Chapter 36 - Noelle
NOELLE
I didn’t let myself overthink it.
I’d done enough of that my entire life.
I leaped forward and threw my arms around Rafe’s neck.
I locked my arms tight and pressed my cheek to his.
The sound of my sobs cracked the air around us.
Raw.
Desperate.
Grateful.
“You came for me. Even though you didn’t trust me.”
He cradled the back of my head. “Of course we came for you.”
“Thank you.” My words broke at the edges, and I burrowed deeper into his leather jacket. “I’m so sorry.”
His arm banded around my waist and locked me in place.
My softness met the hard planes of his chest and stomach.
I’d gone from having my body criticized by my coworkers to having it appreciated and loved.
The feel of him broke me completely. “I didn’t know who you were when I took the assignment.”
I choked on my grief at what I’d almost lost. What I might still lose. “If I’d known. God, if I’d known what kind of men you really were, I never would have agreed.”
“But then you wouldn’t have met us.” Bishop spoke from behind Rafe.
I lifted my head and met his shadowed gaze.
His lips quirked in a half-smile.
Something in his expression pulled at me.
I held out a hand to him, and he stepped forward to take it.
I looked between all of them, willing them to listen and understand. “You’re the best men I’ve ever met. All of you. I never wanted to hurt any of you.”
“We know.” Ash rested his forehead on my shoulder as he settled in behind me.
HIs usual cocky grin was replaced with something else, a soft, vulnerable look that welcomed me home. “Come here, sweetheart.”
I threw myself at him and kissed his cheek as fresh tears spilled over. “I can’t believe you’re here.” I still couldn’t quite believe it.
Ash held me tight. “You’re ours, remember? We protect what’s ours.”
Bishop stepped forward when I reached for him, his good arm wrapping around me while his injured one stayed pressed to his side.
I kissed his cheek, tasting the salt of my tears. “I’m sorry I got you shot. I’m sorry for everything.”
“Stop apologizing.” The roughness of his stubble grazed my lips, then my cheek as he brought his face alongside mine. “None of this was your fault.”
It was.
I appreciated his trying to take my guilt away, but I should have stopped wearing the wire a long time ago.
I should have reported Captain Delaney and the other detectives for their behavior.
I’d not wanted to be the woman constantly claiming sexual harassment, but I had every right to be comfortable in my workplace.
I shouldn’t have to wear a minimizer bra in front of my fellow detectives in the hopes that it would keep them from making comments about my size.
“I should have told you the truth from the beginning.” I spoke into the quiet with a barely whispered breath.
Rafe held up a hand in that typical controlling way of his. “No.”
He walked over and placed his finger beneath my chin, tipping my face up to meet his eyes.
“You think you should have trusted three dangerous bikers you’d just met? You think you should have believed we were different from what everyone said about us?”
“Yes.” I said it with my entire being.
Bishop chuckled and kissed the side of my head. “That’s a nice thought, Little Viper.”
“But you are different.” How could they not see that? I tried again. “You’re everything good and noble. Everything I never thought I’d find.”
Rafe’s expression shifted.
The closed-off look cracked, and he sighed. “When Colt said they’d taken you… it was the most scared I’d ever been in my life. In that moment, I knew I’d been wrong. You put yourself in danger to warn us, and you paid the price.”
His gaze skimmed my face and stopped at the cut on my neck.
I almost tried to hide it when his eyes darkened and the fury that had eased came roaring back into his face. “But I also betrayed you.”
I couldn’t say why I kept pushing the issue.
Some inner demon refused to be satisfied with their forgiveness.
Ash shook his head. “You didn’t betray us. Not really. You chose us over your job, your captain. Over everything. That’s not betrayal, Noelle. That’s love.”
My breath whooshed out.
How did a one-syllable word make me giddy and terrified and breathless all at the same time?
“I do love you.” I’d said it before, but it held more weight now.
After everything we’d been through together, it meant everything. “I love you all more than I thought possible.”
Rafe brushed the tears off my cheek.
Bishop continued to hold me, and Ash smoothed the hair away from my face, running his hand down my back and leaning in to kiss me.
Rafe took a step closer and framed my face in his large hands. “Listen to me, Noelle.”
How could I not when he spoke to me in that delicious tone?
“We all love you too. Even when I was furious at you, even when I sent you away, I never stopped loving you. I was too scared to admit it then, but not anymore. I’ve realized the cost of not loving you, and it’s too steep.”
They surrounded me in a cocoon of warm male bodies that I could stay in forever.
I breathed them in and swore to myself that I would never take this for granted.
For the first time since this whole nightmare began, I felt completely safe.
They made me whole.
Bishop shifted his weight, breaking the spell. “We need to move. As much as I’d love to stand here and hold you, someone will have called in the gunfire.”
“Right.” I scrubbed my face and cleared the last bit of fear from my throat. “What do we do?”
Exhaustion carved lines in their faces, but they all stood tall and proud.
Bishop winced when he moved, and Ash had a tear in his jacket from where a bullet had sliced through the leather.
I doubted he even knew how close he’d come to getting shot.
Rafe motioned for Bishop to take the lead.
