Naughty Professor (Tainted Professors)

1. Dean

Chapter 1

Dean

The room before me sits mostly quiet. The only sounds are those of the students breathing, their pens on the papers before them, and the sound of those papers flipping over.

Today’s test, a gut-wrenching surprise to them all, is really just for me. I need to know where they are in their knowledge of American Sign Language. Am I the only teacher to give a ‘test’ on the first day of college? Probably, but it’s not a graded test. This will set a precedent, helping me to pace what to teach and how to teach, for the entire year.

I have a sign on the door that says “if you come to my class, be prepared to actually learn.” There’s a reason for that sign. It was the same sign one of my favorite college professors had on his door. He, too, was a test-on-the-first-day-of-class kind of professor.

Wayne Lorramie was the man who’d made sure I became something that mattered.

He’d taken a kid who had no real idea of what he wanted to do with his life and gave him a purpose. I would never have thought I’d have become a teacher. I had no discipline back then. I thought of college as a way to get away from an unhealthy home environment. I’d go to class, put in minimal effort, and just glide by, then I would sort myself out.

He gave me a chance to make my life important. He pushed me to get my shit together.

The computer screen before me flips to the next slide. The people in the pictures are going through the basic signs.

The test moves right along, hopefully engaging those big brains, drawing back what they’d learned and probably hadn’t thought about for the entire summer.

If they are at a beginner level, fine. This was a beginner’s class, after all. If they are all past that point, we can do a quick review then move onto harder things. ASL as a whole isn’t complicated; it’s more a mind game you have to play with yourself.

I look up, making sure the images on the projected screen are fading away and a new one pops up after thirty seconds. They shouldn’t be struggling to make the signs out, but I can see one or two that are looking rather panicked.

I’d been sure most of the young ones in this class would have a good grasp on them, but I’ve seen kids swing into this class not knowing the difference between hello and thank you after supposedly being in an ASL class for a year or more.

I just don’t understand how they either fake knowing something that has to be physically done or completely forget an entire school year’s worth of lessons in an eight-week period.

There are a few extremely happy faces in the front row, and toward the back, I can see the brows creased. Yep, a few are already struggling.

This is why I do these tests on the first day of each semester. No one is leaving this course without learning what I’m teaching. Their failure will be mine. I will not willingly fail them or myself.

Pulling my bag open, I look for one of my highlighters so I can mark the seats that are maybe going to need a little extra help.

I have them right in the big pocket. What I find makes me curse softly. That gods be damned cat. I am going to skin him alive!

My girlfriend’s cat, Stanley—that devil in four-legged, furry form—is a menace. He absolutely hates me, and apparently decided I needed a big ole hairball in my bag. Thankfully, it’s in a folder, and I can just toss the whole thing. I’ll only lose a few papers, and they are for a later class anyway. The smell though. Fucking hell. It’s not even eight am. When and how had he even gotten into my bag?

Tossing the folder into the trashcan, I pull out my bottle of hand sanitizer. As I rub my hands together, I look up, checking on my student's. Two of the kids in the back row are bent together, their papers up slightly.

I stand, keeping a relaxed air about me as I start to walk up the stairs. This particular classroom has a stadium feel to it. The students each have a grand view of my desk and the teaching podium I will be using daily.

Moving to the row behind them, I clear my throat, keeping my voice low as I lean forward. “You can both put your papers on my desk and leave. We will discuss this tomorrow when everyone is not in the middle of a test.”

“What? No man, we were?—”

“Talking during a test, comparing papers. That is cheating in my book. Put the papers on my desk and get out. Tomorrow, be ready to learn on your own or don’t come back. Yeah?”

“We’re finished, not cheating,” one kid replies. “But I understand how it looks.”

“You’re finished? The projector is still going.”

His head jerks to the front. A soft curse leaves him. “It was blank a minute ago, I thought it was done. Fuck. My mom’s going to kill me if I flunk a class straight off.”

“This is not a graded test, if that helps, but I do need you to get out. Tomorrow, be ready to learn.”

They finally get up and do as I asked, their tests landing on my desk as they walk by.

Forty minutes later, the lights are on fully, I am resetting my program and readying myself for the next group to come in. This semester I have three morning classes on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, which start at 7:30 am and run until 1:00 pm. Each being an hour and a half. On Tuesday and Thursday, I have two afternoon classes that start at 1:00 pm and run until 4:30 pm.

My morning classes are for the beginners, the kids who are familiar with ASL or even a few who are just learning. The afternoon classes, which are larger than the morning classes, are my advanced classes. These classes will be mostly silent. Best way to retain what you learn is to use it. Or so I was taught.

I grab my bag, checking for more cat vomit before I pull out my phone.

Dean: The devil left me a present this morning.

Ness: It’s a sign of love.

Dean: You, my sweet, are delusional.

Dean: He’s marking territory. I invaded, so he’s trying to make me go away.

Ness: Dramatic much? ??

Ness: Seriously, he’s not that bad.

Dean: How are those rose-colored glasses, love?

Ness: ??????????

Ness: Fitting just fine. How’s class going?

Dean: It’s going. Tossed 2 for cheating.

Ness: Figures. Special snowflakes are everywhere.

