Chapter 3
Chapter Three
Ella and Will loaded up the car for a trip back to New York City on the Sunday after Thanksgiving.
Their lives had begun in that city. Their music careers had flourished, and they’d fallen in love and had their children.
As it happened, both Laura and Will needed a ride and were grateful not to take the bus or train, which would be packed with travelers.
Ella appreciated squeezing a little more time in with her children. The weekend had gone too quickly.
On the ferry to the mainland, Laura slid glumly out of the car, pulled the hood of her coat over her head, and went to the top deck to look out over the water.
Ella watched her from the window, sipping a cup of coffee, her heart pounding.
Will appeared beside her, gripping his own coffee and waving his phone.
“Grayson says he made a reservation for tonight,” Will explained. “Tatiana’s. I’ve heard about this place for years but never thought we’d make it.”
Ella recognized the swanky Italian restaurant, too.
She’d dreamed of their creamy pastas and their juicy artichokes and their divine pours of red wine.
Grayson had picked the restaurant for no reason.
Probably it was the kind of place he went all the time, the kind of restaurant he often met clients at.
Now, he wanted to use Will and Ella’s music to advertise his anti-plastic initiative, and he wanted to discuss the details of that agreement there, of all places.
“Sounds great,” Ella breathed, then clicked her nail against the window. “Do you think something is up with Laura?”
Will narrowed his eyes. Ever since they’d learned about Grayson Harris’s affection for their music, Will’s conversation and tone had been nothing but bubbly and expectant. This was part of the reason Ella hadn’t brought up Laura’s moods.
“I’m sure she’s stressed,” Will offered. “I can’t imagine what being a grad student is like. A grad student in philosophy, no less. I’m sure she feels overwhelmed with all those concepts.” He waved his hand through the air, clearly talking about something he didn’t know anything about.
Ella didn’t know anything about it either. She hadn’t really bothered with college.
Ella crossed her arms and peered past her husband to Danny, who was chatting up the guy behind the coffee counter, a guy he’d gone to Nantucket High School with.
Ella remembered that divine year, when she’d brought Danny home to the island and watched him excel.
He’d been captain of the football team. He’d learned to sail, and he’d swum every day.
Sometimes it terrified her to think of what might have happened to him if they’d stayed in the city.
Should Laura have lived in Nantucket for a while? Would that have cured her of whatever this ailment was?
As the ferry neared the mainland, the four of them got back in the car and readied for the five-hour drive to the city.
Will and Danny pretended to argue about what album to listen to, while Laura continued to stare out the window, her eyes hollow.
Nervous, Ella searched her pockets for her phone and removed it to find—of all things—a text from Stevie Franklin.
STEVIE: Hey. Sorry I missed your call the other night.
Ella’s pulse skyrocketed. She remembered how, after Thanksgiving dinner, she’d felt panicked and strange, thinking about Laura and all the things you couldn’t possibly know about your just barely adult daughter.
It made her think of the friends she’d lost throughout the years and the troubles they’d gotten into.
It reminded her of how awful it was to lose contact with those we loved.
Before Ella could gather her thoughts, Stevie sent another text.
STEVIE: I was thinking about you the other night, too. I found myself on stage for the first time in years. Singing. Sometimes I can’t believe that was ever my life. Anyway, I hope you’re doing well. Happy Holidays.
As Ella’s thoughts twisted into tangles, Will and Danny burst into song, creating a sort of karaoke zone in the car.
Ella turned to watch as Danny threw his head back.
Even Laura’s lips twisted into a half smile, as though she couldn’t help it.
Ella was overwhelmed with a sense of joy.
She couldn’t believe she was so lucky to have all this.
* * *
But very soon after their trip began, they hit bumper-to-bumper traffic. Horns blasted out from all directions.
“An accident up ahead,” Danny said, reciting what he read on his phone.
“Shoot.” Will’s face scrunched with worry. He didn’t want to be late for Grayson Harris, who held their future in his very wealthy and smooth hands.
“It’ll be fine,” Ella assured him, touching his shoulder. “We left the island with plenty of time.”
But by the time they reached the city, they had only an hour before their dinner reservation.
Panic sizzled in everything they did. They decided to divide and conquer.
