Chapter 3
Murphy Sinclair glared at the receipt logs on his computer, the bright glow from the new monitor practically burning his retinas as he intently studied the screen.
He’d just spent twenty minutes meticulously going over each purchase made by every member of his bear clan this past month, aggravated for no genuine reason.
Everything looked legit, and he was sure it was.
Unfortunately, that didn’t help his agitation. Did anything nowadays? No.
Murphy huffed out a breath, exhaustion riding him hard as his hand tightened on the computer mouse. He slid the cursor to a small icon on the screen. He clicked on it, and another page of receipts popped up, this one for two hotel rooms out of state.
Although his father, Phillip, and twin brothers, Reece and Gunnar, had been living in an entirely different state for nearly a year now, their lengthy excursion hadn’t even put a dent in the clan’s wealth.
Not that it should have. Murphy had made sure that over the last fifteen years of his leadership, whether it was through the stock market or other lucrative investments, his entire clan would be financially set for generations to come.
Providing for the bears under his protection was the least he could do as an Alpha, and although ensuring the continued happiness of his people constantly weighed on his mind, it was a burden he had always been more than willing to bear.
But lately … It seemed those burdens had doubled in size and stress, each one settling on his shoulders more heavily than the last. As an Alpha, he was constantly ‘at work,’ even when he was at home, like right now.
It was Friday night, and instead of relaxing from the long week, he was going over finances. He had nothing to offset his responsibilities, no good way to unwind, which usually never bothered him, but lately, he found it left him feeling rather … volatile.
And not just him.
He felt a stirring in his mind then, his bear rising to the forefront and snarling. The sound was so vocal in his mind, he actually felt his eardrums rattle, as if the bear was roaring angrily in his face. Murphy pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.
While he was used to his counterpart acting grumpy, which had become a regular occurrence since a brutal betrayal over fifteen years ago had left both him and his bear somewhat jaded, he wasn’t used to the beast acting inconsolable.
His bear wanted one thing. And since Murphy refused to grant its request, it had become increasingly more violent toward him.
He didn’t know of any other shifters who dealt with their own animal attempting to attack them, but since he’d abandoned his true mate, a human named Nessa, last seeing her over two months ago when she was resting in their clan’s hospital, his bear wanted his head.
Or rather, it wanted to claim the human.
Since it could have neither, it had resorted to other methods to get under Murphy’s skin, so to speak. Its foul mood had now begun negatively impacting his day-to-day life.
Murphy stifled a yawn, his eyelids heavy and his body exhausted. Even sleep was beyond him; getting more than a few hours was impossible, as his bear sent image after image of Nessa into his mind, showing him what could be if he just tried.
Instead, he did his best to ignore his bear, but discordance with his counterpart was a major issue, and now everything that had pissed him off before was amplified tenfold.
The phone rang too loud? Sometimes he broke it.
Stub a toe on his door walking through it? He might have ripped it off its hinges and hurled it across the room.
Any minor inconvenience seemed to set him off, and while it was aggravating to deal with, at least each outburst was in private. Well, it had been until his other brother, Tank, walked in on Murphy throwing his coffee mug across the kitchen because it had scalded his tongue.
Ever since then, Murphy felt like he was being constantly watched, and not just by Tank. Everyone in his family seemed to regard him as some kind of specimen in need of being studied.
Murphy gritted his teeth as his bear swiped its claws against its mental cage.
A slicing sensation slid over his flesh, like he was being torn open from the inside out.
He almost jerked in his chair from the phantom pain—it felt so real—but he forced himself to remain still.
Unaffected. It was a bluff. This temper tantrum wouldn’t work on him today.
Yesterday, when his bear had done a similar thing, he’d been so startled, he’d jumped from his computer chair, knocking over his desk in the process. His computer had gone flying across the room, crashing onto the floor. Pieces of it had scattered across the hardwood, destroying the damned thing.
Luckily, he had just sent one of his enforcers, a shifter within the clan assigned to protect its members, to the store to buy him a new one.
