27. Nate
Chapter 27
We decide to walk back to Declan’s apartment building. I need the fresh air, as well as the time to process what Dex and I uncovered. I know my father’s name, and that he’d loved me and my mom. That means more to me than I ever thought it would.
I’m not trying to excuse Mom’s affair, but it’s clear to me now she loved both men. I can’t even imagine the turmoil that must have caused for her, especially once I came along. As much as we like to believe our parents are above reproach, they have flaws like we all do.
On the way, I send a text to our group chat saying I’ve found something of interest, and asking them to meet me at Declan’s in thirty minutes. I feel bad dragging my brother’s away from their lives once again, but they’ll want to see these letters, too.
I expect to be the first to arrive. As it happens, though, Dex and I are the last, although there’s no sign of the wives and girlfriends.
“This is getting to be a habit, little brother,” Callum says, grinning. “You click your fingers, and we all come running.”
“I can do other things with my fingers, too.” I flip him off.
He throws back his head and laughs. “So, what gives?”
“I found some more letters at the lockup after you all left.”
Declan’s eyebrows fly up his forehead. “You did?”
“In the sideboard.”
“That’s impossible,” Declan says. “I checked. Apart from a few miscellaneous items, the sideboard was empty.”
I shake my head. “One of the drawers had a false bottom.”
Ciaran hisses. “Whoa.”
I twist my lips. “Right? Mom really wanted to keep these letters secret. What I can’t figure out is why, when she took so much care to keep them from prying eyes, she carelessly left that one in a shoebox.”
Declan pulls a knee to his chest and rests his arm over it. “I doubt we’ll ever know. Did you learn anything new from the letters?”
I nod. “I know my dad’s name is Laurence.”
Declan’s eyes flare, and his head jerks back. “Laurence?”
“Yeah. Why? Does that name mean something to you?”
“It does, yeah,” he mutters. “But it can’t be…” He shakes his head, his eyes tightening at the corners. “Can I see the letters?”
I hand them over, trading confused glances with Callum and Ciaran.
“What—?”
“Shh,” Declan interrupts. “Let me take a look. I’m wrong. I must be wrong. It can’t be. It just can’t.”
I rub my forehead, catching Dex’s eye. She’s as bemused as we all are while Declan scans one after the other, setting each one aside after he’s finished. He’s almost through them all when he gasps.
“Oh, hell.”
“What?” My skin prickles as I take in my brother’s pale face and pinched expression. “Declan, what the fuck is going on?”
He pokes his tongue into the side of his cheek and dry washes his hands. “I think I know who your father is. I mean was.”
My eyes widen in shock as Dex stiffens beside me, her hand gripping my thigh. “You do? How?”
Declan passes over one of the letters and taps the paper. “Your father’s full name was Laurence Monroe. There’s a letter here from Dad threatening him to stay away from Mom and from you. I guess Laurence must have sent it to Mom at some point, maybe as leverage to persuade her to pick him over Dad. We’ll never know, I guess.”
I run my hands through my hair, still none the wiser. “Wait. Back up. So, his name was Laurence Monroe. So what?”
Declan bites his lip, his eyebrows squishing together. “Indie’s father’s name was Laurence Monroe.”
There’s a collective gasp around the room. My head spins. Jesus Christ, it all makes sense. All of it. A four-year-old mystery solved by finding old letters hidden away for twenty-eight years. The pieces of the puzzle slot so neatly in place.
I cover my nose and mouth with steepled hands and blow out a breath. “That’s fucked up.”
“I’m conjecturing, and we’ll never know for sure, but my guess is that Mom had it out with Dad over his threatening letter to Laurence—a letter Dad probably never intended her to see.”
“And that’s why Dad ruined Indie’s father financially.”
Declan nods. “And why Indie’s brother was so intent on getting revenge on this family.”
Dex looks completely lost, so I quickly get her up to speed on how Declan met Indie, and the whole mess with Indie’s brother.
“So, Indie’s your half-sister as well as your sister-in-law,” she says when I’ve finished.
My head jerks back. I hadn’t even thought of that. Realization flickers in Declan’s eyes as they cut to mine. Christ, what a mess. I sweep a hand over my face.
