Chapter 46
forty-six
IVY
The table at the front of the courtroom felt lonely without Nathalie, Lachlan, and Greer there with her. Ivy held herself so tightly that it hurt to move to look up and see Greer sitting in the witness stand. She hated that Greer had to go through this, that they even had to have any part of their relationship questioned.
By the time they were dismissed, Ivy was ready to collapse. She could barely keep herself upright, and she wasn’t entirely sure how she even managed to walk out of the building. Nathalie caught up to her afterward and wrapped an arm around her waist, walking her directly toward the car.
“Greer was perfect,” Ivy murmured. “Exactly what she needed to do and say.”
“She was,” Nathalie agreed, half holding Ivy up as they went. “This’ll all be over soon, I promise.”
Ivy smiled, but she knew it probably looked more like a grimace than anything else. She had tried to pay attention all day, but she hadn’t really managed to take in all the information and arguments that were happening. The lawyers yakked, and she sat there, trying to look stoic.
What she hated more than anything was that Greer had left after her time on the stand was up. She was home alone, by herself with the kids, trying to work through and process that entire event on her own and Nathalie and Lachlan were there with her.
Nathalie helped her get into the back seat of the Suburban and then shut the door. The silence of the car was so loud but so comforting, like the warm embrace of her bed after a long day at work. Ivy breathed it in, the scent of stale food, the quiet hum of cars driving past them. The front doors opened and closed, and Lachlan and Nathalie were in the front seats, taking the wheel and taking control.
That was exactly what she needed right now, because it hurt too much to think about how much damage this divorce was doing to everyone. And if she focused on it for too long, it would tear her apart. It already had several times over, and it was only these two women and Greer who had sewn her back together.
She loved them for that.
“What did the judge say at the end?” Ivy asked, molding herself into the seat as she stared out the window.
Nathalie drove, her hands tight on the wheel. “He said that he’ll have a decision soon.”
“So it’s done, right?”
“Yeah, mostly anyway.”
“Right.” Ivy was exhausted. She’d used all of her energy to sit in that room and listen to the accusations lobbed at her and every single person she loved. She listened to them tear her down and say she was a horrible parent and that the boys should never be left with her, and she’d sat there while her lifestyle was questioned.
But how was love a lifestyle?
That question kept ringing through her head on repeat. How was her loving Nathalie and Lachlan and Greer a lifestyle choice? How was her family that she created a choice? Because as far as she could tell, it had been absolutely necessary.
Without them, she never would have been able to make it this far. She never would have had the support and the strength to file and leave Penny. She never would have found out what it truly meant to be loved. And she still questioned whether or not she deserved it sometimes.
Which she hated.
“Your lawyers said they’d call in the morning. They don’t expect a ruling for the next few days.” Lachlan sounded so confident.
Had Ivy been so out of it that she hadn’t even been able to retain that information? It was like she was living on another plane of existence right now. And she really needed to come back to Earth and be the parent and partner that she promised them that she would be.
She must have fallen asleep, because the next thing she knew, Nathalie was pulling up at her house and parking the car in the driveway. Lachlan was at her door in an instant, opening it up and leaning in.
“Hey, we’re home.”
Home.
That word echoed through Ivy’s soul and rocked her. This was home. Not the house, that didn’t really matter. But these women, all of them—they were her home. Lachlan reached in and started to pull at Ivy’s seatbelt. She really was still in the twilight zone, wasn’t she? Hurriedly trying to hit the button to get her belt undone, Ivy worked with Lachlan to stand up and found herself squinting at the sunlight.
Ivy didn’t take a step toward the house, though. She wrapped her arms around Lachlan’s waist and stepped into a hug. She held herself there, closing her eyes and breathing in Lachlan’s scent. She had to believe that everything would work out for the best, that she would be able to have her cake and eat it too. Because what else was there?
“You okay?” Lachlan asked, rubbing her hand up and down Ivy’s back.
“Yeah. I think I will be.” Ivy smiled before pulling back and looking into Lachlan’s eyes. “I really think that I will be, that we’ll be all right.”
“You sound like you’re high.”
Ivy laughed, but she didn’t say anything else as she leaned in and kissed Lachlan soundly. “I might be a little high right now.”
“Are you serious?”
“No!” Ivy squeezed Lachlan’s arms and kissed her again. “But it’s done, right?”
“I mean, yeah. What kind of nap did you take? I want one.” Lachlan pouted.
Ivy laughed and pulled Lachlan into Nathalie’s house. She wanted to see the boys and hug them while they were still hers for a little longer. She wanted to bask in this moment before everything changed, before she had to either deal with Penny’s wrath or her own disappointment and failure. It was the least she could do, right?
“Let’s make a big meal.”
“Nathalie suggested we order…”
“Nah, let’s cook.” Ivy walked straight into the kitchen and pulled off her suit jacket, tossing it over one of the kitchen chairs. “I need to keep my hands busy.”