Unluckily, that meant said enforcer, Colter in this case, had blabbed about his errand to Tank, who’d come storming into Murphy’s office, demanding to know if he was alright.
What a loaded question that was to answer, not that he had. He didn’t answer to anyone, nor would he. Ever. Besides, what could he say in response?
That his bear was furious with him and slowly driving him crazy?
That Nessa, a human he barely knew, was on his mind every waking second?
That even when he slept at night—if he slept—all he dreamed about was her dying in front of him, and in his dream, although he tried to reach her, he never could?
That sometimes, when it was too quiet, he could still hear the faint echo of her crying in fear, calling him a monster?
He felt like he was being haunted by her, and with his bear constantly finding ways to remind him of her, to poke and prod at his mind whenever it could, that feeling of despair had been increasing daily.
How long could this continue before he finally lost the war against his bear and tracked her down?
He knew where she worked and lived. It would be so easy to find her—
No.
Murphy slammed his fist down onto the desk resolutely, rattling the pen holder beside his keyboard. He needed to avoid Nessa. He’d been doing a spectacular job of it so far, and if he just waited his bear out, he could suffer through the need clawing at his gut to claim her.
He could get past this. His bear would let her go eventually. It would just take focus on his part and determination. He could do this.
Murphy rolled his eyes. He wished he could actually believe that, but if anything, his determination to avoid Nessa only made the ache for her worse.
Each day, when he woke, he swore he could smell her in the air; a sweet scent of berries and vanilla, and the decadent aroma of whatever shampoo she used.
The blend of those sweet scents mixed together into an enticing concoction that kept his dick rock hard for hours, desperate for relief.
Not that he’d indulged himself; not for a single second.
He knew that if he gave in to temptation, if he stroked himself to completion while thinking of her, it wouldn’t be enough.
It wouldn’t even scratch the itch that plagued his body and soul, demanding to be sated.
And then, when he realized that his hand wasn’t enough, he’d hunt her down and drag her back here where—
His bear let out a satisfied rumble, pleased that Murphy was finally seeing things its way. That was enough to shake him from his thoughts. Going anywhere near Nessa Parker was a mistake.
He didn’t even want a mate, let alone a human. He had his reasons. After being betrayed, tortured, and nearly murdered all those years ago, he thought his bear would agree with him that mating anyone, especially a human, was a bad decision.
Didn’t it remember the pain, the heartache they’d survived together?
The last female he’d let into his life had nearly destroyed him and his family.
His entire clan. Shackling himself to another female wasn’t worth the trouble it could cause, especially since Murphy was the Alpha.
He was responsible for everyone here on his territory.
He could have no distractions. No weaknesses.
And besides, Murphy had run a background check on Nessa after they’d first met.
Her identity seemed as legitimate as a four-dollar bill, only solidifying his decision to leave her alone.
Theoretically, even if he did ever decide to mate, which he wouldn’t, they would need to be someone trustworthy, someone who would protect his clan as surely as he would. Someone who put the needs of his people over her own.
And Nessa … Well, after finding out that he and his family were shifters, she had fled as soon as she’d been allowed to leave his mother’s clinic.
He didn’t necessarily blame her for her reaction.
She was human, previously oblivious to the shifter world, his world.
The shock of it all had clearly horrified her.
Aside from that, though, she puzzled him; it seemed she was also a mystery to her own kind.
‘Nessa’ probably wasn’t even her real name; it was clear she was running from some kind of trouble, not that he’d figured out what.
Hunny, Tank’s mate, knew something but refused to tell him, insisting he speak with Nessa if he wanted answers. While he wanted the truth, getting anywhere near the human, especially in the state his bear was in currently, wasn’t a wise decision.
Regardless, he didn’t want said trouble to find her. She was still his mate, even if he had no plans to solidify that bond. So, he’d instructed a few of his bears to take shifts watching her place daily, just to make sure she was alright.
His bear snarled in warning, so loud it was impossible to ignore. They should have been watching over Nessa. Not some other male. She was theirs. She needed them.
“Enough,” Murphy snapped under his breath, hoping his bear would finally heed his order.