Chapter 007
Kaelen still had no idea what to do as they left the cemetery. The silence in the car was heavy, pressing against his eardrums, but it was better than the alternative. He could feel Silas watching him from the passenger seat. It made the skin on the back of his neck prickle. He wanted to scream, to tell Silas to stop analyzing him, but he kept his mouth shut and his eyes on the road. He knew Silas was judging him. He was judging himself enough for both of them.
He hated what he’d done.
When he’d decided to use his ability to make a living, he’d set hard rules. Boundaries. He was selective with his clients, he had a code of conduct, and he treated the dead with dignity. Tonight, he’d taken a sledgehammer to all of it. He’d dug up Melissa Campbell without her family’s permission, disturbed her rest to satisfy his own paranoia, and then shoved her back into the dark.
Hopefully, they’d never find out. Mark, the groundskeeper, hadn’t reappeared while they were filling the grave, and with any luck, the guy was already half-drunk and would forget he’d ever seen Kaelen there.
But Kaelen couldn’t forget.
It wasn’t just the desecration. It was the reason behind it. He hadn’t believed Voren. He hadn’t trusted the man he slept next to every night. He hadn’t even bothered to ask for Voren’s side of the story or explain the nightmare. He’d just assumed the worst. He’d assumed his boyfriend was a monster.
The drive home passed in a blur of streetlights and asphalt. Kaelen was grateful Silas didn’t ask any of the questions he was probably dying to ask. Kaelen didn’t have the energy to answer them. He felt scraped hollow, like the inside of the grave they’d just filled.
When he pulled up to the curb in front of their building, Voren’s car was parked in its usual spot.
Kaelen’s stomach dropped. He was home. He couldn’t hide anymore. Part of him wanted to keep driving, just do laps around the city until the sun came up, but he knew they needed to do this now. With the Organization closing in, they couldn’t afford to be fractured.
“I think I’m going to go,” Silas said, unbuckling his seatbelt.
Kaelen frowned, glancing over. “You can stay a while longer. I don’t think Voren minds. Even if he grumbles about it.”
“I think he minds very much, actually,” Silas said dryly. “But it’s okay. I’m pretty much healed up, and the two of you need your space back.”
“You just don’t want to be there when the screaming starts.”
“There’s that, too. But I don’t think you’ll do that.” Silas opened the door, letting in the cool night air. He paused, looking back at Kaelen. “You care too much about each other to let anything get between you. Even this.”
Kaelen gripped the steering wheel. “You don’t know what happened. Not really.”
“Not the details, no. But I know enough.” Silas hesitated, his usual sarcasm replaced by something softer. “I can’t say I understand where you’re coming from. I’m in the same line of work as Voren. To me, death is just Tuesday. But you’re not one of us, and I can’t imagine how complicated this is for you. Voren will be hurt, sure. But I think he’ll understand.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“I know I am. The two of you were made for each other, as weird as that sounds.” Silas stepped out onto the sidewalk. “Give him a chance to prove it to you. Give him time to wrap his mind around what happened. It might take a minute, but you’ll be stronger for it in the end.”
Kaelen watched Silas walk away down the street, disappearing into the shadows. He hoped Silas was right. He didn’t feel like they were stronger. He felt like shit.
He forced himself out of the car and up the stairs. Every step felt heavier than the last.
Voren was waiting on the couch when Kaelen unlocked the door. He looked up, a small, tentative smile touching his lips, but it vanished the second he saw Kaelen’s face.
Voren sat up straighter, his body tensing. “What happened? Where’s Silas?”
“He decided to go home.”
Voren frowned, then gave a sharp nod. “Good. It was about time.”
Kaelen could tell he wasn’t serious—or at least, not entirely. But he couldn’t tease him about it. Not now.
“He came with me to the cemetery,” Kaelen said.
Voren blinked, confusion wrinkling his forehead. “Why did you have to go to the cemetery?”
Kaelen stood by the door. He didn’t take off his coat. He didn’t want to get comfortable, not when he might be kicked out in five minutes.