“Cooking it is.” Lachlan pulled off her jacket too. “I’m just going to check on the twins.”
“Tell the boys to come say hi to me.” She just had to figure out what she was going to tell Leon because he would absolutely have a million questions for her. He had, almost every step of the way so far. Ivy leaned over the kitchen sink and started washing her hands. This was a brilliant plan. Distract herself from the reality of the divorce being just a few days away from final and put all of her time and effort into her family the way it was now.
Ivy caught Nathalie and Lachlan sharing a look, one that didn’t quite make her feel comfortable, and they didn’t leave the kitchen. Instead, they came right toward her and eyed her over. “We’re worried,” Lachlan said.
Ivy sighed. “I’m fine.”
“You’re neurotic,” Nathalie added.
“Would you…” Ivy trailed off, stepping up closer to Nathalie and pressing their mouths together. She meant for the kiss to be quick, but she couldn’t stop herself from stepping in and deepening it. Nathalie hummed and gave her exactly what she was looking for. Ivy wrapped her arms around Nathalie’s neck and leaned backward slightly, feeling the push of Nathalie’s round belly against hers. If she focused on it, she might be able to feel the baby kick. Breaking the kiss, Ivy smiled at her. “Would you go check on Greer? Please. I need to know that she’s being taken care of.”
“Me?” Nathalie frowned. “I’m not the caregiving type.”
Ivy hummed again, canting her head to the side and shaking it. “You’re a doctor, you’re a mother, and you’re my best friend—what story are you in that you’re not a caregiving type?”
“I’m not.” Nathalie ran her hands down Ivy’s arms. “And Greer needs you and Lachlan right now, not me.”
“No. Ivy’s right.” Greer’s voice echoed through the kitchen. She didn’t say anything else, but they all turned to face her.
“Why me?” Nathalie scrunched her face up. “Really, Lachlan would be better.”
Greer shook her head. “No, she wouldn’t.”
Nathalie looked from Greer to Ivy and back again. “I’m clearly missing something.”
Ivy nodded and stepped in close to Nathalie, taking her hand and leading her around the kitchen counter. “Yes, you are.”
She cupped Greer’s cheek and kissed her, Nathalie’s hand still in hers. “You were amazing today.”
“I didn’t feel like it,” Greer mumbled.
“What?” Nathalie snapped. ”Really?”
“Yeah.” Greer looked into Nathalie’s eyes. “Really.”
Nathalie scowled. “You were amazing, Greer. And I’m sorry we didn’t get a chance to tell you that when you were done.”
“But I wasn’t supposed to talk to you.” Greer frowned. “I get it. I don’t like it, but I get it.”
Ivy smiled at them both, placing Nathalie’s hand in Greer’s. “See? She needs you. I need someone who actually has a heart that isn’t made of ice.”
“Ouch.” Nathalie pressed her hand to her chest.
“True, though.” Ivy kissed Nathalie’s cheek. “Take her upstairs. The kids will be fine without supervision while Lachlan and I start on dinner.”
Ivy lost herself in making a meal that would feed all of them for at least two days. She loved cooking and allowed the rhythms and gentle conversation that had nothing to do with her divorce ease her weary muscles. She couldn’t believe that this was almost over. For two and a half years she’d been fighting Penny tooth and nail, and it was finally coming down to an end.
Some kind of end.
She still hated that she didn’t know which one, but just being this close was pushing her closer to the edge of a nervous breakdown. And she had to stay strong—at least for a few more days. Then depending on the answer that she got, she could fall into a pit of despair if she needed to.
The kids ran underfoot, stealing scraps of food from the countertop as they went, and moved back into the playroom. Ivy just smiled at them. Who knew how many more times she’d be able to witness that? With everything so in the air, she just wanted to enjoy what little time she had with everything the way it was—at least for now.
“I’m going to go get Greer and Nathalie for dinner.” Ivy wiped her hands on the towel and started out of the kitchen. It had been close to an hour, so they should be rested and ready to come back down.
She stopped by Nathalie’s room first, figuring they had ended up there. She didn’t bother to knock as she stepped into the darkened bedroom. She stopped short when the light from the hallway reached their bodies, curled around each other and fast asleep on the mattress, Greer pressed up behind Nathalie.
That had been exactly what they both needed.
Saying nothing, Ivy tiptoed out of the room and headed back downstairs. She caught Davina in her arms and swung her around as she headed back toward the kitchen, popping her onto her hip. “They’re passed out.”
“Really?” Lachlan frowned and then glanced at the clock. “We should probably wake them up.”
“Let them sleep. They need it.” Ivy put Davina onto the kitchen counter. “Gotta wash your hands for dinner.”
Davina babbled as she did what she’d been told, and Ivy went to get the rest of the kids. This was exactly what she needed. Some sense of normalcy and love.