Getting to his feet with a heavy sigh, Declan puts his hand on my shoulder. “This must be a hell of a shock for you.”
I grimace. “It’ll take some coming to terms with, that’s for sure, but I reckon it’ll be worse for Indie.”
“I can tell her if you like.”
“No. If it’s all the same to you, I’d like to tell her.”
“She’s gone into the office for a few hours. I’d prefer to let her come home in her own time rather than summon her, if that’s okay with you.”
“Works for me.” It gives me some time to figure out how the hell I’m going to approach this with a woman who might be married to my brother, but one that, due to my own stubbornness and stupidity, I don’t know all that well. “I’d like you there when I tell her, Declan. And you, Dex.” I flash an apologetic glance at the twins. “Might be a bit of overkill if you’re there, too.”
“I’m mortally wounded.” Callum flashes a grin and gets to his feet. He ruffles my hair as if I’m still twelve. “Call us if you need us.”
After the twins leave, Declan disappears into his home office to catch up on some paperwork as well as, I think, give Dex and me some space.
My head flops back against the couch once we’re alone, and I pinch the bridge of my nose as a headache threatens. Dex sits quietly beside me, her presence a soothing balm to the lacerations caused by today’s revelations.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have gone poking around,” I say after a few minutes of silence pass. “Some secrets are better left buried.”
She sits up straight, locking her wise-beyond-her-years gray eyes on me. “Do you really think that? Deep in your heart? You honestly believe it’s better to never know where you came from? To not know that you have a half-sister? And do you think it’s right that Indie goes through life without knowing she has a living blood relative?”
See, this is the thing about Dex. She always manages to smack me right between the eyes with a truth I’m not prepared for.
“I guess not,” I begrudgingly admit.
“Come on.” She gets to her feet and hauls me to mine. “There’s little point sitting around here all afternoon waiting for Indie to get home from work. We can tick a few more things off my to-do list and take your mind off the upcoming difficult conversation at the same time.”
I capture her around the waist, pulling her flush to my body. “Have I told you lately how incredible you are?”
She taps her bottom lip. “Hmm, come to think of it, you have been slacking in the compliment department. If there was a report card on the subject, yours would read: ‘Must Do Better’.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” I drawl, smacking her ass as she slips out of my arms. “Okay, Titch, lead the way.”
Five hours later, with sore feet and aching shoulders, my phone pings with a text. I read it, and my stomach hurtles to the ground at the message.
“It’s from Declan. Indie’s home.”
Dex slips her arm through mine and rests her head on my shoulder. “Are you ready?”
“Not in the slightest.”
“You can always take Declan up on his offer to tell her.”
“Yeah, I know.” I consider it carefully, weighing up the pros and cons. “Maybe that’s the best approach. She’s his wife, and he knows her a lot better than I do. I don’t want to say the wrong thing and upset her.”
I type out a reply letting him know we’re on our way, as well as my decision to let him do the talking. He replies with a thumbs up.
When we arrive, Indie is in the kitchen chopping vegetables, presumably for dinner. Declan’s on the couch reading emails on his iPad. I catch his eye, and he shakes his head to let me know he hasn’t tipped her off that anything is wrong.
She looks up and hits me with a bright smile. “Hey, there you are. Steak okay for dinner? Or are you guys planning to eat out?”
I don’t return her smile. I wonder if Declan feels as nauseous as I do. None of us know how Indie will react. Hell, I can’t get my head around the fact that my half-brother’s wife is my half-sister. It’s like an episode of Dr. Phil.
Declan sets his iPad to one side. “Babe, come and sit down for a minute.”
“Let me just finish this,” she says. “Two seconds.”
“No.” Declan’s response comes out short and sharp.
Indie frowns, her eyes darting between Declan, me, and Dex. “What’s going on?”
Declan gets up, walks over to her, and gently takes her by the elbow, propelling her toward the sofa. “We need to talk to you.”
Her tongue dampens her lips. “Declan, you’re scaring me. What’s going on?”
He settles her on the sofa, taking her hand in his. “As you know, we went to the storage unit today, and, well, Nate found something that affects you.”