“I saw Melissa Campbell die the other night,” he said. The words came out fast, blunt. He couldn’t look at Voren, so he looked at a scuff mark on the floor. “But I didn’t see everything. When I got there, in the dream... I could feel her pain. I heard a loud bang. But I didn’t realize that wasn’t the shot that killed her. I saw you through her eyes. You were pointing a gun at her. I thought you’d shot her.”
The silence in the room was absolute.
“I didn’t,” Voren said. His voice was quiet. Even.
“I know. I know that now. But I never saw the other body. I never saw the other man. I thought you lied to me last night because I was sure I saw you killing her.”
“How do you know I didn’t?” Voren asked. “If you didn’t believe me last night, why do you believe me now?”
Kaelen swallowed past the lump in his throat. This was the part that was going to hurt.
“I went to the cemetery to talk to her,” he admitted, finally looking up. Voren’s face was unreadable, a mask of calm. “I dug her up. She told me that you killed her killer.”
Voren looked away. He rubbed a hand over his face. “I did. I thought I’d get there in time, but I was too late. She was already nearly dead by the time I tried helping her.”
“She told me that, too. She said you tried to stop the bleeding.” Kaelen took a step forward, then stopped. “I’m really sorry, Voren. I should’ve told you about the nightmare. But I was scared. You were hiding things from me, and I thought... I thought one of those things was that you were a murderer. I should have trusted you.”
But he hadn’t. And that might be it. That might be the crack that brought the whole foundation down. He wasn’t sure what he’d do if Voren told him to leave, but he only had himself to blame.
He’d done this. He had let fear dictate his actions instead of trust. Now he had to stand there and wait for the fallout.
---
Voren had known something was wrong the moment Kaelen walked through the door. The tension in his shoulders, the pale cast to his skin—it screamed distress. But he hadn’t expected this.
He hadn’t expected Kaelen not to trust him.
It stung. He couldn’t deny that. After everything they’d been through, after the conversation about the Organization, Voren had thought they were on the same page. He didn’t have a reason to lie to Kaelen. Yet Kaelen had looked at him and seen a killer of innocents.
Well, Voren supposed he did have a reason to lie. He didn’t want to lose Kaelen. Maybe Kaelen thought Voren would say anything to keep him.
What surprised him more was the cemetery. Voren stared at Kaelen, who was still hovering near the door like a guest in his own home. It didn’t make sense. Kaelen had strict morals about his necromancy. He never disturbed the dead for personal reasons. He treated them with a reverence that Voren found baffling but endearing.
For Kaelen to go out there, dig up a body, and interrogate a ghost... he must have been desperate. He must have been terrified.
And that was Voren’s fault.
He was the reason Kaelen was involved in this mess. If it wasn’t for him, Kaelen wouldn’t be having nightmares about hit jobs from five years ago. He wouldn’t be looking over his shoulder for the Organization.
Voren pushed the hurt down. He locked it away in a box, just like he did with everything else that was inconvenient. He didn’t want Kaelen to feel guilty. The guy looked like he was about to shatter.
“All right,” Voren said.
Kaelen frowned, his brow furrowing. “All right?”
“I understand why you did what you did.”
“But I shouldn’t have done it.”
“I’m sure you regret reanimating Melissa,” Voren said, shifting on the couch. “But don’t be too hard on yourself regarding me.”
Kaelen looked bewildered. “What are you talking about? Why are you taking this so easily?”
“Because I don’t have a choice. How am I supposed to react?”
“I don’t know! Yell at me. Tell me how disappointed you are.”
Voren sighed. “I’m not disappointed, Kaelen. I’m hurt, sure. But I understand where you were coming from. I’m not surprised that you needed more than my word to believe me. Not with my history.”
Kaelen was already shaking his head, pacing a short line in front of the TV. “It shouldn’t be like that. You told me the truth. You were honest with me, and I didn’t believe you. It’s not right. Never mind what I did to Melissa—I betrayed you.”
“I wouldn’t call it betrayal. You had good reasons to verify. I wish you’d talked to me, but I understand why you couldn’t.”
“I really am sorry,” Kaelen said, his voice dropping to a whisper. “I should have trusted you.”
