CHAPTER SIX #3
“I’ve never told anyone this—” he began in a sullen, sexy rasp, “—but, in the eleven years I’ve known Erik, I’d say I’ve been drunk maybe…
a handful of times—usually when we’re out together and he has expectations.
It doesn’t matter what kind of day I’ve had; Erik expects and I’ve gotta step to it like a puppy.
Sometimes we’re at one of those faux philanthropy galas; you know the kind, where the rich pretend they’re charitable.
I don’t know anyone, and the people think they know me…
as if I’m one of them. I’ve never been like them.
Erik’s in his element with his elite friends and seems to forget I exist. I’m not a clingy partner; I do my best to support him with everything he does,” Nate rambled.
I had no idea where this was going, but I was alert and listening.
“Do you know what Erik does when I’m a little tipsy, a bit out of it?
” Nate asked rhetorically, “He’ll give me this look, like a disappointed high school principal.
Then he’ll get one of his employees to put me in a cab and I just go along with it.
The doorman for our building ensures I get into our penthouse safely.
But Erik doesn’t come home with me, doesn’t look out for me, doesn’t check I got home safe, or ensure I’m not choking on my vomit.
He shuts down and then ignores me…it goes on for days after.
I’ve gotten drunk on purpose a time or two because I know it annoys the hell out of him and he’ll be gone for a while,” Nate admitted.
Wow, Nate and Erik’s relationship was way more fucked-up and toxic than I ever could have imagined.
“He’ll happily get shit-faced with his rich Russian bros, and fucking Oliver Roux, but I’m not allowed to do it,” Nate sighed.
“I’m so angry with him. We waited for so fucking long, and fought so hard for the right to get married.
But, no matter a person’s gender or their orientation, people are just…
people. They’re messy and complicated. They lie, betray, disappoint…
” Nate trailed off mournfully. I said nothing, giving Nate his space. A minute later he added,
“I’ve been holding on to a fantasy to save face. I guess I liked being the gay marriage poster boy a little too much.” He let out a deep groan. “What a fucking joke! It’s not as if I can even get it up for him anymore. No wonder he looked elsewhere.”
Oh boy, this was…dark, and way too much information.
Nate deserved so much more than that lying piece of shit husband.
I was a little shocked to hear him say that he couldn’t get hard for Erik anymore, because I’d felt the evidence of his prowess grinding against my thigh… Nate was certainly hard for me!
“I’m so sorry, mate. You’re dealing with a lot of shit and you must be stressed out,“ I consoled.
Nate held his hand up to silence me. “It’s okay Jack.
I know, I know, I shouldn’t have kissed you,” he said with such a weight of sadness and shame in his tone that I wanted to shake him and tell him, No, no, no, don’t be ashamed, do it the fuck again.
“I crossed a line. That wasn’t fair on you,” he continued.
“I’ve been faithful to Erik for eleven years.
I’ve always tried to do the right thing, the honest thing…
it’s just…our mutual attraction took me by surprise.
I…I wanted to kiss you for real, just one time…
so I knew what it was like. I was selfish this one time.
I took something for me, y’know.” Nate turned to me then and I blazed from head to toe when his eyes met mine.
“It wasn’t like kissing you on set;” he admitted, his cheeks flushed to an adorable rosy pink, “It was way hotter!”
Yes, it really was. And now that I’d tasted Nate’s true kiss and felt his beautiful hard cock grinding against mine instead of the prosthetic dongs we used on set, I didn’t know what to do with myself.
His overwhelming kiss unleashed an effervescent rush of lust and longing in me.
Was I supposed to forget the thrill of holding his firm backside as he urgently moved against me?
Was I supposed to forget the taste of him, the sounds he made?
“I get it, okay,” I said softly, avoiding his eye contact, because looking into those soulful blue eyes while he was in pain would wreck me.
“Please, don’t feel ashamed. I hope you got what you needed.
It was a great kiss, the best. We’re all good,” I said keeping my voice calm and seemingly unaffected from being mown down by a hurricane of desire.
I was an actor after all; playing pretend was my thing.
Nate was off the hook; we were friends and would remain only friends.
Nate’s knee was jiggling nervously. I dared to reach out and squeeze his knee to still him. “I don’t know what to do Jack…about Erik,” he admitted pitifully. “A day ago, I thought I was married for the long haul, and now, I don’t know anything anymore.”
I thought for a long, ponderous moment before I said, “I suppose you have to ask yourself, are you the sort of person who can forgive him? Can you forgive all of the infidelity? Do you want to work on your marriage…and does he?”
Nate ran his fingers through his hair and let out a heavy sigh. “Hmmm, yeah, that’s food for thought,” he said wanly.
“And speaking of food, the burgers really good,” I added, plucking a chip and popping it into my mouth. “Eat something, and then I’ll help you pack. You’ve got to be at the airport by five.”
I picked up my cheeseburger and focused on the sight of the glistening, greasy meat and melted plastic-looking cheese for a moment before taking a huge bite. It was all I could do to stop myself from reaching for Nate again.
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