Dean: Yep. Okay love, kids are coming in. Talk later?

Ness: Come see me on your break?

Dean: Sure thing, love.

Ness: ????????

I can’t help but chuckle at her cattiness. No pun intended.

I love that woman with every fiber of my being, devil cat be damned. I am not letting her go no matter what. I’ll win that foul beast of hers over one day.

I knew going into this that cats are assholes.

Putting my best foot forward, I move to the classroom door and open it. The line that is forming is longer than the last one. Alright then, let’s get this thing started.

Morning classes are done. I have three hours until I need to be back in the room. The laptop already has the videos ready for the advanced test.

They will have it a lot harder than the morning classes, but hey, they should know more. It’s only fair. Right?

I leave the building I’ve been housed in to make my way across the campus, dodging kids and other faculty who are also walking through the courtyard. The library is easily the best-looking building on the campus. Three stories high, just enough windows to keep it from being dank and dark. The building sits in the middle of the campus. The heart of it all.

My girlfriend, the ever-so-sexy librarian, is in charge of it all. She’s the nerdiest book nerd I’ve ever met, and I adore the hell out of her. She can debate classics, modern works, and go all out for ancient texts and does so with a passion unlike any I’ve ever seen.

How much does she love books? Well, enough that she has an entire library in the house. When I’d convinced her to finally move in with me, I’d given up one of the two master bedrooms for her books. Wall-to-wall books that are shelved ceiling to floor. There are also eight standard shelves that are in the middle of the room, lined up like little soldiers that hold even more books. No joke.

The men who’d installed the big-ass shelving units we’d bought were amazed at the amount of boxes waiting to be unpacked. Ness spent the entire time they worked talking about her collection, which had started when she was a little girl. The collection is full of used, definitely loved books. Some of the collection is new, the spines in perfect shape. Some look like they’ve been buried in a grave for years then dug up. The rest are slightly worn. The collection also includes a few rare, highly valuable books. Those are going in the cabinet in the end. The glass pane would keep them safer than just having them exposed to the dust that life brings.

Moby Dick is a massive book. I swear it could be used as a weapon. And it’s old. The poor book is tattered in places, but it means something to her. So it has a special place behind glass. Her copy of A Tale of Two Cities is literally falling apart, but it is one of the oldest versions, so it too has a special place. Frankenstein is another that has seen better days, but as a kid she’d read it so much, the spine is nothing but a mess of lines.

Can I just say, I love this woman’s nerdiness.

That was one of the first things that drew me to her. That and her baby blue eyes. She’s funny, can be serious, and yet, she loves me back just as much as I love her. Yeah, yeah, I know, I’m talking about feelings. They say men don’t do that. Real men do. I have no reason to hide a damn thing.

“Hey, Dean, looking for Ness?”

I smile at Gretchen. “Yes, she said to meet her here.”

“She’s in the stacks somewhere. Last time I saw her, she was on the second floor in the back left corner.”

I smile again at the young woman who is my girl’s assistant. “Thanks.”

I take the stairs, hustling to get up there. The rows and rows of shelves meet me. I follow the empty aisles and make my way to the back corner. I stop, watching her climb a ladder, the books in her hand are precariously stacked, so they wobble slightly. I don’t want to startle her, so I stand there, keeping quiet until she has them sitting on the top step of the ladder.

“I think you could carry less books next time.”

“Ha. Not a chance. It’s a delicate dance that I’m leading here. How was your last class?”

“Fine, the best one yet. Just glancing at their tests, they might be the most advanced of my freshmen. How’s your morning been?”

“That’s good, I’m sure most of them are well versed. No one expects a test on day one.”

She does not agree with my methods some days. And that’s okay.

“Yeah, I know, but it’s the best way to see where they are. I’ve explained that.”

“I know, I’m not fussing. Honest.” She climbs down, grinning as she goes up on her tiptoes to ask for a kiss. I oblige and lean down to her, capturing her mouth with mine.

“Are you able to get away? I’m feeling a steak from Texas Roadhouse.”

She looks at her watch and nods. “I could eat. I didn’t realize it was after two already. Someone decided to rearrange books up here, so…”

I chuckle. “They probably do that to see if you’re paying attention.”

“The library never closes, so maybe. Some of these kids have no respect for order. I hope this year gets better, but no matter where we are in the school year, most will not put a book back where they got it. I have carts in each section to return books so we can put them away. They just don’t follow directions well. This next generation is doomed.”

I wrap my arm around her, pressing a kiss to her temple. “I know, love. Come on, let’s go eat. When I bring you back, I need to head over to the resource center and get more copies made. You know, since your devil cat made me have to toss out an entire folder of puke-covered papers this morning.”

Her laughter, soft and full of mirth, surrounds me. She puts a hand to her mouth. “I’m sorry. It’s just, I don’t know why he is acting this way. He does like you. He lets you love on him.”

“He tolerates my petting him when he demands it. The only time he is happy to see me otherwise is when I have treats.”

Once again she laughs. I shake my head and lead her to her office. Once she has her bag, we set off toward the parking lot. I’m going to get us fed then get ready for the next school day. The life of a teacher, no matter the level they teach, is never dull. I can only hope tomorrow will be a good day.