“Maybe. But considering everything, I can’t hold that against you.”
“Maybe you should anyway,” Kaelen argued. He looked miserable. “I chose to be with you, Voren. I knew who you were and what you did, and I still chose you. That means I should trust you. I should be able to ignore my dislike for the work and focus on you.”
Maybe Kaelen was right. In a perfect world, trust would be absolute. But that wasn’t the world they lived in.
“Look,” Voren said, leaning forward, elbows on his knees. “I’m not going to lie and say it doesn’t suck that you didn’t believe me. Especially when Russell and Elara did. But it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you’re talking to me now. I don’t want us to keep this kind of thing to ourselves. If you have doubts—about anything—I want you to come to me.”
Kaelen let out a wet snort. “You better believe I’ll do that after tonight. I feel like an idiot.”
“Don’t be too hard on yourself. This is the first experience we’ve both had with a real relationship. We’re going to stumble. We’re going to make mistakes. We shouldn’t hold a scorecard against each other.”
“You won’t hold it against me?”
“How can I? I’m hurt, but I can be logical.” Voren offered a small shrug. “I understand what happened, and I don’t blame you. We’ve been dealing with enough shit without the Organization getting involved. You keep dreaming of people’s last moments. Anyone would be freaked out in your place.”
“But I should’ve talked to you.”
“You should have,” Voren agreed. “I would’ve told you about Melissa. I would’ve told you that I was initially supposed to take that job, but I was delayed on another contract. I got there too late. I tried to save her, but she was already gone.”
The memory of it still tasted like copper in his mouth. He’d always felt guilty about that one. If he’d been faster, if he hadn’t gotten hung up in traffic... she wouldn’t have died.
“You did what you could to help her,” Kaelen said softly.
“I did. Please, next time, just ask. We can talk about these things as many times as you need to.”
Kaelen arched a brow, a hint of his usual spark returning. “Can we? Because you didn’t tell me about the Organization until you were forced to.”
Voren winced. “You’re right. And that’s on me. I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want you to look at me differently. Like I said, I did what I could to keep people safe, to help them escape when I could. But it wasn’t always possible.”
“I promise I’ll talk to you next time. You’re right. We need to air this stuff out before it festers.”
Voren nodded, watching Kaelen finally take off his coat and toss it onto the armchair. The tension in the room had broken, replaced by a tired, comfortable quiet. Voren hoped he wasn’t pushing his luck, but since the air was clear, he needed to address the other elephant in the room.
“Can we talk about your ability changing, too?”
Kaelen groaned, dropping his head back. “Do we really have to?”
“I think it’s becoming stronger, Kaelen.”
“I don’t think that’s possible. It is what it is.”
“I don’t think there’s another explanation. You’re having dreams about people dying—vivid ones. Marrow has become stronger, more aggressive, and we know how strongly he’s linked to you. I don’t believe those two things are a coincidence. I think they’re happening now because you are getting stronger.”
“I wish I had someone to talk to about these things,” Kaelen muttered, rubbing his temples. “Someone who actually knows how this works.”
Voren opened his arms. He didn’t say anything, just offered the space. He wouldn’t blame Kaelen if he needed a minute, or if he wanted to go shower off the graveyard dirt. Being in love with a professional assassin couldn’t be easy for a civilian, especially one with a conscience like Kaelen’s. It was a miracle Kaelen wasn’t hiding under the bed.
But Kaelen didn’t hesitate.
He crossed the room and dropped into Voren’s lap, wrapping his arms around Voren’s neck and burying his face in the crook of his shoulder. He felt solid and warm, smelling faintly of damp earth and cold air. Voren wrapped his arms around Kaelen’s waist, pulling him tight.
Kaelen let out a long breath, his body finally going lax against Voren’s chest.
Voren rested his chin on Kaelen’s hair, feeling a deep sense of contentment settle over him. Their problems were far from over—Helena was still out there, the Organization was still cleaning house—but the two of them were good again. Right now, that was all Voren cared about.
He had thought Kaelen would leave him. He had braced himself for the door to slam. But Kaelen was still here.
It would take work. A lot of work. But Kaelen was worth it. They both were.