21. Asher
twenty-one
Asher
E verything inside me felt like it was shredding apart as I saw the familiar eyes glaring down at Maya.
There was no way that this was all a coincidence anymore. I suspected her dream was more than a dream, but I didn’t want to believe it. And then my stupidity allowed me to believe it was just some bad dream. I let my guard down twice now.
Maya looks up at me as I rush back to the shop. I can’t keep my composure as everything inside me feels like a swirling mass of chaos. So many emotions course through my blood. Confusion, anger, sadness. I thought I had paid my dues hundreds of years ago and was finally finished with it. But as he stood there in front of us, the realization that I was still just chained down as I was 600 years ago hit me like a slap in the face. I am just as much a slave to this curse now as I was then.
Maya is pushing against me, trying to stop me from taking us back to the shop, and I pick her up and throw her over my shoulder.
“Asher, what’s wrong?” She calls out. Her voice is confused, and I can’t bring myself to speak. I ignore her and continue to power forward.
I let my guard down, and she got hurt because of it.
“Asher, please talk to me. Please,” her voice is now shaky with fear, but I do not answer. I can’t answer.
I hold her firmly over my shoulder, and she begins to kick her arms and legs, demanding that I put her down.
“Maya, I need you to trust me,” I say quietly. A silent beg that I hoped she wouldn’t question. Shivers begin going up my spine, and I frantically glance around us to ensure we are alone. Every few seconds, it feels like a ghost from the past is slowly catching up with me.
“Asher,” Maya says suddenly, quietly. Her sudden change in demeanor catches my attention, and I stop in my tracks. “Please put me down.” She says quietly. She sounds as if she’s on the brink of tears, and I set her down in front of me. She stares at me with big, sad eyes, and I crouch down in front of her.
The back road we had taken to get home was completely quiet, with only a few street lights lighting up a long line of abandoned shops next to us. Cheerful music from the festival still played loudly in the distance and floated through the air around us. The snow was falling heavier, casting a low fog in the distance.
“What’s wrong?” She looks at me, and her eyes are brimming with tears. It brings an ache to my heart, and I grab her hands. She doesn’t pull away, and her hands slightly tremble in mine.
“I will explain everything when we get back to the shop. I promise.” I look at her for the first time in a long time, and I can feel my own eyes beginning to water. It was a feeling that I had not felt for hundreds of years, and suddenly, a tear slipped down my cheek. I freeze with surprise.
Maya stared at me, shocked for a moment, before reaching out a hand and gently wiping the tear away with her thumb. She stepped forward, hugged my head into her chest, and held me tightly.
“I don’t know how I’m supposed to protect you,” I whisper. My lip trembles and more tears threaten to break free.
“You don’t have to protect me, Asher,” Maya says. She runs her fingers through my hair, loosening my bun and holding my head close. Her voice is like ribboned honey, and I yearn for its taste. Her heartbeat is persistent and calm, and the sound relaxes my frenzied heart.
I wrap my arms around Maya’s waist and pull her tightly into me. My hands shake despite my protest to gain control. I hadn’t felt fear in a very long time. I had never seen fear as a kind lover, and tonight was no different.
“Asher,” Maya says again. She lifts my face to look at me, and she searches my eyes. Her own do not hold fear or anger of any kind. “I trust you.”
Her words rang through my head. She had said it dozens of times before this, but for some reason, this time snapped something in me like a chain that had been stuck around my body, keeping me tied down to the Earth and just out of reach of all my desires. Another tear slipped down my cheek. Then another, and Maya hugs me close once again.
Though small, her frame provided me with all the heat and comfort I would need to survive even the coldest of winters for the rest of my life. I held onto her as if she was the last life in a raging storm that felt disrespected by me.
Maya stood there with me and her arms around me in the cold snow for what seemed like forever. I held onto her as if my life depended on it, and even though she shook in the cold, she held strong and stood there for as long as I needed. I felt weak, afraid, and like I had been dropped into an endless ocean of ink. And just as the black sludge began to fill every hole in my body, stealing my breath and cutting off my sight, a familiar hand reached through and grabbed my wrist. With every breath I took, Maya‘s scented vanilla enveloped me and calmed my soul as it unraveled like a spool of existence.
“Asher,” Maya said suddenly. I don’t respond. I continue hugging her and listening to her heartbeat. “Let’s go back home, handsome,” she says gently. It’s then that I realize that she is shivering, and I am as well. The tips of her fingers are red from the cold, as are her nose and ears. And I could feel a dull ache from the cold beginning to form in my bones.
I stood silently before picking her up bridal style and carrying her back to the shop. She leaned into me the entire way back, softly rubbing circles with her fingertips into my chest. As the bakery came into view, I found myself comforted by the only beacon of light in an ocean of thrashing waves.