Chapter 29
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Kendall
I stand off to the side of the waiting area, biting my nails as I pace the floor. Constantly glancing between the nurses’ station, the doors I know Aaron is behind of, and everyone else who is worried and left with no answers.
I don’t even remember the drive here.
All I know is that Sutton and Lexi showed up at the shop and the next thing I know I was being loaded up in my father’s truck and driven to the hospital.
My dad didn’t leave. He didn’t ask questions about a man he didn’t even know about. He didn’t look at me for answers, but instead walked around the room asking everyone waiting if there was anything he could do.
I know the question will come later.
He is currently standing alongside Bennett and Brantley so I am sure that he is getting the quick notes version. I never want to be portrayed as a villain, especially to my father.
I truly hope they left out the part that the last time I saw or talked to Aaron I was a huge asshole.
“He’s out of surgery.” We all quickly turn to the sound of Aaron’s father voice. He looks exhausted, his eyes red, dark circles beneath them. “He’s still not awake but they say it could be awhile.”
“He’s gonna be pissed they shaved his head.”
I glance in Brantley’s direction to find him laughing.
“Would have been cool if they’d left a mohawk,” Bennett adds and the rest of the kids agree. But you can sense the tension in everyone. We were all worried.
“You should all go home,” his dad interrupts the laughter. “Even when he does wake he can’t have any visitors. Tomorrow after eight, but tonight they say he needs to rest.”
I don’t want to leave. I know I can’t see him, but somehow being here, close by, was something I needed.
“We can give you a ride home,” Sophie says as she seps back in Finn’s direction.
“I think I’ll stay,” I say, my lower lip trembling surprising me and Sophie too by the look on her face. Immediately she shifts forward, wrapping her arms around me.
“He’s gonna be okay.”
“I hate how we left things.” I bury my face in her shoulder. “I was such a jerk, and what I did, the things I said.” I take a shuddering breath. “I’m not even sure he would want me here, but leaving feels wrong.”
“I get it, but what can you do here now.”
“Be here.” I shrug, wiping away the tears that have pooled and spilled over, tracing along my cheeks. I just want to be here.”
After everyone is gone and I find a recliner in the family waiting room, I curl into myself and hide my face, wanting to be able to give in to the emotions without making a display of myself.
“Here you go.” A blanket is draped over me and I turn to see Aaron’s mom siting down in the chair next to me. “Thank you for staying.”
“I wouldn’t leave even if they forced me to.”
“They were able to get to the bleed in time,” she says, followed by a deep shuddering breath. “But no matter how many times they tell me his vitals are good and that things will be fine, I know I won’t believe it until I hear it directly from him.”
“I need to see him with his eyes open,” I confess. Vulnerable is not something I like being. I hate feeling weak, but saying those words aloud, admitting that I need Aaron doesn’t make me weak.
“Me too,” his mother whispers. “And you being here, it means more than I could ever explain. So much more.” She reaches out and places her hand on mine offering a gentle squeeze.
Together we sat in silence, our minds racing, our hearts aching as we count the minutes until he wakes up.
“Kendall.” I turn in the darkness of the room and blink a few times to clear my vision.
“He’s awake, girl.” Aaron’s father’s face becomes clear.
“Told him you were here, and I think he thinks we’re lying to him.
” A smile tugs at his lips. “When I told him you refused to leave until he woke up he laughed and said now I know you’re lying. ”
I smile, sitting up to pull the blanket off of me.
“Can I see him?”
“I insist, because apparently that is the only way my son will believe I am not lying to him.” He chuckles helping me up from the chair. “Told the nursing staff you were his wife.”
I stumble over my feet and he catches me before I fall on my face. His laughter deepens. Ah Aaron said you were one who feared commitment, I guess he wasn’t lying.”
“Were you hoping he was?” I ask, walking farther into the room.
“No.” Aaron shifts in the bed and winces a little. I wait for him to get comfortable, not sure what I could do to help and too afraid I’d cause more pain if I tried.
“Have you been here all night?”
“Yeah, since shortly after it happened. You were in surgery when I got here.” I remember the feeling that consumed me the very second Sutton told me what had happened. Like the strength in my entire body disappeared.
“So this is the first time I’m seeing you since…” I look down, fighting my emotions.
“Hey,” I glance up, “come here.”
I walk closer and he holds out his hand. “I was giving it time.”
“Giving what time?”
“Us,” he clarifies. “I thought we could use a cool down period. Sometimes when people are pissed or upset things get said you can’t take back. I didn’t want that to happen.”
“What do you want to happen?” I ask, fearful he’ll say the exact opposite of what I want.
“I want us to get over this shit and move on. I want us to start trusting in each other and I want you to stop pushing me away.”
“I want those things too.” Relief hits me when I realize that maybe there is still hope for us and that I hadn’t managed to ruin everything.
I’m thankful that this man has the patience that is required when dealing with me because I am a handful and I won’t deny that.
I’m a lot, but Aaron, he’s so much more than I bargained for.
“You’re just saying that because I’m laying in bed with my head shaved and bandaged up looking weak and frail.”
“I’m saying it because it’s true. Because for the last twelve hours I’ve been terrified that I wouldn’t get the chance to say any of it to you.”
He closes his eyes and I step closer not ready for him to hide them from me quite yet.
“I was fourteen.” His eyes reopen. “And things did happen that night that changed me.”
“We don’t have to talk about this now.”
“We do, because if we don’t I’m afraid I won’t be able to get it all out later.”
He nods in understanding.
“I was scared, and alone. It was only me and my father, I’d gotten into one of the many fights I’ve had with my mother.
My dad had withdrawn at that point and was spending most of his time at the shop.
I was angry, about everything, and so when I heard there was a party I went.
I knew I shouldn’t but I thought what is the most that could happen?
I’d be grounded later, maybe. I had no idea what I was walking into.
I trusted all the wrong people, I did what they wanted me to in order to fit in.
Then before I knew it I woke up the next day, naked in a strange room.
There was no one else with me, but I knew.
” I glance down when Aaron threads his fingers through mine, offering me comfort.
A gesture I’d normally run from, but coming from him it was exactly what I needed.
“It hardened me, it made me leery, made me cold, I know this. I’ve spent the rest of my life judging every man based on those events and I know that’s wrong. But that’s what felt safe to me.”
“And now?”
“Now you feel safe,” I confess and my eyes pool with tears. “I never wanted you to.” I force a smile. “But you do.”
I nod and try all I can to hold back my emotions but this night has been a rollercoaster.
Heck the last several days have been a whirlwind.
“When I’m with you I feel like I’m free of all those memories and I think that’s why I didn’t want you to know.
Because I was too scared it would change us.
I was afraid you would look at me differently and then that safety I’ve felt would be gone. ”
Aaron tugs on my hand bringing me as close to him as the hospital bed will allow. “Baby, nothing is going to change the way I feel about you. Not some terrible event that happened all those years ago and not your stubbornness to accept that you and I belong together now.”
I nod, because I can’t talk.
“Now, carefully climb up in this bed with me so that I can hold you. I think that might be the only thing that will make me feel better right now.”
I do what he asks and that’s how his parents find us a little while later.