals sounds perfect and I land several pucks in the net as we pass to each across the ice and go in for the kill. It feels good and I grin as I head back to get in line again.
“You seem aggressive today, Miles. Still riding an adrenaline high from the win? Ready to do it again tomorrow?”
“So ready. We’re on fire.”
I smile at Gabe, and he nods at me with an approving grin. I’ve got this.
“I’m glad you got the nanny thing settled. I got a glimpse of them at the game and Lola looked happy. You both deserve that.”
“It’s great having someone I trust that also works well with my family. She can ask for help if she ever needs it and it sure worked out well at the game. I hope Lola comes to more of them.”
“I don’t see why she can’t. She’s going to be a fan of this with more exposure.”
“Absolutely.”
I’ve seen videos of Gabe’s twin boys shooting goals in their basement at just four years old. Will that be Lola later in life?
Coach works the new guys into the lines he sets up, having everyone practice together to find a flow. They pass and communicate across the ice as they move, which is critical in this game.
“Great job!” I see Gabe grinning as he watches and smiles. “We’re going hard for the cup this year.”
There is a chorus of agreement among the team gathered around the bench, and I smile at my brothers. We’re solid, and I am so glad to have them standing behind me.
“Is Del cooking dinner tonight?”
Andrew follows me out to the parking lot several hours later, and I turn to gaze at him.
“I don’t know. Are you hungry?”
“So hungry, and I think she’ll make something healthier than the greasy burger I want to devour. I also don’t get to see my sis as often these days. I am going to send her a text.”
I hope Delilah convinces him not to come over. It’s too soon after what I am calling the incident and we’re figuring out how to be around each other with Lola.
“Yes! She’s making pot roast like Mom does. I am going to eat all of it.”
“You’re coming over?”
“I am. Del says dinner will be ready in about half an hour.”
We drive separately to my house, and I sigh as I walk in through the garage in front of Andrew, keeping it low so he doesn’t hear me. It smells incredible, and I inhale as my stomach growls.
“Sister of mine!”
Andrew steps forward to hug Delilah and I instantly notice the soft green dress that clings to her curves.
“Hey. I’m glad you came over.”
Her eyes say otherwise as Delilah briefly lets her gaze pass over me.
“Lola-bean. What are you up to?”
Andrew walks over to kiss my daughter’s head, and she looks up from her pile of plastic food.
“Bean!”
She holds out a pea pod, and we all laugh, although I force mine.
“Close counts for something, right?”
Delilah checks the crock pot and stirs gently. She’s focusing way too much on the task and it’s obvious how much effort she’s making not to look at me. I glance at Andrew and he’s talking to Lola, and I hope he doesn’t notice this.
“That is a pea, Lola. Not a bean.”
Andrew boops her nose, making my daughter giggle in that free way I often envy. I offer to help Delilah, but she quickly assures me she’s fine if I can watch Lola for a bit. There’s still no eye contact and I sit on the couch near my daughter, looking at her vast pile of fake food. She’s spoiled and I roll my eyes when I see some repeats in there.
I let Lola make me a plate of food that would never go together in real life, smiling as I thank her.
“Del’s tired. I can tell. Must have been a long day.”
Andrew glances at his sister and I watch as he searches her face.
“She watches this little tornado for a job.” I stroke Lola’s cheek and she offers me a sweet smile.
We sit down to eat, and I notice Delilah is now across the table from me with Lola at the head of the table between us. It’s different, but I know why she’s doing this. Andrew eats his weight at dinner as he asks Delilah all kinds of questions. They’re not too invasive and I watch quietly as she fires back vague but acceptable answers as she watches Lola carefully through the meal.
Delilah manages a cheesecake for dessert, knowing how much Andrew loves it. Even under pressure, the woman is incredible.
When we’re finally alone, she disappears to get Lola ready for bed. Andrew left with a smile on his face and a full belly and didn’t seem to pick up on anything between us. I sit on the couch with some water, waiting for her to come back into the room so we can talk. I don’t know quite what to say, but something needs to happen here.
It’s an hour later and I’m sitting in the room as Delilah walks back into the kitchen.
“Did she take that long to go to sleep?”
“Extra stories. You know how much she loves that.”
She won’t look at me, and I stand up and rush to the kitchen.
“Why won’t you look at me?”
My voice rises and I watch as she swallows thickly before looking at me.
“How can I when my brother is here eating with us? The timing was awful on that, by the way.”
“It wasn’t my idea, but how was I supposed to protest it and not look suspicious? Us barely talking isn’t hiding anything.”
“All I think about is what happened between us and if I look at you in front of anyone, I am going to blow it. Lola would probably notice. I want to explode!”
“That makes two of us.”
There’s a rush of air and I feel Delilah against me, kissing me hard. Her arms are around my neck and our tongues dance together as I slide my hands around her hips. Something inside of me feels peace with her like this, and I tilt my head to deepen the kiss.
Something tells me we’re not stopping this time and I know I’m not capable of doing that. After kissing for what feels like hours, I lift Delilah into my arms and carry her to my room. She holds onto my neck, and I hold her legs, since her dress is tight around them. Slipping her onto the mattress, I stare into her face as our eyes lock.
“Do you want this, Delilah? I can’t stop a second time with you.”
“More than I have ever wanted anything.”
She reaches for my track pants, sliding them down to bare my painful erection to her. Delilah is not wasting any time tonight and I rip my shirt off, tossing it to the side. She leans forward, stroking me before taking me into her mouth as I groan her name. She’s good at this and I slide my hands into her curls as she moves, wrapping her heat tightly around me with breaks to lick me in slow, teasing motions. I will not last, and I try to pull her away, but Delilah holds my ass as she takes me deep into her throat.
“Fuck.”
I come, unable to hold off any longer. It’s explosive, and she swallows every drop, staring into my eyes.
“What the hell was that?” I drop to the bed beside her, leaning forward to catch my breath. “I don’t even want to know how you’re so good at that.”
“Something I have been dreaming about.” Delilah stands and takes her dress off, revealing a tiny matching bra and underwear in pink lace that makes me curse again. She moves onto the bed, scooting back to the pillows, as I can’t help but follow her.
I move over to her, kissing her lips despite what just happened between us. All bets are off now, and I unclasp her bra as the kiss deepens, freeing her breasts. They’re a perfect handful and I stroke her nipple, feeling it harden under my finger as Delilah whimpers my name.
“You’re perfect.”
I kiss her again, dragging my tongue through her mouth before kissing down her jaw. Nipping, I feel her arch into me and find the soft skin of her neck with my mouth.
“You’re mine after this, Delilah. All mine.”