Because the restaurant was closest to Laura’s apartment, which she shared with her boyfriend Vinny, Will dropped Laura off by herself.
There she stood on the street corner, clutching the straps of her backpack as first Ella, then Will, then Danny hugged her goodbye.
“Good luck with your thing,” Laura said.
Ella’s heart shattered at the edges. Something wasn’t right with this scene. “We love you, sweetheart,” she said.
Laura’s bottom lip quivered, as though she were on the brink of tears.
That was all it took for Ella to yank around and announce to Will, “I’m going to help Laura with her stuff. I’ll meet you at the restaurant.”
From the opposite side of the car, Will blinked at her, as though he couldn’t understand her. “What?”
“It’s just a few blocks away,” Ella told him, turning to put her hand on Laura’s back. “I can walk.”
“It’s freezing outside.” Will furrowed his thick eyebrows and looked as though he planned to beg her to get back into the car.
“I won’t be late!” Ella promised him, hurrying Laura to her front stoop.
Laura’s hand shook as she turned the key in the lock. “You really don’t have to do this, Mom,” she said, her voice weak. Ella wondered if she was ill or something. Maybe she didn’t have enough iron in her blood. Perhaps she wasn’t eating enough.
“Let me carry your bag,” Ella offered.
“Mom…” Laura scrunched up her face and finally opened the door, using what seemed to be all her strength.
Finally, they were in the foyer. It was dark in the entire apartment, vacuous and shadowy.
Ella hurried to flick on the lights, first in the kitchen and then in the living room.
It was then she noticed that the massive green sofa, Laura’s pride and joy, was missing.
In its place was a big space between the rug and the wall.
“Where’s the sofa?” Ella asked, trying to keep her voice light. But as her eyes scanned up from the floor, over to the bookshelf, and into the bedroom, she realized that many more things were missing. Books. Plants. Paintings. Her heart thudded in her ears.
She felt it in her bones that Vinny was gone.
She turned to find Laura in a heap on the little chair in the corner. Laura sobbed into her pink hands. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t want you to see it like this.”
Ella hurried over and touched her daughter’s back.
She felt the shame and hurt reverberating through her spine.
“Honey, these things happen,” she said. The truth was, when Laura first announced she was moving in with Vinny, Ella wanted to protest and tell her she was too young to make such an enormous decision.
But Laura knew how young Ella and Will had been when they’d gotten together.
When you were twenty-one, you were supposed to make these mistakes.
“That isn’t even the half of it,” Laura cried.
Ella sighed, knowing that any young woman Laura’s age would say the same about a breakup.
Ella fetched a glass of water and sat on the floor in front of her sobbing daughter, waiting for her to calm down.
Passively, she thought of Grayson Harris and Will, of their pivotal meeting.
It all paled compared to Laura’s grief. Finally, Laura hiccuped, reached for the glass of water, and drank with her eyes closed.
“He moved to Europe,” she explained finally, then wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. “He got a job in Brussels and told me about it only after he’d accepted. I couldn’t believe it. I mean, we’d been talking about getting engaged!”
“Oh, honey. I’m so sorry. Sometimes people don’t really know what they want,” Ella said.
Laura’s eyes snapped with a sudden rush of rage. “He’ll never know what he left behind.”
What she said surprised Ella. Ella had never imagined her very chill, very cool daughter would demonize a man for a simple breakup, especially one that happened because he ran off to pursue his dreams. When Ella leaned back, searching her mind for what to say, Laura got up, put her hand over her mouth, and ran into the bathroom to throw up. She didn’t have time to close the door.
Only then did it hit Ella.
Laura was pregnant.
That was the reason for the long gazes across the Nantucket Sound. That was the reason for her anger. That was the reason she was so confused.
Ella’s heartbeat slowed so much that she felt as though she were underwater.
She tiptoed to the doorway and peered into the dark bathroom, watching as Laura cleaned her face in the mirror.
Ella remembered when she’d first gotten pregnant with Laura.
She remembered the rush, the fear, and the exhilarated feeling that she was part of something bigger than herself.
But Ella had had Will. Will had wanted their baby, and they’d been happy.
Laura was alone.
Suddenly, Laura turned on her heel, glared at Ella, and said, “I dropped out of grad school.”