Surprise widened Bishop’s eyes before he controlled the tell-tale sign. “We still have work to do.”
“The toy run.” I gasped. “You’re supposed to be delivering presents.”
Rafe, Bishop, and Ash shared a glance.
I waited for the inevitable demand that I go back to the clubhouse and wait for them.
“I want to come with you.” I stated it with all the firmness I’d used in interrogations.
Ash and Bishop grinned.
Rafe raised an eyebrow. “It’s dangerous. Breaking and entering is still a crime, even if we’re doing it for good reasons.”
“Don’t care.” I crossed my arms and did my best to match his dangerous air.
I fell embarrassingly short, but I tried. “I want to be part of this.”
They loved me, and I knew they wanted to protect me, but that did not mean they were allowed to leave me behind on the best night of the year.
Rafe studied my face for a long moment before he nodded. “Let’s go spread some Christmas cheer.”
Two hours later, we’d hit six houses and were parked in front of the seventh.
Every house so far had been a perfectly choreographed operation.
Ash picked the lock while Bishop and Rafe kept watch.
I carried in the bags of toys, and I couldn’t help myself as I read each of the tags when I placed them beneath the trees.
Sarah, age seven.
Miguel, age four.
Emma, age eleven.
We moved through the homes like ghosts.
Beautiful, gift-giving ghosts with hearts full of cheer.
Bishop lifted a bike from the back of the truck that followed us from house to house.
Colt sat behind the wheel, jamming to soft Christmas music and offering cups of hot chocolate every time we stopped.
“How do you know what they want?” I crept into the house behind Bishop, my arms full of small presents to put inside the stockings.
Bishop flashed a smile. “We pay attention.”
I believed that.
He’d learned more about me in a month than anyone in my life ever had.
Ash set a stack of toy blocks in the floor where the toddler boy would find them right away in the morning. “Mrs. Peterson at the grocery store mentioned that Sarah has been asking for a bike. Some of the teachers at school have the kids fill out cards. We, uh…”
He stopped and scratched his cheek. “We kind of break into the school and take pictures of the cards.”
Because of course they did.
My giant, terrifying bikers were nothing but big ole teddy bears at heart.
I finished my work on the stockings and turned to take in the small living room.
A plate of cookies sat near the fireplace, an adorable card with FOR SANTA scrawled out in red crayon.
I took one, bit into it, and put it back on the plate.
“That’s the spirit.” Rafe took three cookies and shoved one at each of us. “For the road.”
Bishop’s head snapped up, and he raised a hand.
I wasn’t military, but I knew the shut up and listen motion well enough to freeze in place.
“Kid’s awake.” Bishop mouthed the words and pointed toward the front door, then held a finger to his lips.
Ash tiptoed in exaggerated steps that reminded me of a Grinch movie I’d seen a few years ago.
Bishop rolled his eyes, but a grin threatened.
A board creaked upstairs, and we all froze again.
Bishop made ‘hurry up’ motions with both hands, but a quavery voice from the top of the stairs brought him to a complete standstill.
They’d all swapped out their denim and leather for Santa suits.
I wore one of my traditional sweater dresses and a scarf pulled up around my mouth.
The white curly wig and red hat completed my Mrs. Claus look, but the whole plan was to not get caught.
“Santa?” Another board creaked, tiny footsteps coming closer.
Rafe stared at each of us for a heartbeat, then plucked a candy cane from the stocking beside him. “Merry Christmas, Andre.”
A gasp, then the hurried slap of feet.
Rafe rushed around the corner to cut the boy off before he found all of us in his living room. “You’re supposed to be in bed.”
“I couldn’t sleep.” Giddy excitement laced the boy’s voice. “Mama said you’d come, but I was worried.”
“You never have to worry about Santa. He always keeps his promises, and he will always show up for Christmas.”
I couldn’t see Rafe, but I imagined him holding out the candy cane as a kind of tribute.
Andre sniffled. “Thanks, Santa.”
“You’re welcome.” Rafe’s voice was so soft I almost didn’t hear him at all. “Now, can you go back to bed for me?”
“Sure.” Tiny footsteps pounded back up the stairs.
Seconds later, Rafe reappeared in the doorway with eyes that glowed suspiciously bright in the muted lighting from a single table lamp. “Let’s go.”
Bishop cupped a hand around his ear, and the soft click of a door closing gave me a chance to breathe again.
I waited until we were back outside, with the door locked behind us, to grab Rafe around the waist. “You just made that kid’s Christmas.”
“That’s the point.” Rafe kissed the tip of my nose and guided me to the back of his bike.
We hit eight more houses before dawn but didn’t encounter any more kids out of bed.
Every stop reinforced what I’d already learned. My men were not criminals.
They were heroes.
They’d found a way to make a difference in the world.
Whatever happened with my career, whatever consequences I faced for choosing love over duty, it was worth it.
And we didn’t run into a single member of Vance’s club all night.
Rafe’s orders had sunk deep.
Best I could figure, they took it to heart and scattered.
Good.
I didn’t want anything else to do with any of them—or the detectives in my precinct.
I’d found my family, and I was never letting them go.