She touches the base of her neck, and her fingers hold a slight tremor. “Me? Like what?”
Declan hands her the letter. “You’d better read this.”
I slide a hand up Dex’s thigh. She covers mine with hers and squeezes as Indie scans the letter that is about to blow her life apart. Once she finishes reading, she goes utterly still.
“Indie?” Declan murmurs when several seconds scrape by without her saying a word.
She folds the piece of paper in half and leans forward to set it on the coffee table in front of her. “Finally, I understand,” she says quietly, lifting her eyes to Declan’s. “Why your dad destroyed mine.” She turns her gaze to me. “Ours.”
“Indie…” Declan says, reaching for her.
“Can you give me a few minutes?” she says, pushing him away. “I need a moment to myself.” She gets to her feet, but as she passes me, she pauses. “I won’t be long, then we’ll talk.” And with a quick squeeze of my shoulder, she walks upstairs.
“Shit.” Declan rakes a hand through his hair.
I shift my body nearer to Dex, needing to feel her close to me. “I should have left those letters where they belong. In the past. I shouldn’t have told you what I found.”
“No,” Declan says. “You did the right thing. We’ve had enough secrets in this family.”
The three of us fall into silence. Dex props her head on my shoulder, and I gently caress her inner thigh while we wait for Indie to return.
Within five minutes, she’s back, her spine erect and a determined set to her jaw that I can’t read. I simply don’t know her well enough to second-guess her mindset. I haven’t bothered getting to know any of my brothers’ significant others, too wrapped up in my own misery to try. Everything is different now, though. Indie means a whole lot more to me than simply being Declan’s wife.
He rises to greet her, and she gives him a reassuring smile before she presses a kiss to his cheek. “I wonder if you wouldn’t mind taking Dex out for a coffee or something, Declan. I’d like to talk to Nate alone.”
Dex immediately gets to her feet, leaving me feeling cold and exposed. I’m not averse to holding my own if Indie’s reaction becomes contentious, but it kind of feels like kicking someone when they’re down.
The two of them leave, and the door to the apartment closes. I don’t move from my position on the couch as Indie crosses over to the kitchen, returning with a bottle of beer for me and a glass of wine for herself. I take a swig and rest the bottle in my lap, waiting for her to say something. It seems like the right thing to do.
“I don’t normally drink before seven, but today isn’t exactly normal, right?”
“No, it’s not.”
Her eyes search my face as if she’s looking for some family resemblance. I guess that’s what she’s doing because I find myself doing exactly the same.
“How do you feel?” she asks.
Flicking my tongue over dry lips, I take another swig of my beer. I didn’t expect that to be her first question. After giving it due consideration, I shrug.
“I’m not sure. I’ve known I was the by-product of Mom’s affair for years, yet I never cared to find out who fathered me.”
“And now that you know, how do you feel?”
I tilt my head to one side, ignoring her question. “How are you feeling?”
She rubs her lips together. “I’m not going to lie, it’s a hell of a shock, but, you know, it’s also kind of a relief. I never knew why your father went out of his way to destroy mine, and with all the major players having passed on, I never expected to find out. I’d parked it as one of life’s little mysteries.”
“He shouldn’t have done it.”
“No, he shouldn’t, but we’re all flawed in our own ways, Nate. We all have the capability to lash out when someone hurts us. My dad shouldn’t have had a relationship with your mom, either, especially knowing she was married with three children. Then again, if he hadn’t, well, you wouldn’t be here, and that would be a tragedy.”
A rush of blood heats my cheeks, and I dip my chin to my chest. “Not sure about that,” I mumble.
“I’m sure Dex would agree with me.” A trace of a smile touches her lips. “You know, when Dad died, and then Phil, well…” She drifts off, staring into middle distance before locking eyes with me once more. “I thought I was alone in this world. I mean, I’ve got Declan, of course, but no blood relatives that I’m aware of. And now I have. I’ve got a brother.”
“Half-brother,” I correct, then immediately want to kick myself for being a dick.
