Chapter 9
After I assured Will that I would update him when I could, I immediately went back to Hazel’s book.
I was desperate to see what else she had written in there.
I was so zoned in that I almost missed the sounds of reporters gathering outside.
At some point during the afternoon, they’d started arriving at the house by vanloads.
One quick Google search told me everything I needed to know.
Hazel’s disappearance had been picked up by the local news, and now her connection to me was out to the public.
It was almost dinnertime when my family finally returned to the house, exhausted and red eyed.
I heard the uproar as they drove in, the shouts from the reporters as Tommy, Suzannah, and my father tried to inch their cars through the circus into the drive.
I headed out the front door without thinking.
It was even worse than it had sounded. The street and front yard were filled with vans, news stations and affiliates printed on their sides.
Cameras flashed as Tommy’s car tried to push through, photographers pressing their lenses directly against the windows, their bodies against the doors.
Detective Newbury was leading a group of uniformed cops to create a cordon.
I waited at the top of the driveway, watching.
“Rose! Rose! Where’s your sister?” I heard someone shout. Fuck. I forgot that showing my face would only bring more attention to us.
“Do you think there’s a copycat, Rose? Or was Will framed?”“Where do you think Hazel is?”“Should the police look for a body?”
My family, finally parked, hustled toward the front door. Tommy and I exchanged a look as he approached. It was so similar to last time. The moment the news broke about Alex’s murder and Will’s arrest, and the media had swarmed us. It had been the beginning of the end.
“It’s a zoo out there,” Tommy said as we shut the door on the commotion, but not before I launched a pointed glare at Newbury, who was following everyone in. “Has it been like that all day?” he asked me.
My father went straight for the fridge and took out a beer, taking a large sip.
“Yes. They’re fucking vultures,” I replied, drawing the thick curtains on the front window so no one could see in. “They’ve been here for hours.”
My dad shook his head, speaking up. “It’s no use hiding, Rose. They’re going to be there all night. Just like last time. It’ll be weeks before we have any peace. Even if …” He stopped, his lip twitching as he took another sip of his beer.
If wasn’t a place any of us were willing to go yet.
“Did you guys find anything today?” I pressed. The reporters’ presence wasn’t helping to alleviate my anxiety.
Tommy shook his head. “No. But thank god we left the kids at Suzannah’s parents,” he said. “They don’t need to experience this.” His eyes looked hard and pained.
“It was a hard day,” Suzannah whispered to me. Her face was expressionless. “No leads or discoveries or anything. Your mom could barely stand it. She was a wreck when she went back to the hotel.”
Later, we ate reheated sympathy casserole silently at the kitchen counter, none of us saying a word as we scarfed it down.
My father disappeared into the computer room for the night.
I took out my phone, checking it for the first time in hours as Tommy and Suzannah spoke in hushed tones in the corner of the kitchen.
I scrolled past my notifications, now in the hundreds as a result of Hazel’s disappearance hitting the news circuit.
I texted Flannery a quick update and then opened up the most recent text from Marta:
Rose, I am thinking of you and your family. I have taken over your social media and canceled all of your scheduled posts regarding the paperback release. Please let me know if there is anything else I can do. —XO Marta.
I liked the message.
“Paperback release?” Tommy asked, reading the text over my shoulder.
“Yeah, it came out yesterday,” I said, frustrated by the timing.
It was going to look so opportunistic and gauche.
But a small part of me couldn’t help but wonder if it would sell better because of all of this.
I couldn’t exactly be angry at that. Not if after we found Hazel it led to more money for Will’s appeals.
Tommy chewed his lip like there was something else he wanted to say. He steadied himself against the kitchen counter.
“I can’t believe you’re still doing stuff for the book,” he said, sounding disappointed. I didn’t like the look he was giving me.
“I have to pay the bills somehow,” I replied darkly.
Tommy cleared his throat. “You mean Will’s bills.”
“Will’s and mine,” I clarified.
“Do you ever think it was a mistake?” he asked. “Writing the book?”
I felt goosebumps on my neck. I’d been asked the question before.
It was one of the first things people liked to ask whenever they met me.
But my answer was always the same: Of course I didn’t regret it.
That book was the only thing that gave me the resources to keep fighting for Will.
Although now that I knew Hazel had been looking into everything, it felt heavier.
“Why would I regret it?” I asked him, measuring my tone.
Tommy rarely commented on anything to do with the book. I knew he had read it when it came out, but although he’d never banished it like the rest of my family, it clearly made him uncomfortable to talk about.
He shrugged. “It just seems like it’s become your whole life. Your whole identity. It’s the only thing people associate you with. And … I don’t know. I’d always hoped that maybe we could, one day, be known as people other than the siblings of that guy who killed that girl.”
I felt like I had been kicked hard in the shins. Tommy had always been one of the few people in my corner. One of the few people I could lean on.
“I didn’t realize you thought so little of me, Tommy. Or of Will.”
Tommy shook his head. “Hey. That’s not what I meant.”
“Well, what did you mean then?” I asked. I could feel the tension building inside of me. “I know you’re exhausted and had a shit day, but that doesn’t give you a get-out-of-jail-free card to be a dick to me.”
Tommy’s eyebrows lifted with the same loose movement that Dad’s always did when he felt bad for one of us.
“Look, I’m sorry.” He took a deep breath, and he did look slightly remorseful.
“I love you, Rose. I love Will too, but sometimes it feels like a lost cause. That’s all. I just want you to be happy.”
Happy. That was such a relative term. Happiness wasn’t a concept I believed in anymore, not after everything that happened that summer.
My entire life had fallen apart, each pillar that seemed to hold up my happiness rapidly crumbling, week after week.
After that, life became about simply surviving.
The book had given me a purpose. I’d never been able to get past what happened to us like Tommy had. He’d gotten married. Had kids. Bought a house only ten minutes away. He’d found a way to be normal. I didn’t fault him for that, but I didn’t think that was possible for me.
“I’ll be happy when we find Hazel and Will’s out of prison,” I snapped. He just sighed, turning away, and I stomped back to my room like a teenager.
My book was sitting on my bed right where I’d left it, the pages open a third of the way through. I didn’t care what Tommy’s or anyone else’s opinion was. I had been justified in writing it. I knew that. It had provided the only seed of doubt anyone had ever had about Will’s innocence.
I picked it back up, opening to the next chapter.