15. Sabrina #2
“Concerned looks a lot like jealousy from where I’m standing.”
“Then maybe you should stand somewhere else.”
“I don’t want to stand anywhere else. I want to stand right here, with you, for the rest of my life.”
He was too close. I could smell his soap and his skin and the particular scent that was just him, and my whole body lit, all at once, heart slamming, stomach dropping, a low pull tightening between my hips right there in the produce section over a pyramid of avocados.
My mouth remembered his. My brain, unbidden and furious about it, supplied exactly how his stubble felt against the inside of my thigh.
I hated that I was thinking it. I didn’t stop thinking it.
My body remembered him even when my mind tried to forget.
“Killian.”
“Sabrina.”
He kissed me.
It was soft and quick, barely more than a brush of lips, but every nerve I had lit at once. I grabbed the front of his shirt without thinking, pulling him closer, and the kiss went hungry.
A cart rattled nearby. I heard voices, approaching.
I shoved him back, my face burning.
“We’re in public,” I hissed.
“I don’t care.”
“I care. I’m not going to be island gossip again.”
“Too late.” He grinned, the bastard. “Pretty sure the lettuce lady already has her phone out.”
I glanced over. She did.
“I hate you.”
“No, you don’t.”
“I really, really do right now.”
His grin faded and left him serious. “I’ll take that. I’ll take however you feel about me, as long as you’re feeling something.”
I was about to respond when a familiar voice cut through the produce section.
“Sabrina! What a surprise!”
Cordelia was gliding toward us, her designer dress perfectly pressed, her hair artfully tousled, her smile sharp enough to cut glass. She stopped in front of us and looked between me and Killian with exaggerated surprise.
“I didn’t realize you two were back together! Killian, you didn’t mention anything when we talked this morning.”
“We didn’t talk this morning,” Killian said flatly.
“Didn’t we? I could have sworn we ran into each other at the coffee shop.
You were so distracted, though. Poor thing.
” She turned to me, her expression dripping with sympathy.
“It must be so hard for you. Killian needs structure, you know. Routine. Someone who can keep him grounded. He’s just so lost without it. ”
The rage that had been building in my chest finally found its outlet.
“You know what, Cordelia? You’re right. He does need structure.
But here’s the thing about structure: it’s supposed to be supportive, not suffocating.
It’s supposed to help people grow, not keep them trapped.
And the only thing suffocating around here is your perfume and your desperate attempts to insert yourself into a marriage that doesn’t concern you. ”
Cordelia’s smile faltered.
“I was just trying to help,” she said, her voice losing some of its sweetness.
“No, you weren’t. You were trying to cause problems. You’ve been trying to cause problems since you got here, with your smoothie orders and your coincidental appearances and your concerned questions about how lost Killian is without supervision.
” I stepped closer, and she actually stepped back.
“But here’s the thing, Cordelia. Even if my marriage is falling apart, even if Killian and I never work things out, it won’t be because of you.
Because you’re not a factor. You’re not a threat.
You’re just a footnote from his past who can’t accept that he moved on. ”
The produce section had gone quiet. I was vaguely aware of people watching, phones out, but I couldn’t bring myself to care.
“So let me be clear,” I continued. “Stay away from my husband. Stay away from my family. And if I see you making one more move to undermine my marriage, I will make sure everyone on this island hears exactly how you spent your summer. The manufactured run-ins. The whispering. The wounded little face you put on the second anyone calls you on it.”
Cordelia’s face had gone pale beneath her perfect makeup.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said, but her voice wavered.
“I know exactly what I’m talking about. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have avocados to buy and a life to live. One that doesn’t include you.”
I turned my back on her and picked up my abandoned avocado. My hands were shaking, but I kept my spine straight and my chin up.
After a moment, I heard the click of heels retreating.
Killian was staring at me like I’d just done something to him.
“What?” I demanded.
“Nothing. That was just… really hot.”
“Shut up.”
“I’m serious. That was the hottest thing I’ve ever witnessed.”
“I said shut up.”
A cramp hit me, sudden and sharp, and I gasped, my hand flying to my stomach. The world tilted slightly, and I grabbed the edge of the produce bin to steady myself.
Killian was at my side immediately.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine. You just went white.”
“It’s just a cramp. It’ll pass.”
He was looking at me with those eyes that saw everything, cataloging every detail, filing them away for later analysis.
“You turned down sailing with Tessa yesterday,” he said slowly.
“I wasn’t in the mood.”
“You’re always in the mood. You love being on the water.”
“People’s moods change.”
“And you’ve been eating crackers for breakfast instead of your usual smoothie. And you’ve been tired in the afternoons. And just now you doubled over from a cramp and tried to pretend it was nothing.”
The cramp was easing, but a new kind of fear was taking its place.
“Killian, stop.”
“You’re hurting. You’ve been hurting for a while, and you haven’t told me what it is.”
“There’s nothing wrong.”
“You’re lying.”
“I’m not lying. I’m just… not telling you everything.”
“That’s the same thing.”
“It’s not. It’s really, really not.”
He was quiet for a moment, his hand still on my arm, his eyes searching my face.
“Whatever it is,” he said finally, “I want to know. When you’re ready. I want to be there for you, even if you don’t think I deserve to be.”
I couldn’t look at him. If I looked at him, I’d tell him everything, and I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready for his reaction, for his concern, for the weight of his attention turned fully on my body and what was happening inside it.
“I need to go,” I said. “Ivy’s with your mom, and I need to pick her up.”
“Let me drive you.”
“I can drive myself.”
“Sabrina.”
“Please, Killian. Just… give me some space.”
He stepped back. I could see how much it cost him, the effort it took to let me go.
“I’ll be here,” he said. “Whenever you’re ready. I’ll be right here.”
I grabbed my avocados and walked out of the store on legs that threatened to buckle at any moment.
Behind me, I could feel his eyes following me until I was out of sight.