Indie doesn’t break stride, though. She breaks into a broad smile. “Half-brother… who’s an ass.” She throws back her head and laughs. It’s impossible not to join in. “I know we’ve never been close, Nate, and I don’t expect us to all of a sudden start texting or speaking on the phone every day, but maybe, over time, we could build some sort of a relationship that’s deeper than just me being married to your brother.”
“I’d like that,” I find myself saying. “I never told you, but you made a really beautiful bride, Indie. I’m so glad I was there to share in your special day.”
She hugs me. “You’re different, Nate, and I don’t mean because of all this stuff with Dad. You’ve been different this whole visit. Your face isn’t quite as hard and bitter.”
A grin breaks free. “You can probably thank Dex, although if you tell her I said that, I will disown you.”
Indie makes a cross against her heart. “Your secret is safe with me.” She lifts her wineglass to her lips and takes a sip. “I’m not sure whether you care or not, but before Dad lost everything, he was a wonderful father. The man in those letters, that’s the man I prefer to remember: loving, kind, funny. Maybe it was losing your mom that made him so angry and bitter, and what your dad did was the icing on the cake that pushed him over the edge. But please don’t think badly of him, or your mom. They were human, just like the rest of us.”
I’m not sure whether I have it within me to be so magnanimous or forgiving, but one thing is certain: the pain and anger Laurence Monroe carried around had, in the end, destroyed those he loved. I refuse to be that man.
“Nor of Phil,” Indie continues. “He was your half-brother, too, and despite what you might think, especially after what he tried to do to Declan, he wasn’t a bad person, just misguided.”
I nod but remain silent. Working on forgiving my mom and my birth father is one thing. Showing any kind of charity to the guy who almost got Declan killed is quite another.
“If you want to know anything about Dad or Phil at any time, please just ask me.”
“Thanks. I will,” I say.
She gives my hand a squeeze. “There’s no rush.”
“I am sorry about what my dad did to your dad. Our dad.” I chuckle. “Shit, this is gonna get real confusing.”
She smiles with me. “I’ve always believed the true father is the one who brings up a child, cares for them when they’re sick, reads them stories at night, and cleans their scraped knees when they fall. That’s what your dad did for you. And as for what went on between our fathers, well…” She shrugs. “There’s nothing to be done about the past. I don’t think Dad deserved what your father did to him. It takes two people to have an affair, but I’m guessing he loved your mom so much, he was consumed with hatred and jealousy.”
“Yeah, and I was a permanent reminder of her betrayal.”
“Yet he chose to stay with her and bring you up as his own. That shows the strength of his love. We all make mistakes, Nate. Christ knows, I’ve made tons, not to mention one that almost got Declan killed and resulted in Phil’s death. I’m just glad the bad shit stopped with our parents, and we can find a way to move into the future together.”
I get to my feet and stick out my elbow. “Come on, sis. Let’s go put Declan and Dex out of their misery.”
I text him to find out where he is, and he replies with the name of a coffee shop down the street from his building. When we arrive, Callum and Ciaran are there, too. Declan must have called them after Indie asked him to leave us alone.
I sit next to Dex, sliding my arm around her shoulder and tucking her into my side as I kiss her temple.
“You okay?” Declan asks, tucking Indie into his side.
“Yeah, we’re good.” I turn to the twins. “Declan caught you up?”
“Yep,” Callum says. “Do me a favor, bro. Don’t ever ask me to draw your family tree.”
“You’re such an ass,” Ciaran says, rolling his eyes at his twin.
“I’m sorry,” I say, looking at each of my brothers in turn. “I wish I’d had the courage to tell you years ago, but I was so damned hurt, so angry at Dad, furious with Mom, and so scared of losing you, even though I kept pushing you away.”
“It’s in the past, Nate,” Declan says. “Don’t keep beating yourself up over something that wasn’t your fault.”
I bite down on my lip. “I hope I haven’t ruined your memory of Mom.”
“Mom was human,” Ciaran says. “That’s all. You haven’t ruined anything. She just happened to love two different men. She put all of us first, and that makes her pretty damn special in my book.”
“Mine, too,” Callum says.
“And mine,” Declan says.
Dex edges closer to me until you couldn’t fit a sheet of paper between our bodies. “You know what this means?” she murmurs.
I look down at her. “No.”
“That I’m always right.”